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(Guardian)   A record number of parishioners are leaving churches. So much so, that there are deals to be made if you want to buy one   (theguardian.com) divider line
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    More: Interesting, Religion, Catholic Church, France, Millennials, Christianity, High school, University of Chicago, Islam  
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3282 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 31 Jan 2023 at 5:32 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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OdradekRex [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 3:49:49 PM  
Dibs on Mee Maw.
 
aleister_greynight [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 4:05:22 PM  
There's one near here that was bought and turned into a brewery.
 
Martian_Astronomer [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 4:21:02 PM  
"But it has also created a boom market for those wanting to buy churches, with former houses of worship now finding new life."

"This is good news for plucky bands of ghost hunters, time traveling military operatives, burned spies trying to lay low, and brooding vampires alike, as more stylish, open floorplan hideouts are hitting the market than ever before."
 
Phaedrus the Vague [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 5:15:03 PM  
I surveyed a church that some dude bought. Not sure if it was just a cheap property to him, or if he was tax-scamming. Really weird seeing a family living in a sanctuary among the pews. I am not religious but it just felt unsettling to me.
 
enry [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 5:15:50 PM  

aleister_greynight: There's one near here that was bought and turned into a brewery.


Amen!
 
Exile On Beale Street [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:18:07 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
Weatherkiss [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:33:56 PM  
This country will never be lacking for churches.
 
Bith Set Me Up
2023-01-31 5:34:38 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
gilatrout [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:36:31 PM  
I had a parishioner once. It was stringy and gamey and too much gristle to make it worth the effort
 
SirDigbyChickenCaesar
2023-01-31 5:36:35 PM  

Phaedrus the Vague: I surveyed a church that some dude bought. Not sure if it was just a cheap property to him, or if he was tax-scamming. Really weird seeing a family living in a sanctuary among the pews. I am not religious but it just felt unsettling to me.


A close friend bought a funeral home from the 50s and turned it into a house. Talk about freaky.
 
Unobtanium [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:36:57 PM  

aleister_greynight: There's one near here that was bought and turned into a brewery.


This one is in Pittsburgh: Church Brew Works.

Fark user imageView Full Size


I'm Presbyterian, and I'd rather see adaptive reuse of architecturally interesting church buildings than to see them torn down for another parking lot or high-rise.
 
mongbiohazard [BareFark]
2023-01-31 5:38:15 PM  
The faster the better. Mankind will never be free before the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
 
StoPPeRmobile
2023-01-31 5:38:22 PM  
Just convert them to Feeling Safe Place and rake in all that virtuous case and feelings.
 
iheartscotch
2023-01-31 5:39:26 PM  
It's pretty simple.

We paid attention at Sunday School, you Red Hatted fascists.

The difference between Sunday School and what Christianity is actually about...pain, death, racism and bigotry....is so obvious that anyone who actually thinks about it will spot the difference.
 
whither_apophis [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 5:39:57 PM  
this kind of big, growing separation of kind of traditional Christian moral morality," Bullivant said.

Which traditional morality? The one where Jesus said help the poor, sick, and infirmed? Or the one where pastors/priests stand around judging everyone while sinning nine ways to Sunday?
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:42:35 PM  
I wouldn't mind buying an old smalltown church and converting it into something else like shops or a café. It might be a dealbreaker if the former church attendees want to act all butthurt over such a project.
 
DuneClimber
2023-01-31 5:43:09 PM  
Synagogues are having the same problem. I'm pretty sure the place I belong to won't exist by the end of the year. I don't know if I'll join another one after that.

None of you Godless heathens ever comes to services! Repent, ye Farkers!
 
leeksfromchichis [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 5:43:30 PM  

aleister_greynight: There's one near here that was bought and turned into a brewery.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


Beer for the Beer God!
Pints for the Pint Throne!
 
Exile On Beale Street [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:43:59 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Phaedrus the Vague: I surveyed a church that some dude bought. Not sure if it was just a cheap property to him, or if he was tax-scamming. Really weird seeing a family living in a sanctuary among the pews. I am not religious but it just felt unsettling to me.

A close friend bought a funeral home from the 50s and turned it into a house. Talk about freaky.


There's a guy here who does hardwood floors. His work vehicle is a hearse emblazoned with "We Bring Your Floors Back To Life"
 
Jeebus Saves
2023-01-31 5:44:18 PM  

whither_apophis: this kind of big, growing separation of kind of traditional Christian moral morality," Bullivant said.

Which traditional morality? The one where Jesus said help the poor, sick, and infirmed? Or the one where pastors/priests stand around judging everyone while sinning nine ways to Sunday?


You're missing the best part of christianity.  All you have to do is say sorry before you die.  Live life however you want and go to heaven.
 
mongbiohazard [BareFark]
2023-01-31 5:45:43 PM  
FTFA:
That aside, closures are often due to a failure of churches to adapt.
"A church will go through a life cycle. At some point, maybe the congregation ages out, maybe they stop reaching young families.
"If the church ages and doesn't reach young people, or the demographics change and they don't figure out how to reach the new demographic, that church ends up closing.

