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(Gizmodo)   Of course, China needs civilian "airships" over Montana. No word on if it also has a six year old inside   (gizmodo.com) divider line
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    More: Followup, Government, Associated Press, Force majeure, Country, Sovereign state, Law, United States, Airship  
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1253 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 03 Feb 2023 at 11:27 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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rfenster
2023-02-03 11:30:47 AM  
Wanted for questioning:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
SomeAmerican
2023-02-03 11:32:32 AM  
Well, it's true that any balloon from China would naturally float over to the US.

Japan used that for it's ineffective "Fu-Go" balloon bomb attacks in WW2.

Wind map here.
 
karl2025
2023-02-03 11:34:00 AM  
"Reports of a giant white spy balloon in sensitive air space in Montana, home to one of the nation's three nuclear silos, captivated the internet on Thursday."

That doesn't sound right.
 
stuhayes2010
2023-02-03 11:34:25 AM  
Good response "oh that balloon!  Silly us, it's a non-spying balloon"
 
abhorrent1
2023-02-03 11:35:39 AM  
military officials recommended Biden against shooting down the balloon because of the possible safety risks to the public from the debris.

If only Montana had areas that weren't so densely populated.

Also, don't fighters have guns? You don't have to blow it to smithereens with a missile. Just put a couple of bullets in it to deflate it.
 
stuhayes2010
2023-02-03 11:36:45 AM  

karl2025: "Reports of a giant white spy balloon in sensitive air space in Montana, home to one of the nation's three nuclear silos, captivated the internet on Thursday."

That doesn't sound right.


Kind of a moot point, these nuclear silos are really hard to see by balloon:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-03 11:37:25 AM  
China has proper spy satellites.  A weather balloon with a solar power array underneath it could very well be a meteorological instrument.  Could.  The relatively tiny mass of instrumentation and the ease with which anyone could monitor radio signals from it make it a pretty crappy vehicle for spying.

The real objection here should be the invasion of airspace.  Trade winds are not all that fickle, so the people who launched this knew where it might go and should have said something first.

Though the US military has declined to bring it down... That's probably because helicopters can't go that high and they don't have a small enough rocket to make it worth taking the shot.  Might be time to consider developing something for taking down high altitude drones.
 
Pointy Tail of Satan
2023-02-03 11:38:03 AM  
Bah. Satellites can gather far more intel than a high altitude balloon. It probably is just a weather balloon.
 
EBN-OZN
2023-02-03 11:39:04 AM  
They would have like to have seen Montana, from 60,000 feet.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Mukster
2023-02-03 11:39:35 AM  
Worst remake of Up to date.
 
Andy Andy
2023-02-03 11:40:12 AM  

abhorrent1: military officials recommended Biden against shooting down the balloon because of the possible safety risks to the public from the debris.

If only Montana had areas that weren't so densely populated.

Also, don't fighters have guns? You don't have to blow it to smithereens with a missile. Just put a couple of bullets in it to deflate it.


If I had to bet, I would say we have already captured at least one of these things. We'll grab this one eventually too but I'd say they already know exactly what it is.
 
BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy [OhFark]
2023-02-03 11:41:58 AM  

karl2025: "Reports of a giant white spy balloon in sensitive air space in Montana, home to one of the nation's three nuclear silos, captivated the internet on Thursday."

That doesn't sound right.


It's not. There are about 400 minuteman III silos in the US. Montana is home to one of the silo wings, so roughly 130 missiles.
 
oldfarthenry [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 11:42:46 AM  
So zeppelins dropped bombs on London in WWI.
You think some boot-strappy Brits would have walked (slowly) out of the pubs and thrown darts at the damn things.
 
Bruscar
2023-02-03 11:43:04 AM  
So, the spy balloon is a wayward weather balloon. I seriously think that is credible. Sorry media, no war related ratings bump for you yet.
 
