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(Abc.net.au)   Jesus Chainsaw Massacre now available with half the spatter   ( abc.net.au) divider line
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21810 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2005 at 9:12 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-02-11 02:19:59 PM  
Useless. Without. Pics.

Unh-huh. Keep dreaming, baby.

I should probably amend that to being a "mental hard on" so as to avoid any future out-of-context fap-inducing material.
 
2005-02-11 02:20:41 PM  
*mount

/doh
 
2005-02-11 02:21:56 PM  
walkingtall

Yes but if you disagreed you were killed. I do not know my ancient Egyptian history that well but I seem to remember that the deity of the pharaohs was put aside a time or two. Then it was brought back. And ALL opposition was stamped out immediately and brutally. That did not happen during early Christianity. The doubters were in power, not the Christians. Their claims were met with scoff and disbelief and the Christians were in no power to enforce their belief. All they had was truth

The Romans made the Christians in power. Woe to he who did not follow the official Roman religion.
 
2005-02-11 02:22:38 PM  
Holy carp, sigdiamond just sent me the Mike_71 turtle story.

Makes the Mike_71 card absolutely hilarious! Is that of your own design Wytchocolate?
 
2005-02-11 02:22:39 PM  
Holly_Wight:

out-of-context fap-inducing material

That's the last thing I expected to read in this thread.
 
2005-02-11 02:23:36 PM  
Does he have a plan to deal with people who bastardize his Word? And if he does, can he implement it now?

His timetable is His timetable... I don't presume to understand it all myself, much as I (and any reasonable person) would like to see all misery end immediately.

I realize that means that most fundie-Republicans will be gone, but that's not a bad thing, is it?

I hold no truck with politics or politicians, and find both ends of that spectrum eminently deplorable.
 
2005-02-11 02:23:38 PM  
2005-02-11 01:52:16 PM walkingtall

Wytchocolate

While I hesitate to say this I must say I have read your posts in this thread. Please explain to me your denomination and how your beliefs jive with the entire Bible and not just some picking and choosing. Everything in the Bible is about balance and trying to reconcile irreconcilable concepts. Your theology is suspect based on what you have written. There are a lot of people trying to water down Christianity to appeal to more people and you sound like one of these. The one problem with watering down is you lose the strength of the original message. Think very hard about what you do and do not believe


I believe in the simple premise of love your neighbor and do your best to live the life of Christ. With most everything there is an evolutionary process, including religion. The eye for an eye concept is no longer valid in this day in age. You can apply this concept to many other facets of Christianity.
 
2005-02-11 02:23:42 PM  
Jesus wasn't a liberal, he was a socialist. This was one of the main reasons why he was rejected by the local Jewish establishment.
 
2005-02-11 02:24:10 PM  
Holly_wight

I am sorry but you are the only one spewing venom and hatred. You are not defending yourself against anyone but the enemies you have created in your own mind. Judging by the posts in here I have a LOT more reason to be frightened for my safety then you do. I do not believe in some of what Pat Robertson says but he has NEVER called for violence against any group of people. Even though I have been attacked repeatedly and called every name in the book by so called believers in tolerance which you honestly believe yourself to be. You hate Christians because you know they do not agree with what you do. I am sorry but that is your problem. Just like me running from a thread where I am being made fun of. That is my desire to not be insulted. I am not in any immediate threat. To spew crap like you do is very scary.
 
2005-02-11 02:24:11 PM  
"Fact: Blue is a color.
Opinion: Blue is ugly
Belief: Blue is blue cuz god made it that way"

Until we meet another species that has some sense of aesthetics, we're not totally sure that 'ugly'/'pretty' isn't a universal trait.

Belief is just an opinion you're very sure of. Subject/object differences are very, very hard to calculate. What if, tomorrow, we found out that our most basic aesthetic beliefs are universal across different planets?

Beats me, but I wouldn't be surprised if anything smart enough to create art would essentially share our sense of beauty.
 
2005-02-11 02:24:24 PM  
depafeo
What if Jesus hadn't died?

An interesting question, one theory was in the book "What if 2", its basically a collection of essays on history taking a left turn at key moments.


Their take was that the Jesus that died of old age who was preaching pay your taxes and respect your masters was useful for diffusing the simmering jewish rebellion. They liked the fact that the Chrstians would venture out to the far reaches of the empire preaching the same and tying the various races and peoples under the state's unofficial faith, which was made the offical religon by Constantine.

Long term, the empire never split or fell, they discovered the new world with the help of the Norsemen, Islam never rose, and the empire expanded to cover the entire world. Unlikely, but it could have happened.
 
2005-02-11 02:26:03 PM  
Skitz

Man, the meek aren't going to inherit didley squat. It's a problem of motivation.
 
