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(Abc.net.au)   Jesus Chainsaw Massacre now available with half the spatter   ( abc.net.au) divider line
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21806 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2005 at 9:12 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-02-11 03:19:50 PM  
Hebalo: Don "No-Soul" Simmons.

j00 rule
[image from media.movieweb.com too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 03:20:13 PM  
I think as a priest i'm qualified to take this question.

hahahaha.....A little too qualified maybe?
 
2005-02-11 03:20:39 PM  
LoveInAction:

As far as not wanting to hear certain things, lots of peoples' own consciences are their problem in that regard.

The message of the gospel is not one of hate, leastwise, not the hate of righteous things.


No it's not but you use the gospel and other good parts of the Bible to get your grubby little feet in the door.

Once you've gotten to the poor saps then it's time to start the message of hate.
 
2005-02-11 03:21:23 PM  
The message of the gospel is not one of hate, leastwise, not the hate of righteous things.

In YOUR opinion. Which is not universal.
 
2005-02-11 03:23:25 PM  
Mel should update the soundtrack as well. Perhaps for one of the torture scenes Slayer's Altar of Sacrifice would be appropriate:

Blood turning black
change has begun
flesh starts to burn twist and deform
eyes dripping red realization of death
transforming of 5 toes to 2
Learn the sacred words of praise,

HAIL SATAN!
 
2005-02-11 03:24:39 PM  
And what happened in Season 2? I'm still waiting for it on DVD.

As are we all.

Really man, you actually believe all this stuff?

The alternative is what we have seen thus far in mankind's history... law of the jungle and might makes right... until Man either destroys himself totally in his greed and pride or somehow manages a way to open the universe to travel, and then perpetuates this earth system of things to other planets, ad nauseum.

My faith thus far makes me hope for the first alternative, because we'd still get to explore the universe eventually, but under a more robust form of government and healthy life.
 
2005-02-11 03:24:45 PM  
walkingtall: That idea of never being good enough on your own is the heart of Christianity.

Well said. Thus the guilt. Thus the rabid drug abuse in the US. The funny part is, if Jesus actually did show up right now the Christian right would crucify him again. They would never buy Jesus' anti war stance.

-On the movie, anybody else just turn it off after the beating had gone on for the first HOUR? That movie makes Godfather seem like a comedy.
 
2005-02-11 03:25:34 PM  
Gnostics disagree with this "singular god" thing in the Old Testament. God's own words of jealousy allude to another being of equal power.
 
2005-02-11 03:26:15 PM  
walkingtall
This goes to the "earn your way into heaven" mentalitiy. The idea that you can be good enough to get to heaven. Unfortunately that flies in the face of the Bible. Nobody can be good enough to earn their way into heaven. We all screw up and sin. That idea of never being good enough on your own is the heart of Christianity.

Almost, but the heart of Christianity is Christ. And Jesus accepted everyone who wanted to follow, warts and all. Even people he knew would fail, sin, and betray. They were invited. The poor and the prostitutes and the outcasts were also invited, as well as the people who were moral and good on the outside but held hidden sin on the inside. They could come, too.

So while it is true that no one can be good enough to earn their way into God's good graces, the point is that they don't have to. Just like a child can never earn his/her parent's love, or shouldn't have to at least, we don't have to earn God's love. We've already got it. That's the heart of it.

And this is where Christians miss the point. They start seeing themselves as morally superior to everyone else, and they start acting like their salvation was earned or had anything to do with their goodness. Salvation and works are not connected in God's eyes, and our only attitude should be one of humilty. Period. Christians need to get rid of that sinful self-righteousness.

And realize that Jesus was a bleeding heart Liberal and the economics of the New Testament are primarily socialist.

And pull the stick out. Seriously.
 
2005-02-11 03:26:24 PM  
Heracles was not only considered to have been a living, breathing person, but he had descendants, a whole bunch of 'em in fact.


True but the MYTHOLOGY surrounding him was not put forward and challenged at the time he did it. Jesus's believers made the claims themselves during his lifetime and Jesus claimed that he WAS God. Totally different than mythology surrounding what he did or did not do. If this statement by you proves MY ignorance then I guess I truly am ignorant by your standards and I do not want to be not ignorant by your standards.
 
2005-02-11 03:26:42 PM  
[image from images.google.co.tt too old to be available]

Why should I worry? All you non-Christians are going to hell!
 
2005-02-11 03:27:15 PM  
Jesus is Santa Claus for adults

[image from stickergiant.com too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 03:27:32 PM  
Thus the guilt. Thus the rabid drug abuse in the US

Um, let me just point out that drug abuse doesn't equate guilt.

