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(FarkMan)   FarkMan #4 is out   ( farkman.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
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4569 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2002 at 8:00 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

125 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2002-03-11 08:01:24 AM  
Total crap. I haven't watched it yet, I just know.
2002-03-11 08:04:20 AM  
Worst flash ever!

2002-03-11 08:05:48 AM  
Wheaton drooling over boobies was funny. The rest of it is the usual FarkMan craptastic experience. Make it stop.
2002-03-11 08:06:20 AM  
Uhh...am I the only one that notices the bad image link?
2002-03-11 08:07:02 AM  
Was the penguin masturbating?

We need more masturbation.
2002-03-11 08:07:20 AM  
I love farkman.
I want to have a million of his babies.
Assuming I could have babies of course.
2002-03-11 08:07:45 AM  

Yup. You are. I thought it was the cold Kentucky rain. Or something else Elvis related.......... fark, I'm drunk.
2002-03-11 08:07:50 AM  
Farkman should do battle with the evil people of somethingawful.com.
2002-03-11 08:09:09 AM  

In all seriousness it is pretty boring and unfunny. On a positive note though, the animation kicks ass. Your skills would be better fit for another type of project. Farkman may have seemed like a good idea when in the discussion phase it has prove to pretty much suck and put me to sleep.
2002-03-11 08:09:15 AM  
I dunno, EvilWil(tm) is pretty good. I loved The Boobies Song. =D

About the only thing in these that bugs me is the women's voices (Farkgirl and Gratuity Girl). They sound kinda forced and "read" to me, if you know what I mean. It sounds like they're just reading their lines to get them over with as soon as possible. No offense intended if you ladies are out there, just calling it how I see it.
2002-03-11 08:09:34 AM  
i may be a fan of the obvious but i want Farkman to nail those girls.
2002-03-11 08:09:55 AM  
Oh oh! I have an idea. Farkman should take himself behind the shed and blow his brains out, ending this sad saga once and for all!
2002-03-11 08:11:20 AM  
2002-03-11 08:13:02 AM  
the evil peta guy has to have some kind of control over the cats...maybe they turn against the three heroes, and farkman can sit it out while we watch a cat vs pussy fight.

(very evil grin)

2002-03-11 08:18:43 AM  
The rescued Cliche Kitty turns out to be an evil clone. With DNA mixed with Nutsack Squirrel and the testicles to prove it.
2002-03-11 08:18:50 AM  
1. Cliche Kitty enjoys licking dead bird carcasses.
2. Chickens are birds.
3. The PETA Chicken. 'Nuff said.
2002-03-11 08:19:42 AM  
I suggest that once the evil doing has been stoppped in this frame, Farkman asks what time it is. One of the characters then looks at their watch and with a close up shot, we see it's the prime number shiatting bear, pooping out numbers as usual. Then, that person looks back to Farkman and says something like, "I don't know, this watch is full of crap".

Or something.
2002-03-11 08:30:16 AM  
I think Fb- should be introduced as one of EvilWil's bootlicking sycophants, and FarkMan should crush Fb- between his ass cheeks. Hilarity ensues.
2002-03-11 08:31:01 AM  
I like farkman. so keep em coming!
2002-03-11 08:33:52 AM  
Re: Farkmobile, I suggest you check out http://www.amcpacer.com
2002-03-11 08:36:48 AM  
Fb- and Porkgod join forces to destroy Farkman AND wipe out Evil Wil. Then this entire fiasco will be over with!
2002-03-11 08:37:22 AM  
Farkman goes to capture Evil Wheaton, but Evil Wheaton beams out. Wheaton accidently beams to a 'Star Tweek' convention where he's pummeled by geeks who mistake him for the hated character Wesley Farker. Willie Farking shiatner laughs so hard his toupe falls off.

Meanwhile Farkman adopts PETA headquarters as his new base, which is destroyed yet again.
2002-03-11 08:43:37 AM  
Entertaining, yet still lacking that one aspect all great cinema has: Ninjas. This is a cry far and wide to put Ninjas in Farkman! (Not that way, I ment in the flash movie)

Vote if you love Ninjas!
2002-03-11 08:44:08 AM  
fb-, porkgod, and other similar naysayers have every consitutional right to hate my soul and my weekly brain-bleeding efforts that come from it, and furthermore, to come in here every week and purport that hate.

Be it known that I won't be picking any ideas that depict their personas in any way. They're my own personal terrorists; so glorifying them in my toons isn't exactly what I want to spend time doing.

Just typing this is too much effort. I'm sure reading it was.

Just go watch the free funnies, and come on back here and complain about 'em, or maybe think of an idea for the next one.

And watch them keep on coming, every week, relentlessly, defying any mental or physical efforts otherwise my both the suffering bastard animator and his various jerkwad floggers.