2005-02-11 02:27:50 PM  
2005-02-11 02:13:12 PM SherKhan [TotalFark]

Teen Jesus was a know-it -all
Teacher's pet monitor of hall
He always had the perfect answer
And with tap was quite the dancer
If fact right now in Heaven Jesus
Through holes in his feet he sees us
While Jesus does the old soft shoe
He keeps an eye on me and you.


Sherkan 1:1

Do you save your poems? A book of your poetry would sell.
 
2005-02-11 02:28:18 PM  
Wow. holly_wight if you had a penis numerous ppl in this forum would be mounting you.
Dykes are perfectly natural and beautiful...as long as thier hot. Male homosexuality is just plain gross.

Most Hardcore christians are too ignorant to know that a large portion of thier beliefs were stolen from the Hummarabi (spelling) and ancient Summerian Mythology.
 
2005-02-11 02:29:00 PM  
do christians believe in zombies?
 
2005-02-11 02:29:18 PM  
I think a lot of self described Christians do Christianity and Jesus's lessons a dis-service by opening their cakeholes.

Without a doubt... but fair is fair, and I'd say the atheists and other so-called 'rational' thinkers are making an equally poor showing with their gaping maws.

/let's all agree there's already too much talk in the world
 
2005-02-11 02:29:21 PM  
Wytchocolate

I believe in the simple premise of love your neighbor and do your best to live the life of Christ. With most everything there is an evolutionary process, including religion. The eye for an eye concept is no longer valid in this day in age. You can apply this concept to many other facets of Christianity.



This very statement goes to show you do not know that which you believe. Eye for an eye refers to how to dispense justice for those in power. Let the punishment fit the crime. This is to prevent too harsh laws like death for a loaf of bread. Please tell me how this does not relate to today. Your theology is very suspect and you are not helping your case.
 
2005-02-11 02:29:24 PM  
walkingtall:

You are scary.

You are really venturing into Mike_71 territory.

I expect the next step in this thread is for you to pity us and say that you'll be praying for our poor souls.

Holly_wight hates Christians because Christians hate people like her.

Seems reasonable to me.
 
2005-02-11 02:29:52 PM  
Not to troll here, but honestly asking, how many Christians here believe that Jesus would support W's pre-emptive war on Iraq?
 
2005-02-11 02:30:29 PM  
God has no plan to kill youngsters... that's the result of the Devil being 'god of this system of things', and tragedies like that and far greater will continue to occur until the Judgment comes.

Oh, gag me.

All bad things that happen are because some fallen angel is farking things up for God. Is that what you're telling me?

"The Judgement" hm? Tell you what- If there's anything in that worthless book that's true, I hope it's that whole "Rapture" thing, because I would dearly love it if all the Christians would just farkin' disappear.

THIS is why we don't like Christians! This whole idea that all good things are "miracales" and come from God, and all bad things are works of the devil. CAN'T YOU PEOPLE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS AND LIVES?

It's also frustrating because no matter what I say, no matter how much sense I make between my melodramatic metaphors, no matter how good a person I am, no matter how much I give to charity, no matter how much logic I present or wisdom I possess, all Christians will believe I'm wrong because I'm being "mislead by Satan" or some similar crap.

These are the same people that believe that an atheist who remains an unbeliever all their life will go to hell, even if they are the most generous, good person on the planet, while a mass murdering serial killer can repent on his deathbed, accept Jesus into his heart, and as long as he means it, he'll get the afterlife reward.

Gawd. Screw that. Any religion that takes words over actions needs to be retired.
 
2005-02-11 02:30:54 PM  
"fair is fair, and I'd say the atheists and other so-called 'rational' thinkers are making an equally poor showing with their gaping maws."

Umm, how's that fair?
 
2005-02-11 02:31:24 PM  
[image from montypythonpages.com too old to be available]
I think he said "blessed are the cheesemakers."
 
2005-02-11 02:32:08 PM  
As long as atheist-Republicans are still around, it's all good.
 
2005-02-11 02:32:54 PM  
Sorry Mel, last time I checked, the Romans (aka Catholics) killed Jesus. Kinda ironic they are lumped in with Christians, eh?

And personally, I found the movie boring.

Bring back the Lethal Weapon series. True mindless violence for the whole family.
 
2005-02-11 02:32:55 PM  
do christians believe in zombies?

I like to see the movies which feature them, but confess an affinity to the classic slow-moving variety... these new-fangled sprinters of recent cinema just don't seem dead enough!
 
2005-02-11 02:35:12 PM  
Umm, how's that fair?

Ummm, by mentioning the flaws of BOTH sides, and not just those of Xtians.
 
