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(CTV News)   Strange man walks into elementary school in Canada, offers students peanuts. Real peanuts. Now let's take a look south of the border. Oh my   (toronto.ctvnews.ca) divider line
49
    More: Weird, Montreal, Toronto Police Service, Toronto, Canada, Toronto District School Board, Newfoundland and Labrador, Wind chill, Frostbite  
•       •       •

3563 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2023 at 11:20 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
TwowheelinTim [TotalFark]
2023-02-04 10:46:07 PM  
Fezig unavailable for comment.

Princess Bride - Anybody Want A Peanut
Youtube DP5-qJSzDUg
 
bobbyjoebobby
2023-02-04 11:22:15 PM  
Peanut allergy?
 
chrisclarkux
2023-02-04 11:22:42 PM  
Because no one is allergic to peanuts in Canada and submitter has no ideas how schools work but still wants to dunk on America.
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-04 11:25:40 PM  
There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada. We shovel snowflakes in Canada.

Just kidding. I find it annoying when peanut butter is banned but most Canadians are law-abiding decent people and not Scofflaw Republicans,

In Canada we call Scofflaw Republicans "Tories". I was called a Tory by a Mainer Lo-Brainer once on the Fourth of July abd was very offended and confused.

I wasn't a Toryl I was a good boy!
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-04 11:27:47 PM  

bobbyjoebobby: Peanut allergy?


Stigging it to the libs, stiggining to the libs, we shall come rejoicing, stigginittothelibs.

When they are singing hymns they are always in a hurry to finest by the second stanza.
 
gunsmack
2023-02-04 11:28:09 PM  

bobbyjoebobby: Peanut allergy?


Seriously. Could've taken out more kids than our average shooter.
 
Sexy Jesus [recently expired TotalFark]
2023-02-04 11:28:49 PM  
I find all men strange, even myself.
 
Gordon Bennett [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-04 11:30:06 PM  
Father Ted & Dervla From Bally-K
Youtube 00nOjGlff64
 
Walker [TotalFark]
2023-02-04 11:30:53 PM  
Spoiler: they had semen on them.
 
chewynathan2
2023-02-04 11:31:46 PM  
Fark, squirrel, nuts it, all ties in, wraps er all up, the dud abides
 
olorin604
2023-02-04 11:33:27 PM  
Canada you really need to up your gun saturation so stories like this are drowned out by the gunfire in the classrooms.

No don't, use us as an example of what not to do....well other than a wall on your southern border, that might be worth developing.
 
SBinRR [OhFark]
2023-02-04 11:34:00 PM  
"Would you like to taste my penis?"
"What???"
"Peanuts. Taste my peanuts?"
"Teacher! There's a perv on campus!"
 
frestcrallen [TotalFark]
2023-02-04 11:37:20 PM  
Hopefully he didn't look like this

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
invictus2 [TotalFark]
2023-02-04 11:38:45 PM  

Walker: Spoiler: they had semen on them.


nope it was in the cookies

nsfl
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-04 11:44:16 PM  

brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada.



Man, I wish that were true, but while I was unable to find any stats on confirmed peanut allergy in Canada, self-reporting puts the incidence rate at between 1% and 10%.  Oddly enough, the laxer the study, the higher the reported rate.

People self-diagnose with all sorts of stuff they don't actually have, so I'm going to assume - until seeing a proper study that involves actual testing by qualified people - that it's less than 1% of the population and the other 9%+ are hysterical idiots.

So, in my life so far I've known one person with severe peanut allergy, one transgender person, one person with dwarfism, and one hemophiliac.  Just for the record these were acquaintances and not subjects I collected for my basement human specimen collection.  Not exactly a rigorous study, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if 10% of the population actually had a deadly peanut allergy, we'd have a lot more people walking around worried about the current location of their epipen.

1% is still a lot of people.  Given how easy it is to simply not have peanuts in public places where random people might be exposed to the oils, aerosolised dust, or whatever... Even at 0.1% I'd be quite comfortable with banning the things in those circumstances and having foods that may contain peanuts marked clearly on the labels.

...I just wish iat was legal to slap people who claim to have the allergy when they don't because it's the latest fad.
 
Bennie Crabtree
2023-02-04 11:45:39 PM  

chrisclarkux: Because no one is allergic to peanuts in Canada and submitter has no ideas how schools work but still wants to dunk on America.


I came in here to say it was probably some Trucker Anti-Vaxxer trying to make a video about peanuts being banned from TDSB.
 
Lady J [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-04 11:47:12 PM  

brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada. We shovel snowflakes in Canada.