Drugs are a lot of fun and people like them too.

/not endorsing drug use
//only endorsing truth
 
2005-02-11 03:29:21 PM  
walkingtall

Are you basing this opinion of his followers asserting that Jesus was god "in his lifetime" on the gospels of Luke and John and Paul.. all written at least 100 years after Jesus's death?

Because that certainly is not "in his lifetime".
 
2005-02-11 03:29:48 PM  
"Male gays are still gross.
I'm no homophobe thought. just think its gross."

Doesnt matter...in today's PC society, if you dont agree with their lifestyle, then you are branded a homophobe.
 
2005-02-11 03:30:33 PM  
It's fun to GIS for funny "christian themed" things...

[image from img.photobucket.com too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 03:30:39 PM  
kendi823:

You know, for the people out there like myself, calling "passion" the "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" is actually offensive. Not that I expect anyone to care.

Comments like this puzzle me. Is this not fark? Isn't spearing
sacred cows (no pun intended) par for the course?
 
2005-02-11 03:30:57 PM  
In YOUR opinion. Which is not universal.

Yes... alas, when posting in these threads, I can only speak for MY opinion.

/Didn't know that that required overt mention.

No it's not but you use the gospel and other good parts of the Bible to get your grubby little feet in the door.

Once you've gotten to the poor saps then it's time to start the message of hate.


Ah, despair of despairs! Our conspiracy has been unmasked! What villainous knave broke silence?
 
2005-02-11 03:31:10 PM  
I seem to recall Revelations stating that there's only enough room in heaven for about 144,000 chosen people.
 
2005-02-11 03:31:18 PM  
soporific

Almost, but the heart of Christianity is Christ. And Jesus accepted everyone who wanted to follow, warts and all. Even people he knew would fail, sin, and betray. They were invited. The poor and the prostitutes and the outcasts were also invited, as well as the people who were moral and good on the outside but held hidden sin on the inside. They could come, too.

So while it is true that no one can be good enough to earn their way into God's good graces, the point is that they don't have to. Just like a child can never earn his/her parent's love, or shouldn't have to at least, we don't have to earn God's love. We've already got it. That's the heart of it.

And this is where Christians miss the point. They start seeing themselves as morally superior to everyone else, and they start acting like their salvation was earned or had anything to do with their goodness. Salvation and works are not connected in God's eyes, and our only attitude should be one of humilty. Period. Christians need to get rid of that sinful self-righteousness.

And realize that Jesus was a bleeding heart Liberal and the economics of the New Testament are primarily socialist.

And pull the stick out. Seriously.


Not quite right but I love how every person in this thread bashing Christians loves to tell Christians what they do and do not believe and try to teach us our own theology. You claim that Christians do not understand the real world yet you do not even have a clue WHAT you are railing against. I find this all very, very funny and that is one reason I do not take the name calling personally. To call someone stupid and ignorant when you do not even have a clue what or what not that person believes kind of dilutes the power of the insult.
 
2005-02-11 03:32:57 PM  
HAHAHA!!! It's fun to make light of other people's faith!! It's cool to spit on traditions and mock religious symbols!!!

[image from reformation.org too old to be available]

What a tool! Lives in a cave!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

[image from ibiblio.org too old to be available]

This guy is FAT!!! What a joke!!!

Sun god?!?! HAHAHAHAHAH!!! Ancient people were STUPID!!! How could they be so dumb!!!?!?! HAHAHA!!!
 
2005-02-11 03:33:34 PM  
WalkingCarpet
LoveInAction:
"As far as not wanting to hear certain things, lots of peoples' own consciences are their problem in that regard.
The message of the gospel is not one of hate, leastwise, not the hate of righteous things."

No it's not but you use the gospel and other good parts of the Bible to get your grubby little feet in the door.
Once you've gotten to the poor saps then it's time to start the message of hate.


Sadly, this is true of many Christians, but not all. The Bible does talk about what should be hated, such as injustice, oppression, and anything that hurts others. Hatred of people though, says Jesus, is right out. Even if they are your enemy.

There are indeed Christians who have decided to put CHRIST back into Christianity, who live by Jesus' creed of love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemies, and love whoever's left to love. Those who preach hate are not followers of Christ, no matter how good their sheep costumes are.
 
2005-02-11 03:33:54 PM  
Karmic Hoax

Glad to see you again, its been a while. Your points are right on. Keep up the good fight!

/KarmicHoax fan!
 
2005-02-11 03:33:56 PM  
LoveInAction

You completely missed the point of my post. Yes, obviously it is your opinion.

