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(Abc.net.au)   Jesus Chainsaw Massacre now available with half the spatter   ( abc.net.au) divider line
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21808 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2005 at 9:12 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-02-11 01:47:10 PM  
sean007

like. This is the only tolerable form of religion. Jesus (he probably did exist)taught love and unity. And these are always useful lessons however the bible as a whole...I'm looking at you Old Testament.......is a load of horse shiat.


Jesus said himself that he came to COMPLETE the old testament, not replace it. Everything in the old testament led up to his resurrection. You have to study to understand how the pieces all fit together. The same God is in the old and new testament. There is no difference.
 
2005-02-11 01:48:05 PM  
Wytchocolate:

I am also smart enough to know that you can't take everything the bible says literally.

Why do Christians get to cherry-pick only the parts of the Bible that suit their beliefs?

This is maddening as well.

If it is the word of the Lord, you had better get to some stonin'.
 
2005-02-11 01:48:06 PM  
I am an enemy of religion: Make no mistake about that.

That's okay... even Christ could be considered organized religion's enemy... but don't let that blind you to being an enemy of things like truth and fairness.

Calling those who preach the word "flashers" and acting like they're some sort of fascist army enforcing their beliefs on others is not even close to the truth or being fair.

And judging by these FARK forums alone, it is the atheists who are more prone to hurling insults and violent words, yourself included.

So if you truly abhorred the behavior of these alleged Xtians who insinuated themselves upon your 'atheist happenings' (whatever those gatherings might entail), don't attempt to put out a fire by spreading one of your own.
 
2005-02-11 01:48:07 PM  
walkingtall,
"It is a shame you cannot see yourself as you really are. I guess none of us really wants to do that."

Wrong ol chap. I see myself for exactly what I am, nothing more. I don't have beliefs. I have facts that shape my evolved brain. I form ideas from those facts. When new facts present themselves that show my ideas to be false, I discard the idea for a new one in line with the facts.

Belief disregards fact when it is not in compliance with the belief. Therefore, I disregard all those that base their realities on belief, because they, too, should be discarded as faulty mechanisms.

LoveInAction,
"Xtians talking about the Word of God being compared to flashers?"
Actually the two are very much alike. They both cause the recipient to be forced to sense something that they may not want to experience, and both are easy to laugh at.
 
2005-02-11 01:48:22 PM  
walkingtall
Mythology is a whole nother kettle of fish. Jesus was stated as a living breathing person and the people who actually interacted with him were the ones making the claim. Not hundreds of years later after many retellings. Different concept.

Okay, how about Egyptian Pharaohs? They were real people (mind you, people who have WAY more concrete eveidence of their actual existence than does Jesus, who has almost none) and were considered deities.
 
2005-02-11 01:48:25 PM  
needs more cowbell
[image from img67.photobucket.com too old to be available]

/btw imageshack now sucks balls
 
2005-02-11 01:48:29 PM  
"Religion's just like TV--if you don't want to hear it, walk away. Let the Christians have their fun, it makes them happy. And everyone should have a chance to be happy."

I have never, in all my life, had a television show pursue me down the street, begging me to watch it.

I have never, ever, had a group of insane TV shows put my friends in the hospital simply because they were leaving a gay bar.

I have never seen a TV show kill anyone for their beliefs.

I have never heard of a TV show that, once the channel is changed, RETURNS and tries to make the viewer watch, no matter how many times they say "no."

I haven't heard of a TV show that tried to make it illegal for me to have the same rights as everyone else.

No TV show has ever shown up to a child's funeral with signs saying "God hates fags."

Dramatic? Oh, yes. Metaphors are meant to be dramatic. Are you saying that Mel's movie isn't overly-dramatic? Are you saying that Christians who come here and plead to convert people, or convince us that they're being crucified themselves are NOT being dramatic?

We're ALL being dramatic. We're all here to hammer home a point, and those of us with the words are doing it with flare. Don't begrudge me my words when Christians seem to think that a few words mean more than intentions, science, history, or decent behavior.

I'm not the one who brought the discussion to the point of melodramatic zealotry. See The Passion of the Christ for that.
 
