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(ncBuy)   Mystery of the universe answered: Why dogs hump people's legs   ( divider line
    More: Misc  
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9257 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2002 at 8:41 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

40 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-03-04 08:45:28 AM  
<<insert witty Fb- joke here>>
2002-03-04 08:48:18 AM  
That's why I always humped a leg. Dominance.

Probably affected my dating success in high school, now that I think about it.

I only dated girls who humped back.
2002-03-04 08:48:33 AM  
Ummm.... now I can get on with my day.
2002-03-04 08:49:04 AM  
Boy, I always wondered if common sense was still in use. Apparently it's not. Good to have that cleared up.
2002-03-04 08:49:55 AM  
She says getting your pooch "fixed" won't correct the embarrassing behavior, and the only solution is to stand up to the animal and assert your own dominance.

Science-speak for "give the horny bastard a swift kick in the balls".
Works every time.
2002-03-04 08:51:36 AM  
Or you could use that new military technology and make your leg so slick that the dog just slides off!
2002-03-04 08:58:45 AM  
So, does that mean I should hump the dog's leg to assert my dominance?
2002-03-04 09:02:26 AM  
they knees sex!
2002-03-04 09:20:41 AM  
Fb- Yes.
2002-03-04 09:27:45 AM  
Yeah, Fb-, but unless you have a Great Dane it just isn't worth it. The whole leg-to-human ratio is just.... What? What are you looking at?!?
2002-03-04 09:42:47 AM  
Assert your own dominance?....Like hump the dog harder or something?...
2002-03-04 09:46:16 AM  
This doesn't explain why my mom's chiahuahua humps a pillow all the time.

Is he trying to "dominate" the pillow, or maybe since he's too small to hump legs, this is just a bit of defiance humping? (i.e.: he's humping the pillow and thinking about us)
2002-03-04 10:07:00 AM  
It's not just dominance... my dog does it (usually to my arm) when she (yes, she, it's not just a guy-dog thing) wants you to play.
2002-03-04 10:08:36 AM  
And I thought PoochieLOVED me....
2002-03-04 10:11:57 AM  
There are many ways to show your dog that you are the alpha male in charge (whether your male or female).

Insist the dog obeys a command before feeding them.
Insist the dog walks behind or beside you.
Sleep in a higher posision then your dog.
Never let the dog growl at you, if it does, correct it.
Look the dog in its eyes till it looks away.
Reward the dog with treats for good behaviour.
Punish the dog with time-outs for destructive behaviour.
If the dog is very dominant towards humans give him an alpha-roll. Doggy language to assert who is the boss. Just roll him on his back and pin him down there. If the dog is very very dominant (very rare) grab the dogs genitals when he is on his back and hold them till the dog submits.

:) (good luck!)
2002-03-04 10:14:45 AM  
Interesting - so when some dog humped a sheepskin lined jacket at a HS party 10 years ago, the dog was attempting to show dominance over the jacket (not being worn at the time?)

Sure, and I suppose the mess that the dog left on the jacket was a protest against dry dog food.
2002-03-04 10:17:54 AM  
last line - book title 'real people dont own monkies'? what the-
2002-03-04 10:18:19 AM  
FB- you can "Insert" Your ummm dominace.
2002-03-04 11:44:21 AM  
I always thought it was my rugged good looks...
2002-03-04 12:01:30 PM  
The real question that we need answered is this:

Why does Fb- hump dogs legs?
2002-03-04 12:36:25 PM  
To practice being the father.
2002-03-04 12:53:49 PM  
I've always been surprised my un-fixed dog never humps. Ever. On the other hand, he used to hump his neutered male "friend" who happened to be the alpha dog in that relationship. Which makes me wonder how that whole "asserting dominance" thing can be true since there was never any question he was the submissive and the other dog LET him do it.
2002-03-04 01:15:19 PM  
One of my friends met a friend's dog. The dog didn't like him, so he decided to "ride" the dog. They've been getting along ever since.