Old people are dying off and taking their old bigotries to the grave with them and you like bigotry SO MUCH that you can't even consider letting it go and pretending to not be bigoted even to save your beloved congregation?

i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
madgonad [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:45:59 PM  
One of my attorney friends bought a church and turned it into law offices. This church was a splinter of the Mormon church. They broke away because the rest of the Mormons were far too liberal for them. It is being put to much better use now.
 
Bennie Crabtree
2023-01-31 5:46:15 PM  
I am kinda angry wth myself for not having money to buy a church and live inside it. Apart from the heating bill, I think it would be amazing to live in stained glass and vaulted ceilings. That, and omg, the goth parties I would throw. the acoustics would be mind-blowing. I guess it's kinda weird to have the kitchen in the basement but whatever.
 
Tom Marvolo Bombadil
2023-01-31 5:46:29 PM  
Are there bulk discounts?  I'm going to need quite a few for my new gladiator arena.

/anyone know where to get lions?
 
cranked
2023-01-31 5:47:24 PM  
Can you tell this Pizza Hut used to be a church?
 
Another Government Employee
2023-01-31 5:48:06 PM  
I was snooping in Facebook Marketplace a couple of months ago and there is a Realtor here in Atlanta that specializes in failed Big Box Churches. She had about a dozen listed all over the metro area, mostly in suburban locations. Those are not easy buildings to repurpose.
 
kozlo [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:48:30 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Down the street from me. Someone bought an old church in 2005 and turned it into a residence. Would love to tour. Can't find a good picture that does it justice.
 
TheSubjunctive
2023-01-31 5:49:39 PM  
Sigh, but they're obviously not in any way bound to market economics.  Little county seat town of 1,500...  12 churches. 12 roofs and HVACs and parking lot lines and coffee pots and the rest.  The Catholics get 40 to mass, nobody else gets much over 20, maybe 30-some on Christmas/Easter.  And yet... 12 churches just keeps happening?  Could we get to just one Catholic, one "as tolerant as the area gets" mainline church (merging the Methodists, Presbys, Nazarenes) and one "MAGA Jesus" church?  Am I crazy to think that would be enough?
 
Bennie Crabtree
2023-01-31 5:49:51 PM  

Jeebus Saves: whither_apophis: this kind of big, growing separation of kind of traditional Christian moral morality," Bullivant said.

Which traditional morality? The one where Jesus said help the poor, sick, and infirmed? Or the one where pastors/priests stand around judging everyone while sinning nine ways to Sunday?

You're missing the best part of christianity.  All you have to do is say sorry before you die.  Live life however you want and go to heaven.


This is one of the reasons I tend to think Catholicism with its Purgatory, need for communion, and recognition of intercessors to guide conversaion, is closer to a coherent cosmology than so many Evengelical theologies that seem to think salvation is cheap and easy, and only a brief contract with the Lord. Not that I'm saying I think it's logical, but as Christianity goes, Catholicism has no cheat codes (and when they tried, it triggered the Reformation).
 
Bennie Crabtree
2023-01-31 5:50:56 PM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: Are there bulk discounts?  I'm going to need quite a few for my new gladiator arena.

/anyone know where to get lions?


Kenya: Where Can You See Lions? : animated music video : MrWeebl
Youtube FbYtASAakAI
 
gameshowhost [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:51:00 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 5:51:22 PM  
🐈 📰  💰 ⛪
 
damageddude [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 5:51:27 PM  
I lived in NYC. Even 20 plus years ago former churches were being converted into apartments and nightclubs. The congregation I grew up with merged with another and our former building became an apartment building. These days I "attend" services online/JBS.
 
austerity101 [BareFark]
2023-01-31 5:51:40 PM  

TheSubjunctive: Sigh, but they're obviously not in any way bound to market economics.  Little county seat town of 1,500...  12 churches. 12 roofs and HVACs and parking lot lines and coffee pots and the rest.  The Catholics get 40 to mass, nobody else gets much over 20, maybe 30-some on Christmas/Easter.  And yet... 12 churches just keeps happening?  Could we get to just one Catholic, one "as tolerant as the area gets" mainline church (merging the Methodists, Presbys, Nazarenes) and one "MAGA Jesus" church?  Am I crazy to think that would be enough?


I'm sorry, you think that the Methodists and Presbyterians are gonna hook up with the Nazarenes? You might as well suggest the Unitarian Universalists get together with Jehovah's Witnesses.
 
eKonk
2023-01-31 5:52:25 PM  
There was one near me that was for sale a little while ago. My son had the idea to buy it and turn it into something of a movie theater - you set up a projector in the choir loft and have the crucified Jesus hold a big projection screen in his outstretched hands (you can feed support cables or whatever through the holes in his hands).

It was a good idea, but we never followed through...
 
StoPPeRmobile
2023-01-31 5:52:59 PM  

Weatherkiss: This country will never be lacking for churches.


7 that I was aware of within a quarter mile radius of my home at one time. Bizarre.
 
eKonk
2023-01-31 5:53:45 PM  
Another idea, so I hear, is that you could buy a church and live in the bell tower, which would mean you'd have a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be (seeing as how you'd take out all the pews). Then you wouldn't have to take out your garbage for a really long time!
 
qorkfiend [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 5:55:30 PM  

mongbiohazard: The faster the better. Mankind will never be free before the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.