2005-02-11 01:52:16 PM  
Wytchocolate

While I hesitate to say this I must say I have read your posts in this thread. Please explain to me your denomination and how your beliefs jive with the entire Bible and not just some picking and choosing. Everything in the Bible is about balance and trying to reconcile irreconcilable concepts. Your theology is suspect based on what you have written. There are a lot of people trying to water down Christianity to appeal to more people and you sound like one of these. The one problem with watering down is you lose the strength of the original message. Think very hard about what you do and do not believe.
 
2005-02-11 01:52:41 PM  
I think jebus was in his experimental stage and having butt sex with his 12 buddies during his teen years.

Ach! More tom-farkery (yaaaaawn). Avaunt, thou impious fool!

Actually the two are very much alike. They both cause the recipient to be forced to sense something that they may not want to experience, and both are easy to laugh at.

Actually, they're not... no moreso than things like a newspaper headline, or teacher correcting a pupil's homework assignment, might be called flashers.

But you knew that already.
 
2005-02-11 01:53:02 PM  
Why don't they even mention jesus AT ALL in his teen years??

Read 'Lamb' by Christopher Moore. It does a good job of filling in the gaps, as told by Jesus' childhood friend, Biff.
 
2005-02-11 01:53:51 PM  
GUYS


WE ARE ALL FORGETTING SOMETHING HERE
1. JESUS WAS JEWISH


2.NOBODY CARES

YAAAY
 
2005-02-11 01:54:15 PM  
I have never, ever, had a group of insane TV shows put my friends in the hospital simply because they were leaving a gay bar.

Elmo knows where you live!
 
2005-02-11 01:54:42 PM  
2005-02-11 01:44:12 PM Wytchocolate

I have done my research on the religions, in college for that matter (including shiat like Zoroastrianism). What I found were the same basic characteristics...Fear of death (afterlife consequences), Fear of yout "true" self, and Fear of the "power" that is "greater" than you. To put it bluntly, I don't believe that living in fear is productive at all; and you only need look at Muslim women wrapped from head-to-toe to understand that.

Lastly, the phrase "Divide and Conquer" always comes to mind when I hear about so many different sects of Christianity. If Christ were alive, IMHO, he'd be one pissed off guy that humans have truly made a mockery of his life in a short 2000 years. The same goes for Muhammed, Buddha, et. all.
 
2005-02-11 01:54:47 PM  
New hotness: Holly_Wight
 
2005-02-11 01:55:32 PM  
For some reason this came up on a GIS for "Bible toilet paper:"

[image from nws.noaa.gov too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 01:55:55 PM  
Holly_Wight,
"Don't begrudge me my words when Christians seem to think that a few words mean more than intentions, science, history, or decent behavior."

Are you really trying to use logic with these folks? They're not capable. Belief stops the brain from being able to produce rational thought. Just reduce yourself to hate. It's all they understand. As seen below, it's what their god taught them.

-"Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man by lying with him. But all the young girls who have not known man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."
..........Numbers 31:17
 
2005-02-11 01:57:05 PM  
nightninja76

Judaism isn't only a faith, its a race.

Thats like saying if you really belive in Dr. MLK, you'll become black.


As a Jew, i definitely agree that judaism is not only a faith. But your comparison is not a valid one. It is possible for nearly any person to convert to Judaism, and become a Jew. As far as I know, you can't covert and become black. Besides, MLK wasn't preaching blackness, he was preaching equal rights. If you believe and worship MLK, then I'm pretty sure you would believe in equal rights.

To make a better comparison, Christianity is like if a group of people worshipped MLK and then started the Black Panthers. They take the figure head, and throw out all that he believed in.
 
2005-02-11 01:57:17 PM  
2005-02-11 01:54:15 PM AspiringPhilosopher


I have never, ever, had a group of insane TV shows put my friends in the hospital simply because they were leaving a gay bar.

Elmo knows where you live!


You made me laugh out loud. Fan-tastic.
 
2005-02-11 01:57:30 PM  
I love this.... An excerpt from a letter to Dr. Laura.

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself?

How can you believe this archaic shiat?? I don't get it!
 
