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(Reuters)   Hollywood is out of ideas: New Line Cinema to re-make The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with less violence and blood   ( reuters.com) divider line
    More: Asinine  
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2402 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2002 at 9:52 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-03-07 09:56:15 AM  
Post preceding second.
2002-03-07 09:56:32 AM  
...sad, but they have been outta ideas for years.
2002-03-07 09:56:39 AM  
2002-03-07 09:57:41 AM  
starring Dubya, as "The Mad Governor/Executioner."

and voice-over narration by John Larroquette. (He's still working, right?)
2002-03-07 09:57:57 AM  
Good. The first one was a disgusting orgy of filth and degradation.

I'm just off to the toilet. Back in 5.
2002-03-07 09:58:06 AM  
Post modern = pile of shiat lit on fire and shiat upon
2002-03-07 09:58:09 AM  
Hollywood out of ideas? Should have obvious tag.
2002-03-07 09:58:25 AM  
Jeez Louise, you don't mess with success.
2002-03-07 09:58:38 AM  
will "hollywood is out of ideas" precede every headline about a movie now?
2002-03-07 09:59:01 AM  
Hollywood has been idea-bankrupt for a loooooooong time.
2002-03-07 09:59:15 AM  
The original didn't have much blood to begin with. It was just so visceral that everyone thought it had more blood than it did.

Anyway, didn't they already do this with Matthew Maconaghy (sp, but who cares) and Renee Zellattractive and successful Caucasian-American (again, I don't read marquees much)?
2002-03-07 10:00:51 AM  
Bent Wookie

hahaha... thats definitely the funniest mispelling of matthew whatever's name ive seen yet..
2002-03-07 10:01:23 AM  
Less violence? I just saw the original recently, and it's not that violent to begin with in comparison to other slasher flicks out there. How much less violent can they make it?!?!
2002-03-07 10:01:25 AM  
I have an idea. It's about a country that elects a semi-retarded country bumpkin as it's president and the hilarity that ensues.
2002-03-07 10:02:09 AM  
The movie with naked stoned bongo guy and Zellwigger was a sequel, not a 'post modern re-imagining'
2002-03-07 10:03:08 AM  
1) What else can we offer for Michael Bay to fark up? How about my soul? Why not give him one of the Police Academy movies to play with? Cripes this sucks.
2002-03-07 10:03:15 AM  
So it will not only be uncreative, but bland, too.
2002-03-07 10:03:38 AM  
Yea, Bent Wookie, for being called the fater of all B-grade slasher flicks there is a very small amount of blood. What does make the movie so good is the insanity that follows everything until leatherface dances with his chainsaw in the sunset. I can't think of a much more disturbing image in any movie.....well except for grandpa perhaps....that was just beyond odd....

If you want to see a great B movie with a TON of blood and boobies, see Terror Firmer
it's from TROMA, of course
2002-03-07 10:04:54 AM  
I want a remake of A Clockwork Orange.
With more Ultraviolence and Moloco-plus.
2002-03-07 10:07:03 AM  
[image from moviestarnews.com too old to be available]
2002-03-07 10:07:15 AM  
Sort of like remaking the Top Gun without any planes isn't. Sure it can be done, but why?
2002-03-07 10:08:58 AM  
trully "asinine".
2002-03-07 10:09:03 AM  
Evil Dead 2 = B movies at their best.
2002-03-07 10:09:17 AM  
All articles about movies will say hollywood is out of Ideas until Hollywood gets some farking new Ideas.
2002-03-07 10:11:26 AM  

That is a brilliant piece of logic. Did you come up with it?
2002-03-07 10:15:17 AM  
Just stating the obvious for those too blind to see it. See 03-07-02 09:58:38 AM BaconFarker
2002-03-07 10:18:32 AM  
first one didnt have much blood
2002-03-07 10:32:46 AM  
I'm still waiting for a remake of Basic Instinct without all those sex scenes.
2002-03-07 10:37:01 AM  
Left Testicle: That's called a tautology - a statement that's unconditionally true. Kind of like (A = A) or (A & -A). "It's either raining, or it's not."
2002-03-07 10:40:48 AM  
I heard Tobe Hooper was all for it. THIS deeply saddens me more than anything. Lets hope he gets TOTAL control over the remake... :^(
2002-03-07 10:40:58 AM  
The first had a very minimal level of blood/gore/violence it was just all done in a very full-on way. There was no doubt huge amounts of people being killed in Pearl Harbour and The Rock so Bay trying to tone down a movie that was originally aiming for a PG rating with the justification that he's supposedly anti-violence is beyond hypocrisy.