It's funny how you think the guy doing the strangling won't be setting himself up as king
 
Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs
2023-01-31 5:58:05 PM  
The good deal isn't the real estate, it's in the furnishings. Church pews are cheap as hell right now. So it you want some 120 year old uncomfortable seating for 12-400 people, check Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist.
 
Jeebus Saves
2023-01-31 6:00:14 PM  

austerity101: TheSubjunctive: Sigh, but they're obviously not in any way bound to market economics.  Little county seat town of 1,500...  12 churches. 12 roofs and HVACs and parking lot lines and coffee pots and the rest.  The Catholics get 40 to mass, nobody else gets much over 20, maybe 30-some on Christmas/Easter.  And yet... 12 churches just keeps happening?  Could we get to just one Catholic, one "as tolerant as the area gets" mainline church (merging the Methodists, Presbys, Nazarenes) and one "MAGA Jesus" church?  Am I crazy to think that would be enough?

I'm sorry, you think that the Methodists and Presbyterians are gonna hook up with the Nazarenes? You might as well suggest the Unitarian Universalists get together with Jehovah's Witnesses.


Airplane Missionaries
Youtube qse_wf57tZM
 
detonator
2023-01-31 6:01:11 PM  

aleister_greynight: There's one near here that was bought and turned into a brewery.


CSB
When I opened my bar in 1992 (John Henry's, Eugene,OR) we came really close to buying a African American Baptist church that was abandoned. We went through the building and it needed way too much work than we could afford to pay for at the time, but we found the minister who ran the place and set up a meeting just to ask if he would sell to us.
He had a huge house in a pretty nice neighborhood that he was using as a replacement church and also ran a day care center there. It was apparent that all the money he was making was through the church one way or another. While going through the building we even found records of him leasing the church back to the parishioners.
He wanted $80k, with $60k in cash. We passed and ended up opening a 300 capacity bar for under $20k.
That guy eventually put money back into his church and it's still operating today. It's less than a block away from the Eugene Mission, so it was probably a good thing that deal didn't work out.
 
Mrtraveler01
2023-01-31 6:02:22 PM  
I hardly go to Mass anymore (grew up Catholic).

Last mass I went to, the "homily" was about Pope Francis not apologizing for the Church's role in the abuses caused by the Residential Schools in Canada and insinuated that the whole things is being overblown and being used to silence the Church.

This was in a church near Pittsburgh oddly enough. So obviously most of the people there probably aren't in tune with the whole residental school controversy up there.

Me on the other hand loves Canada and reads CBC, CTV, and Global's website occasionally.
 
darkman2000
2023-01-31 6:06:45 PM  
In my younger days I thought buying a small church building and turning it into a home with a kick-ass home theater system would be cool.
Now I don't have the ambition to do all that remodel work myself and a modern big 4k is (almost) good enough.
 
stevenvictx
2023-01-31 6:07:08 PM  
Still more than too many left around here, they are like nail salons.
 
mongbiohazard [BareFark]
2023-01-31 6:07:19 PM  

qorkfiend: mongbiohazard: The faster the better. Mankind will never be free before the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

It's funny how you think the guy doing the strangling won't be setting himself up as king


Nah, that's Frank. He's a good guy.
 
Loucifer
2023-01-31 6:10:12 PM  
Churches are a fantastic method for laundering money. Cash from the collection plate is immaculate. Just saying.
 
kmgenesis23
2023-01-31 6:10:18 PM  
I saw a while back that John Scalzi bought a church.

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2022/11/10/the-old-church/
 
kmgenesis23
2023-01-31 6:13:58 PM  

eKonk: Another idea, so I hear, is that you could buy a church and live in the bell tower, which would mean you'd have a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be (seeing as how you'd take out all the pews). Then you wouldn't have to take out your garbage for a really long time!


Keep thinking like that and you'll end up on the Group W bench.
 
Nick Nostril
2023-01-31 6:15:53 PM  
They turned one of the old Cathedrally ones in downtown Dayton, OH into a climbing wall gym. Fun stuff.

/ if you fall to your death, you don't have far to go for your funeral
 
Surpheon
2023-01-31 6:16:35 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Jeebus Saves: whither_apophis: this kind of big, growing separation of kind of traditional Christian moral morality," Bullivant said.

Which traditional morality? The one where Jesus said help the poor, sick, and infirmed? Or the one where pastors/priests stand around judging everyone while sinning nine ways to Sunday?

You're missing the best part of christianity.  All you have to do is say sorry before you die.  Live life however you want and go to heaven.

This is one of the reasons I tend to think Catholicism with its Purgatory, need for communion, and recognition of intercessors to guide conversaion, is closer to a coherent cosmology than so many Evengelical theologies that seem to think salvation is cheap and easy, and only a brief contract with the Lord. Not that I'm saying I think it's logical, but as Christianity goes, Catholicism has no cheat codes (and when they tried, it triggered the Reformation).


The Catholic party line is also as hard core against the death penalty and euthanasia as abortion.
 
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