If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SFGate)   Rats available for adoption in San Francisco, except you have to pass the questionnaire and screening exam -- and be ready to list some "hopes and expectations'' for your rat   ( sfgate.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

3375 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2004 at 10:33 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

76 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2004-12-22 01:10:15 PM  
I hope and expect that my rats one day will type out the entire works of Shakespeare on my laptop.
2004-12-22 01:11:03 PM  
Or else lunch.
2004-12-22 01:13:54 PM  
i hope my rats will not each other.
2004-12-22 01:14:29 PM  
i hope my rats will not "eat" each other.
2004-12-22 01:19:21 PM  
I hope my rat likes burritos, because that's what he's getting.
2004-12-22 01:30:36 PM  
Actually, when my sister and I were breeding rats we would do the same thing. When you spend the time to raise them as pets rather than feeders, you want them to go to a good home.

Somewhat related: Rats are awesome pets.
2004-12-22 01:41:42 PM  
The only expectation I have for my rat are to STFU when I am trying to sleep and to eat his cookies in the cute little way he always does. He is the shiat and he just turned 1 two days ago.

Happy birthday Wrigley!
2004-12-22 01:47:47 PM  
Rats are teh ubar. I love my rats. They're all rescues. I consider myself lucky to have found them. They make my life better in all kinds of ways.

That is all.
2004-12-22 02:13:02 PM  
My hopes and expectations of my rat army are that they obey my every whim and conquer the world.
2004-12-22 02:30:29 PM  
Too bad the process of birthing a child is not this complicated.
2004-12-22 02:33:17 PM  
I heart rats. I have four of the little sweeties right now. My hopes and expectations is that they will continue to be cute, eat their treats and sit on my shoulder.
2004-12-22 04:03:45 PM  
Oh honey how'd you know? Just what I wanted, plague!
2004-12-22 04:16:43 PM  
Are y'all serious? You keep rats as pets? I've never had one, so I really wouldn't know, but how can they make good pets? I know they're not subway rats, but still. Like that guy from that movie, Abyss or something, where they make the rat breathe that pink water? Am I rambling now?
2004-12-22 10:37:35 PM  
Then there's the fee of $10 per rat, which tends to weed out snake owners posing as rat lovers in order to get their hands on something to toss to their snakes.

2004-12-22 10:37:56 PM  
[image from mtv.com too old to be available]

/Unavailable for comment
2004-12-22 10:39:38 PM  
Lemme see here... "Hopes and Expectations"... ok

I *hope* I can teach my rat to give me mind-blowing hand jobs, but I *expect* him to instead knaw my shaft into a bloody caricature of its former self.
2004-12-22 10:41:27 PM  
I had a rat as a pet when I was a kid. That was fun.

I hope that my rat will be able to trap me a hot woman. A human woman. Not a female rat. But the latter will probably happen first. (btw, rats have ginormass sacs. That squirrel pic isn't far off.)
2004-12-22 10:42:39 PM  
rat from butt extractions to increase 10 fold...
2004-12-22 10:43:41 PM  
Well there is a general concern in San Francisco when it comes to the rodent population, mainly because of the plague. The plague is still in the western parts of America mainly in the mountains, but a big fear is that the plague would get to a populated area like San Francisco.

/Did not RTFA
2004-12-22 10:44:01 PM  
yea because we know homosexuals love that animal-anal-insertions

2004-12-22 10:45:36 PM  
Male rats are icky. When they crawl on you they rub their balls all over you. Ew.

Otherwise awesome pets. I had a group of 9 male rats I rescued from a shelter (sans interrogation) and a blue heeler dog. He used to try and play with them. The only harm he did was nearly drowning them in his slobber.
2004-12-22 10:47:50 PM  
Rats adoptions and SF?

Jessus Chrise
2004-12-22 10:49:22 PM  

My hopes and expectations of my rat army are that they obey my every whim and conquer the world.

No problem, there are boxes to check for those.
2004-12-22 10:49:49 PM  
I can't wait to see the followup to this. The group of rats they have there will keep expanding until it takes over the city, which should be in about ten posts from now.

