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(Zillow)   Who wouldn't want an old crematory   (zillow.com) divider line
80
    More: Interesting, Room, Ownership, second story, flea market, Bathroom, storage space, Museum, waiting area  
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3727 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2023 at 3:35 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



80 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Farking Clown Shoes [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 2:48:06 PM  
I'd live in a disused ice cream factory.
 
Nick Nostril
2023-01-31 3:37:18 PM  
Convert it to a pizza joint. I'm sure nobody will care.
 
Tchernobog
2023-01-31 3:37:30 PM  
"new plumbing" "3 of the 4 bathrooms don't work"

Oh.
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 3:37:52 PM  
People are just dying to get in...
It's a fire sale...
Hurry, before this offer goes up in smoke!

//there are more..
 
flucto
2023-01-31 3:38:15 PM  
I'd need some cows first.
 
Nick Nostril
2023-01-31 3:38:28 PM  
Located in Kansas, on Ohio street. Talk about worst of both worlds.
 
frankb00th
2023-01-31 3:40:17 PM  
Has some serious 6 feet under vibes
 
Mikey1969 [OhFark]
2023-01-31 3:43:10 PM  
Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.
 
cyberspacedout
2023-01-31 3:44:03 PM  
Zillow threads need a "Yeah... good luck with that" tag.
 
Pointy Tail of Satan
2023-01-31 3:44:40 PM  
Actually, I find this parallel listing even more interesting.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/720-Commercial-St-Oswego-KS-67356/77205488_zpid/?
 
whidbey
2023-01-31 3:45:15 PM  

Nick Nostril: Located in Kansas, on Ohio street. Talk about worst of both worlds.


Might be a good place to disappear, though.
 
pounddawg
2023-01-31 3:47:34 PM  

Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.


BBQ  --  Cumin and Goin'
 
zeroflight222
2023-01-31 3:47:53 PM  
As long as the building itself is sound I'd be game if it were in my town.

CSB: Way back when I was debating about taking a particular job in a small town (but with large city salary), there was an old church in good condition I was going to buy had I taken the job.  Had a very large, beautiful, round stained glass window letting southern sun come into the sanctuary area.  Oh the various reno dreams I had for it.
 
Subtonic
2023-01-31 3:48:04 PM  
All the frozen custard you can eat!
 
groppet
2023-01-31 3:48:24 PM  
Well I would spring for a new oven of course.
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 3:48:43 PM  
Looks like the roof failed and the interior damage has never been properly dealt with. It's a teardown, IMHO.
 
KC Dutchman [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 3:50:28 PM  
Crematorium operators made big money making evidence go away for La Cosa Nostra (until, of course, they ended up in the oven themselves when the cops start asking questions!)
 
whidbey
2023-01-31 3:50:57 PM  

frankb00th: Has some serious 6 feet under vibes


More like "Jacob's Ladder."
 
Erma Gerdd
2023-01-31 3:54:25 PM  
Previous owner apparently Peppo the Dwarf.
photos.zillowstatic.comView Full Size

/well it looks like a noose
 
Claude Ballse
2023-01-31 3:54:41 PM  

Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.


Already been done...sort of.

We had a local barbecue joint here in Vegas over on Rainbow Blvd. that went out of business years ago.

It reopened as a crematorium.

s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size


https://www.nolandalla.com/look-what-this-las-vegas-barbecue-joint-turned-into/amp/
 
mossberg
2023-01-31 3:54:51 PM  
Looks like it's been stripped of all the radiators, and I'd seriously doubt any of the plumbing or electrical is functional outside of the kitchen, maybe.  Also has a major cat infestation.
 
skilly
2023-01-31 4:02:58 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
That can't possibly be up to code.
 
SoupJohnB [BareFark]
2023-01-31 4:06:47 PM  

Claude Ballse: Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.

Already been done...sort of.

We had a local barbecue joint here in Vegas over on Rainbow Blvd. that went out of business years ago.

It reopened as a crematorium.


Does it have a drive-thru?
 
TenJed_77
2023-01-31 4:07:06 PM  
Only if they left the oven.
 
SoupJohnB [BareFark]
2023-01-31 4:07:42 PM  

Somaticasual: People are just dying to get in...
It's a fire sale...
Hurry, before this offer goes up in smoke!

//there are more..


That will suffice, thank you.
 
Pointy Tail of Satan
2023-01-31 4:08:38 PM  
It's rather odd, but every time I see a listing like this, I think "would this make a good place for a snooker table?"
 
danny_kay [OhFark]
2023-01-31 4:12:41 PM  
In Berlin, an old crematorium was turned into an event location, and and amazing one at that: 
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

I've been there twice, once for a book launch party in the former chapel (above), and once with a youth hackathon spread out over the entire premises.
We had the public presentation of the projects in the "Betonhalle" (below), and when we had a first look at the hall, one of the employees said with a wink "we can store up to 1600 corpses here, if necessary"
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
talkertopc [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 4:16:19 PM  

Claude Ballse: Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.

Already been done...sort of.

We had a local barbecue joint here in Vegas over on Rainbow Blvd. that went out of business years ago.

It reopened as a crematorium.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 600x400]

https://www.nolandalla.com/look-what-this-las-vegas-barbecue-joint-turned-into/amp/


Ma, why do grandpa's hashes smell so delicious?
 
X-Geek
2023-01-31 4:16:39 PM  

zeroflight222: As long as the building itself is sound I'd be game if it were in my town.