2005-02-11 02:35:57 PM  
WalkingCarpet

mike_71
and walkingtall are very balanced individuals....

...they have chips on both shoulders...

in point of fact, one feels that bevets could easily be the voice of reason....
 
2005-02-11 02:36:04 PM  
hax0r68
Sorry Mel, last time I checked, the Romans (aka Catholics) killed Jesus. Kinda ironic they are lumped in with Christians, eh?

So the Romans were Catholics hundreds of years before the Church was founded?


Uranus
do christians believe in zombies?

Christians are zombies.
 
2005-02-11 02:36:37 PM  
Random flamewar image:

[image from img1.vunct.net too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 02:36:55 PM  
Another religion flame war on Fark all because some christian (Mel G.) decided to become a Mohel and snip a little off a jew.
 
2005-02-11 02:40:02 PM  
Woosh. Yikes.

As an atheist I would just like to say "we" don't ALL hate or even dislike Christians.

ANY fanatical and intolerant group of people (or person), sure, "we" dislike them, but that isn't necessarily a Christian thing.

The bible is also not worthless. Neither is the Koran or the Torah or the Tao de Ching. Books that reveal the ideas and traditions of certain cultures are enlightening and fascinating. There is much to be learned by mentally devouring as many books as possible.

"We" dislike ignorance, closed minds and the zealous who annoint themselves as a god and pronounce your fate of hell.

But "we" also know that the best way to open a person's mind is not by attacking them or insulting them. Because "we" are rational and well, consider ourselves a bit more evolved than those that cling to any religious dogma for comfort and "answers" rather than be happy and content with "I don't know".

Having said that, obviously every group has their bad apples.

I will not stop talking for the "we".
 
2005-02-11 02:40:21 PM  
Sorry, LoveInAction, it was a loaded question...


...i'll put the upshot in my profile sometime....
 
2005-02-11 02:40:43 PM  
LoveInAction: /let's all agree there's already too much talk in the world

I defintely agree. Now, if all of the christians would STFU and quit spewing their dogma to those of us that don't want to hear it, we wouldn't be in this thread right now. Believe what you want. If believing in jebus gives you a warm and fuzzy sense of security and helps you sleep at night, great. Just please keep it to yourself. That is all.
 
2005-02-11 02:40:47 PM  
jeklow: As far as I know, you can't covert and become black.

But you can convert to caucasian:
Michael Jackson
O J Simpson
Bryant Gumbel
Wayne Brady (biatch)
Colin Powell
 
2005-02-11 02:40:52 PM  
2005-02-11 02:29:21 PM walkingtall

Wytchocolate

I believe in the simple premise of love your neighbor and do your best to live the life of Christ. With most everything there is an evolutionary process, including religion. The eye for an eye concept is no longer valid in this day in age. You can apply this concept to many other facets of Christianity.

This very statement goes to show you do not know that which you believe. Eye for an eye refers to how to dispense justice for those in power. Let the punishment fit the crime. This is to prevent too harsh laws like death for a loaf of bread. Please tell me how this does not relate to today. Your theology is very suspect and you are not helping your case.

If I love my neighbor and live the life of Christ, I am living my life as a Christian. Anything belief beyond this still falls under me being a Christian. It's different interpations of this belief that has spawned many different Christian religions. Perhaps I should clarify the eye for an eye concept. How bout cutting your eye out if it offends thee. You said that said you looked at pornography. Did you cut your eye out? That's my point.
 
2005-02-11 02:40:55 PM  
Uranus:

in point of fact, one feels that bevets could easily be the voice of reason....

Shhh, if you say that name three times, he may appear.
 
2005-02-11 02:44:42 PM  
Oh, gag me.

I'd venture this sort of wiry repartee wasn't gleaned from Dale Carnegie, but I digress..

All bad things that happen are because some fallen angel is farking things up for God. Is that what you're telling me?

The Bible relates the story of how the rebellious Satan is farking things up for Mankind, with the latter's help of course, being cut from the same type of prideful cloth. Judging by history's past 6000 years of Man's inability to properly govern himself, let alone others, I'd say the precept is not to be lightly dismissed.

"The Judgement" hm? Tell you what- If there's anything in that worthless book that's true, I hope it's that whole "Rapture" thing, because I would dearly love it if all the Christians would just farkin' disappear.

And yet you speak of Xtians who behave hatefully towards you? Is it any wonder that discourse such as this would make people react to you negatively? Forget about Xtian precepts for the moment, just consider the wisdom of Buddha (or was it the Tibetan Lamas?) who say simply: "Be Kind" and remain aloof from the world as the strong devour each other so that the meek can thereafter inherit the earth.
 
