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(WCTI 12 New Bern)   Bad luck: Getting killed in a motorcycle wreck. Worse luck: Your penis ends up in a gas station parking lot   (wcti12.com) divider line
55
    More: Strange, human sex organ, Sex organ, Filling station, Alabama gas station, Uterus, Secondary sex characteristic, Sex differences in humans, Sexual intercourse  
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1944 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2023 at 9:20 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



55 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Walker [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 8:29:11 AM  
Worst luck: You end up a repeat on Fark.
 
labman [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 8:48:46 AM  
This has to be the greatest quote ever in a newspaper article:  "Police have not detailed exactly how Means's penis managed to travel to the gas station"
 
koder [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-03 8:50:51 AM  
Best luck: you get to tell your misbehaving child that's what happens when you're bad on a road trip.
 
SpectroBoy [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-03 8:57:46 AM  
Having owned several motorcycles through the years I think I may be riding them differently than the guy in the article.
 
Brawndo [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:05:17 AM  
FTFA "his penis fell off the front end of a truck"

Ive bought stuff that has fallen out of a truck, but a penis is a bride too far for me
 
SpectroBoy [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-03 9:17:51 AM  

Brawndo: FTFA "his penis fell off the front end of a truck"

Ive bought stuff that has fallen out of a truck, but a penis is a bride too far for me


i c wat u did their
 
WyDave
2023-02-03 9:22:19 AM  
Poor schmuck who found it:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
frankb00th
2023-02-03 9:22:22 AM  
"Wiping out so hard your dick flies off"
This is just nitrous for the imagination.
 
Nana's Vibrator
2023-02-03 9:22:34 AM  
assets.atlasobscura.comView Full Size
 
Eli WhiskeyDik [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:23:11 AM  
That will cost you $17.00
 
Abe Vigoda's Ghost
2023-02-03 9:23:34 AM  
Police have not detailed exactly how Means's penis managed to travel to the gas station

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Merltech
2023-02-03 9:24:24 AM  

Brawndo: FTFA "his penis fell off the front end of a truck"

Ive bought stuff that has fallen out of a truck, but a penis is a bride too far for me


Fark user imageView Full Size

So that's why it's only the balls.
 
zez
2023-02-03 9:25:57 AM  

Walker: Worst luck: You end up a repeat on Fark.


This is more of a follow up
 
Literally Addicted [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:28:35 AM  
"Police say they believe multiple people unknowingly struck Means's body following the fatal crash."

How do you not know if you hit something larger than a breadbox with your car?
 
Chief Superintendent Lookout
2023-02-03 9:29:15 AM  
Detachable penus?
 
Tonyboy
2023-02-03 9:29:31 AM  

SpectroBoy: Having owned several motorcycles through the years I think I may be riding them differently than the guy in the article.


So you keep your modifier from dangling?
 
hugram [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:30:28 AM  
If he had survived, but had his penis torn off, this pic FTFA would have added more cruelty to his world...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
SpaceMonkey-66 [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:31:26 AM  

SpectroBoy: Having owned several motorcycles through the years I think I may be riding them differently than the guy in the article.


This guy got hit multiple times afterward, him laying the bike down likely didn't do it.  That said, blue jeans protect you for about six feet if you go down.

/ ex rider, after an accident killed friend.  Broadsided by dwi
// went down myself @ about 50 mph, slid
/// still intact down below
 
some_beer_drinker
2023-02-03 9:31:53 AM  

Walker: Worst luck: You end up a repeat on Fark.


i mean, how often do you find a random penis in a parking lot
 
J_Kushner
2023-02-03 9:31:55 AM  
Gotta keep the dirty side down.
 
freetomato [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:32:23 AM  
th.bing.comView Full Size

The guy who found it, and drew the chalk outline.
 
sinko swimo
2023-02-03 9:33:23 AM  
one of my fears is having a death where people burst into laughter at the funeral parlor.
 
brilett
2023-02-03 9:33:55 AM  
He should have gotten the extended warranty.
 
Godscrack
2023-02-03 9:34:47 AM  
I'm sure his family and loved one's really appreciate the graphic details all over the internet.
 
oldfarthenry [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:35:12 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

'Yeeeeeah, on second thought I'll just put this back & have a coffee instead.'
 
R2112
2023-02-03 9:35:20 AM  
Are we sure this guy's not a plumber ?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
NINEv2
2023-02-03 9:36:38 AM  
Ah, the seldom seen but much feared 'splatflop'.
 
The Yattering
2023-02-03 9:39:03 AM  
hugram: If he had survived, but had his penis torn off, this pic FTFA would have added more cruelty to his world...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
WonderDave1
2023-02-03 9:39:46 AM  

some_beer_drinker: Walker: Worst luck: You end up a repeat on Fark.

i mean, how often do you find a random penis in a parking lot


Fark user imageView Full Size

37 times?
 
