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(Vice) Weeners Gibbon becomes pregnant while in isolation. Glory Hole-eluiah   (vice.com) divider line
49
    More: Weeners, Ape, Agile gibbon, Male, Gibbon, Pregnancy, Terms of service, Japan, Human physical appearance  
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3586 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2023 at 8:45 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Boudyro [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 7:23:39 PM  
Everything about that story pisses me off. Why are they keeping a social animal isolated like that, and how are the zookeepers surprised she'd be protective of the only other living thing they let get close to her?
 
Ghastly [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 7:24:50 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
beezeltown [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 7:49:41 PM  
I would have figured a Silence of the Lambs style flinging and a lucky shot...apparently, though, a 9mm hole in the wall was all that was necessary.
 
iheartscotch
2023-02-01 8:46:24 PM  
Life.....finds a way.
 
Priapetic [BareFark]
2023-02-01 8:47:38 PM  
So which Senator was it anyway?
 
maxandgrinch [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 8:50:49 PM  
'...agile gibbon.'  Sounds like they're appropriately named.
 
mistahtom
2023-02-01 8:53:10 PM  
This is what happens when you don't spank the monkey.
 
Fano
2023-02-01 8:54:50 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size

INRI
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 8:54:54 PM  

mistahtom: This is what happens when you don't spank the monkey.


... or shock it.
 
KodosZardoz
2023-02-01 8:55:58 PM  
You mammals shooting DNA at each other. I find it disgusting!
 
Aquapope
2023-02-01 8:56:11 PM  
The guy from ZZ Top?
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 9:00:31 PM  

Aquapope: The guy from ZZ Top?


The guy who ate pine trees?
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 9:00:47 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Mangoose [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 9:01:09 PM  

Boudyro: Everything about that story pisses me off. Why are they keeping a social animal isolated like that, and how are the zookeepers surprised she'd be protective of the only other living thing they let get close to her?


This might explain it: Gibbons live in small monogamous circles: Parents & Juveniles. There tends to be 1-3 juveniles in each pack. Parents tend to pair up and stay paired and kids grow and leave the pack to form their own.

So they don't, actually, want to be in a pack with Mark from down the street. They want to pair. I would be curious if they didn't attempt to move the mates together. But I am no biologist or zoologist, so take my thirty seconds of google and my reaction for what it is. A man in his underpants typing on his computer.
 
WTFDYW [BareFark]
2023-02-01 9:02:16 PM  
It's not the first glory hole pregnancy for certain.
 
DrWhy
2023-02-01 9:03:10 PM  
So basically it's "Planet of the Apes" meets "Porky's"
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 9:10:15 PM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image 332x480] [View Full Size image _x_]


The line forms behind me.

Plz be polite and orderly here, people.
 
HoratioGates
2023-02-01 9:18:06 PM  
Wasn't there an old story from Greek mythology like this?
 
Erma Gerdd
2023-02-01 9:19:14 PM  

DrWhy: So basically it's "Planet of the Apes" meets "Porky's"


whataboutthetwinkie.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
Space Squid
2023-02-01 9:19:40 PM  
Well, also....   humans and gibbons share 96% of the same DNA....  aaaaaand this is Japan we're talking about.

Might be worth doing some paternity tests on the zookeepers too.

/I'm just saying, someone might have farked a gibbon.
//I mean how many of us have been down a dark alley of the web only to stumble across a video of a Japanese chick screwing an octopus?
///Really hope I'm not the only one here...
 
El_Dan
2023-02-01 9:23:53 PM  
Gibbon Jesus incoming.
 
DrWhy
2023-02-01 9:25:27 PM  

HoratioGates: Wasn't there an old story from Greek mythology like this?


The phrase "there is nothing new under the sun" is true largely due to Greek mythology.
 
LoneVVolf
2023-02-01 9:26:50 PM  
"Yamano said the apes' point of contact was probably a hole in the wall measuring nine millimeters in diameter."

I don't want to propagate Japanese stereotypes here, but...
 
jaytkay [OhFark]
2023-02-01 9:29:58 PM  
It was inconceivable to the zookeepers that they could have mated...

th.bing.comView Full Size
 
knbwhite
2023-02-01 9:30:08 PM  

WTFDYW: It's not the first glory hole pregnancy for certain.


How is your mom, BTW?
 
JustHereForThePics
2023-02-01 9:44:54 PM  

LoneVVolf: "Yamano said the apes' point of contact was probably a hole in the wall measuring nine millimeters in diameter."

I don't want to propagate Japanese stereotypes here, but...


I mean, it's not even like God's own .45 sized hole.
 
JustHereForThePics
2023-02-01 9:46:13 PM  

jaytkay: It was inconceivable to the zookeepers that they could have mated...

[th.bing.com image 474x474]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
starlost
2023-02-01 9:49:04 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

Boudyro: Everything about that story pisses me off. Why are they keeping a social animal isolated like that, and how are the zookeepers surprised she'd be protective of the only other living thing they let get close to her?
 