2005-02-11 01:58:31 PM  
LoveInAction,
A teacher correcting a student's homework doesn't fit at all, unless she's stating that the student's opinion was wrong. A newspaper headline might, if the headling was stating an opinion and not a fact.

Think more carefully.
 
2005-02-11 01:59:02 PM  
Thats like saying if you really belive in Dr. MLK, you'll become black.

Huh? ..."by the content of their character, not by the color of their skin" (paraphrased)
 
2005-02-11 01:59:55 PM  
chaoswolf:

LoveInAction,
A teacher correcting a student's homework doesn't fit at all, unless she's stating that the student's opinion was wrong. A newspaper headline might, if the headling was stating an opinion and not a fact.

Think more carefully.


The problem is he can't think clearly. He has been brainwashed by the jebus.
 
2005-02-11 02:00:33 PM  
How can you believe this archaic shiat?? I don't get it!

Religion is a crutch for a lame mind. They believe it because they are afraid to face the cold, unloving beast that is reality. They are afraid of their own mortality.
 
2005-02-11 02:01:17 PM  
Mogadore

Ha, good one.
 
2005-02-11 02:02:05 PM  
Holly_Wight

In a previous post, I somewhat dismissed the drama in your posts. I neglected to say that I have found them to be entertaining and smacking with truisms.

Thanks.
 
2005-02-11 02:02:29 PM  
"Don't begrudge me my words when Christians seem to think that a few words mean more than intentions, science, history, or decent behavior."

Sorry, but I'm a reasonable man, an average man... a father and husband, and like to consider myself a Xtian... and have known many other Xtians and an even greater share of non-Xtians in the some-odd fifty years I've walked the earth... and I begrudge these words as being a distortion of general truth in regards to the majority of Xtians I have witnessed close and at a distance, and reflect more likely upon those who have no or little respect for God.

Are you really trying to use logic with these folks? They're not capable. Belief stops the brain from being able to produce rational thought. Just reduce yourself to hate.

Do those ravings of hers truly appear as logic to you? Then, my friend, I'd venture to say YOU are the one incapable of rational thought, and a shameful proponent of hate yourself.
 
2005-02-11 02:03:04 PM  
No one intelligent really believes in the traditional god anymore, do they?
 
2005-02-11 02:03:31 PM  
Hate speech: Criticism is not hate speech, but inflammatory comments directed at a particular ethnic group, sexual orientation, religion, etc. are unacceptable.

Personal attacks made by anyone including name calling, threats, and any other form of directed attacks against other users will result in suspension of posting.

Ok, Moderator, time to do yoor job.

2005-02-11 11:12:46 AM please

"Mel Gibson releases a movie that immediately captures the hearts and minds of evangelical Christians everywhere because it so perfectly captures the suffering of their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."

Stop right there, that's the farking problem, you MORON.

Jesus's life should be remembered for what he taught and how he lived, not how he farking died. So he got crucified, whoppde-frickin-doo, so did 20 million other people. By focusing only on his death, you are dimishing all he did in his life, WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT. He came here and to give the Lord's lesson on life, not so he could spatter gore all over his followers so they could stroke off to it on DVD 2,000 years later.

2005-02-11 12:10:49 PM Mugato

Most of the Christians I know are the most un-Christian like people I know. They revel in the fact that everyone but them are going to Hell and most of them I know carry guns and can't wait for an excuse to use them.

Oh and by the way, there is no such thing as a burning Hell in the Bible, jackasses. That's something the Catholic church made up to keep people in line. People are such morons about their own jackass religions. If you claim to live your life by a book then at least read the Goddamn thing.

2005-02-11 01:43:50 PM buried_alive
Tsk, tsk! Everyone knows the credo of any good author is: "Leave 'em wanting more!"

I think jebus was in his experimental stage and having butt sex with his 12 buddies during his teen years.
 
2005-02-11 02:04:22 PM  
look everyone, can't we all just get along? athiests and christians, and whip jesus together?
 
2005-02-11 02:04:38 PM  
Driving Without Pants

Okay, how about Egyptian Pharaohs? They were real people (mind you, people who have WAY more concrete eveidence of their actual existence than does Jesus, who has almost none) and were considered deities.