HighlanderRPI
2023-02-03 11:44:29 AM  

Unsung_Hero: Might be time to consider developing something for taking down high altitude drones.


One strategic facebook post about the location of the Communist 5G spy balloon and the Montana / Idaho locals will find a way, no DoD research needed
 
fst_creeper
2023-02-03 11:45:37 AM  
What this would be perfect for was ELINT signal mapping.  Mind you they could probably just have "businessmen" in rental vehicles driving around and no one would be the wiser.  But if I wanted to a time and tracking map of cellular towers (public record) and a heat map of the clients activity areas, a slow moving balloon work pretty good.  Especially if you also want to probe into your targets reaction to airspace intrusions.
 
stevenboof [OhFark]
2023-02-03 11:45:40 AM  
Perfect person to shoot it down.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
abhorrent1
2023-02-03 11:47:05 AM  

Andy Andy: abhorrent1: military officials recommended Biden against shooting down the balloon because of the possible safety risks to the public from the debris.

If only Montana had areas that weren't so densely populated.

Also, don't fighters have guns? You don't have to blow it to smithereens with a missile. Just put a couple of bullets in it to deflate it.

If I had to bet, I would say we have already captured at least one of these things. We'll grab this one eventually too but I'd say they already know exactly what it is.


Hire one of those guys that flies those planes that pull banners. Instead of a banner attach a long rope with a grappling hook. Fly over it and snag it.
 
fst_creeper
2023-02-03 11:47:22 AM  
ugh, that post is what happens when you think at one speed and type at another.

fst_creeper: a slow moving balloon would work pretty good.
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-03 11:47:29 AM  

HighlanderRPI: Unsung_Hero: Might be time to consider developing something for taking down high altitude drones.

One strategic facebook post about the location of the Communist 5G spy balloon and the Montana / Idaho locals will find a way, no DoD research needed


If anyone can bullseye a weather balloon flying above commercial jet altitudes... First 'wow', second, please don't unless you're many miles from the nearest human populations, because that bullet will come down somewhere.  As will whatever the balloon is carrying.
 
macadamnut
2023-02-03 11:48:10 AM  

oldfarthenry: So zeppelins dropped bombs on London in WWI.
You think some boot-strappy Brits would have walked (slowly) out of the pubs and thrown darts at the damn things.


Those were actually very hard to shoot down.  You could get above it and drop bombs on it, but I think there were one or two kamikaze-style rammings.
 
hotmoonsauce
2023-02-03 11:48:56 AM  

Unsung_Hero: China has proper spy satellites.  A weather balloon with a solar power array underneath it could very well be a meteorological instrument.  Could.  The relatively tiny mass of instrumentation and the ease with which anyone could monitor radio signals from it make it a pretty crappy vehicle for spying.

The real objection here should be the invasion of airspace.  Trade winds are not all that fickle, so the people who launched this knew where it might go and should have said something first.

Though the US military has declined to bring it down... That's probably because helicopters can't go that high and they don't have a small enough rocket to make it worth taking the shot.  Might be time to consider developing something for taking down high altitude drones.


That's my thing. Why on earth are we flipping out over a f'n weather balloon when China has SPY SATELLITES in SPACE.  Is this really a case of "if I can't see it, it doesn't exist?"
 
macadamnut
2023-02-03 11:50:04 AM  

stevenboof: Perfect person to shoot it down.

[Fark user image 307x164]


tvovermind.comView Full Size
 
wxboy
2023-02-03 11:50:36 AM  

abhorrent1: Andy Andy: abhorrent1: military officials recommended Biden against shooting down the balloon because of the possible safety risks to the public from the debris.

If only Montana had areas that weren't so densely populated.

Also, don't fighters have guns? You don't have to blow it to smithereens with a missile. Just put a couple of bullets in it to deflate it.

If I had to bet, I would say we have already captured at least one of these things. We'll grab this one eventually too but I'd say they already know exactly what it is.