Suck my justice.
2002-03-11 08:45:27 AM  
Evil Wil Wheaton will be all clawed up from cliche kitty, he will vow to get back farkman (In the classic evil guy way). Farkman will head to his local used car dealer, headed by a sleazy guy who tries to sell farkman an old POS. Farkman turns the car into a biatchin ride, and then fights domo kun.
2002-03-11 08:47:04 AM  
Farkman goes shopping for the Farkmobile. Christopher Walken is the used superhero car salesman.
2002-03-11 08:48:36 AM  
Love it, Rabbit!
2002-03-11 08:49:14 AM  
Farkmobile=Pinto, or maybe the Spaceball Winebago......
2002-03-11 08:52:50 AM  
Farkman gets a pimped-out Cadi....

...then goes on that 14 pannel drinking binge I discussed from last week, due to the fact that we discovered 1 pint floored him.
2002-03-11 08:54:06 AM  
1. Gratuity Girl and Farkgirl congratulate Farkman on saving his sidekick.
2. They are amazed at the size of his "Hero" status and want to see more.
3. Just as the three of them are starting to do the nasty, Evil Wil returns. His face is covered in scars.
4. Evil Wil grabs Gratuity Girl and runs away chanting boobies as he flees.
2002-03-11 09:04:29 AM  
Is it still cool and popular to think Farkman is funny?
2002-03-11 09:09:25 AM  
Hahaha! I just love Nutsack Squirrl. WEEEEEEEE! He should get his own spinoff series. WEEEEEEE!
2002-03-11 09:12:37 AM  
Correction... as always... the Wil Wheaton and PETA thingy was pretty funny... Farkman (even with those booby girls with the lazy eyes) remains unfunny...

I'd say make a cartoon with Wil Wheaton trying to take over the world with PETA, and work with that.. thats pretty original...

Maybe a little pinky and the brain-ish.

Oh well.. that Boobies song was pretty amusing.
2002-03-11 09:13:43 AM  
whats with giving the story away *before* the animation???
2002-03-11 09:14:06 AM  
nice work tho!
2002-03-11 09:26:14 AM  
Farkman gets Farkmobile ...it looks like a 1970 "pimp mobile". witha "Diamond in the back " a la Super-fly. Goes to Vegas-
2002-03-11 09:48:14 AM  
It turns out fb-'s father was behind the whole thing.
2002-03-11 10:02:14 AM  
I think farkman should take on the EVIL moderators at fark chat next!!!!
2002-03-11 10:08:00 AM  
The Fembots come in - (Chick characters from ST; Troi, Doc Crusher, 7of9...) and start battling GG and Farkgirl while
Farkman blunders by picking up Evil Wil and throwing him to saftey as Dumo-kum pops up and destroys the PeTA fortress, we get to see Herve Dog get burnt to death in the flaming lava as the heros narrowly escape (thanks to Cliche Kitty - not Farkman) Oh... get the Bobbies to show up after it's over like real cops do. If you do use Walken as the car salesman - make sure he pulls the keys out and says "I carried this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for 8 years....." (My favorite line from Pulp fiction)
2002-03-11 10:24:00 AM  
Entertaining, yet still lacking that one aspect all great cinema has: Ninjas.

The job of Ninjas is to freak out and kill people. Simple fact...

Christopher Walken has my vote!
2002-03-11 10:35:10 AM  
The consensus still appears to be down on poor 'ol Farkman, but I think the writing is finally showing promise. I mean, you could have worse one-liners than:

"I'm going to bloody my fists with your face-meats"

"I feel dirty just being alive right now"

"It looks like a retarded linebacker in blue tights has just entered PETA airspace"

Hmmm. Seeing them in print, I'm actually having trouble coming up with worse lines now . . . But the whole "face-meats thing is still awesome".
2002-03-11 10:35:29 AM  
Farkman gets breast implants, shows us his boobs, drinks a gallon of bleach and is never heard from again.
2002-03-11 10:41:53 AM  
Cool, but why didn't the penguin kick Wil in the balls? WHY, OH WHY?! :D
2002-03-11 10:47:04 AM  
This is like watching a buncha 5 year olds play make believe.
2002-03-11 10:49:54 AM  
nice work.
2002-03-11 11:11:06 AM  
Three words: MIDGETS, MONKEYS, and 'TARDS. 'nuff said...
2002-03-11 11:13:02 AM  
Yeah! I think the moderators should take on Farkman, and we delete cliche kitty or something. Then Farkman complains to Drew, and Drew undeletes him.
2002-03-11 11:16:27 AM  
Evil will seeks support and a hug from "supergay". Super gay uses the opportunity to once again try to score with will.

Farkman and kitty seek for a farkmobile. Maybe the truck from Buckaroo Bonzai.

Gratuitis girl and farkgirl find each other "attractive"...
2002-03-11 11:19:15 AM  
Farkman is lame.
2002-03-11 11:24:15 AM  
Just one idea, Family Circus and Marmaduke vs. Farkman, and for once I am rooting for Marmaduke.
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