Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Pitchfork)   "Their new album is absolutely terrible at every conceivable level"   (pitchfork.com) divider line
110
    More: Spiffy, Rock music, Alternative rock, The New York Times, Music, Singing, Guitar, Physics, New York  
•       •       •

3691 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Feb 2023 at 2:35 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



110 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
slobberbone [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:02:46 PM  
Machine Gun Kelly has a new album?
 
raerae1980 [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:06:04 PM  
Oh L_O_L!!!
 
FlashHarry [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:15:44 PM  
"Måneskin are from Rome, a city famous for a thousand things before you get to good rock music."

*snert*
 
Eightballjacket [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:17:46 PM  
Is it better than this


pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
Exile On Beale Street [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:31:23 PM  

Eightballjacket: Is it better than this


[pbs.twimg.com image 464x464]


y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
FlashHarry [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:36:46 PM  
I don't get their appe...

Fark user imageView Full Size


...ah, never mind.
 
Persnickety [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:36:55 PM  
"The Italian rock band has become a global sensation."

Um...
 
LewDux [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:40:26 PM  
these guys sound like Max Martin described rock n' roll to them quickly once and they formed a band out of it
 
roddikinsathome [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:41:53 PM  
Oh, I have no idea who this is. I'm ok with it. Gratuitous 'biatchfork hathos reviews are not vital to my happiness.
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 2:42:25 PM  

FlashHarry: I don't get their appe...

[Fark user image 850x478]

...ah, never mind.


That red star pastie almost makes up for that God-awful badly executed '70's hairstyle.

... almost
 
LewDux [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:56:37 PM  
"Kool Kids," where frontman Damiano David adopts a faux British accent to deliver a satirical broadside against "cool kids" that sounds like a Tory version of Mark E. Smith shouting over the Vines. "We're not punk, we're not pop, we're just music freaks," yelps David. "Cool kids, they do not like rock/They only listen to trap and pop,"

And thus new Fark legend was born
 
ekdikeo4
2023-02-07 2:56:52 PM  

Eightballjacket: Is it better than this


[pbs.twimg.com image 464x464]


Two words: shiat. Sandwich.
 
Madison_Smiled [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 2:58:47 PM  

ZMugg: FlashHarry: I don't get their appe...

[Fark user image 850x478]

...ah, never mind.

That red star pastie almost makes up for that God-awful badly executed '70's hairstyle.

... almost


Was there any other kind of hairstyle in the '70s?
 
LewDux [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:02:16 PM  

LewDux: these guys sound like Max Martin described rock n' roll to them quickly once and they formed a band out of it


Plot twist: it was produced by Max Martin
 
TelemonianAjax [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:08:12 PM  

Exile On Beale Street: Eightballjacket: Is it better than this


[pbs.twimg.com image 464x464]

[y.yarn.co image 400x197]


I saw weird Al on Saturday. He told a story about the first time he was on network TV 40 years ago. He was playing one more minute with you and the censors had a problem with one line: "I'd rather clean all the bathrooms at Grand Central station with my tongue". They informed him they would take care of it and when it aired they just blanked out the word tongue. So it became "I'd rather clean all the bathrooms and Grand Central station with my -beep-".

I don't think it helped anything at all.
 
aimtastic [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:11:18 PM  

LewDux: sounds like a Tory version of Mark E. Smith shouting over the Vines


This was enough to get me to go give the song a listen, and I think I might like it ironically? The tune isn't terrible and the lyrics are so bad they're hilarious.
 
Marcos P
2023-02-07 3:15:14 PM  
Fark user image
Had me there for a second...
 
csi_yellowknife
2023-02-07 3:15:54 PM  
Oh bite me, it's Pitchfork. The album may be bad, or it may turn into a classic and they'll quietly go back and change the review without noting it. Pretentious site is Pretentious, and they'll probably hate the album even more after they go listen to it.

/was it as good as a dead baby like Kid A?
 
drewsclues
2023-02-07 3:16:13 PM  
At Pitchfork, that level of snark is usually reserved for OK Go or Imagine Dragons. Then I listened to the "Beggin" song to see if I'd heard it before. I had. When I heard it for the first time it reminded me of OK Go. So, yeah, it's crap.
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:17:16 PM  

Madison_Smiled: ZMugg: FlashHarry: I don't get their appe...

[Fark user image 850x478]

...ah, never mind.

That red star pastie almost makes up for that God-awful badly executed '70's hairstyle.

... almost

Was there any other kind of hairstyle in the '70s?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
moothemagiccow
2023-02-07 3:27:00 PM  
Oh god, it's pitchfork, don't they just copy paste this on every farking review
 
Mithraic_bullshiat
2023-02-07 3:31:17 PM  
OK, so I skimmed them on the Apple Music.

It sounds nothing alike-but I really think you could go through some chain of song writers, session players, A&R folks, agents, managers, producers, engineers, and critics-and unequivocally blame Toto for this.

