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(Fark)   Tell me your one and only successful pick-up line in all of your life   (fark.com) divider line
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145 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 07 Feb 2023 at 6:55 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



78 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2023-02-07 1:54:20 AM  
Hello.
 
2023-02-07 1:55:51 AM  
But it's not really a pick up line.
 
2023-02-07 2:00:23 AM  
demaL-demaL-yeH stole my pickup line that I had used for many years before they appropriated it.

I need a TFD lawyer.
 
2023-02-07 2:06:29 AM  
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable...
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
 
2023-02-07 2:27:10 AM  

Wanebo: I need a TFD lawyer.


I can get you Lionel Hutz, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, or this guy...


Fark user imageView Full Size



You might not get off...but he definitely will.
 
2023-02-07 2:41:02 AM  
Hi.
/Been married for going on 27 years.
 
2023-02-07 2:50:21 AM  
Oooh, you're a fan of Discworld?

/thank you, Sir Terry.
 
2023-02-07 3:05:53 AM  
I'm very rich and very generous.

/Yeah, those are lies.
 
2023-02-07 3:23:08 AM  
I always used a look of dumbfounded shock when i figured out someone was flirting with me. 

Often long after they moved on.
 
2023-02-07 3:41:33 AM  
"Could I get the recipe for those muffins?"

Yeah, zero game.
 
2023-02-07 5:30:16 AM  
On three. One, two, three!
 
2023-02-07 5:47:18 AM  
I hate bars and pickup lines. Let's go get a taco across the street.
 
2023-02-07 5:55:07 AM  
Mr. Microphone-Hey Good Lookin'!
Youtube cJ4z4xIygdo
 
2023-02-07 6:05:59 AM  
"OK, I'll take out the garbage."

Her flatmate was the DM of a D&D group. She thought we were all weird losers, but after a Sunday session, she would pointedly leave the garbage for us to remove.

Married now for 36 years. Two lovely daughters and a 22 month old grandson.
 
2023-02-07 6:08:36 AM  
"Your name is Pam?  I'll bet you're more fun to eat than Spam."  29th anniversary this year.  Still happy as pigs in shiat.
 
2023-02-07 6:51:31 AM  
I have never used a pickup line. At least, knowingly. But I would expect it had been effective considering my past experiences of women, sometimes literally, jumping up on me.

/Please don't do that now
//Aside from being married, my back isn't what it used to be
///Thirds
 
2023-02-07 6:53:20 AM  
Please sleep with me, please, pretty please. I'm so lonely. I haven't slept with anyone in a very long time. And you are so good looking. Please do me the favor of having sex with me.
 
2023-02-07 7:25:58 AM  
To a young lady wearing pointy-toed boots: "Do your feet go all the way to the end of those shoes?". I just thought it was funny and that I had no chance of even getting a conversation from her, but it turned out to be just her sense of humor.
 
2023-02-07 7:30:46 AM  
I used to be in a band.  You might have heard of us.... Bon Jovi.

It's ridiculous, so it gets a laugh.
 
2023-02-07 7:49:19 AM  
My name is Gubbo. Can I stand I here
 
2023-02-07 7:51:04 AM  
"Act your age. Not your shoe size."

/ It involved a drunk lady
// And a friend who was harassing her
/// And started a three year off and on relationship
 
2023-02-07 7:53:09 AM  
"Hey baby, are you a school?  Cuz I wanna shoot babies inside of you"

She said she had a dark sense of humor, and she wasn't lying.
 
2023-02-07 7:59:32 AM  
Well, not successful, but during some out of class work with a very pretty girl in a diff E Q course, I asked if we could solve for dp / dv = us
Yes I got smacked.  Deservedly so.
 
2023-02-07 8:00:02 AM  
Okay, this may take a bit but bear with me.

I've actually given talks about this at various conferences and conventions over the years, and it's always an interesting interaction with the audience. One of the first questions I ask is how many men have used a line. Pretty much all hands go up. Then I ask the women how many of them have had a line used on them. Same number of hands go up. Then I ask the men how many times their line has worked, and most of them raise their hands. When I ask the women the reverse question, almost none of their hands grow up. Which is almost always a surprise to the men.