Just kidding. I find it annoying when peanut butter is banned but most Canadians are law-abiding decent people and not Scofflaw Republicans,

In Canada we call Scofflaw Republicans "Tories". I was called a Tory by a Mainer Lo-Brainer once on the Fourth of July abd was very offended and confused.

I wasn't a Toryl I was a good boy!


I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!
 
Bennie Crabtree
2023-02-04 11:47:34 PM  

Unsung_Hero: Man, I wish that were true, but while I was unable to find any stats on confirmed peanut allergy in Canada, self-reporting puts the incidence rate at between 1% and 10%.  Oddly enough, the laxer the study, the higher the reported rate.


Canadian schools normally ban peanuts. At least, Ontario schools do. IIRC the TDSB has banned them and a whole list of allergens that drives parents crazy. Of course, only people born in Canada eat peanut butter and eat nuts the way Canadians do. Since more than half of the TDSB students were born inother countries, their main issue is that Canadians put nut ingredients in almost everything in grocery sotres.

It's complicated and also not complicated. :/
 
frestcrallen [TotalFark]
2023-02-04 11:48:45 PM  

Unsung_Hero: Just for the record these were acquaintances and not subjects I collected for my basement human specimen collection


I've had a bad feeling about you since the beginning.
 
Bennie Crabtree
2023-02-04 11:48:51 PM  

Lady J: I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!


It's the English accent, you scruffulous rotten-borough Whig!
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-04 11:50:58 PM  
You never know if a crazy is going to poison your kids.  Or sell them drugs, or whatever.

There's a reason anyone who isn't student or staff is supposed to be checked in through the office, and it's because people going into a school without authorization are odd (seriously who WANTS to go to a school except for work or to pick up their kids or whatever?) and it is on the responsible adults to assume anyone doing so is dangerous until proven otherwise.

Because it's our kids.

So yeah, guy walks into a school and offers kids peanuts.  You know what?  He needs a long stay in the grey bar hotel to think about all the reasons parents don't want him doing that.
 
0z79
2023-02-04 11:57:10 PM  

Unsung_Hero: brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada.


Man, I wish that were true, but while I was unable to find any stats on confirmed peanut allergy in Canada, self-reporting puts the incidence rate at between 1% and 10%.  Oddly enough, the laxer the study, the higher the reported rate.

People self-diagnose with all sorts of stuff they don't actually have, so I'm going to assume - until seeing a proper study that involves actual testing by qualified people - that it's less than 1% of the population and the other 9%+ are hysterical idiots.

So, in my life so far I've known one person with severe peanut allergy, one transgender person, one person with dwarfism, and one hemophiliac.  Just for the record these were acquaintances and not subjects I collected for my basement human specimen collection.  Not exactly a rigorous study, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if 10% of the population actually had a deadly peanut allergy, we'd have a lot more people walking around worried about the current location of their epipen.

1% is still a lot of people.  Given how easy it is to simply not have peanuts in public places where random people might be exposed to the oils, aerosolised dust, or whatever... Even at 0.1% I'd be quite comfortable with banning the things in those circumstances and having foods that may contain peanuts marked clearly on the labels.

...I just wish iat was legal to slap people who claim to have the allergy when they don't because it's the latest fad.


I know all that... yet I still miss original Peanut Butter Crunch SO much.. it's just not the same without actual, y'know.. peanut butter in it.
 
Bondith
2023-02-05 12:00:00 AM  
He was looking for the English class.  They were doing a poetry unit, and the teacher wanted to move on to the artsy boring poems with no meter or anything, and the kids wanted to stick with more traditional ones.

"No more rhymes now, I mean it!"
 
WoodyHayes [OhFark]
2023-02-05 12:00:42 AM  
I thought this was going to be a story about President Jimmy Carter doing some sort of school appearance thing.
 
Lady J [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 12:02:32 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: Lady J: I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!

It's the English accent, you scruffulous rotten-borough Whig!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 12:03:59 AM  
Somewhere in Kanata:  Oh, noes! He's got a peanut!

No, I said peanut. Legume. Aarachs the French say, une arachide. No, not an arachni.

Never mind. Get your hearing checked!
 
Lady J [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 12:07:45 AM  

brantgoose: Somewhere in Kanata:  Oh, noes! He's got a peanut!

No, I said peanut. Legume. Aarachs the French say, une arachide. No, not an arachni.

Never mind. Get your hearing checked!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
whatshisname [TotalFark]
2023-02-05 12:09:03 AM  

Lady J: Bennie Crabtree: Lady J: I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!

It's the English accent, you scruffulous rotten-borough Whig!

[Fark user image 368x210] [View Full Size image _x_]


Yeah, but, no but
 
Lady J [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 12:10:37 AM  

whatshisname: Lady J: Bennie Crabtree: Lady J: I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!

