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(Refinery29)   What I learned about dating burnout from 50 first dates. In a row? Buried lede: it ends in ketamine treatment   (refinery29.com) divider line
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    More: Interesting, Phenomenon, Self, Question, A Sense of Purpose, dating app burnout, Time, first dates, knee-deep  
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274 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Main » on 01 Feb 2023 at 11:05 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



22 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Merltech
2023-02-01 11:12:20 AM  
Sounds like your not compatible with anything. Even a robot or realdoll.
 
eKonk
2023-02-01 11:20:06 AM  
150 first dates, subby, not 50.  That's as many as fifteen tens! And that's terrible.

I guess my biggest question is - how bad is this person that they can't get a second date?

There's some saying about the difference between meeting one asshole and when everyone you meet is an asshole that might apply here....

My other guess is that maybe she uses this as a way to get free meals regularly.
 
Madison_Smiled [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 11:20:20 AM  
Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.
 
Uncontrolled_Jibe
2023-02-01 11:29:39 AM  
Seems like the article didn't really have anything one might actually consider "learning".   Well, even if it had anything then it wouldn't be applicable for most of y'all anyway.   If some of y'all use the same sweeping statements in the IRL relationships you have as ya'll do here, there's not much chance of a 2nd toothbrush by the sink
 
bostonguy [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 11:32:04 AM  

Madison_Smiled: Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.


Very similar to a friend of mine who is desparate to have a child (she's 40). Ugh.
 
Madison_Smiled [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 11:39:15 AM  

bostonguy: Madison_Smiled: Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.

Very similar to a friend of mine who is desparate to have a child (she's 40). Ugh.


I used to know a guy like that. And he met a woman like that. And they rushed into things because their biological clocks were ticking too loud for them to listen to any sense. She wasn't even halfway through her pregnancy when she decided he wasn't the guy for her after all. Last I heard from him, he got to see his 3-year-old child on the weekends and was not moving on with his life because he was still stuck in that "maybe we'll get back together" mindset. I hope he managed to find happiness. He wanted a family more than anything.
 
Bith Set Me Up
2023-02-01 11:46:11 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
sinko swimo
2023-02-01 11:51:00 AM  

Uncontrolled_Jibe: Seems like the article didn't really have anything one might actually consider "learning".   Well, even if it had anything then it wouldn't be applicable for most of y'all anyway.   If some of y'all use the same sweeping statements in the IRL relationships you have as ya'll do here, there's not much chance of a 2nd toothbrush by the sink


I was wondering if she has a book to sell. not that I would buy it. TFA really was lacking.
 
WonderDave1
2023-02-01 11:52:17 AM  

bostonguy: Madison_Smiled: Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.

Very similar to a friend of mine who is desparate to have a child (she's 40). Ugh.


I think the only bright spot I can see about re-entering the dating pool at 51 is I'm less likely to run into the ticking clock than I was 5 and ten years ago.  I found at least 2/3rds of the dates I went on were "I need to know if you're serious now because I want a baby within the year" or "I haven't decided if I want to have kids, but maybe once you've invested in the relationship I'll decide that I do."

Not saying I won't have those dates, I have frequently said that if a 25yr old billionaire super-model wants me to knock her up and let me stay at home with the child, I would be open to negotiation.... but those are not frequently on plenty-o-fish, in my experience...
 
Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient
2023-02-01 11:56:55 AM  
WonderDave1:

Not saying I won't have those dates, I have frequently said that if a 25yr old billionaire super-model wants me to knock her up and let me stay at home with the child, I would be open to negotiation.... but those are not frequently on plenty-o-fish, in my experience...


Are you sure? Because they keep emailing me, and I'm not even on PoF,

or Match ... or Tinder ... or Linkd-In ... or Ancestry ... or Grammarly.
 
Fear the Clam
2023-02-01 12:02:49 PM  
I grew sick and tired of having the same basic convos over and over again

Probably be less sick if you stopped using terms like "convo."
 
PoweredByIrony
2023-02-01 12:43:28 PM  

Fear the Clam: I grew sick and tired of having the same basic convos over and over again

Probably be less sick if you stopped using terms like "convo."


Yah that was totes fr obvi.
 
Stephen_Falken [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-02-01 1:14:32 PM  

PoweredByIrony: Fear the Clam: I grew sick and tired of having the same basic convos over and over again

Probably be less sick if you stopped using terms like "convo."

Yah that was totes fr obvi.


Fo sho, max cheugy, no cap
 
WonderDave1
2023-02-01 1:32:06 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: WonderDave1:

Not saying I won't have those dates, I have frequently said that if a 25yr old billionaire super-model wants me to knock her up and let me stay at home with the child, I would be open to negotiation.... but those are not frequently on plenty-o-fish, in my experience...


Are you sure? Because they keep emailing me, and I'm not even on PoF,

or Match ... or Tinder ... or Linkd-In ... or Ancestry ... or Grammarly.


:)  Reminds me of something our old e-mail admin used to say, "I used to worry about all the erectile dysfunction and impotence e-mails I get, but at least I know there are lots of 20yr old Eastern European women who think I'm amazing!"
 
Barnhawk72
2023-02-01 1:36:54 PM  
At times I swiped so much I lost the feeling in my fingers.

NTTAWTW
 
ytterbium [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 2:19:58 PM  

WonderDave1: bostonguy: Madison_Smiled: Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.

Very similar to a friend of mine who is desparate to have a child (she's 40). Ugh.

I think the only bright spot I can see about re-entering the dating pool at 51 is I'm less likely to run into the ticking clock than I was 5 and ten years ago.  I found at least 2/3rds of the dates I went on were "I need to know if you're serious now because I want a baby within the year" or "I haven't decided if I want to have kids, but maybe once you've invested in the relationship I'll decide that I do."