Marcos P
2023-02-03 9:45:52 AM  

freetomato: [th.bing.com image 198x267]
The guy who found it, and drew the chalk outline.


I seriously laughed so hard just now
 
R2112
2023-02-03 9:47:59 AM  

R2112: Are we sure this guy's not a plumber ?

[Fark user image 850x1133]


Wrong thread ... I'm a dumbass
 
Abox
2023-02-03 9:48:07 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Was she found in possession of said penis or did she just need her fainting couch
 
FarkingReading
2023-02-03 9:50:46 AM  

WonderDave1: some_beer_drinker: Walker: Worst luck: You end up a repeat on Fark.

i mean, how often do you find a random penis in a parking lot

[Fark user image image 320x180]
37 times?


In a row?
 
grokca [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:51:05 AM  
I've been riding for over 40 years, I've imagined a lot of horrible things happening to me but never this.
Riding with a jock strap on from now on.
 
jim32rr [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 9:53:54 AM  

grokca: I've been riding for over 40 years, I've imagined a lot of horrible things happening to me but never this.
Riding with a jock strap on from now on.


Relax, a thong can't be wrong
 
NINEv2
2023-02-03 9:55:50 AM  

Abox: [Fark user image image 386x218]
Was she found in possession of said penis or did she just need her fainting couch


She was in the same county with some fentanyl.
 
Russ1642
2023-02-03 9:56:05 AM  
Organ donor
 
BubbaBoBobBrain
2023-02-03 9:57:59 AM  
Peoples, peoples, there's a simple explanation for all this:
King Missile - Detachable Penis
Youtube byDiILrNbM4
 
Grumpy Cat
2023-02-03 10:00:30 AM  
My friend's father had his leg ripped off when he crashed into a fire hydrant. He wasn't even going fast, but a series of unfortunate events led him to his current, single-legged life.
 
Habitual Cynic
2023-02-03 10:01:00 AM  
Pretty sure getting dead is worse than subsequently losing your unit.  Dead guys have little use for anything.  Priorities, dude. Priorities.
 
Creepy Lurker Guy [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 10:07:51 AM  

sinko swimo: one of my fears is having a death where people burst into laughter at the funeral parlor.


Who are you? Rodney Dangerfield?
 
Fursecution [BareFark]
2023-02-03 10:10:46 AM  
I had a great headline for this story a few days ago, but my submit is gone from Fark. Not just redlit, but as if it never existed. Like it was too horrible even for the delicate minds of TFers.

/Achievement?
//Not going into specifics. Everything was SFW.
///Not tried seeing if I'm even allowed to submit links anymore.
 
ctighe2353
2023-02-03 10:17:10 AM  

some_beer_drinker: Walker: Worst luck: You end up a repeat on Fark.

i mean, how often do you find a random penis in a parking lot


I'm not even sure it would be identifiable as a penis at that point.
Rip it off and drain out all the blood, run to over and slap it on the front of a truck and does it resemble the original enough that seeing it in a completely unexpected spot you would say AHhhhhh somes penis fell off??
 
Salmon
2023-02-03 10:35:04 AM  
I would have kept it and taken pictures of it travelling the world, like people do with garden gnomes and the such.
 
dtbcr
2023-02-03 10:37:07 AM  

Merltech: Brawndo: FTFA "his penis fell off the front end of a truck"

Ive bought stuff that has fallen out of a truck, but a penis is a bride too far for me

[Fark user image image 275x183]
So that's why it's only the balls.


The dick is in the driver's seat.
 
johndalek
2023-02-03 10:39:33 AM  
i think i remember seeing some sort of metal safety cages that you can buy to protect your penis from some unfortunate mishaps.

ill have to do some more research and get back to you
 
cryptozoophiliac
2023-02-03 10:45:29 AM  
...and that's why I'm gonna let ya drive this beauty right off the lot, today!

Sure, it's a severed penis, but you're not going to get these kinds of low rates anywhere else!
 
Turbo Cojones
2023-02-03 11:21:20 AM  
So he had a dick.  At least we know he wasn't riding  a Harley.
 
Englebert Slaptyback
2023-02-03 11:28:04 AM  
Kind of a dick move.
 
LOLITROLU
2023-02-03 11:35:32 AM  

Literally Addicted: "Police say they believe multiple people unknowingly struck Means's body following the fatal crash."

How do you not know if you hit something larger than a breadbox with your car?


Size doesn't matter
it's how you use it


seriously she said it's right for her 

shut up
 
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