Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Voice)   If you must drop an empty beer bottle while exiting the bank you've just robbed, be sure to drop one with somebody else's fingerprint on it   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass, New Jersey, Beer, Police, State police, Burlington County, New Jersey, Bank robbery, Forensic science, Beer bottle  
•       •       •

841 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2023 at 6:05 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

7 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2023-02-04 6:31:03 AM  
The investigation revealed that the bandit was given a few bundles of cash, which he dropped on the floor while attempting to exit the bank. As he was picking up the fallen currency, a Corona Light beer bottle fell out of his pocket. He fled the bank with $600.

I guarantee that fumble will replay in the sportscenter that lives in his head for the rest of his life.
2023-02-04 7:00:15 AM  
Choosing Corona lite was the first in his long line of mistakes.
2023-02-04 7:16:04 AM  
The warrant was served to him in the Burlington County Jail, where he was awaiting trial for a separate offense
The other offense was drinking Corona
2023-02-04 9:51:48 AM  
I don't think we're exactly dealing with Willie Sutton, here.
2023-02-04 2:53:41 PM  
If you're stupid enough to get a neck tattoo, and too stupid to buy a cheap pair of gloves for handling your gun and bundles of bank cash, you're too stupid to be stealing anything more than copper tubing from abandoned buildings.

Also, robbing bank cashiers while armed is dirt-level dumb, rather than just passing a note, which they're required to comply with. You don't even want to mention a weapon, or make a vague threat. The difference is at least a decade in your prison sentence.
2023-02-04 2:55:52 PM  
I guess this guy never saw Menace 2 Society.
2023-02-04 3:15:01 PM  
Burlington, PA. Obviously, What other Burlington coud people think? It hard to understand that these podunk newspapers still don't understand that they may go viral someday and need ot identify their location somehow.
Displayed 7 of 7 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.