Hire one of those guys that flies those planes that pull banners. Instead of a banner attach a long rope with a grappling hook. Fly over it and snag it.


If a single-engine Cessna can reach 60,000 feet without a pressurized cabin, I'd say go for it.
 
nyclon
2023-02-03 11:51:11 AM  

BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy: karl2025: "Reports of a giant white spy balloon in sensitive air space in Montana, home to one of the nation's three nuclear silos, captivated the internet on Thursday."

That doesn't sound right.

It's not. There are about 400 minuteman III silos in the US. Montana is home to one of the silo wings, so roughly 130 missiles.


I read an article that called Montana home to three nuclear silo *fields*. I call this flub a lousy editing job.
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-03 11:51:23 AM  

fst_creeper: What this would be perfect for was ELINT signal mapping.  Mind you they could probably just have "businessmen" in rental vehicles driving around and no one would be the wiser.  But if I wanted to a time and tracking map of cellular towers (public record) and a heat map of the clients activity areas, a slow moving balloon work pretty good.  Especially if you also want to probe into your targets reaction to airspace intrusions.


If I put on my 'evil' hat, you could use this to drop a vial of something nasty over a city.  Maybe nobody would ever know how the outbreak started.

It's still a stupid plan, but the world is full of stupid people so you have to plan for that.
 
chitownmike
2023-02-03 11:52:48 AM  

SomeAmerican: Well, it's true that any balloon from China would naturally float toward to the US.

Japan used that for it's ineffective "Fu-Go" balloon bomb attacks in WW2.

Wind map here.


Ftfy
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-03 11:53:54 AM  

wxboy: abhorrent1: Andy Andy: abhorrent1: military officials recommended Biden against shooting down the balloon because of the possible safety risks to the public from the debris.

If only Montana had areas that weren't so densely populated.

Also, don't fighters have guns? You don't have to blow it to smithereens with a missile. Just put a couple of bullets in it to deflate it.

If I had to bet, I would say we have already captured at least one of these things. We'll grab this one eventually too but I'd say they already know exactly what it is.

Hire one of those guys that flies those planes that pull banners. Instead of a banner attach a long rope with a grappling hook. Fly over it and snag it.

If a single-engine Cessna can reach 60,000 feet without a pressurized cabin, I'd say go for it.


That's about 20% above the ceiling of the Cessna Citation X.
 
nyclon
2023-02-03 11:53:56 AM  

wxboy: abhorrent1: Andy Andy: abhorrent1: military officials recommended Biden against shooting down the balloon because of the possible safety risks to the public from the debris.

If only Montana had areas that weren't so densely populated.

Also, don't fighters have guns? You don't have to blow it to smithereens with a missile. Just put a couple of bullets in it to deflate it.

If I had to bet, I would say we have already captured at least one of these things. We'll grab this one eventually too but I'd say they already know exactly what it is.

Hire one of those guys that flies those planes that pull banners. Instead of a banner attach a long rope with a grappling hook. Fly over it and snag it.

If a single-engine Cessna can reach 60,000 feet without a pressurized cabin, I'd say go for it.


This looks like a job for SPACE FORCE!
 
wxboy
2023-02-03 11:54:46 AM  

hotmoonsauce: Unsung_Hero: China has proper spy satellites.  A weather balloon with a solar power array underneath it could very well be a meteorological instrument.  Could.  The relatively tiny mass of instrumentation and the ease with which anyone could monitor radio signals from it make it a pretty crappy vehicle for spying.

The real objection here should be the invasion of airspace.  Trade winds are not all that fickle, so the people who launched this knew where it might go and should have said something first.

Though the US military has declined to bring it down... That's probably because helicopters can't go that high and they don't have a small enough rocket to make it worth taking the shot.  Might be time to consider developing something for taking down high altitude drones.

That's my thing. Why on earth are we flipping out over a f'n weather balloon when China has SPY SATELLITES in SPACE.  Is this really a case of "if I can't see it, it doesn't exist?"