I have so much more respect for cats.
2002-03-04 01:23:05 PM  
Mommy!!! This dog only knows one trick!!! Hump the bear....
2002-03-04 01:33:34 PM  
Perfect timing for this thread.
Dllmn: good advice but what about the failed rollover with a female dog? My husband and I just started doing the dominant rollover thing with our monsters The german shephard and lab/chow mix understand that we are the bosses and give in to all our commands but they're sweethearts to begin with. Our female cocker spaniel was an only child for a while, then was fine with just the lab/chow but has turned into the antichrist since we got the shephard and other cocker spaniel last month. I'm typing this with puncture wounds to my thumb and index finger and my husband has a bite on his arm. As soon as we release her from the rollover (where she gives in, quiets down and seems properly submissive) she attacks us. Any idea? Anyone?
2002-03-04 01:35:05 PM  
sorry, tried to give a link to a site with pictures of our pups if it helps give advice. Let's see if it works this time.
2002-03-04 01:41:15 PM  
Okay. Then why does Drew hump my leg?
2002-03-04 02:19:57 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

This was an excellent article...for me to poop on!

2002-03-04 02:52:37 PM  
The worst part is after the leg humping, they don't call later like they promised!

I have two dogs and the dominant one does this to the other one but ONLY after I've been giving the less dominant one attention (even if only petting - not like that, pervert!). It's as if to say: "Oh, he likes you does he? Well you're still my little biatch!"
2002-03-04 03:09:47 PM  
Did you grab your dogs genitals? or just roll him over?
Have you tried rolling him over, grabbing his genitals, starring him in the eyes, showing all your teeth and growling loudly, and then biting the biatches ears untill they yelp?

Let me know if that works. If it still bites you after that, then I would go ask a professional.. there are plenty of websites w/ free professional advice forums, and if after all that fails.. no dog should get away with being aggressive towards humans and biting them if they are not being abused. A bullet should fix that problem.

2002-03-04 03:26:36 PM  
03-04-02 01:33:34 PM Shreen

One of the best books I've found on obedience training is:

"How to be your dogs best friend" by the Monks of New Skete

Yes it is written by monks, but monks that train dogs all their lives
2002-03-04 03:50:34 PM  
My dog thankfully doesn't hump legs, but boy, does she ever go crazy for pillows!
2002-03-04 03:56:17 PM  
Dllmn:No I didn't grab her genitals. What do you grab on a female dog? I did the rest of the stuff except biting her ears. I'll try the book Soupgoblin suggested (thanks). Even if my dog were Old Yeller I couldn't shoot her. If we have to resort to something she will go to a home where she's an only child again.

The one on the left is the antichrist (she's smiling for the camera): [image from too old to be available]
2002-03-04 04:56:27 PM  
God DAMN, that's an ugly dog.
2002-03-04 05:09:51 PM  
Cheech: "Hey, there goes Fifi!" (*sniffing*)
Chong: "Huh?"
Che: "Yeah, you know, the French poodle? And, she's in heat again."
Cho: (*sniffing*) "Man, that girl's always in heat."
Che: "Yeah, let's go get her!"
Both: (*barking*)
Cho: "Hey, I got her." (*panting*)
Che: "Hey! Hey, get off me. Hey-OW! Get your paw out of my eye!"
Cho: (*panting*) "Hey? Where'd Fifi go?"
Che: "Get off of me! What's 'a matter wit'cho, man?"
Cho: "Well, let's go get her."
Che: "Wait a minute, I gotta 'pinch a loaf'."
Cho: "Huh?"
Che: "I gotta 'drop a toadstool'."
Cho: "Wha'?"
Che: "I gotta go DOO-DOO, alright?"
2002-03-04 05:53:10 PM  
I agree with Booge, what's with the title of her book? I have a monkey. Does that mean I'm not a real person? Maybe I should smack that biatch with my monkey.
2002-03-04 06:22:12 PM  
Shreen: I have read the Skeet monks book on raising puppys. I raised mine from it. They are very experianced with training dominant dogs. My dog trainer was impressed by my dog's obediance but she pointed out to me that I was too overbearing for such a gentle dog and taught me a more easy-going way of interacting with my Baby.

Their book should proove very useful to you. Although, for very submissive dogs other training techniques are more suitable, for the antichrist, it should do very well. If your not going to shoot it, at least make sure the thing does not reproduce.

2002-03-05 01:24:18 AM  
Sometimes my dog likes to hump my leg, but I'm too shy to make the next move...

My (female) basset/beagle Helga likes to hump my (female) shephard/wolf/malamute Doris. It's funny to watch but Doris gets pissed.
2002-03-05 06:54:13 AM  
What, no TungDog references?
2002-03-05 01:57:58 PM  
Gee. My dog used to hump my leg, but I just always assumed it was because she was retarded.
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