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(Some Thetan)   Meet the people who sign a billion year contract to dress up like Marines and sail around the world exorcising confused spirits of space aliens killed on earth 75 million years ago   ( xenu.net) divider line
    More: Weird  
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21103 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2005 at 2:44 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

138 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-01-01 11:47:47 PM  
I wonder if tom cruise and john travolta have spiffy uniforms too.
2005-01-02 01:14:30 AM  
They have nice badges too.

It's important to have a badge.
2005-01-02 01:35:01 AM  
[image from scvhistory.com too old to be available]

2005-01-02 01:48:51 AM  
TWO green-lit Scientology threads?

Now stop that, I have to sleep sometime.
2005-01-02 01:49:49 AM  
Holy crap.

[image from clambake.org too old to be available]

"Dear Family,

I just had a session an auditing session
I feel great! Great GREAT!
and my life is EXPANDING
and it's All Hurry Up: Hurry, Hurry
Be a friend to yourselves
Get into this stuff Now -
It's more precious than gold
it's the best thing that's
_ever_ever_ever_ever_ come
along. Love, Susan"

Ya know, David Koresh (sp?) comes to mind when I read about stuff like this.
2005-01-02 02:12:16 AM  
Oh, its just the scientologists. They do this intensive interview, "auditing," where they get you to tell every "bad" thing you've ever done or thought. They record it, transcribe it, and you get to sign it. Then they blackmail you with it.

/nothing like shame and guilt for control
2005-01-02 02:27:42 AM  
[image from img94.exs.cx too old to be available]

Meet David Miscavige, one of the most evil men on Planet Earth.

Hubbard was a charlatan, sure, but he also believed in his own mumbo-jumbo. Miscavige trained at Hubbard's right hand when he was just a little boy.

Rumor is he may have had something to do with Hubbard's death (the details of which have always remained mysterious). At any rate, when Hubbard was aging and losing his few remaining marbles, ol' David saw an opportunity and grabbed it.
2005-01-02 02:53:20 AM  
We almost have a Scientology trifecta going on
2005-01-02 02:54:39 AM  
[image from rhein-zeitung.de too old to be available]
2005-01-02 03:00:06 AM  
[image from jiggy.com too old to be available]
2005-01-02 03:01:14 AM  
Holy crap - is that a real expose...?

[stupid character accent banishing thingie]
2005-01-02 03:03:00 AM  
*People who cared for him at the time say they were astonished that he was existing "almost totally on a diet of drugs" and obsessed with removing his body-thetans (BTs). BTs are confused spirits of space aliens killed on earth 75 million years ago. They cling to human bodies and can only be exorcised by applying Scientology.*

Umm, and people actually BELIEVE in this stuff?! Like Cruise and Travolta?! Wow.

Oh, and is applying Scientology like "applying" water to discover witches?

/is glad to be an atheist
//would gladly be Christian before Scientologist
2005-01-02 03:03:45 AM  
Meet the people who argue about pointless topics

/who gives a crap

/carry on
2005-01-02 03:04:04 AM  
wtf?, over
2005-01-02 03:06:44 AM  
The dude had his own NAVY?

Nutcase freak or what-have-you, that's still hell of awesome.
2005-01-02 03:06:46 AM  
About time someone learned to capitalize "Marines"

It's capitalized, because we're better than you, and the English language knows it.
2005-01-02 03:07:43 AM  
[image from neuroatomik.com too old to be available]
2005-01-02 03:09:45 AM  
I got fired once by making fun of scientologists, I didn't know my boss believed in that wacko shiat. Looking back, I think he did me a favor. I mean, who wants to unclog drains for a living?
2005-01-02 03:10:01 AM  
[image from img.photobucket.com too old to be available]

/Washington and Hackman surrender.
2005-01-02 03:10:44 AM  
I applied scientology in several places yesterday. My scrotum still burns, but at least there's been progress.
2005-01-02 03:10:54 AM  
Unfortunately Catherine Bell is one of them.
2005-01-02 03:11:26 AM  
suprised that a nuclear sub did'nt accidently 'hit' the flagship with a loss of all hands ...

Strike anyone else as wierd that with that many people in the 'SO' there was no psychiatrist?
2005-01-02 03:12:59 AM  
Just Ignorant ,
It is the Sith way to destroy your master and take his place...
2005-01-02 03:14:25 AM  
OK, call me naive...

But what the hell do Scientoligists believe anyway? And why the fark do they need their own navy anyway? If any religion should have a navy, it should be Catholicism. I mean, they have their own country and everything.

