Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Perception: Now they're 12, your grandkids never visit, call or e-mail any more. Reality: Now they're 12, your grandkids need to go to court to make your crazy self respect their boundaries   (theguardian.com) divider line
39
    More: Awkward, Supreme court, Appeal, Family law, Court, Parent, Child, Court of cassation, Law  
•       •       •

2253 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2023 at 11:17 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
bostonguy [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 7:25:26 AM  
On a related note, I've always wondered something: Why do parents complain that their children don't call as often as they'd like?

Parents cannot pick up the phone and call them?
 
AirForceVet [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-03 9:03:11 AM  
My son passed over 12 years ago.

I am grateful my stepdaughter and I have a relationship. We did not get along while I was married to her mom.

I do not press her or anyone to contact me as she and others have their own lives and challenges.

I am responsible for my own happiness. One thing I do enjoy is remembering her and her kids on birthdays, holidays and Christmas. Because love should be selfless and given freely.
 
DecemberNitro
2023-02-03 11:21:15 AM  
Are 12 yr olds typically in the habit of calling their grandparents?
 
foo monkey
2023-02-03 11:22:07 AM  

AirForceVet: My son passed over 12 years ago.

I am grateful my stepdaughter and I have a relationship. We did not get along while I was married to her mom.


Dude, you have to see what you did here. You can't make it this easy for us.
 
elevenhenry
2023-02-03 11:23:01 AM  

bostonguy: On a related note, I've always wondered something: Why do parents complain that their children don't call as often as they'd like?

Parents cannot pick up the phone and call them?


Yes, this x1000. My dad, when I do eventually call, spends the first 10 minutes of the call complaining that I don't call. It's never occurred to him 1) phones work two ways, and 2) if you biatch at me when I call, I'm not going to want to call.

I wonder if it's generational? I always thought it was just a cultural thing.
 
Smoking GNU [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 11:23:06 AM  

foo monkey: AirForceVet: My son passed over 12 years ago.

I am grateful my stepdaughter and I have a relationship. We did not get along while I was married to her mom.

Dude, you have to see what you did here. You can't make it this easy for us.


Too easy. No effort. Pass.
 
foo monkey
2023-02-03 11:23:15 AM  
And nice find, Subby. I sent this directly to my kids.  My parents, well, they mean well...
 
foo monkey
2023-02-03 11:24:59 AM  

Smoking GNU: foo monkey: AirForceVet: My son passed over 12 years ago.

I am grateful my stepdaughter and I have a relationship. We did not get along while I was married to her mom.

Dude, you have to see what you did here. You can't make it this easy for us.

Too easy. No effort. Pass.


Right?  It's a wonderful, heart-warming story, but geez.
 
doctorguilty
2023-02-03 11:25:03 AM  
Ah, the old "use the children as weapons in your own bullshiat" dynamic. Great.
 
Merltech
2023-02-03 11:25:09 AM  

elevenhenry: bostonguy: On a related note, I've always wondered something: Why do parents complain that their children don't call as often as they'd like?

Parents cannot pick up the phone and call them?

Yes, this x1000. My dad, when I do eventually call, spends the first 10 minutes of the call complaining that I don't call. It's never occurred to him 1) phones work two ways, and 2) if you biatch at me when I call, I'm not going to want to call.

I wonder if it's generational? I always thought it was just a cultural thing.


One better: My mom has a phone that can text.  Sometimes I'll give a run down of what's happening. But it's always. Why don't you call. Sorry, busy living life.
 
Habitual Cynic
2023-02-03 11:25:32 AM  

bostonguy: On a related note, I've always wondered something: Why do parents complain that their children don't call as often as they'd like?

Parents cannot pick up the phone and call them?


Nobody calls.  You need to text to get an answer.
 
Marcos P
2023-02-03 11:26:04 AM  
I was a weird kid and I didn't like visiting any relatives ever.
 
pollyprepper
2023-02-03 11:28:59 AM  

DecemberNitro: Are 12 yr olds typically in the habit of calling their grandparents?


I would say that's a No.
 
Creoena [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 11:30:55 AM  
So now children have the right to say "No, I don't want to see my handsy and rapey grandpa" any longer?  Hurray.  Progress.
 
mrmopar5287 [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 11:31:06 AM  
NOW DO PARENTS
 
iaazathot
2023-02-03 11:33:06 AM  
Toxic family members don't get to call the shots. My MIL is a toxic person. My daughter doesn't like her at all. I don't force her to do anything but the bare minimum of interaction, and I keep that pretty low too. My wife is trying to give her mom a chance, and I respect that. However, nobody else has to put up with her mom's constant BS.
 