YOUR opinion about what the gospel is, is no more correct or valuable than someone who thinks the gospel is a hate-mongering piece of filth or completely irrelevant.

Those last two opinions don't show up on your doorstep because they think what they believe is so fantastically valuable they MUST get others to believe it too.

/sorry for assuming you had the ability to understand what I meant without elaborating
 
2005-02-11 03:34:16 PM  
[image from solarnavigator.net too old to be available]


Sun god?!?! HAHAHAHAHAH!!! Ancient people were STUPID!!! How could they be so dumb!!!?!?! HAHAHA!!!
 
2005-02-11 03:34:21 PM  
-On the movie, anybody else just turn it off after the beating had gone on for the first HOUR? That movie makes Godfather seem like a comedy.


Nah, I was too busy fapping to it.
 
2005-02-11 03:34:21 PM  
[image from pages.cthome.net too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 03:34:26 PM  
walkingtall

Do you believe that everything in the Old Testament is true?
 
2005-02-11 03:34:45 PM  
LoveInAction:

Ah, despair of despairs! Our conspiracy has been unmasked! What villainous knave broke silence?

Not talking conspiracy here, LIA, take off the tinfoil hat, you're missing the big picture.
 
2005-02-11 03:36:00 PM  
This thread has me howling on a sunny Friday afternoon.

I love you all.

/choking back the tears
 
2005-02-11 03:36:14 PM  
KarmicHoax: I seem to recall Revelations stating that there's only enough room in heaven for about 144,000 chosen people.

I didn't think the combined Boards of Directors for Enron and Halliburton were quite so big!

Jesus didn't ride an elephant
 
2005-02-11 03:36:39 PM  
Not to derail or sidetrack this lovely flamewar, but I have a question. Also, please forgive me if I "back up a bit" by asking a preliminary question that has been asked many many times before.

Part 1:

I'm just curious (and I already know Mike_71's answer to this part): if the only way to get to Heaven is through Christ, what of all the people who lived and died well before Jesus was even born?
 
2005-02-11 03:37:25 PM  
WALKINGTALL, tell me do you accept that large portions of your faith originate from older societies ie: the Hummarabi and Sumerians?

The ten commandments is almost identical to the Hummarabi Code, and perhaps 60% of the old testament is derived from the writings of the Sumerian high priests who practised ancestoral forms of worship.

All religion is MAN MADE. The arrogance of people who believe that A) they can understand the nature of GOD(if he exists) B) Thier narrow interpretation of God's will is the only "right" one.

You probably will ignore this post since you probably deny that fact that your "Good Book" is a whole lot of plagarism, with some factual history thrown in. (After thorough research I Have accepted that Both the tower of Babel, and the great flood story's do contain some truth)
 
2005-02-11 03:37:45 PM  
I'm just curious (and I already know Mike_71's answer to this part): if the only way to get to Heaven is through Christ, what of all the people who lived and died well before Jesus was even born?




Easy. Reborn as monkeys.
 
2005-02-11 03:37:48 PM  
Farker_Taint

Hey! Thanks for the vote of confidence! [image from members.cox.net too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 03:38:22 PM  
I seem to recall Revelations stating that there's only enough room in heaven for about 144,000 chosen people.

And correct you would be! (What do we have for him, Johnny? A BRAND NEW CAR!)

That's a reference to what may or may not be a symbolic number of those in the eschelon of spiritual beings who will serve as governors of the earth during the Judgment and thereafter on the new world(s). They've earned that right in a manner of speaking as being those who were able to overcome the influences of Satan in this current system of things...

Certainly that would apply to only a few in number, relatively speaking, and certainly worthy of governorship in a world unbelabored by Satan.

There are hierarchies in most systems... makes for a natural order of things and solid organization.

Ergo, what exactly was your original point?
 
2005-02-11 03:39:06 PM  
walkingtall

Do you believe that everything in the Old Testament is true?



Yes
 
2005-02-11 03:39:30 PM  
Hebalo

According to the bible, if I recall, they are excused due to ignorance. They were not aware of Jesus, so they are not penalized for not "following" him.

But if anyone has heard of Jesus and rejects him, then WOE IS YOU... and so forth. No heaven for you!!
 
2005-02-11 03:40:19 PM  
No it's not but you use the gospel and other good parts of the Bible to get your grubby little feet in the door.

Once you've gotten to the poor saps then it's time to start the message of hate.

LoveInAction

Ah, despair of despairs! Our conspiracy has been unmasked! What villainous knave broke silence?