/Didn't RTFA, only skimmed.
//Too damn lazy (or don't care enough) to research a bunch of wacko's.
2005-01-02 03:18:22 AM  

*People who cared for him at the time say they were astonished that he was existing "almost totally on a diet of drugs" and obsessed with removing his body-thetans (BTs). BTs are confused spirits of space aliens killed on earth 75 million years ago. They cling to human bodies and can only be exorcised by applying Scientology.*

Umm, and people actually BELIEVE in this stuff?! Like Cruise and Travolta?! Wow.

Oh, and is applying Scientology like "applying" water to discover witches?

How is this any different than any other type of supernatual occurrence? Such as: making a meal out of five loaves and two fishes, healing the blind, raining for 40 days and 40 nights, or rising from the dead?

How do people scoff and balk and such supposed "foolishness"? Pot, I'm not sure if you've met Kettle yet.
2005-01-02 03:18:39 AM  
I think that laws prohibiting murder should be excluded in the case of these nutball cult leaders exploiting their members.

Seriously...someone kill this guy...he's ruined thousands of lives and families.

They talk about how they're "protected" from laws...then someone should try to destroy these leaders and deprogram the cult members.
2005-01-02 03:18:49 AM  
This is the first time I have been made aware of the principles and history of scientology. They're the techno-Mormons. Only with a pretend navy.

I'm also embarrassed once again, I hope the aliens don't find out we're doing this shiat.
2005-01-02 03:19:25 AM  
Nocternal: t is the Sith way to destroy your master and take his place...

With Miscavige, that's a fantastic analogy. There is no Emperor though. Given the state of downtown Clearwater these days, I don't really think Scientology will survive 20 more years. Just a bet.

Although according to Scientology beliefs, L.Ron will be reborn in 2008. I wonder if Miscavige will be evil enough to pick out an infant to hail as the new L. Ron. I think he will be.
2005-01-02 03:19:40 AM  

They need their own navy because their founder was tossed out of the navy. And I guess he had a thing for the navy.

As to their beliefs... just look around the operation clambake site. You wouldn't believe me if I told you, anyway. :)
2005-01-02 03:20:54 AM  
Ah yes, Scientology... the only "church" in Canada to be convicted of a criminal offence (I'm talking the "church" itself, not the members), and during the same criminal proceedings managed to get the largest libel award in Canada (at the time) levied against it for viciously slandering an Assistant Crown Attorney on the case. (by the end of the appeals I think it was upwards of $2mln)

Now, I have "church" in quotes because Scientology has been repeatedly turned down for religious charitable status in Canada because there's no deity (one of the requirements for such status)

/Scientology sucks, Miscavige is probably Tom Cruise's gay lover

//Probably gonna get sued along with Fark, as Scientology sues anyone who speaks out against them - Time Magazine, web sites, authors, columnists...
2005-01-02 03:21:37 AM  
Why is this any more difficult to believe than any other religion?

I bet someone could make a religion that had a story about some guy that walked on water, turned water into wine, and rose from the dead, and people would believe it.
2005-01-02 03:23:21 AM  
Now, I find all religions are pretty wacky, but at least they're founded on unsubstantiated events and miracles that happened far enough into the past that there's a possibility for them to be true. (Also, most of them don't turn their followers into cash-producing slaves and subject them to insane punishments and brainwashing... well... not to the same degree, anyway...)

Scientology's both incredibly wacky and obviously just created in the last few decades.

How can anybody believe in this shiat? Xenu the Galactic Overlord? It's written by a freaking bad SF writer, and it sounds like bad SF. Get a brain, morans!
2005-01-02 03:23:45 AM  
I don't remember Chrsitians putting 5 year old deaf mute in a tiny hole, only letting her out when she can write her name.
2005-01-02 03:27:25 AM  
Wow, and I thought the Mormons were a wacked out bunch....
2005-01-02 03:27:31 AM  
Fark could be a religion
2005-01-02 03:30:19 AM  
God I hate these farking scam artist sumbiatches. Had to work with a bunch of them for a while. Absolute idiots. No business sense either, surprisingly.

I don't care for any religion, anyway, but these guys are a FARKING BUSINESS. Sue me you biatches. Go ahead.
2005-01-02 03:31:10 AM  
Yeah, derferman. Although Christianity has had a long history of bloodshed, opression, intolerance and general nastiness, it's all in the past. Well, except for telling Africans that condoms don't stop the spread of AIDS and don't work as contraceptives, hatred of homosexuals and widespread child molestation.