Creoena [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 11:33:40 AM  

Creoena: So now children have the right to say "No, I don't want to see my handsy and rapey grandpa" any longer?  Hurray.  Progress.


Unlike my punctuation skills.

So now children have the right to say "No, I don't want to see my handsy and rapey grandpa any longer"?  Hurray.  Progress.
 
Dinjiin [BareFark]
2023-02-03 11:43:06 AM  
I never understood how courts could impose visitation rights to grandparents, especially if the grandchildren never lived with the grandparents and there were no other factoring custody issues.
 
Another Government Employee
2023-02-03 11:43:33 AM  
Picking through TFA-it looks like the parents are the main obstacles and the kids don't want the drama. Having grown up in a family like that, I understand.

/ Still don't speak to some people after 50 years
// More than one obituary was read with pleasure
 
chitownmike
2023-02-03 11:45:44 AM  

DecemberNitro: Are 12 yr olds typically in the habit of calling their grandparents?


My parents always made me cal to say thank you for birthday cards, they were short conversations
 
chitownmike
2023-02-03 11:47:59 AM  

Marcos P: I was a weird kid and I didn't like visiting any relatives ever.


That's not wierd
 
Qellaqan
2023-02-03 12:07:23 PM  
I was a "weird" kid for not liking mandatory hugs. I got talked to after I didn't want to hug our elementary school principal. Now it isn't weird, boundaries are good. Yay! My mil was "hurt" when I didn't want to do mandatory hugs with the loud aunt. Oh dear mil, you aren't the first I've disappointed, you won't be the last.

I honestly don't mind hugs much if people ask me if I'm comfortable with it. I just hate the presumption of invading my space. I sometimes have a lot of stomach pain and I like to feel some ability to protect myself.
 
Halfwaydown
2023-02-03 12:08:31 PM  
I still remember as a very young child I hated visiting my grandmas.
My dads mother always demanded a kiss when we visited and you could never say no thank you.
Then when you leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, she would always quickly turn her head to kiss you on the lips.
Always made me feel so uncomfortable.
Never met any grandpa's.
It's traditional in my family tree that if you're male, you kill yourself before you hit 65.
The older I get, the more I agree with my ex wife that my family tree should've been cut down a long time ago.
 
Raeconteur
2023-02-03 12:13:24 PM  

Another Government Employee: Picking through TFA-it looks like the parents are the main obstacles and the kids don't want the drama. Having grown up in a family like that, I understand.

/ Still don't speak to some people after 50 years
// More than one obituary was read with pleasure


My paternal grandma was a catty biatch who resented my mother and treated her like crap. My mom never said anything and left our relationship alone, but once I got old enough to see what was going on, I limited contact myself. No interest in being around someone who treated my mom that badly.

Also: hello, I have not farked in several years and just created a new account.
 
NM Volunteer [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 12:15:52 PM  

bostonguy: On a related note, I've always wondered something: Why do parents complain that their children don't call as often as they'd like?

Parents cannot pick up the phone and call them?


It's all about control, real or perceived.  They're the godfather, you're the lowly mook, you go to them.  They don't go to you.
 
gyorg [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 12:28:30 PM  
I wish boundaries were a thing before Millinials.  My boomer mother feels she can touch me any time she wants. I'm 42.
 
indy_kid
2023-02-03 12:37:53 PM  

mrmopar5287: NOW DO PARENTS


Well, parent.

I didn't see my father for something like 17 years, because he wasn't a good father. My cousin said he was in the hospital and it was serious, so I visited for about 2 hours. He died 2 days later. We kids had to go to his place once a month after my parents got divorced, and all we did was sit around. He didn't know how to relate to bored teenagers. I don't miss him.

As for my Mom, I was the sole caregiver for 3 years, despite the fact that my 2 siblings were no more than 45 minutes away on the worst days. My sister provided 2 days of care (she's a nurse, BTW) while I had to go out of town, and my brother never helped. The last year of her life, he came out to her farm just 6 times. On Fridays, he was just 15 minutes away, but never came out.

I was the one who buried them (cremains), by myself, and made sure each had a headstone.

Haven't seen either sibling since my Mom's funeral in 2006. We didn't like each other much growing up.
 
foo monkey
2023-02-03 12:58:03 PM  

indy_kid: mrmopar5287: NOW DO PARENTS

Well, parent.

I didn't see my father for something like 17 years, because he wasn't a good father. My cousin said he was in the hospital and it was serious, so I visited for about 2 hours. He died 2 days later. We kids had to go to his place once a month after my parents got divorced, and all we did was sit around. He didn't know how to relate to bored teenagers. I don't miss him.



Do you know why your parents got divorced?  I ask because I don't think my kids do.  They've never asked me.  I don't know that they've asked their mom.  We told them we grew apart and that's it.  They know it's more than that and I feel they're owed a full answer, but I don't think it's my place to bring it up.
 
