Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Boston Herald)   Women complaining about naked Boston Globe editor showing up at their door, masturbating. The fact that this story is featured in the Globe's sole competitor is pure coincidence   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

18930 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2005 at 3:00 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

91 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2005-01-11 11:57:59 AM  
If that's not true, it's still pretty farking funny.
2005-01-11 12:01:18 PM  
I call liberal media conspiracy!

/someone would
2005-01-11 12:02:48 PM  
someone run a spell check on that headline
2005-01-11 12:07:58 PM  
What's masterbating? I masturbated this morning, but I'm not sure what this whole masterbating thing is.
2005-01-11 12:12:21 PM  

It's when you use your non-dominant hand, duh ;-)
2005-01-11 12:12:46 PM  
question_dj: What's masterbating?

That's what you do to a fish hook when you're one of the best.

/oh wait, that's master baiting, never mind.
2005-01-11 12:15:42 PM  
question_dj: I'm not sure what this whole masterbating thing is.

It's when you are the best at arguing your position in a dialog. Oh wait, that's master debating.
2005-01-11 12:17:54 PM  
``...he was sitting in a chair in plain view steering (sic) at them masturbating,'' the police report says.

That cop has one hell of a Boston accent to make it into text like that. Well, maybe he was dictating.
2005-01-11 12:43:11 PM  

question_dj: What's masterbating?

That's what you do to a fish hook when you're one of the best.

It's not supposed to look like that. See a doctor.
2005-01-11 12:44:54 PM  
The fact that this story is featured on the Globe's sole competitor is pure coincidence

I don't get the sarcasm. If you're saying that it's planted by the competitiion to be a smear-ish article, that's bogus because the dude was arrested.

As to why the guy's own employer is not reporting on the arrest, well it may not be because it's their editor, they might need extra time to get story by HR, etc. I'm sure it will break eventually.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2005-01-11 01:23:10 PM  
This story appeared in the "Inside Track" section, which is an fluffy entertainment news section with the occasional bit of scanadlous gossip about unnamed local celebtries. The Globe might have failed to report it because they consider it beneath their dignity. Or because they are often beaten by the Herald on local news.
2005-01-11 03:07:43 PM  
I think the best part is their image of the editor for the Globe.

[image from too old to be available]

Sorry, but that just screams "child molestor mugshot".
2005-01-11 03:08:01 PM  
Nervous breakdown.

Did you see that look in his eyes?

Looked like a deer masturbating in the headlights.
2005-01-11 03:08:06 PM  
I've got to get me a paper route.
2005-01-11 03:08:28 PM  

If it were a Herald editor the Globe would have run with the story. Probably front page stuff.
2005-01-11 03:09:42 PM  


Go Sox.
2005-01-11 03:09:54 PM  
"I just say...I rub you!"

/One ticket, window seat
2005-01-11 03:10:15 PM  
You know, these women are pretty unreasonable, normally women are swept off thier feet when a sexy mature man decides to share himself like he did...

SFOTW - That was funny...
2005-01-11 03:10:18 PM  
Whew don't they have spell checkers at the Herald? I think they're called editors. If the article is true one may be looking for a position soon.
2005-01-11 03:10:19 PM  
/Not obscure at all.
[image from too old to be available]
2005-01-11 03:11:08 PM  
"A source close to the matter said Marquard will contend that the women made up the stories in retaliation after a neighborhood dispute."

Must be one hell of a "dispute" ...

Woman: "Quit fapping outside my door!"

Marquard: *fap* "N-n-n-n-o-o!" *fap*

Woman: "Okay, but at least put on some clothes!"

Marquard: *fap* "O-o-o-h!" *fap*
2005-01-11 03:12:27 PM  
They follow the story with a cutesy little blurb about Paul Pierce's engagement to his "loooongtime girlfriend." That's top-notch journalism.
2005-01-11 03:13:24 PM  
Sooo... Boston has exactly two newspapers, and these are the only newsources, is that what the submitter is saying? When you say something that can't possibly be true, its either funny or pathetic. Guess which one wins this time.
2005-01-11 03:14:34 PM  
they noticed that the suspect's door was open and he was sitting in a chair in plain view steering (sic) at them masturbating

why is it ok for them to masturbate in front of him, but when he does it he gets arrested?