The problem with "lines" in general is about power dynamics. A line is a dominant statement made toward a defensive person. It puts the recipient on guard and is almost always an uncomfortable approach. Men are so used to being dominant in social interactions that the vast majority are simply unaware of how their lines impact women.

In other worse, stop using lines. Period. Full stop. They aren't original, they aren't clever, and they put the object of your interest on the defensive.

With that said, there is one approach that actually works very well because it reverses the power dynamic. Here it is: "Hello. My name is [your name]. Can I buy you a drink?" Or a coffee, or a muffin, or such. Just make sure it is a small value item.

Here's what it works. First, you have introduced yourself, which expresses interest and doesn't demand reciprocation (as in, "Hi, what's your name?" which is the reverse dynamic). Second, you have confirmed your interest by offering an object of value.

And thirdly, the power now rests with the recipient. They have three basic responses that they can choose from. 1) Introduce themselves and accept the offer, 2) Politely decline the offer, or 3) Make a counter-offer (as in, "How about dinner?" or "Would you like to split something?" etc.) based on their mutual interest.

And I have seen this approach work time and time again. It's how I met the now Mrs. Winterlight years ago (I offered to buy her an ice cream), in fact.

TL;dr: "Lines" don't work, being nice does.
 
2023-02-07 8:02:15 AM  

Winterlight: I've actually given talks


Geez, why. Could you don't?
 
2023-02-07 8:02:41 AM  
"I have a pound of weed at home."
 
2023-02-07 8:07:48 AM  
It's usually chopped out on a mirror.
 
2023-02-07 8:08:11 AM  
As a math teacher, I look at curves all day; I must admit yours are the best I have ever seen.  Your backside is like a perfect set of parenthesis that is leading to an exponential rise in my logarithm...which is base 10...well maybe 8

Instead of carrying the one to the tens place, let's carry us back to my place, add a bottle of wine, subtract our cloths, divide some legs and multiply.

I cannot tell you how many times that worked...

/zero
 
2023-02-07 8:12:48 AM  

Winterlight: TL;dr: "Lines" don't work, being nice does.


women say they hate pickup lines, but all of them have heard one they loved.  Heck, that's probably why some of them are sitting next to some schlub now.
 
2023-02-07 8:15:58 AM  
When I met my wife, I had spent 3 hours a day for three years in a gym. I had a degree and was working on another.  I had a car, a job, a future, and hobbies.  Most of the guys she had been around had none of this.  A stupid pickup line wasn't needed.

But....there is always the old "How much does a polar bear weigh?  Enough to break the ice." if I want to start a conversation.
 
2023-02-07 8:17:27 AM  
I have historically been too much of an anti-social asshole with low self-esteem to use pickup lines. Or even approach a person I am attracted to.

However, I DID have a pickup line used on me that worked: "You've got a nice face. Mind if I sit on it?" The fact some stranger walked up to me, interrupted what I was doing (eating and reading), and then asked me something so brazen? Comedy farking gold.

I got a laugh and she got a place to sit.

/ Read into that last sentence however you want.
 
2023-02-07 8:18:17 AM  
I met my wife in 1998. I had just come from my grandfathers funeral and a friend took me to the student union to cheer me up.

I saw some other friends and went to greet them. I instantly liked one of the girls that was with them and started just talking to her.

Later my friend asked me if I liked the girl as she apparently liked me. I said yes. She then went and asked the girl if she liked me as I liked her.

Been together ever since
 
2023-02-07 8:23:03 AM  
In college at parties, I would keep a handful of Hershey kisses in my pocket. I'd walk up to cute boys and ask them, "Wanna kiss?" which more often than not resulted in some smooching. When they pulled their face off mine, I'd pull out a Hershey kiss and say, "No, silly! I meant one of these!"
 