HoratioGates
2023-02-03 1:04:48 PM  
If i had a kid I'd encourage them to call my dad regularly.  I'd give them a picture of my mom and over her husband, and tell them if she ever sees them she is to call the police immediately and to never talk to them.
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:09:40 PM  

AirForceVet: My son passed over 12 years ago.

I am grateful my stepdaughter and I have a relationship. We did not get along while I was married to her mom.

I do not press her or anyone to contact me as she and others have their own lives and challenges.

I am responsible for my own happiness. One thing I do enjoy is remembering her and her kids on birthdays, holidays and Christmas. Because love should be selfless and given freely.


🥺
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:14:21 PM  

Marcos P: I was a weird kid and I didn't like visiting any relatives ever.


It was for most boring shiat ever, all the time. Except the one time we all went to Disney.  fark. 4 sisters and they all had more than one kid Except for my mom.  😆.  And I was too young/short so I didn't get to ride shiat.

/
Wish people would gofund me to vist again so I could actually ride shiat.  🥺
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:15:25 PM  

Creoena: So now children have the right to say "No, I don't want to see my handsy and rapey grandpa" any longer?  Hurray.  Progress.


Right?

/
On a side note visiting family was so lame, except for the kissing cousins 🤭
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:18:24 PM  

Dinjiin: I never understood how courts could impose visitation rights to grandparents, especially if the grandchildren never lived with the grandparents and there were no other factoring custody issues.


To be completely fair, why do they have any say on any relationship shiat? Wtf? If they have any. Then they should have far reaching.  WTF. Do you even know any thing? Seriously.  So you actually think the reach should stop at A and fark the rest of the alphabet?
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:19:46 PM  

Halfwaydown: I still remember as a very young child I hated visiting my grandmas.
My dads mother always demanded a kiss when we visited and you could never say no thank you.
Then when you leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, she would always quickly turn her head to kiss you on the lips.
Always made me feel so uncomfortable.
Never met any grandpa's.
It's traditional in my family tree that if you're male, you kill yourself before you hit 65.
The older I get, the more I agree with my ex wife that my family tree should've been cut down a long time ago.


🥺
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:20:53 PM  

gyorg: I wish boundaries were a thing before Millinials.  My boomer mother feels she can touch me any time she wants. I'm 42.


To be clear the one who popped you out of her cavity?
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:23:38 PM  

foo monkey: indy_kid: mrmopar5287: NOW DO PARENTS

Well, parent.

I didn't see my father for something like 17 years, because he wasn't a good father. My cousin said he was in the hospital and it was serious, so I visited for about 2 hours. He died 2 days later. We kids had to go to his place once a month after my parents got divorced, and all we did was sit around. He didn't know how to relate to bored teenagers. I don't miss him.


Do you know why your parents got divorced?  I ask because I don't think my kids do.  They've never asked me.  I don't know that they've asked their mom.  We told them we grew apart and that's it.  They know it's more than that and I feel they're owed a full answer, but I don't think it's my place to bring it up.


What? No. Seriously.  Divorce should be a table talk. Before it happens.  Grown up. Man.
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:24:06 PM  

HoratioGates: If i had a kid I'd encourage them to call my dad regularly.  I'd give them a picture of my mom and over her husband, and tell them if she ever sees them she is to call the police immediately and to never talk to them.


🙄
 
Madstand [TotalFark]
2023-02-03 1:27:50 PM  

iaazathot: Toxic family members don't get to call the shots. My MIL is a toxic person. My daughter doesn't like her at all. I don't force her to do anything but the bare minimum of interaction, and I keep that pretty low too. My wife is trying to give her mom a chance, and I respect that. However, nobody else has to put up with her mom's constant BS.


I have a question - why make your daughter interact with your MIL at all?  You say your wife is trying to give her a chance but why make your daughter?  Sounds like MIL gets a pass because "family."  I've never understood why people have such a hard time cutting out toxic people because they're related to them.   I'm not criticizing or anything like that.  You do you.  I'm just genuinely curious as to why and trying to understand the mindset..
 
Loren
2023-02-03 2:33:34 PM  

Another Government Employee: Picking through TFA-it looks like the parents are the main obstacles and the kids don't want the drama. Having grown up in a family like that, I understand.

/ Still don't speak to some people after 50 years
// More than one obituary was read with pleasure


I think the grandparents blame the parents, but that doesn't make it so.  It sounds to me more like the parents are respecting their children's wishes.
 
Displayed 39 of 39 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments
This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

Want more stories with less ads? Try

TotalFark

It's what the cool kids are doing.
It also helps us pay the bills.

learn more | sign up
On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.