And what's this bullshiat about ignoring the movie and going back to the story it was based on? Why call it Texas Chainsaw Massacre when you could as easily claim this to be a remake of Psycho; Beyond the Darkness; Deranged - Confessions of a Necrophile; Ed Gein etc.
2002-03-07 10:43:25 AM  
Hollywood exec: "Yeah, that Hitchcock guy was a hack. We can definitely do Psycho better."

Exec #2: "Get Lorne Michaels on the phone! He really knows his stuff when it comes to making great movies!"

Exec #3: "I just scored the rights to "My Mother the Car!" We'll have it ready by summer!"

Exec #4: "Is Shatner still around?"
2002-03-07 10:44:25 AM  
Well, I read the article and Micheal Bay is producing it....

There is no God

I wonder who play Leatherface and who will be his love interest?
2002-03-07 10:47:12 AM  
Errrr, I may be missing something here. But the words "Chainsaw" and "massacre" imply a lot of campy b-style slashing, gashing, and gushing rivers of blood. That's the style the movie was made for, and toning it down only further obscures the fun of it. It doesn't make it "safer", just more vague.
2002-03-07 10:50:29 AM  
Hollywood may be out of ideas....but some great movies are still being made, like Memento, In the Bedroom, Ghost World, Every Coen Brothers film...as for the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, that is HORRIBLE....would be like saying "lets remake Army of Darkness without the one-liners".
2002-03-07 10:57:11 AM  
Like an "R" rated John Holmes movie, eh?
2002-03-07 10:58:03 AM  
...blood-letting will be kept to a minimum, particularly since producer Michael Bay is active on a director committee against violence.

Then why the hell is he producing a remake of a movie called CHAINSAW MASSACRE?
2002-03-07 11:08:54 AM  
coming soon to a theatre near you:
The Texas Chainsaw Massager
2002-03-07 11:11:20 AM  
Fark.com is out of ideas: every damn movie/TV post begins with "Hollywood is out of ideas:"
2002-03-07 11:19:16 AM  
I will let my review of Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre speak for itself.

My comment is by jazzmegood(sylva, nc)
2002-03-07 11:34:19 AM  
welcome to pussy america... where everything offensive
2002-03-07 12:00:48 PM  
I want remakes of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Movie , and Amazon Women on the Moon
2002-03-07 12:01:24 PM  
American movies are becoming like Ancient Greek drama, where the audience already knows what happens but hopes(vainly, in this case) that the playwright can present it interestingly.
2002-03-07 12:10:36 PM  

Hollywood to remake TITANIC with out a ship!
2002-03-07 12:38:19 PM  
The first one was made in Austin by some students at UT with a borrowed camera, a couple hundred bucks, and a few cases of beer. Now there are quite a few good film makers here. This movie, no matter what your opinion of it is, did start an Austin film scene that is just now taking off. Ron Howard payed to put a new THX sound system in an old cool theater here for the national premier of Ed TV. The movie wasn't that great but it was cool to have a movie premier somewhere other than LA.
2002-03-07 12:44:34 PM  
Skinink: I just want to see the full-length feature "A Fistful of Yen". That would really be a film of extra-ordinary magnitude.
2002-03-07 12:45:44 PM  
How do they remake Texas Chainsaw Massacre with LESS blood and violence? You're average run of the mill teen horror movie has more blood and gore than the original. For its time, maybe it was really over the top, but today it's tame in comparison.

Besides, it wasn't that good a movie to begin with. People are just afraid to admit it because someone "important" at some time told them it was a classic.

Finally, I heard that cheesedick Michael Bay is also trying to ban movies that have any semblence of a plot.
2002-03-07 12:59:44 PM  
Protest with your wallets, people.
2002-03-07 01:09:14 PM  
Barbarella, now there's a whore film.

What? Horror? I thought you said whore. Nevermind.
2002-03-07 01:12:32 PM  
E-Sensei: Which theater is that?
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