Your sarcasm is merely a clever way of dodging the issue at hand, so bravo!. Be a good chap, and address the issue. If people dont want to be bothered by *your* religious views, what gives you or others the right to continually force your view down their throat or condemn you to the "fiery pits of hell", which goes against several basic principals of Christianity? I'm not talking about here in Fark, Im talking about at home, at work, etc. Don't pretend it doesn't happen, because it does, quite often. Let me also conjecture that you have reservations about other denominations within Christianity itself (Methodist, Baptist, etc. etc.) How do you explain the hatred or hate-filled rhetoric from one denomination to another?

I get the filling that Jesus/God/Whoever wouldn't appreciate any of this very much. But if its all in his name, it makes it right?
 
2005-02-11 03:41:10 PM  
2005-02-11 03:39:06 PM walkingtall

walkingtall

Do you believe that everything in the Old Testament is true?

Yes


Who was the mother of Cain and Abel's children?
 
2005-02-11 03:42:29 PM  
/sorry for assuming you had the ability to understand what I meant without elaborating

Hey, never overestimate my ability to understand your comments without needing further clarification, thank you very much!
 
2005-02-11 03:42:58 PM  
soporific:

There are indeed Christians who have decided to put CHRIST back into Christianity, who live by Jesus' creed of love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemies, and love whoever's left to love. Those who preach hate are not followers of Christ, no matter how good their sheep costumes are.

That may be but where are they?

All I see are a group of people who are systematically demonizing other groups of people.

They may exist but they are clearly in the minority in my opinion.
 
2005-02-11 03:43:30 PM  
walkingtall

Not quite right but I love how every person in this thread bashing Christians loves to tell Christians what they do and do not believe and try to teach us our own theology.

I try to teach my fellow Christians the teachings of Jesus because far too many of them are utterly clueless about the faith they claim to adhere to. They spew hate and intolerance and love of money, all in the name of 'Christian Values.' And Scripture backs me up on my claims.

You claim that Christians do not understand the real world yet you do not even have a clue WHAT you are railing against. I find this all very, very funny and that is one reason I do not take the name calling personally.

You seem to be lumping me in with the people truly bashing Christianity. I find THAT very, very funny. Here I am, a follower of Christ trying to proclaim the Gospel on this here internet-thingy, and the Christians turn on me.

Being a critic, by the way, is not the same thing as being a basher. I will criticize Christians for not living in accordance with Christ's teachings, and I make no apology for that. If you feel attacked or stung, make sure that YOU are fully up on what Jesus said. (Those are the words in red in some Bibles)

To call someone stupid and ignorant when you do not even have a clue what or what not that person believes kind of dilutes the power of the insult.

And aiming a rebuke at the wrong person makes you look silly. But I forgive you. You were probably aiming for someone else and I just got tagged by some friendly fire. That's OK, I'm only taking this thread half-seriously anyway.

"You know, that religion with all the well-meaning rules that never work out in real life...Christianity!"
-Homer
 
2005-02-11 03:43:35 PM  
Wytchocolate

Who needs a mother, when you can just make babies out of bones and magic beans. Duh!
 
2005-02-11 03:43:39 PM  
I'm just curious (and I already know Mike_71's answer to this part): if the only way to get to Heaven is through Christ, what of all the people who lived and died well before Jesus was even born?


Eternal damnation.
Life isnt fair.
After-life even less so.
 
2005-02-11 03:43:46 PM  
2005-02-11 03:33:54 PM Farker_Taint [TotalFark]

Karmic Hoax

Glad to see you again, its been a while. Your points are right on. Keep up the good fight!

/KarmicHoax fan!


Would you be saying that if you hadn't seen her profile? ;->
 
2005-02-11 03:43:56 PM  
LoveInAction

Getting a little angry there?

But again, I'll just point out that what your OPINION is of what the text *really* means is still subjective and not universal. (yeah, I know. You are aware it's your opinion... but apply that awareness to acceptance that opinion is limited)

Off topic, I like the Gnostics. They are followers of Jesus who pretty much dismiss those that cling to the bible. Various gospels (like that of Mary Magdelene) share how the bible was written for those that didn't have the mental ability to handle the truth about Jesus. Interesting reading anyway.
 
2005-02-11 03:45:47 PM  
walkingtall

Do you believe that the earth does not rotate and is balanced on pillars?
 
2005-02-11 03:45:58 PM  
KarmicHoax: According to the bible, if I recall, they are excused due to ignorance.

Is that so? Huh.

/wouldn't happen to know chapter and verse, wouldja?
 
2005-02-11 03:46:46 PM  
Wytchocolate: Who was the mother of Cain and Abel's children?


Thats one thing I never figured out myself. Must been Eve.
It was a friggin inbred gangbang!
 
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