Either that or they have to kill them all, and it seems that PETA isreally on the lookout for animal rights viloators this season. They shouldn't have mentioned this, we never would have known.
2004-12-22 10:50:11 PM  
Are they gay rats?
2004-12-22 10:52:01 PM  
LesserEvil took mine. Time to improvise:

[image from geocities.com too old to be available]

/unavailable for comment
2004-12-22 11:10:58 PM  
This makes me miss my rat that I had at the end of highschool and into college. She'd climb in the neck of my shirt, worm down the sleeve and sit there at the cuff, peering out at the world. Great fun for freaking out the cheerleaders. ;)

Quite astonishing how clever they are with a little tiny braing like that.
2004-12-22 11:16:11 PM  
I had a few pet rats when I was a kid. One of my rats, Louie, was smarter than the average rat. He could learn tricks faster than most animals and loved to be scratched on the ears. He had big testicles as well. He also like his testicles scratched.
2004-12-22 11:17:30 PM  
Ramesees Rats really do make awesome pets because they are really smart and affectionate. Remember, there's a reason they've used rats for all these years in psychological testing... they're wicked smart!

Oh - and female rats are teh shiznit, cuz you can toilet train 'em. No shiat. Literally. Mine used to signal to me when she needed to "go" and I'd pop her back in her cage - she's go to her "toilet corner" and do her thang, then back out in front of the cage, waving her arms to be picked up again.

The only bad thing about rats is that they have such a high metabolism that they don't live very long. I had one record-beater that lived to three and a half. They usually don't live longer than two years, though. Very sad, cuz they're so affectionate - doglike, in fact.
2004-12-22 11:18:22 PM  
My rat (who's now deceased, rest her ratty little soul) was pretty cool until my mom got the bright idea to feed her meat. Needless to say, she got a taste for blood and ate my dwarf hamster. I didn't like the hamster, but it was still sad. Moral of the story, don't list one of your hopes for your rat as being "a pet I can feed my leftover hamburger scraps to".

/Funny, I forgot all about Snappy until this thread just now
2004-12-22 11:21:28 PM  
B8: only about 5-10% of them--just like people. How 'bout you?
2004-12-22 11:21:33 PM  
wow. all these rat stories make me sort of want to get one. The problem though, is that I'm a single guy living alone. I'm worried that if I get a rat my friends and family will think I got him to insert into my anus. Any suggestions of avoiding that misunderstanding?
2004-12-22 11:23:56 PM  
wow. all these rat stories make me sort of want to get one. The problem though, is that I'm a single guy living alone. I'm worried that if I get a rat my friends and family will think I got him to insert into my anus. Any suggestions of avoiding that misunderstanding?

1. Repeat after me: "Shut the fark up, [name of friend]."
2. Tell them with a straight face, "Well, that's not possible, so don't worry. To really be effective with inserting rodents up your ass, you really need a second pair of hands. Why, interested?"
3. Grow a spine, sweetie.
4. Get a cat. I like them better, anyway.

Um...That's all I can think of.
2004-12-22 11:25:49 PM  
Oh, and I did mean #3 lovingly. It really shouldn't matter what your friends think about a pet -- odds are, they'll make fun of you if you got a new toaster, much less a rat. :)

Good night, merry Christmas!
2004-12-22 11:26:21 PM  

Tell them not to worry because the gerbil takes up all the room already.
2004-12-22 11:28:54 PM  
I hope my rat will not chew through my electical cords, burst into flame and burn down my house.
2004-12-22 11:36:33 PM  
People pay for rats? Don't they gnaw on electrical cords and the like?
2004-12-22 11:36:48 PM  
Hopefully it would fill my python up for a week.
2004-12-22 11:37:59 PM  
My dream for my hypothetical rat:

To get accepted into a prestigious medical school, win the Nobel Prize, and avoid becoming breakfast for my non-hypothetical cat.
2004-12-22 11:40:57 PM  
My hope is that the rats don't end up on a dish in a Korean resturant . My expectations are that they will..

whats up with all the forms..I don't think you have to do this with cats
2004-12-22 11:42:58 PM  
Ramesees - are you kidding me? Rats aren't just "good" pets, I'd say they're the PERFECT pets.