Yes but if you disagreed you were killed. I do not know my ancient Egyptian history that well but I seem to remember that the deity of the pharaohs was put aside a time or two. Then it was brought back. And ALL opposition was stamped out immediately and brutally. That did not happen during early Christianity. The doubters were in power, not the Christians. Their claims were met with scoff and disbelief and the Christians were in no power to enforce their belief. All they had was truth.
 
2005-02-11 02:04:49 PM  
buried_alive,
"The problem is he can't think clearly. He has been brainwashed by the jebus."

In this case, his beliefs are wrong, but opinions can not be right or wrong.

Fact: Blue is a color.
Opinion: Blue is ugly
Belief: Blue is blue cuz god made it that way
 
2005-02-11 02:05:14 PM  
lovehate
no one likes a hallmonitor.
 
2005-02-11 02:05:23 PM  
Jeesh, and all this time I thought simply being a good person was enough. Silly me.

I do love to see all the "ladies" on Sunday wearing their Jesus Bling. God seems to only like Cadillacs, polyester dresses and 5 layers of make-up around here.
 
2005-02-11 02:05:48 PM  
Think more carefully.

Ironic advice indeed, coming from one who would compare talking about Christ to being a flasher.

Physician, heal thyself.
 
2005-02-11 02:06:37 PM  
Man, all these kilobytes suffering for the discussion of a nonexistant metaphor. Tsk, tsk.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the kilobytes???
 
2005-02-11 02:07:00 PM  
2005-02-11 01:48:29 PM Holly_Wight [TotalFark]

Sweetheart, you're watching the wrong TV.

Kidding--my ex-wife's step-brother was killed in a car wreck. Her mother's reaction was to insist that we could bring him back to life if we laid hands on him and prayed.

She also said that God had a plan, and took him because it was part of that plan. I told her the God I believed in didn't kill 17 year old kids in their cars. Her response was that I should never doubt the power of God. "The power of God to kill your brother?" was my response. Hilarity did NOT ensure.

Had to get outof that family...
 
2005-02-11 02:07:17 PM  
Dano64CC
No one intelligent really believes in the traditional god anymore, do they?

No.
 
2005-02-11 02:08:12 PM  
The problem is he can't think clearly. He has been brainwashed by the jebus.

Ordinarily I would venture that my posts evinced a considerable degree more the ability to think clearly than this little bon mot of yours, but I'll let wiser heads than mine decide the truth of the matter.
 
2005-02-11 02:08:21 PM  
::blushes::

Aww... Golly, I'm not the new hotness. Thanks, though.

I'm just a cute dyke with a keyboard and a hard-on for defending myself against people who would see me wiped off the face of the Earth, if they had anything to say about it.

You want to see what the devil would really look like, were he real? Look no further than Pat Robertson. That man is the most hateful, bigoted, deceitful, rotten human being I have ever laid eyes on. If you aren't a Christian, he hates you. If you are a homosexual (or bisexual, or transsexual, or anything else) he hates you. If you aren't part of God's army, he hates you. If you don't believe what he says, he hates you.

Now, he has the right to hate whoever he wants. The problem with Pat Robertson is that he has a TV show and he tells everybody else to hate those same people. He's a hate-monger; probably one of the worst since the big "H" in the 1940's. His entire empire is built upon fear, hatred, bigotry, and zealotry. He counts on ignorance, preys on stupidity, and loathes freedom.

He's not as bad as it gets, though. I've met Christians in Grand Rapids, Michigan who were vile, smug, self-serving cretins that would just as soon see me destroyed as "saved" simply because I was a lesbian/bisexual and because I was an "uppity woman." You want to see a farked-up cult full of obnoxious, blinded people? Join Amway.

But hey- Since I get a few kudos, I'll announce my own religion: The Church of FK.

Well... Maybe not exactly "FK", but you get the drift.
 
2005-02-11 02:12:44 PM  
2005-02-11 02:08:21 PM Holly_Wight [TotalFark]

::blushes::

Aww... Golly, I'm not the new hotness. Thanks, though.