Uh, actually, that's mostly the Catholics.

Well, er, nevermind.
2005-01-02 03:37:54 AM  
That's two posts now that I've started out by trying to put Scientology on a different level than other religions so I could attack it. Two posts in which I've ended by failing miserably to do that.

For all the faults of Christianity, your average Scientologist is far more dangerous and out of it than all but the most extreme Christians.
2005-01-02 03:39:33 AM  
ChildMolestingPriest: Why is this any more difficult to believe than any other religion?

It's not about the difficulty of belief, it's about the obvious attempt to profit from it.

I'm a rare non-Scientologist who has been in the Ft. Harrison Hotel--you know what was weird? Lines at the phone booths in the lobby. When's the last time you saw that?

Scientologists are discouraged from having cell phones, you know. And every Scientologist gets a free CD-ROM (aka AOL) that gives them internet access.

They don't know that the CD-ROM also blocks xenu.net and other critical websites. The battle between Scientology and its internet critics is legendary. L. Ron didn't count on the free dissemination of knowledge when he started this deal.

In fact, he warned that reading the following information (written in his own hand!) would possibly be fatal to the people who weren't properly trained (read at your own risk):

[image from img124.exs.cx too old to be available]
2005-01-02 03:45:17 AM  
I wonder if Scientology was started as a kind of joke by Hubbard. He probably figured certain people will believe damn near anything, so why not make up some really silly stuff just to see if people will believe it.

/Hubbard's book says it, I believe it, end of story
2005-01-02 03:47:19 AM  
just ignorant

I read that note, said "cthullu" aloud several times, then went to the bathroom and chanted "candyman" for a few minutes.

Nothing hap
2005-01-02 03:48:34 AM  
I dunno... Space alien spirits infecting our bodies or a bush that yells at you while it's on fire? Fat dude sitting under a tree harrassed by demons or blue guys with a lot of arms? Religion's all pretty weird... Why should Scientology be an exception?

/Yeah, they're still completely farked up
2005-01-02 03:58:25 AM  
A sad thing is that there are probably zero Scientologist Farkers.

Plenty of Mormon Farkers, but I'm not holding my breath expecting a Scientologist around here to defend their "faith".

We're all just a bunch of muggles, oops, I mean wogs, anyway.
2005-01-02 03:59:37 AM  
We should make Fark a religion, so that Fark is tax exempt. Men worship by looking at boobies at least once a day, women look at weiners. Some combination of the previous for gay/bi Farkers. We could claim Drew is the second coming of Bacchus. Our beer drinking could also be tax deductible!

/someone write the holy book of Fark
2005-01-02 04:01:26 AM  
I unfortunately went through Landmark, which was an offshoot of Scientology. The guy that created EST. Became Landmark after they tortured people. Familiar? They only taught existentialism with a touch of "pay us so someone knows what you're talking about". They have their own language they teach you to speak in that you can't talk to anyone else in. It's evil. Scientology takes it that much further and demands a percentage of earnings instead of paying for Landmark classes. I hate all of it. I could of just read Camus. And ignored Jesus. I equate what they do with the guilt of a passed collection plate, but they are so much worse...they follow up.
2005-01-02 04:02:45 AM  
Scientology is as scarey as bear on steriods and PCP.

And like a bear on steriods and PCP, it aint farking likely.
2005-01-02 04:05:11 AM  
Yeah...by the way, sue me you assholes...I have nothing and you don't have me. You get nothing and I can expose you. Idiots.
2005-01-02 04:05:45 AM  
I'd just like to reiterate what I said in the other thread: Scientology is great (please don't sue!)
2005-01-02 04:06:07 AM  
Please people, stop comparing Scientology to more legitimate religions. I know Fark seems to be comprised mostly of atheists, agnostics, and other assorted heathens, but you can't lump all religions together just because you disbelieve all of them with equal fervor.

Scientology was invented by a science-fiction writer SPECIFICALLY to make money. It offers nothing good in return, and anyone who follows it is doomed to a cloistered, authoritarian existence that permanently shatters their psyche. Christian churches suggest a tithe; Scientology demands a fee. Christianity teaches that anyone can be saved and live in Paradise for eternity, but very few Scientologists have enough money to free themselves of their imaginary alien soul friends.

Apples to oranges, I think.
2005-01-02 04:14:05 AM  
Y. Dload
Please people, stop comparing Scientology to more legitimate religions.

People were asking how anyone could believe this silly Scientology crap. My point was that I would be more surprised if no one believed it, given that people will believe pretty much anything.
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