Maybe they're testing out surveillance techniques that don't rely on satellites that can be shot down?

After all, that sort of thing is possible.
 
abhorrent1
2023-02-03 11:55:05 AM  

wxboy: abhorrent1: Andy Andy: abhorrent1: military officials recommended Biden against shooting down the balloon because of the possible safety risks to the public from the debris.

If only Montana had areas that weren't so densely populated.

Also, don't fighters have guns? You don't have to blow it to smithereens with a missile. Just put a couple of bullets in it to deflate it.

If I had to bet, I would say we have already captured at least one of these things. We'll grab this one eventually too but I'd say they already know exactly what it is.

Hire one of those guys that flies those planes that pull banners. Instead of a banner attach a long rope with a grappling hook. Fly over it and snag it.

If a single-engine Cessna can reach 60,000 feet without a pressurized cabin, I'd say go for it.


Give the pilot a space suit! Seriously though, I didn't realize it was that high up.
How can they get such clear pictures of something 12 miles in the sky but no one can get a clear picture of a bigfoot from 50 yards away?
 
stevenboof [OhFark]
2023-02-03 11:56:04 AM  

Unsung_Hero: fst_creeper: What this would be perfect for was ELINT signal mapping.  Mind you they could probably just have "businessmen" in rental vehicles driving around and no one would be the wiser.  But if I wanted to a time and tracking map of cellular towers (public record) and a heat map of the clients activity areas, a slow moving balloon work pretty good.  Especially if you also want to probe into your targets reaction to airspace intrusions.

If I put on my 'evil' hat, you could use this to drop a vial of something nasty over a city.  Maybe nobody would ever know how the outbreak started.

It's still a stupid plan, but the world is full of stupid people so you have to plan for that.


One small vial of Fentanyl over NYC would kill every cop in the city.
 
chitownmike
2023-02-03 11:57:08 AM  

Unsung_Hero: China has proper spy satellites.  A weather balloon with a solar power array underneath it could very well be a meteorological instrument.  Could.  The relatively tiny mass of instrumentation and the ease with which anyone could monitor radio signals from it make it a pretty crappy vehicle for spying.

The real objection here should be the invasion of airspace.  Trade winds are not all that fickle, so the people who launched this knew where it might go and should have said something first.

Though the US military has declined to bring it down... That's probably because helicopters can't go that high and they don't have a small enough rocket to make it worth taking the shot.  Might be time to consider developing something for taking down high altitude drones.


Yeah, this happens far to often for us not to have an efficient way to blow them up. We should invest billions to develop some way to defend against something harmless!
 
kb7rky
2023-02-03 11:59:18 AM  
Weather balloon, my ass. Those things deflate after a few hours...they don't loiter over sensitive areas liks the missile silos for days at a time (so far, two days).

Make no mistake...China knows what it is, and what they're doing. The "it's just a weather balloon" story is too damned obvious.
 
Kalyco Jack [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 12:00:15 PM  
Doesn't America have enough worthless spherical gas bags wandering around?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
FIFTEEN BOXES
2023-02-03 12:00:43 PM  

macadamnut: stevenboof: Perfect person to shoot it down.

[Fark user image 307x164]

[tvovermind.com image 640x320]


Good obscure reference.  Few people probably got this.
 
JAYoung [BareFark]
2023-02-03 12:02:49 PM  
An adversary with satellite ability isn't going to put sensitive eavesdropping technology in a balloon where it can be brought down without burning up in reentry.
 
runwiz [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-03 12:02:53 PM  
Shoot it down and see what it is.  Maybe it contains some technology we can steal.
 
dadio86
2023-02-03 12:02:55 PM  
American officials: DURRRRRR OKAY
 
AlphaG33k
2023-02-03 12:03:44 PM  
It's in US airspace, which means it can be captured and investigated for any data it may contain. I'm sure the Chinese have rigged it to blow, hence the concern for citizen safety.
 
tommyl66
2023-02-03 12:03:44 PM  
Reminds me of the ancient parable of the family (who were from China, too, strangely enough) who were involved in an airplane that died mid-flight, forcing the family to jump out of the airplane with parachutes. The tale got into the dilemmas faced by the family, including the fact that the young child was too small to use a parachute. But the story dove deep into the mindset of the smart young child, explaining the creativity and resourcefulness that many of us forget children possess. The child, who was certainly not dumb, solved the problem in an amazing fashion, and resulted in the child landing safely on the ground long before the rest of the family!
 