2005-02-11 02:45:42 PM  
Walking, my dear, you can spew your crap about me being dangerous when you've stood by the hospital bed of a friend who was dying because I beat his head in with a baseball bat. That won't happen, because I'm not out to hurt anybody. I have, though, watched a friend die because a group of loving Christians decided to show their brand of "tolerance" to us firsthand. When other Christians found out what happened, they were sympathetic- Until they learned that he was gay, and then suddenly they decided he "got what was coming to him" because he was "advertising his sick lifestyle" by walking down their city streets.

So please, take your mock fear of me, fold it in your Bible, and shove it as far up your rectum as you can until you say God's name.

Here's a hint: His name isn't Jehovah. It's "bullshiate"

Angry? Me? No. I'm not angry. Any anger you insert into your reading of my work is your own, dear. Maybe you're just so brainwashed into thinking that all us nasty bisexuals and homosexuals are evil that you're reading my posts with your angry voice. I'm stating my points rather plainly, with some colorful metaphors and happy exclamation points.

Perhaps if I threw in some smiley faces it would make my message less angry..?

Either way, so what it it were angry? Like the Christians don't use fire and brimstone to push their agenda? Why can't I be a "Fire & Brimstone Atheist"?
 
2005-02-11 02:45:49 PM  
You hate Christians because you know they do not agree with what you do. I am sorry but that is your problem.

Ummmm... no, she "hates" Christians because, as she stated in her (I think ) first entry, they tend to do very,very, hateful things to her and those around her.

I tend to agree to some extent. You don't hear about a group of gays lynching people, or dragging them behind trucsk, or beating them within an inch of their lives because they don't nail their own kind.

I suspect they'd be perfectly happy to live out their lives without having to justify or explain their lifestyle, but the religious right makes that pretty much impossible.

/A devout Holly_Wight follower
//she dyked for our sins
///was that too much???
 
2005-02-11 02:45:57 PM  
do christians believe in zombies?

Of course because Jesus was one
Who walked despite that dying done

Do you save your poems?

Of course not I'd far rather save
My turds from toilet's flushing grave
There's more worth in one small turd
Than any of my worthless words.
 
2005-02-11 02:47:44 PM  
LoveInAction

Just for the sake of clarity, do you believe the earth is no older than 6,000 years?
 
2005-02-11 02:48:09 PM  
2005-02-11 02:40:47 PM allanhowls [TotalFark]

jeklow: As far as I know, you can't covert and become black.

But you can convert to caucasian:
Michael Jackson
O J Simpson
Bryant Gumbel
Wayne Brady (biatch)
Colin Powell


I'll give you Michael Jackson. But why would you classify the others as "converting to caucasian"? Is it because black people who speak the English language properly are "sounding white" and have converted? Think before you post such nonsense.
 
F42
2005-02-11 02:48:12 PM  
walkingtall: "all men were CREATED equal". A Bible verse.


No it isn't.
Unless you can tell the book and verse, as far as I know that's a Jefferson original.
I've searched for it in the bible and I can't find it.
 
2005-02-11 02:49:38 PM  
But you can convert to caucasian:
Michael Jackson
O J Simpson
Bryant Gumbel
Wayne Brady (biatch)
Colin Powell


Don "No-Soul" Simmons.

/Too obscure?
 
2005-02-11 02:49:55 PM  
fark Gods plan - How can some of you seem to think you know what jebus would be like today, or know what old god is thinking. Then if something bad happens, like the 17 year old killed in a car crash. You explain it away as gods plan, or satan corrupting the world.

How very convenient.
 
2005-02-11 02:51:37 PM  
do christians believe in zombies?

I'm a christian, and I believe in zombies. But when the zombies start coming, I'm kicking some serious ass, Jeebus or no Jeebus. You'll find me boarding up my local Wal*Mart, killing like the Jeebus told me to do.

/not a christian
 
2005-02-11 02:51:40 PM  
...I think Genesis is pretty clear that ALL men were actually NOT created equal.

Then there's the women... sheesh. Adam was such a pussy he exiled his first wife and asked for another one.

/just sayin'
 
2005-02-11 02:52:14 PM  
AspiringPhilosopher

Man, the meek aren't going to inherit didley squat. It's a problem of motivation.

I do not equate meekness with lack of motivation. I do not think that "the meek shall inherit the earth" was the primary message in the Sermon on the Mount, either.

/shrug
 
2005-02-11 02:52:21 PM  
Peter: As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.
Bob: Outrageous, How dare he say such blasphemy. I've got to do something.
Man #1: Bob, there's nothing you can do.
Bob: Well, I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor.
 
2005-02-11 02:53:04 PM  
And let me just say that us whiteys do NOT want O.J. Simpson. Crikey. He's staying over there.
 
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