Not saying I won't have those dates, I have frequently said that if a 25yr old billionaire super-model wants me to knock her up and let me stay at home with the child, I would be open to negotiation.... but those are not frequently on plenty-o-fish, in my experience...


How about dating women your age so reproduction isn't an issue?
 
Chevello
2023-02-01 2:25:04 PM  

WonderDave1: bostonguy: Madison_Smiled: Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.

Very similar to a friend of mine who is desparate to have a child (she's 40). Ugh.

I think the only bright spot I can see about re-entering the dating pool at 51 is I'm less likely to run into the ticking clock than I was 5 and ten years ago.  I found at least 2/3rds of the dates I went on were "I need to know if you're serious now because I want a baby within the year" or "I haven't decided if I want to have kids, but maybe once you've invested in the relationship I'll decide that I do."

Not saying I won't have those dates, I have frequently said that if a 25yr old billionaire super-model wants me to knock her up and let me stay at home with the child, I would be open to negotiation.... but those are not frequently on plenty-o-fish, in my experience...


You're a braver man than I. I've got one more kid left at home, and I can't WAIT until the stress of child rearing is over. If I run across one of those billionaire supermodels who wants kids, I'll send her your way because I'm not doing it.

My 14YO daughter keeps trying to set me up with her friends' moms. Her friends always seem to the the oldest of 3 or 4. Not a chance.
 
WonderDave1
2023-02-01 2:31:19 PM  

ytterbium: WonderDave1: bostonguy: Madison_Smiled: Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.

Very similar to a friend of mine who is desparate to have a child (she's 40). Ugh.

I think the only bright spot I can see about re-entering the dating pool at 51 is I'm less likely to run into the ticking clock than I was 5 and ten years ago.  I found at least 2/3rds of the dates I went on were "I need to know if you're serious now because I want a baby within the year" or "I haven't decided if I want to have kids, but maybe once you've invested in the relationship I'll decide that I do."

Not saying I won't have those dates, I have frequently said that if a 25yr old billionaire super-model wants me to knock her up and let me stay at home with the child, I would be open to negotiation.... but those are not frequently on plenty-o-fish, in my experience...

How about dating women your age so reproduction isn't an issue?


That's kind of what I was getting at.  My preferred dating pool at 51 is roughly 46-55, which should mitigate the problem.  Dating 5-10 yrs ago I was dating a lot in the 36-45 pool and there was sometimes a palpable sense of urgency.

I have nothing against people wanting children later in life.  I have a good friend who had his first at fifty.  It's just not for me, and there were many times I felt that, even when I was up-front about it, my date felt there was room to negotiate. Or donate.
 
bostonguy [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 2:37:39 PM  

WonderDave1: It's just not for me, and there were many times I felt that, even when I was up-front about it, my date felt there was room to negotiate.


From memory, this was a conversation on a dating app from a woman (late 30s) who messaged me.

[she suggests coffee or something]

Me: You seem nice, but I don't want children. So, it would be a waste of time. I'm sorry.

Her: Who said anything about children?

Me: Your profile says you want children. I never, ever will. I would not want to waste your time or mine.

[she never messages again]

Maybe I should not be so blunt. But it's the truth. I don't want to waste anyone's time.
 
WonderDave1
2023-02-01 2:43:50 PM  

bostonguy: WonderDave1: It's just not for me, and there were many times I felt that, even when I was up-front about it, my date felt there was room to negotiate.

From memory, this was a conversation on a dating app from a woman (late 30s) who messaged me.

[she suggests coffee or something]

Me: You seem nice, but I don't want children. So, it would be a waste of time. I'm sorry.

Her: Who said anything about children?

Me: Your profile says you want children. I never, ever will. I would not want to waste your time or mine.

[she never messages again]

Maybe I should not be so blunt. But it's the truth. I don't want to waste anyone's time.


Yes, I have been that blunt as well.  And you're right, it saves time.
 
ytterbium [TotalFark]
2023-02-01 3:10:10 PM  

WonderDave1: ytterbium: WonderDave1: bostonguy: Madison_Smiled: Desperate not to be alone

Well, there's your problem right there.

Very similar to a friend of mine who is desparate to have a child (she's 40). Ugh.

I think the only bright spot I can see about re-entering the dating pool at 51 is I'm less likely to run into the ticking clock than I was 5 and ten years ago.  I found at least 2/3rds of the dates I went on were "I need to know if you're serious now because I want a baby within the year" or "I haven't decided if I want to have kids, but maybe once you've invested in the relationship I'll decide that I do."

Not saying I won't have those dates, I have frequently said that if a 25yr old billionaire super-model wants me to knock her up and let me stay at home with the child, I would be open to negotiation.... but those are not frequently on plenty-o-fish, in my experience...

How about dating women your age so reproduction isn't an issue?

That's kind of what I was getting at.  My preferred dating pool at 51 is roughly 46-55, which should mitigate the problem.  Dating 5-10 yrs ago I was dating a lot in the 36-45 pool and there was sometimes a palpable sense of urgency.

I have nothing against people wanting children later in life.  I have a good friend who had his first at fifty.  It's just not for me, and there were many times I felt that, even when I was up-front about it, my date felt there was room to negotiate. Or donate.


It really is quite a shift. Now it's about who you'd enjoy spending time with more than anything, assuming both people are self-sufficient.

The pool is a lot smaller though, and you know too quickly whether there's any reason to bother.
 
yakmans_dad
2023-02-01 6:12:58 PM  
I pretty much quit dating after high school. (25 dates total? Can't remember.)

/Met The Real Deal at a party. We never dated. Just clicked.
//Good luck.
 
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