They're EXTREMELY intelligent, affectionate and loyal animals. Their mental capacity is roughly that of a two-year-old human, and like a dog, they grow VERY attached to human owners and crave human contact. You can even give them free run of a room and can always count on them to return to their cage or to you.

Course, like ANY animal this stuff just applies to a rat raised in the right environment, but even a rat that's been abused all its life can eventually warm up to people. And yes, some people keep wild varieties and they turn out just as friendly.

As for the filthy, verminous scavenger thing, it's all a complete myth. They won't touch spoiled food (much less rotten flesh) and there is nothing you can catch from them. Only one particular species was associated with the plague, and it's still debatable wether even that's true. This applies to both domestic AND wild rats, which, incidentally, cannot carry rabies and are thus *less* diseased than cats or dogs.

It always amazes me how gerbils, guinea pigs, and hamsters continue to be more popular even though they're relatively TERRIBLE pets...they and most other rodents tend to crap/piss on you, bite like mad, and are often dumb and panicky enough to take a suicidal leap out of your hands. Rats are the exact opposite. Most I've known of will sit quietly on your shoulder for hours, immediately run back to you if put down, and yes, they're housebroken. They try to get off of you only when nature calls (some prefer to go only in their cage if they can get to it).
2004-12-23 12:05:44 AM  
I had a pet rat, but it always smelled faintly of pee.
2004-12-23 12:08:07 AM  
The only bad thing about rats is that they have such a high metabolism that they don't live very long.

I was going to say this. I've had 3 rats. Females, btw, are easier on some people because they don't have the ginormous testicles and their hair is softer, I've found. But anyway, they are really smart and easy to take care of, but I stopped getting them because their lifespan was too short. They generally lived about two years and I couldn't handle losing a pet every two years. They're also very susceptible to cancer; I guess because oftentimes they are very inbred.
2004-12-23 12:10:53 AM  
Didn't RFTA

My brother has 2 rats that are as sweet as can be. His therapist recommended it because they're very loyal and they can help kids with social/mental disorders (OCD, ADHD, etc.) Hey I dunno if he was just blowin' smoke up our asses. But my brother's been a lot more calm and not so psychotic since he's had them. He's learned to take responsibility for something too (he's been keeping track of other things in turn, which has been a blessing for my parents.)
2004-12-23 12:12:46 AM  
Hey, for those of you guys that have/had rats as pets, any suggestions to calm down a biter?

I got 2 females a couple months ago. One of them won't let me pick her up for shiat, and will bite me if I try. She even bit my hand as I was spreading out new bedding the other day.

The other one lets me pick her up and hold her for about 15 seconds, and she'll come up to my hand, but that's about it.

I've been working w/ them as much as possible, but it doesn't seem to be doing any good for Isabelle (the biter). Anyone have any ideas on how I can possibly get her to chill out and not go apeshiat on me every time I put my hand near her?
2004-12-23 12:17:00 AM  
ouaouaron: Male rats are icky. When they crawl on you they rub their balls all over you. Ew.

My girlfriend has that same complaint about me.
2004-12-23 12:17:34 AM  
Rats: the ultimate stocking stuffer? wouldn't they crawl out? That'd be hard to explain, come x-mas morning: "well they're somewhere in the house"
besides, a severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer
2004-12-23 12:25:51 AM  
I've had pet rats in the past two and they are the sweetest little guys. Check out my page at http://ratswhiskers.tripod.com to see some of them. And yes, the saddest thing is they don't live long. They do learn their names and words for different food. Esp. cheese. And kraft dinner.
2004-12-23 12:30:10 AM  
Correct me if i'm wrong but wouldnt going to a petstore be less red tape and cheaper than going to this place???
2004-12-23 12:30:26 AM  
Rat's Off to You
Displayed 50 of 76 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.