BrerRobot
2023-02-01 9:49:21 PM  
Yamano said the apes' point of contact was probably a hole in the wall measuring nine millimeters in diameter.
eaglemaniacal.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

Regrets
 
Barricaded Gunman
2023-02-01 9:50:07 PM  

beezeltown: I would have figured a Silence of the Lambs style flinging and a lucky shot...apparently, though, a 9mm hole in the wall was all that was necessary.


And who knew that monkey even had a 9mm?
 
Gordon Bennett [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 9:51:52 PM  
The Goodies "Funky Gibbon"
Youtube iAmx_XdQky8
 
mistahtom
2023-02-01 9:58:24 PM  

Erma Gerdd: DrWhy: So basically it's "Planet of the Apes" meets "Porky's"

[whataboutthetwinkie.files.wordpress.com image 630x346]


That shower tile reminds me of....

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 9:59:05 PM  

knbwhite: WTFDYW: It's not the first glory hole pregnancy for certain.

How is your mom, BTW?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Mr. Shabooboo
2023-02-01 10:01:14 PM  

LoneVVolf: "Yamano said the apes' point of contact was probably a hole in the wall measuring nine millimeters in diameter."

I don't want to propagate Japanese stereotypes here, but...


I don't know how they even get an accurate measurement of that...You get close to it and it just becomes
blurry pixels...
 
Samfucious [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 10:11:29 PM  
Without the explanation, this would make a passable premise for an anime - "The Gibbon Christ".
 
Marcos P
2023-02-01 10:26:01 PM  
No shiat have you seen how long their arms are

Fark user imageView Full Size


Hehe tiny ape
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 10:28:26 PM  
I hope that same zoo does not try to exhibit any species of duck.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 10:40:59 PM  

Aquapope: The guy from ZZ Top?


I was thinking of something like, gibbons get pregnant in isolation, but how how how how?  That's pretty on the nose and direct though.
 
Rapmaster2000
2023-02-01 11:11:25 PM  
preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
Excelsior
2023-02-01 11:12:01 PM  

LoneVVolf: "Yamano said the apes' point of contact was probably a hole in the wall measuring nine millimeters in diameter."

I don't want to propagate Japanese stereotypes here, but...


FWIW, compared to the other primates humans are comically oversized in that department.
Gorillas can be close to 6 feet tall and weigh 375 lbs, but measure a mere 3-6cm erect (1.2 - 2.3 inches)

/Cue Farkers bragging that they're hung like gorillas while trying to pick up someone at the bar
 
Excelsior
2023-02-01 11:14:53 PM  

fragMasterFlash: I hope that same zoo does not try to exhibit any species of duck.


SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE™: DUCKTALES (REUPLOAD)
Youtube Z-lDJgNLDl4


/duck dick is corkscrew shaped and measures 2/3rds of the full length of their body
 
Loucifer
2023-02-01 11:29:14 PM  
Macaque was not involved.
 
keldaria
2023-02-01 11:35:35 PM  

Excelsior: LoneVVolf: "Yamano said the apes' point of contact was probably a hole in the wall measuring nine millimeters in diameter."

I don't want to propagate Japanese stereotypes here, but...

FWIW, compared to the other primates humans are comically oversized in that department.
Gorillas can be close to 6 feet tall and weigh 375 lbs, but measure a mere 3-6cm erect (1.2 - 2.3 inches)

/Cue Farkers bragging that they're hung like gorillas while trying to pick up someone at the bar


You seem to know a lot about monkey penis's... penii? Whatever the plural form of penis is, you know a lot about the monkey form of them.
 
Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle
2023-02-02 12:30:14 AM  
The male gibbon says that they mis-measured the hole and he swears it was well over a centimeter.
 
backhand.slap.of.reason
2023-02-02 2:09:16 AM  
I'm going to go with someone paired them on a lark.
 
mengelji [OhFark]
2023-02-02 2:18:19 AM  
It's that old joke again -
The zookeeper asks, "Would you have sex with a gibbon for $500?" and his brother in law says,
"Okay, but it'll take me some time to scrape up the money..."
 
KB202
2023-02-02 2:34:18 AM  

Space Squid: Well, also....   humans and gibbons share 96% of the same DNA....  aaaaaand this is Japan we're talking about.

Might be worth doing some paternity tests on the zookeepers too.

/I'm just saying, someone might have farked a gibbon.
//I mean how many of us have been down a dark alley of the web only to stumble across a video of a Japanese chick screwing an octopus?
///Really hope I'm not the only one here...


I heard it was a sick gibbon.
 
DrWhy
2023-02-02 2:35:32 AM  

jaytkay: It was inconceivable to the zookeepers that they could have mated...

[th.bing.com image 474x474]


They keep using that word.  I don't think it means what they think it means.
 
Marksrevenge
2023-02-02 5:28:16 AM  
I was chuckling to myself at the mental image of a monkey poking its junk through a hole in the wall hoping to get lucky... and then realized humans do the exact same thing.
 
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