2023-02-07 8:29:17 AM  

aimtastic: In college at parties, I would keep a handful of Hershey kisses in my pocket. I'd walk up to cute boys and ask them, "Wanna kiss?" which more often than not resulted in some smooching. When they pulled their face off mine, I'd pull out a Hershey kiss and say, "No, silly! I meant one of these!"


this story is fake. women's clothes do not have pockets.

/jk
 
2023-02-07 8:38:27 AM  
"Sup"
 
2023-02-07 8:47:45 AM  
"Are you allergic to Chloroform?"
 
2023-02-07 8:48:31 AM  

Hyjamon: Winterlight: TL;dr: "Lines" don't work, being nice does.

women say they hate pickup lines, but all of them have heard one they loved.  Heck, that's probably why some of them are sitting next to some schlub now.


If you weren't aware how that line of thinking makes you sound like a terrible person, let me alleviate you of that ignorance now.
 
2023-02-07 8:55:03 AM  

Hyjamon: As a math teacher, I look at curves all day; I must admit yours are the best I have ever seen.  Your backside is like a perfect set of parenthesis that is leading to an exponential rise in my logarithm...which is base 10...well maybe 8

Instead of carrying the one to the tens place, let's carry us back to my place, add a bottle of wine, subtract our cloths, divide some legs and multiply.

I cannot tell you how many times that worked...

/zero


You were so close, dude. You should have closed with a line about the "limit aproaches zero".
 
2023-02-07 9:03:01 AM  
"I couldn't help notice that my wing man is hiatting on your hot friend.  Can I buy you a drink and keep you from cock blocking him"
 
2023-02-07 9:03:39 AM  

Dave and the Mission: "I couldn't help notice that my wing man is hiatting on your hot friend.  Can I buy you a drink and keep you from cock blocking him"


somehow funnier with the filterpwn
 
2023-02-07 9:16:29 AM  
The most effective Ive ever seen is when your buddy simply walks up to the person of interest and says have you met [insert your name here]
 
2023-02-07 9:24:50 AM  

kindms: The most effective Ive ever seen is when your buddy simply walks up to the person of interest and says have you met [insert your name here]


media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2023-02-07 9:36:09 AM  
Hey, you look just like my second wife!
Oh, how many times have you been married?
Once
 
2023-02-07 9:41:37 AM  
To a co-worker long ago, "Can I interest you in a full body massage and complimentary orgasm?". She invited me over that night.
 
2023-02-07 9:48:17 AM  
never used a 'line'. it was usually 1/2 hour to 45 minutes of small talk that led to the panties hiatting the floor.
 
2023-02-07 9:53:17 AM  

sinko swimo: never used a 'line'. it was usually 1/2 hour to 45 minutes of small talk that led to the panties hiatting the floor.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-02-07 10:03:56 AM  
Me? Successful pick up line?

You Don't Know Me - Ray Charles 1962
Youtube jyTiyHI8g4s
 
2023-02-07 10:09:04 AM  
I told my future wife on our first meet about how men ejaculate with thier index fingers and I shot her with my finger pistols. She jumped/stumbled back into a rack of chips and I had to pull her from the rubble. She was so abashedly caught off guard that she had to marry me lest I reveal her astounding naiveté.
 
2023-02-07 10:20:15 AM  
I was trying to get a beer in a busy place, and the only spot available at the bar was next to a gal drinking something bright green.  Ordered my beer and said to her, "That thing come with a Geiger counter?"  Which started a lovely conversation.  It wasn't even intended as a pickup line, I was just amazed how green that drink was.
 
2023-02-07 10:36:13 AM  
At a supermarket checkout.  Hot girl in front of me had a basket consisting of tins of Whiskas (cat food) and a bottle of champagne.  She put the things on the belt and then the divider thingy.

Me, loudly: Tsk tsk tsk.

Her, looking at me: What?

Me, looking at the belt: You spoil that cat.

She laughed and I smiled at her, then invited her to dinner.  Back to hers after and a fabulous night.

/allergic to cats
//but not to pussies
///cat scratch slashies
 
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