It's the English accent, you scruffulous rotten-borough Whig!

[Fark user image 368x210] [View Full Size image _x_]

Yeah, but, no but


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
KodosZardoz
2023-02-05 12:13:38 AM  

Lady J: brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada. We shovel snowflakes in Canada.

Just kidding. I find it annoying when peanut butter is banned but most Canadians are law-abiding decent people and not Scofflaw Republicans,

In Canada we call Scofflaw Republicans "Tories". I was called a Tory by a Mainer Lo-Brainer once on the Fourth of July abd was very offended and confused.

I wasn't a Toryl I was a good boy!

I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!


You too!

We should all start a club....
 
BlazeTrailer
2023-02-05 12:17:50 AM  

Unsung_Hero: brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada.


Man, I wish that were true, but while I was unable to find any stats on confirmed peanut allergy in Canada, self-reporting puts the incidence rate at between 1% and 10%.  Oddly enough, the laxer the study, the higher the reported rate.

People self-diagnose with all sorts of stuff they don't actually have, so I'm going to assume - until seeing a proper study that involves actual testing by qualified people - that it's less than 1% of the population and the other 9%+ are hysterical idiots.

So, in my life so far I've known one person with severe peanut allergy, one transgender person, one person with dwarfism, and one hemophiliac.  Just for the record these were acquaintances and not subjects I collected for my basement human specimen collection.  Not exactly a rigorous study, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if 10% of the population actually had a deadly peanut allergy, we'd have a lot more people walking around worried about the current location of their epipen.

1% is still a lot of people.  Given how easy it is to simply not have peanuts in public places where random people might be exposed to the oils, aerosolised dust, or whatever... Even at 0.1% I'd be quite comfortable with banning the things in those circumstances and having foods that may contain peanuts marked clearly on the labels.

...I just wish iat was legal to slap people who claim to have the allergy when they don't because it's the latest fad.


Hey, they're parents didn't love them enough to expose them to common food allergens as babies.

Anyway, one of my stepchildren has a peanut allergy. We still have plenty in the house. Public lockdown is probably slightly extreme. My ex boss had some odd nut allergy that wasnt peanuts but WAS most of the rest of the common nuts. Better lock them all up.
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 12:18:39 AM  
Peanut butter is to elementary schools as is fentanyl to cops.
 
khatores
2023-02-05 12:19:13 AM  

Unsung_Hero: You never know if a crazy is going to poison your kids.  Or sell them drugs, or whatever.

There's a reason anyone who isn't student or staff is supposed to be checked in through the office, and it's because people going into a school without authorization are odd (seriously who WANTS to go to a school except for work or to pick up their kids or whatever?) and it is on the responsible adults to assume anyone doing so is dangerous until proven otherwise.

Because it's our kids.

So yeah, guy walks into a school and offers kids peanuts.  You know what?  He needs a long stay in the grey bar hotel to think about all the reasons parents don't want him doing that.


What if he just bought a house across the street and played peanut-themed music and speeches on peanuts slightly below the statutory noise limit?
 
Bennie Crabtree
2023-02-05 12:25:52 AM  

Lady J: Bennie Crabtree: Lady J: I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!

It's the English accent, you scruffulous rotten-borough Whig!

[Fark user image 368x210] [View Full Size image _x_]


exeuntmagazine.comView Full Size


/boil your cat?
 
Lady J [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 12:30:53 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: Lady J: Bennie Crabtree: Lady J: I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!

It's the English accent, you scruffulous rotten-borough Whig!

[Fark user image 368x210] [View Full Size image _x_]

[exeuntmagazine.com image 640x360]

/boil your cat?


lol... 'sleeping in me Jag, on pills for me nerves!'
 
BuckTurgidson
2023-02-05 12:56:07 AM  

Lady J: brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada. We shovel snowflakes in Canada.

Just kidding. I find it annoying when peanut butter is banned but most Canadians are law-abiding decent people and not Scofflaw Republicans,

In Canada we call Scofflaw Republicans "Tories". I was called a Tory by a Mainer Lo-Brainer once on the Fourth of July abd was very offended and confused.

I wasn't a Toryl I was a good boy!

I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!


... um from the words you posted on fark?
 
Vern
2023-02-05 1:00:10 AM  
And the assholes coming in and giving away Mountain Dew Code Red to announce the fact that my Middle School was getting vending machines, and the assholes standing one foot off of school grounds handing away Bibles are less likely to hurt children?

I'd honestly trust the guy with the peanuts. At least he's not lying about his motives or the benefit of what he's trying to give away, he's just saying "Hey, I've got some peanuts, do you want some?".
 
meanmutton
2023-02-05 1:16:40 AM  
Obviously, it was a Canadian psychopath trying to kill as many children as possible but since Canada had sensible gun control measures, they went to Plan B.
 