I don't know who to blame for Toto, but I guess we all deserved it.
 
Pants full of macaroni!! [BareFark]
2023-02-07 3:35:59 PM  

drewsclues: At Pitchfork, that level of snark is usually reserved for OK Go or Imagine Dragons. Then I listened to the "Beggin" song to see if I'd heard it before. I had. When I heard it for the first time it reminded me of OK Go. So, yeah, it's crap.


Most Farkers are old enough to have heard the 4 Seasons' original.
 
kmgenesis23
2023-02-07 3:38:00 PM  
Ouch.

For fun, an all-time favorite bad review.

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/1579-the-golden-age/
 
Stephen_Falken [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:40:08 PM  
It may only be Pitchfork, but they're right - that band is utterly derivative. They're just terrible.
They are everyone, and they are no one.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Ghost Roach [BareFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:43:51 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: drewsclues: At Pitchfork, that level of snark is usually reserved for OK Go or Imagine Dragons. Then I listened to the "Beggin" song to see if I'd heard it before. I had. When I heard it for the first time it reminded me of OK Go. So, yeah, it's crap.

Most Farkers are old enough to have heard the 4 Seasons' original.


Wasn't born early enpugh to hear it when it came out, but my parents did ensure that I had a proper education.

Make your children listen to the classics, or some day, your kid will say something stupid, like "Last Kiss is a Pearl Jam original"
 
LewDux [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:45:15 PM  

kmgenesis23: Ouch.

For fun, an all-time favorite bad review.

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/1579-the-golden-age/


"The reviewer (gave _The Golden Age_ a 2.9, by the way) was obviously avoiding bringing O'Rourke into his polemic against Conn and his cohorts. This evidences a slighted review and one that has lead me to end my relationship with Pitchforkmedia"
 
GypsyJoker [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:46:40 PM  
Don't know the band, but I know enough about Pitchfork to think the reviewer is probably shiat.
 
magneticmushroom [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:47:26 PM  

FlashHarry: I don't get their appe...

[Fark user image image 850x478]

...ah, never mind.


Oh, cool. I love sound you get when you push the string all the way off the fretboard. SUPER musical.
 
LewDux [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:47:31 PM  

LewDux: and one that has lead me to end my relationship with Pitchforkmedia


imagesvc.meredithcorp.ioView Full Size
 
SoupGuru [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:53:53 PM  
The reviewer needed to bring the receipts after a byline like that.

And they did

Their music may sound like it's made for introducing the all-new Ford F-150
It is a rock album that sounds worse the louder you play it.
"Cool kids, they do not like rock/They only listen to trap and pop," he continues, hoping for more upvotes on his comment.
we're left to make sense of a band that sounds like a parody of an early aughts NME cover and whose whole vibe could best be described as Cirque du Soleil: Buckcherry.
Their primary influence seems to be "Seven Nation Army" chants at a soccer game, followed closely by late-era Red Hot Chili Peppers, followed extensively by nothing.
It's a fascinating choice that brings to mind fourth-grade band practice, or migraines.
The production sounds so cramped, digitized, and swagless that it seems to be optimized for getting busy in a Buffalo Wild Wings bathroom.
But Måneskin arrived, and they are here for you, wherever you are: a band to build your identity around and say, I'm not with the cool kids, I'm with Måneskin.
 
SoupGuru [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 3:54:51 PM  

SoupGuru: The reviewer needed to bring the receipts after a byline like that.

And they did

Their music may sound like it's made for introducing the all-new Ford F-150
It is a rock album that sounds worse the louder you play it.
"Cool kids, they do not like rock/They only listen to trap and pop," he continues, hoping for more upvotes on his comment.
we're left to make sense of a band that sounds like a parody of an early aughts NME cover and whose whole vibe could best be described as Cirque du Soleil: Buckcherry.
Their primary influence seems to be "Seven Nation Army" chants at a soccer game, followed closely by late-era Red Hot Chili Peppers, followed extensively by nothing.
It's a fascinating choice that brings to mind fourth-grade band practice, or migraines.
The production sounds so cramped, digitized, and swagless that it seems to be optimized for getting busy in a Buffalo Wild Wings bathroom.
But Måneskin arrived, and they are here for you, wherever you are: a band to build your identity around and say, I'm not with the cool kids, I'm with Måneskin.


Well, sorry for not including line breaks...
 
Neondistraction
2023-02-07 3:57:53 PM  
So, wait, they're from Italy but the name of their band is in Danish?  Oh they're so clever.
 
uberalice
2023-02-07 3:58:41 PM  

Mithraic_bullshiat: OK, so I skimmed them on the Apple Music.

It sounds nothing alike-but I really think you could go through some chain of song writers, session players, A&R folks, agents, managers, producers, engineers, and critics-and unequivocally blame Toto for this.

I don't know who to blame for Toto, but I guess we all deserved it.


You can blame Boz Scaggs.
 