I'm just a cute dyke with a keyboard and a hard-on


Useless. Without. Pics.

Although they may be scary. I've never seen a dyke with a hard on.
 
2005-02-11 02:13:12 PM  
no one likes a hallmonitor.

Damn it.

Teen Jesus was a know-it -all
Teacher's pet monitor of hall

He always had the perfect answer
And with tap was quite the dancer
If fact right now in Heaven Jesus
Through holes in his feet he sees us
While Jesus does the old soft shoe
He keeps an eye on me and you.
 
2005-02-11 02:13:29 PM  
Holly_Wight: Yes. Rape. Christian proselytizing is like rape to me.

(Deep End)
|
|
|
|
|
|
V
*you are here

I'm an atheist, and even I think that's silly
 
2005-02-11 02:13:47 PM  
I told her the God I believed in didn't kill 17 year old kids in their cars.

As hard as it may seem to believe, that's the same God in which I put my faith and service. His name is Jehovah, and His son is Jesus Christ.

God has no plan to kill youngsters... that's the result of the Devil being 'god of this system of things', and tragedies like that and far greater will continue to occur until the Judgment comes.
 
2005-02-11 02:14:29 PM  
walking tall

Mythology is a whole nother kettle of fish.

How? Because we no longer believe it? The ancient Greeks certainly believed in their mythology.

Jesus was stated as a living breathing person and the people who actually interacted with him were the ones making the claim. Not hundreds of years later after many retellings. Different concept.

We only know about the people interacting with them because they told people who told other people who eventually wrote it down. It is 2000 years later. There are many versions of the New Testament now. We have absoleutly no idea what the original story looked like. Buddhism suffers from the same problem. At least Buddha's followers didn't claim the impossible since all it attains is in the mind, not physical.

/not Buddhist
 
2005-02-11 02:14:35 PM  
lovehate:

Ok, Moderator, time to do yoor job.

Come on, only big babies go cry to moderators.

Holly_Wight:

Just messing with you. You make some very vaild points that I wholeheartedly agree with which makes you the new hotness in my book.

And my wife would agree ;)
 
2005-02-11 02:16:55 PM  
walkingtall
Yes but if you disagreed you were killed. I do not know my ancient Egyptian history that well but I seem to remember that the deity of the pharaohs was put aside a time or two. Then it was brought back. And ALL opposition was stamped out immediately and brutally. That did not happen during early Christianity. The doubters were in power, not the Christians. Their claims were met with scoff and disbelief and the Christians were in no power to enforce their belief. All they had was truth.

1) While it's true that non-believers were dealt with harshly in ancient Egypt, the simple fact of the matter is that most people in Egypt DID believe in the divinity of their Pharaohs, wllingly. It was part of their culture stretching back thousands of years. It was as natural for them to believe it as it is for you to believe in the divinity of Jesus.

2) As soon as the Christians were in power, they brutally and systematically wiped out every native belief system in Western Europe, either by co-opting their beliefs or simply killing their adherents. Where was the "self-evident power of the truth" then?
 
2005-02-11 02:18:17 PM  
2005-02-11 02:13:47 PM LoveInAction

God has no plan to kill youngsters... that's the result of the Devil being 'god of this system of things', and tragedies like that and far greater will continue to occur until the Judgment comes.


Does he have a plan to deal with people who bastardize his Word? And if he does, can he implement it now?

I realize that means that most fundie-Republicans will be gone, but that's not a bad thing, is it?

/Bush is not a good Christian
//this should have turned into a bush-bashing thread hours ago
 
2005-02-11 02:18:38 PM  
Now you guys have done it... you've broken Fark.
 
2005-02-11 02:19:05 PM  
I bow to YOU, Holly Wight! At least you're real......aren't you?
 
2005-02-11 02:19:49 PM  
I think it is possible to accept and embrace Jesus's message and still be undecided on the divinity and divine aspects of it.

The Sermon on the Monut is sound philosphy I agree with for the most part.

I think a lot of self described Christians do Christianity and Jesus's lessons a dis-service by opening their cakeholes.

/justsayin
 
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