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(Twitter)   They aren't making Christianity or sword play better. They're just making everything worse   (twitter.com) divider line
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4266 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 Feb 2023 at 5:20 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



197 Comments     (+0 »)
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Original [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:29:29 PM  
Original Tweet:
 
aleister_greynight [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:32:49 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
spongeboob [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:32:52 PM  
Eh Jesus did say sell your coat if you don't have a sword so you can buy a sword in between telling his disciples to be peaceful
 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:36:31 PM  

spongeboob: Eh Jesus did say sell your coat if you don't have a sword so you can buy a sword in between telling his disciples to be peaceful


Hush.  The ones who call themselves "real Christians" don't like to be reminded of that.  And the other ones who call themselves "real Christians" prefer open carried AR-15s.
 
Giant Clown Shoe [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:45:09 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


i'm not sure what i just watched
 
Demetrius [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:49:03 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
roddikinsathome [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:54:36 PM  
I WOULD have questions, but this so dumb.
 
scottydoesntknow [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:01:36 PM  
Frankly I think more swords in churches the better. Hell, if they give you one for signing up, I just might consider it. I'd need to make sure it was properly forged though. Don't go thinking you can get me on some unsharpened, knockoff, renaissance faire shiat. If I have a grievance with another parishioner, I want this settled quickly and cleanly, as the lord intended.
 
phalamir [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:07:35 PM  

spongeboob: Eh Jesus did say sell your coat if you don't have a sword so you can buy a sword in between telling his disciples to be peaceful


That was only about the Pope's control of the Holy Roman Emperor.  No matter how much of a rules-lawyering assmunch you think someone is, they cannot even begin to approach the sheer blood-minded insanity of that passage and Two Swords Theory
 
isamudyson [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:10:08 PM  
This seems more like a failed nu-metal band that found a way to pivot but still had to figure out what to do with that one guy who helps load & unload things. "I know, let him swing a sword around. It'll be our "thing" for the band. You know like The M.M. Bosstones & that guy that just dances on stage all show."
 
offacue [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:22:16 PM  
Bell ringer guy almost got sworded.
 
spongeboob [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:29:16 PM  

phalamir: spongeboob: Eh Jesus did say sell your coat if you don't have a sword so you can buy a sword in between telling his disciples to be peaceful

That was only about the Pope's control of the Holy Roman Emperor.  No matter how much of a rules-lawyering assmunch you think someone is, they cannot even begin to approach the sheer blood-minded insanity of that passage and Two Swords Theory


Pope?
So you're saying that was a late addition to Holy Scripture inserted in a conventional spot?
 
flappy_penguin [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:34:02 PM  
these guys are back?

QVC Man Stabs himself with Katana Sword - Live
Youtube 2kFgeZtkAb8
 
LawPD [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:36:05 PM  
Jesus! Manowar has really let themselves go.
 
null [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 4:28:27 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Frankly I think more swords in churches the better. Hell, if they give you one for signing up, I just might consider it. I'd need to make sure it was properly forged though. Don't go thinking you can get me on some unsharpened, knockoff, renaissance faire shiat. If I have a grievance with another parishioner, I want this settled quickly and cleanly, as the lord General Katana of the planet Zeist intended.


Fixed.
 
phalamir [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 4:42:35 PM  

spongeboob: phalamir: spongeboob: Eh Jesus did say sell your coat if you don't have a sword so you can buy a sword in between telling his disciples to be peaceful

That was only about the Pope's control of the Holy Roman Emperor.  No matter how much of a rules-lawyering assmunch you think someone is, they cannot even begin to approach the sheer blood-minded insanity of that passage and Two Swords Theory

Pope?
So you're saying that was a late addition to Holy Scripture inserted in a conventional spot?


In the medieval period, the Holy Roman Emperors got into political fights with the Popes pretty much all the time.  Both sides fixated on the line about having two swords as directly speaking to which party was right in that particular pissing match.  Just took the verse and ran with it all the way out the door, across the parking lot, through the park on the other side, and down across the river into the next county.  For close to three centuries.  Back and forth about those two damned swords and if the Pope could dual-wield or not and what the HRE's weapon proficiencies were.  Just would not shut up about it.  And they didn't just torture the metaphor but broke all its bones on the rack before setting them wrong just so they could break them again.  Compared to Two Swords Theory, the order of hymns for next Sunday's service at the Des Moines First Lutheran Church is explicitly laid out in Corinthians the Second: Electric Epistloo
 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 5:09:55 PM  
If they had REAL faith, they would test bullet proof vests for Jesus.  Use a Winchester .300 Magnum, like Jesus would.
 
puffy999 [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 5:11:17 PM  
What the shiat
 
LadySusan [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 5:11:52 PM  
Much like snek handling this is probably a self correcting situation. As long as they're doing it in private.
 
puffy999 [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 5:13:02 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: If they had REAL faith, they would test bullet proof vests for Jesus.  Use a Winchester .300 Magnum, like Jesus would.


Jesus hunted T-Rexes when he wasn't taming/riding them... so use one of those guns.