Bug2k
2023-02-05 1:37:44 AM  
Rest the clock in Canada. Days without a school shooting feeding : 0
 
Gordon Bennett [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 3:41:22 AM  

Lady J: brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada. We shovel snowflakes in Canada.

Just kidding. I find it annoying when peanut butter is banned but most Canadians are law-abiding decent people and not Scofflaw Republicans,

In Canada we call Scofflaw Republicans "Tories". I was called a Tory by a Mainer Lo-Brainer once on the Fourth of July abd was very offended and confused.

I wasn't a Toryl I was a good boy!

I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!


That's detestable. I don't think I'd ever get over it if someone accused me of being a Tory.
 
0z79
2023-02-05 3:57:01 AM  

KodosZardoz: Lady J: brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada. We shovel snowflakes in Canada.

Just kidding. I find it annoying when peanut butter is banned but most Canadians are law-abiding decent people and not Scofflaw Republicans,

In Canada we call Scofflaw Republicans "Tories". I was called a Tory by a Mainer Lo-Brainer once on the Fourth of July abd was very offended and confused.

I wasn't a Toryl I was a good boy!

I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!

You too!

We should all start a club....


You've both called me a good-old-boy, even though I'm a transgender woman.

Can I join your club?
 
daffy
2023-02-05 6:26:53 AM  
My niece was put into a peanut free class in first grade. At the time all she ate was peanut butter. My brother had a hell of a time getting her out of that class. I understand that with this allergy you can't even touch the stuff, but no one in the class even had the allergy. If you can put your kid in that class, you should be able to pull your kid out of it.
 
dryknife
2023-02-05 8:18:58 AM  
"The students opened the door for the person, and he offered them peanuts."

Children are naïve despite all of the lectures they endure
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2023-02-05 10:03:21 AM  

frestcrallen: Unsung_Hero: Just for the record these were acquaintances and not subjects I collected for my basement human specimen collection

I've had a bad feeling about you since the beginning.


Unlike you, at least Unsung_Hero is selective about what and where they leave the corpses.
 
MythDragon [TotalFark]
2023-02-05 10:05:48 AM  
But where did the peanuts come from?
Full Metal Jacket _ Eat The Peanuts Out Of My Shit
Youtube xfV6Zt0YC7k
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2023-02-05 10:06:33 AM  

daffy: My niece was put into a peanut free class in first grade. At the time all she ate was peanut butter. My brother had a hell of a time getting her out of that class. I understand that with this allergy you can't even touch the stuff, but no one in the class even had the allergy. If you can put your kid in that class, you should be able to pull your kid out of it.


That's the weirdest round of hokey-pokey I've ever heard.
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-05 10:16:45 AM  

Prof. Frink: frestcrallen: Unsung_Hero: Just for the record these were acquaintances and not subjects I collected for my basement human specimen collection

I've had a bad feeling about you since the beginning.

Unlike you, at least Unsung_Hero is selective about what and where they leave the corpses.


Corpses?  Ew.

Look, I'm not saying I actually HAVE a basement human specimen collection, but if I did I like to think if I did I'd invest in a secure room where they could be fed and washed and, I dunno, watch porn or something to keep them busy.
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2023-02-05 10:27:35 AM  

Unsung_Hero: Prof. Frink: frestcrallen: Unsung_Hero: Just for the record these were acquaintances and not subjects I collected for my basement human specimen collection

I've had a bad feeling about you since the beginning.

Unlike you, at least Unsung_Hero is selective about what and where they leave the corpses.

Corpses?  Ew.

Look, I'm not saying I actually HAVE a basement human specimen collection, but if I did I like to think if I did I'd invest in a secure room where they could be fed and washed and, I dunno, watch porn or something to keep them busy.


My mistake. I must have you confused with a different farker.
 
Lady J [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-05 4:14:47 PM  

0z79: KodosZardoz: Lady J: brantgoose: There's no snowflakes with peanut allergie in Canada. We shovel snowflakes in Canada.

Just kidding. I find it annoying when peanut butter is banned but most Canadians are law-abiding decent people and not Scofflaw Republicans,

In Canada we call Scofflaw Republicans "Tories". I was called a Tory by a Mainer Lo-Brainer once on the Fourth of July abd was very offended and confused.

I wasn't a Toryl I was a good boy!

I've been called a Tory, a Nazi and a fascist on fark.
curses!... how did they find me out??!

You too!

We should all start a club....

You've both called me a good-old-boy, even though I'm a transgender woman.

Can I join your club?


I certainly haven't, you lying liar
 
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