/"staring at them, masturbating" ?
//commas are your friends
2005-01-11 03:14:52 PM  
No nudes is good nudes?

2005-01-11 03:15:28 PM  
Actually, they term Pierce's fiancee as his "looooongtime galpal." If they could transcribe little "honks" and "whizbangs" into the story, I think they would.
2005-01-11 03:16:39 PM  
Come 'n' knock on my door


Knock on my door 'n' come?

/Three is Company, too
2005-01-11 03:18:19 PM  
Boring Broadsheet?
2005-01-11 03:19:15 PM  
a married deputy city editor

married = guilty.
2005-01-11 03:19:26 PM  
Its when two people cant agree on the answer to an arithmatic problem.

/math debating

2005-01-11 03:20:17 PM  
"Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name."
2005-01-11 03:20:28 PM  
Knock and come on my door...
2005-01-11 03:22:14 PM  
What kind of crappy rag is the Boston Herald? What's with these "don't you hate it when that happens" and "Boring Broadsheet" cracks? What happened to objectivity and professionalism?
2005-01-11 03:22:27 PM  
Kinda like ABC having a 5 minute segment on the "reporting irregularities" in the oft-called "Rathergate" at CBS News last night?
2005-01-11 03:23:34 PM  
There's a radio station in the Boston area whose morning show occasionally plays a game called "It must be true! I read it in the Herald!" in which they read off four headlines and ask a caller to guess which two actually appeared in the Herald.

Draw your own conclusions.

- HC
2005-01-11 03:25:20 PM  
I always wondered what became of Cliffy's younger brother..
2005-01-11 03:25:39 PM  
I b-bit my wrist so I c-can diiiieeee!
S-ee how it bleeeeeeeeds?
2005-01-11 03:25:43 PM  
If it's not true, dude's got a hell of a lawsuit.
2005-01-11 03:26:02 PM  
The Globe may be a boring broadsheet (not), but the Herald is a tabloid akin to the New York Post. This article does not surprise me at all. And the guy was arrested--not convicted.
2005-01-11 03:26:15 PM  
Pages A-11 and A-12 of my Globe were stuck together this morning... Coincindence, I think not!
2005-01-11 03:26:18 PM  
The Herald is such a shiatty rag... Sometimes I read it on the train (only when a previous rider has left a copy behind) and I'm usually disgusted. And everyone knows that the Globe has no biases.

/i know the globe has biases. shut up
//but at least their writing is decent
///and everyone knows that the real news comes from Fark
2005-01-11 03:30:25 PM  
Kinda UncleBuckish looking.
2005-01-11 03:32:18 PM  
No nudes is good nudes?

Funniest joke I ever heard on The Muppet Show: a Woldorf and Statler exchange.

"Hey, Woldorf, what do you think about nudity?"

"Well, personally, it's always left me cold."
2005-01-11 03:34:48 PM  
"The women said it was the second time the Globie had put on a peep show for them."

Only Fox News could be more Fair and Balanced.

2005-01-11 03:35:52 PM  
Both of those newspapers suck, I love it when they are in a fued, which looks to be the case.
2005-01-11 03:38:41 PM  
Here's the thing between the two papers. The Herald is owned by the NY Post, The Globe is owned by The New York Times. One is an inch away from tabloid (right wing at that); the other is liberalism X2. It isn't liberal vs. conservative though, The Globe will probably go 180 on any issue that The Herald holds just to be opposite. Unfortunately good journalism gets killed in the crossfire.
2005-01-11 03:41:38 PM  
This article is hard to beat; and, I'm sure the court case will be a tough nut to crack. The defense will really have their hands full.
2005-01-11 03:44:05 PM  
In fact there are about 3 things both papers can 100% agree on.

1. Sox winning the World Series was fantastic.

2. The Big Dig has taken far to long.

3. Mayor Mumbles needs to talk clearer.
2005-01-11 03:48:04 PM  
I've seen better writing in the National Enquirer.
2005-01-11 03:48:11 PM  
The article is by Gayle Fee and Laura Raposa: two well known harridans with allegedly fat asses.
Displayed 50 of 91 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.