LewDux [OhFark]
2023-02-07 3:59:45 PM  

Neondistraction: So, wait, they're from Italy but the name of their band is in Danish?  Oh they're so clever.


Could be worse

Vaya con dios - Nah neh nah
Youtube 7LUm-E4GPU8
 
batlock666
2023-02-07 4:09:24 PM  

LewDux: Neondistraction: So, wait, they're from Italy but the name of their band is in Danish?  Oh they're so clever.

Could be worse

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/7LUm-E4GPU8]


In her defense, Belgium used to be part of Spain.
 
iron_city_ap
2023-02-07 4:10:39 PM  
Based on this pic, I'm totally fine with never hearing any of their music.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
slobberbone [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 4:12:45 PM  

GypsyJoker: Don't know the band, but I know enough about Pitchfork to think the reviewer is probably shiat.


Yer not wrong. But neither is the reviewer. Funny how that happens on Fark -- always about your tribe.
 
patcarew [BareFark]
2023-02-07 4:17:25 PM  
Rush has a new album out?
 
The All-Powerful Atheismo
2023-02-07 4:19:54 PM  

iron_city_ap: Based on this pic, I'm totally fine with never hearing any of their music.

[Fark user image 425x283]


Totally agree.  That's also why I never listen to David Bowie.  So weird with his trans look, it makes me uncomfortable.  Therefore the music must suck.
 
mongbiohazard
2023-02-07 4:20:48 PM  

SoupGuru: The reviewer needed to bring the receipts after a byline like that.

And they did

Their music may sound like it's made for introducing the all-new Ford F-150
It is a rock album that sounds worse the louder you play it.
"Cool kids, they do not like rock/They only listen to trap and pop," he continues, hoping for more upvotes on his comment.
we're left to make sense of a band that sounds like a parody of an early aughts NME cover and whose whole vibe could best be described as Cirque du Soleil: Buckcherry.
Their primary influence seems to be "Seven Nation Army" chants at a soccer game, followed closely by late-era Red Hot Chili Peppers, followed extensively by nothing.
It's a fascinating choice that brings to mind fourth-grade band practice, or migraines.
The production sounds so cramped, digitized, and swagless that it seems to be optimized for getting busy in a Buffalo Wild Wings bathroom.
But Måneskin arrived, and they are here for you, wherever you are: a band to build your identity around and say, I'm not with the cool kids, I'm with Måneskin.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
slobberbone [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 4:22:09 PM  

patcarew: Rush has a new album out?


Finally. Here's your cigarette and blindfold.
 
jim32rr [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 4:22:57 PM  
(Fresh Air) Have another Hit! ~Quicksilver Messenger Service
Youtube 6j92RqFP4CM
 
BunchaRubes
2023-02-07 4:32:20 PM  

FlashHarry: I don't get their appe...

[Fark user image image 850x478]

...ah, never mind.


I had one of those basses lol.
 
RuthlessWest
2023-02-07 4:32:53 PM  
Long time Pitchfork reader, even though I've basically reached my "Old Man Yells At Cloud" stage of music fandom, where everything sucks unless it reminds me of 2nd wave emo.

However, since they were taken over by Conde Nast, there has been a dearth of reviews that are willing to do the classic Pitchfork takedown, so I am 100% excited about this review.
 
NewWorldDan
2023-02-07 4:33:32 PM  
I listened to one of their songs - Supermodel - and it is spectacularly bad. I don't think I could write anything so cringeworthy if I tried.
 
MagSeven
2023-02-07 4:34:03 PM  

csi_yellowknife: Oh bite me, it's Pitchfork. The album may be bad, or it may turn into a classic and they'll quietly go back and change the review without noting it. Pretentious site is Pretentious, and they'll probably hate the album even more after they go listen to it.

/was it as good as a dead baby like Kid A?


When they reviewed Jet's second album with a Youtube clip of an ape pissing in it's own mouth, I no longer took their reviews seriously at all. I'm not even a big Jet fan or anything, but that was just needlessly cruel. There were like 5 decent songs on it so it should have been at least a 4.0 or something.  Reading a review for an album they actually like is equally confounding. Using a thesaurus to write 5 paragraphs about some bizarre metaphor and briefly mentioning the actual albums at the end.
 
covfefe [TotalFark]
2023-02-07 4:36:21 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: iron_city_ap: Based on this pic, I'm totally fine with never hearing any of their music.

[Fark user image 425x283]

Totally agree.  That's also why I never listen to David Bowie.  So weird with his trans look, it makes me uncomfortable.  Therefore the music must suck.


He meant that they're obviously untalented worthless children.
 
magneticmushroom [OhFark]
2023-02-07 4:36:35 PM  
onionworstpersonyouknow.jpg
 
replacementcool
2023-02-07 4:39:52 PM  
I lsitened to a couple of their songs and the reviewer is correct.
 
Displayed 50 of 110 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments
This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

Want more news before we break it? Try

TotalFark

See what's behind the green door
and help keep the tap flowing

learn more | sign up
On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.