Shooting The 577 Tyrannosaur T-Rex Gun
Youtube cmmZBGbcsNg
 
SomeAmerican
2023-02-07 5:21:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
PartTimeBuddha [OhFark]
2023-02-07 5:22:29 PM  
Football Hooligans
Youtube 04clpd7h0b0
 
Oysterman
2023-02-07 5:22:36 PM  
media4.giphy.comView Full Size
 
Lumbar Puncture
2023-02-07 5:23:00 PM  
Dude behind him was pretty close to needing Jesus stat a few times there
 
Cheron
2023-02-07 5:24:13 PM  
Isaiah 2:4 or Matthew 26:52

/I was enjoying a little Fleetwood Mac before dinner and I paused it for this
 
Mrtraveler01
2023-02-07 5:24:13 PM  
I thought Christians were against gay stuff?
 
mrparks
2023-02-07 5:24:23 PM  
Kevin Sorbo with a fur collar is gonna play Aslan?

Nice. Good choice.
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 5:24:52 PM  
Are we entirely certain that wasn't a Yoko Ono tribute band that mistakenly ended up at the wrong venue?
 
PartTimeBuddha [OhFark]
2023-02-07 5:25:03 PM  
Alas Smith and Jones (Best Of, Part 1)
Youtube aL1-haW9npA
 
Lumbar Puncture
2023-02-07 5:25:14 PM  
Star Wars kid bulked up a bit
 
Snapper Carr
2023-02-07 5:25:33 PM  
"Lightning bolt!  Lightning bolt!"
 
etoof
2023-02-07 5:25:59 PM  
Jesus is really gonna be pissed when he finds out he's been reduced to a mascot.
 
palelizard
2023-02-07 5:26:34 PM  
1) I'm pretty sure Jesus was anti-sword.
2) If they're speaking in tongues, why can't I understand them?
 
Hey Nurse! [OhFark]
2023-02-07 5:26:42 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
thealgorerhythm
2023-02-07 5:28:04 PM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size

The old guy with the shield. He's still a genius.
 
MusicMakeMyHeadPound [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 5:28:40 PM  

mrparks: Kevin Sorbo with a fur collar is gonna play Aslan?

Nice. Good choice.


I'm both really grossed out and yet strangely aroused by this notion...
 
ohioman
2023-02-07 5:29:42 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Friend_Computer
2023-02-07 5:30:42 PM  
At least now the Vampire: the Masquerade LARPers have someone to make fun of.
 
logieal [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 5:31:15 PM  
Is it wrong that I was expecting someone to die in that video?
 
mrparks
2023-02-07 5:31:37 PM  

Lumbar Puncture: Star Wars kid bulked up a bit


Other way around, actually. Which is impressive for someone from Quebec.
 
OhioUGrad
2023-02-07 5:32:33 PM  
I have a feeling that is not what most "Christian swordplay" actually looks like and probably 75% of the time should be investigated by Chris Hansen.
 
Jiggatron69
2023-02-07 5:32:33 PM  
"Yes, we've detected large quantities of adherents to the old religious dogmas.....whats that? How copy?  Acknowledged.......prepare the fleet for a planetary wide bombardment."


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
janzee
2023-02-07 5:32:41 PM  
Lol. HEE-HARDWARE
 
calufrax
2023-02-07 5:32:52 PM  
I don't know which is worse - the swinging of the bit of shaped metal (no-one I'm going to call it a sword), or the white people dancing when the camera pans around...

It's as bad as the "Traditional EXTREME Sport Karate" people who might as well be a twirling baton...
 
yakmans_dad
2023-02-07 5:33:22 PM  
That brings back a very specific memory. A friend was looking exceedingly glum one night, so I asked him what was going on. He said he was sad because there were so many stupid people. He wasn't being snarky or bitter or condescending. He acknowledged that in many ways everyone is up against it. Every minute of every day. We can't see beyond the shadow cast by our head. But he didn't mean existentially. There are just an enormous number of people waiting to be crushed by life.

There's a poem by Yeats that's pretty much the same thing.

Parnell

Parnell came down the road, he said to a cheering man:
'Ireland shall get her freedom and you still break stone.'
 
fiddlehead
2023-02-07 5:33:36 PM  
Meshuggah Church pits
Youtube P89QaQq9PBQ
 
Tax Boy
2023-02-07 5:33:37 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Frankly I think more swords in churches the better. Hell, if they give you one for signing up, I just might consider it. I'd need to make sure it was properly forged though. Don't go thinking you can get me on some unsharpened, knockoff, renaissance faire shiat. If I have a grievance with another parishioner, I want this settled quickly and cleanly, as the lord intended.


assets3.cbsnewsstatic.comView Full Size


ichef.bbci.co.ukView Full Size

thenewdaily.com.auView Full Size
 
Another Government Employee
2023-02-07 5:35:30 PM  
Sword Dude is going to kill somebody.
 
nemobeamo
2023-02-07 5:36:15 PM  

puffy999: Marcus Aurelius: If they had REAL faith, they would test bullet proof vests for Jesus.  Use a Winchester .300 Magnum, like Jesus would.

Jesus hunted T-Rexes when he wasn't taming/riding them... so use one of those guns.

[YouTube video: Shooting The 577 Tyrannosaur T-Rex Gun]


Jesus died on the cross fighting political correctness and cancel culture.
 
NickBob78
2023-02-07 5:36:19 PM  
Every time the bell rings, somewhere a preacher gets his Louis Vuitton Nike Air Force 1s...
 
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