HighlanderRPI
2023-02-03 12:04:58 PM  

Unsung_Hero: HighlanderRPI: Unsung_Hero: Might be time to consider developing something for taking down high altitude drones.

One strategic facebook post about the location of the Communist 5G spy balloon and the Montana / Idaho locals will find a way, no DoD research needed

If anyone can bullseye a weather balloon flying above commercial jet altitudes... First 'wow', second, please don't unless you're many miles from the nearest human populations, because that bullet will come down somewhere.  As will whatever the balloon is carrying.


"safely" was not one of the requirements presented. Please seek a Project change control from your nearest Business Analyst.
 
farkitallletitend
2023-02-03 12:05:17 PM  

FIFTEEN BOXES: macadamnut: stevenboof: Perfect person to shoot it down.

[Fark user image 307x164]

[tvovermind.com image 640x320]

Good obscure reference.  Few people probably got this.


Quigley, did the dingo eat the baby?
 
chitownmike
2023-02-03 12:05:46 PM  

nyclon: BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy: karl2025: "Reports of a giant white spy balloon in sensitive air space in Montana, home to one of the nation's three nuclear silos, captivated the internet on Thursday."

That doesn't sound right.

It's not. There are about 400 minuteman III silos in the US. Montana is home to one of the silo wings, so roughly 130 missiles.

I read an article that called Montana home to three nuclear silo *fields*. I call this flub a lousy editing job.


What a silo field might look like
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Unsung_Hero
2023-02-03 12:06:58 PM  
The NAVAIR Spike is close to what might be needed, but the warhead is still overkill and it is designed to hit ground targets.  Might not be prohibitively expensive at $5k/shot, either.

You know what?  You don't even need the warhead.  Pack in a chute instead.  Paint the balloon with a laser, the missile will rip it apart with kinetic energy alone, then you can recover the missile afterwards.  And maybe if it tangles up just right, the balloon too.

It ought to be tried just for fun.  Seems like the toughest part would be building a device to keep the targetting laser on the balloon.
 
UltimaCS
2023-02-03 12:08:28 PM  

BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy: karl2025: "Reports of a giant white spy balloon in sensitive air space in Montana, home to one of the nation's three nuclear silos, captivated the internet on Thursday."

That doesn't sound right.

It's not. There are about 400 minuteman III silos in the US. Montana is home to one of the silo wings, so roughly 130 missiles.


Much appreciations for the information, comrade.
 
XrayVision
2023-02-03 12:08:52 PM  

tommyl66: Reminds me of the ancient parable of the family (who were from China, too, strangely enough) who were involved in an airplane that died mid-flight, forcing the family to jump out of the airplane with parachutes. The tale got into the dilemmas faced by the family, including the fact that the young child was too small to use a parachute. But the story dove deep into the mindset of the smart young child, explaining the creativity and resourcefulness that many of us forget children possess. The child, who was certainly not dumb, solved the problem in an amazing fashion, and resulted in the child landing safely on the ground long before the rest of the family!


Cool most of a story bro
 
Cheron
2023-02-03 12:11:49 PM  
Anyone ask the Montgolfier brothers about this?
 
Jake Havechek [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 12:16:45 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Pointy Tail of Satan
2023-02-03 12:31:50 PM  
One way to tell if it really is an intel balloon. Shoot the balloon. It's the package is intel based, it will destroy itself on the way down.
 
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