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(NY Daily News)   Britney Spears hires a new manager to make her husband Cletus into a hip-hop star   ( nydailynews.com) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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26587 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2005 at 2:42 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

127 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-01-05 01:40:16 PM  
2005-01-05 02:06:29 PM  
It would be farking hilarious to hear and see Kevin Federline rap. Please, let this happen.
2005-01-05 02:10:56 PM  
Thank you, God. I was just this morning praying for another rapper in the world.
2005-01-05 02:30:47 PM  
Quick, someone PS him into the Icy Hot Stuntaz.
2005-01-05 02:32:32 PM  
You could combine the DNA of Col. Tom Parker, Brian Eno, Mutt Lange, Quincy Jones and George Martin to create a producer/manager for this guy, and the music would still sound like a monkey getting 12 pounds of rusty tuna can lids shoved up his urethra.

I think we need to expand the Patriot Act to include the following line: All purchases at music stores will be examined -- if anyone purchases the "Kevin Federline" album, they are subject to immediate painful execution.
2005-01-05 02:35:28 PM  
PS him into Icy Hot Stuntaz? I thought he was from the Icy Hot Stuntaz.
2005-01-05 02:42:32 PM  
*golf clap* for the headline.
2005-01-05 02:45:10 PM  
HAHAHAHAHA, man is she ever a redneck.
2005-01-05 02:45:55 PM  
Can you say...

[image from thinksmart.typepad.com too old to be available]
2005-01-05 02:45:59 PM  
HAHAHHA, best headline in ages!!!
2005-01-05 02:47:01 PM  
Well, could he possibly be any worse than the current crop of hip-hop stars?
2005-01-05 02:47:03 PM  
And gues who will be next year's Orange Bowl half-time show headliner!
2005-01-05 02:47:10 PM  
Apparently the "Spears Federline's" don't have that little voice in the back of their heads that tell other people when enough is enough.
2005-01-05 02:48:23 PM  
Does this mean he will die in a hail of bullets now?

Apparently getting shot has a lot to do with popularity
2005-01-05 02:48:36 PM  
Anyone else trying to GIS for "Kevin Federline" and getting zilch? That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?
2005-01-05 02:48:44 PM  
"Kevin was bragging to people that when the deal goes down, he's going to hire all his friends to work for him. Because he has money now that he's splitting the line with Brit."

As dumb as this Federline character is (read: dumb) it doesn't appear that he's stupid.
2005-01-05 02:49:33 PM  
I guess he'll have to be the mega-money maker, since whore Britney will be studying to be a CSI, right?
2005-01-05 02:49:36 PM  
"He's no Vanilla Ice!"

Um, that would be a positive.

2005-01-05 02:49:45 PM  
[image from exo.com too old to be available]

Finally this guy will have some competition.
2005-01-05 02:50:42 PM  
His new rapper name? Wyte Traz
2005-01-05 02:51:00 PM  
"she says he can flow..."

Imagining that trashy, little white girl saying this phrase has given me the diarrhea.

/happier to sit in my own filth than hear Federline rap
2005-01-05 02:52:05 PM  
I keep having thoughts of "Vanilla Sherbet" from "Fear of a Black Hat" whenever I think of K-Fed trying to rap.
2005-01-05 02:52:48 PM  
he already has the "Hip Hop Star" starter kit...

it came with a sideways hat n all...
2005-01-05 02:53:04 PM  
As dumb as this Federline character is (read: dumb) it doesn't appear that he's stupid.

I don't know if you were being sarcastic or not, but um... hiring his 'friends' instead of professionals to manage him is just insanely stupid. The wouldn't have the foggiest farking clue how to manage him.
2005-01-05 02:53:46 PM  
The sad thing is that if this works out he will probably make more money than I will ever see in my life. The formula is already laid out by every boy band/pop star, have someone write a catchy beat and chorus, then go on TRL and grace the cover of every Teen Beat magazine with headlines like "Brits husband is teh hunk".

I should have married a hot rich girl.
2005-01-05 02:53:55 PM  
[image from springfield-shopper.de too old to be available]

I gots da mad flow, y'all.
2005-01-05 02:54:22 PM  
I'm calling it now: death by ham sandwich.
2005-01-05 02:55:28 PM  
"most folks'll never lose a toe, then again some folks'll..."
2005-01-05 02:55:36 PM  
The Christmas variety shows this year are going to be so damn funny.
2005-01-05 02:55:38 PM  
If Britney says he can flow, then he must be the best rapper in the world!!!1!!11oneone?

/Just kidding
//I'd kill myself before I'd buy a Spears/Federline album
2005-01-05 02:56:03 PM  

/sick of Spears
2005-01-05 02:57:31 PM  
please PLEASE!!! let them be the Halftime show of some big football game next year!!!!!
2005-01-05 02:59:04 PM  
john_frink -- even though i knew that was coming, i have tears in my eyes from laughing. thank you.
2005-01-05 02:59:20 PM  
He is hiring his friends to work for the clothing line he and shiatney Smears are starting, not to manage him.

/can't believe I actually rtfa. so ashamed
2005-01-05 02:59:49 PM  
Maybe she and her husband can join those other 2 skaggs, Paris and Nicole, and come up with a new reality show,
2005-01-05 03:00:08 PM  
Dante apparently forgot one circle of hell. The one where you have to co-exist with, and be perpetually exposed to, these two swamp trolls.
2005-01-05 03:00:39 PM  
[image from angelfire.com too old to be available]
2005-01-05 03:01:33 PM  

How dare you make fun of the Ice!

Go ninja, go ninja, go!
2005-01-05 03:01:50 PM  
Kevin 'Cletus' Federline. Has a nice ring to it.
2005-01-05 03:02:03 PM  
"most folks would never eat a skunk, but then again some folks'll..."
2005-01-05 03:02:05 PM  
You gotta admit, it just keeps getting better and better every month.

If you take away the $100 million she has, she would be every other white trash, ignorant, barefoot, pimple faced, tatoo covered cum dispenser on Jerry Springer.

Please get pregnant and continue the comedy hit of the year.
2005-01-05 03:02:24 PM  
Larry Rudolph at his management company, ReignDeer Entertainment...

I chuuckled at this, a little bit.
2005-01-05 03:03:13 PM  
I will personally show up at his album debut and inject him with the ebola viris if this happens.
2005-01-05 03:03:38 PM  
Nothing says 'commitment' like dumping one's pregnant girlfriend so one can be next in line to shag Britney.
2005-01-05 03:03:56 PM  
//I'd kill myself before I'd buy a Spears/Federline album

Think "Double Fantasy," but with Britney as the John Lennon of the pair.
2005-01-05 03:04:18 PM  
"You just know that after the two of them make hot dirty love, he jumps up, spins around on the floor and does a boy-band pose."

--pieced together from Kathy Griffin
2005-01-05 03:05:50 PM  
Do we need a Britney tag?
2005-01-05 03:06:03 PM  
Times like this when Fark needs an "Impossible" headline.
2005-01-05 03:06:36 PM  
At least he already has an outfit to wear for the album cover. I mean, those Pimp sweatsuits have to come in handy for more than just a wedding.
2005-01-05 03:07:20 PM  
Between this and the multiple appearances of Ashlee Simpson (which really ruined New Year's for me, btw), is it not a sign that the apocalypse is nearing?

// Dug the K-Fed term. A new Fark cliche, no?
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