It's a little decayed, but it has good bones.
 
GreenSun
2023-01-31 4:18:47 PM  
I don't believe in ghosts, and even if there were ghosts, I don't care. I'd happily buy a cheap house where a bunch of people horrifically died. If they are ghosts there, that's fine. The price of homes and rent are way scarier than simple ghosts. They're free to watch me jack off, too. Let's see if they don't get terrified by my climax and what makes me climax.
 
gideon
2023-01-31 4:19:17 PM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Actually, I find this parallel listing even more interesting.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/720-Commercial-St-Oswego-KS-67356/77205488_zpid/?


The sleeping bag on a bare mattress sells it for me...
 
Cheron
2023-01-31 4:19:36 PM  

zeroflight222: As long as the building itself is sound I'd be game if it were in my town.

CSB: Way back when I was debating about taking a particular job in a small town (but with large city salary), there was an old church in good condition I was going to buy had I taken the job.  Had a very large, beautiful, round stained glass window letting southern sun come into the sanctuary area.  Oh the various reno dreams I had for it.


I know this one. If you live in the choir loft and fill the rest of the church with garbage make sure the dump is open.
 
Bith Set Me Up
2023-01-31 4:20:35 PM  
Who wouldn't want an old crematory


Fark user imageView Full Size


"I wouldn't."
 
bedonkadonk [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 4:23:10 PM  

GreenSun: I don't believe in ghosts, and even if there were ghosts, I don't care. I'd happily buy a cheap house where a bunch of people horrifically died. If they are ghosts there, that's fine. The price of homes and rent are way scarier than simple ghosts. They're free to watch me jack off, too. Let's see if they don't get terrified by my climax and what makes me climax.


If it's Russian midgets dressed in pleather pegging each other over a funeral pyre then we should swap videos.
/LMK
 
Alpharugger
2023-01-31 4:24:10 PM  
Hospital (with an ER), storm shelter, museum...

I mean, fer SURE this place is haunted.

Fer SURE.
 
tclayton2k [recently expired TotalFark]
2023-01-31 4:27:13 PM  
I'll do you one better. A former crematorium in Greensboro NC is about to reopen as a topless bar. One of my parents was cremated there, and yes, I'll more than likely be a customer!
 
eddie_irvine
2023-01-31 4:35:17 PM  
Patrick Bateman?
 
rnatalie [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 4:36:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Smelly Pirate Hooker
2023-01-31 4:38:57 PM  
Bed and breakfast. Duh. I assume it's already zoned commercial. A mere, eh, $300,000 more and you're good to go.
 
abhorrent1
2023-01-31 4:43:20 PM  

zeroflight222: As long as the building itself is sound I'd be game if it were in my town.

CSB: Way back when I was debating about taking a particular job in a small town (but with large city salary), there was an old church in good condition I was going to buy had I taken the job.  Had a very large, beautiful, round stained glass window letting southern sun come into the sanctuary area.  Oh the various reno dreams I had for it.


The utility cost is what would worry me for a building that big. I suppose this one you could do zone heating and cooling but I don't know how you'd do that in a church with 30' ceilings.
 
Evil Mackerel
2023-01-31 4:43:48 PM  

Tchernobog: "new plumbing" "3 of the 4 bathrooms don't work"

Oh.


They probably took parts from three bathrooms to get one functional.
 
Evil Mackerel
2023-01-31 4:46:31 PM  

abhorrent1: zeroflight222: As long as the building itself is sound I'd be game if it were in my town.

CSB: Way back when I was debating about taking a particular job in a small town (but with large city salary), there was an old church in good condition I was going to buy had I taken the job.  Had a very large, beautiful, round stained glass window letting southern sun come into the sanctuary area.  Oh the various reno dreams I had for it.

The utility cost is what would worry me for a building that big. I suppose this one you could do zone heating and cooling but I don't know how you'd do that in a church with 30' ceilings.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
kb7rky
2023-01-31 4:51:32 PM  
That's a "burn it to the ground" kind of...oh...wait...
 
spaztic lv6 cleric
2023-01-31 4:55:03 PM  

Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.


Our motto

"You stab 'em, we slab 'em"
 
Robo Beat
2023-01-31 4:57:41 PM  

Claude Ballse: Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.

Already been done...sort of.

We had a local barbecue joint here in Vegas over on Rainbow Blvd. that went out of business years ago.

It reopened as a crematorium.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 600x400]

https://www.nolandalla.com/look-what-this-las-vegas-barbecue-joint-turned-into/amp/


Sorry, but I'm only interested in crematoria that used to be a Pizza Hut.

/There has to be one or two of those somewhere in the US
 
Geotpf
2023-01-31 4:59:51 PM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Actually, I find this parallel listing even more interesting.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/720-Commercial-St-Oswego-KS-67356/77205488_zpid/?


And people complain about the price of housing.  Our choices here are a three bedroom house for the price of a GMC Sierra Denali or a mansion sized house for less than $150k.  Of course, you have to live in Butt Fark Nowhere, Kansas.
 
ShutterGirl
2023-01-31 5:07:24 PM  
I would be interested if it was not in KS, that kills the deal
 
Mikey1969 [OhFark]
2023-01-31 5:07:37 PM  

spaztic lv6 cleric: Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.

Our motto

"You stab 'em, we slab 'em"


Actually, for the crematorium, my favorite was "You croak 'em, we smoke 'em"...
 
MZach42
2023-01-31 5:07:45 PM  
This was a funeral home:  https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/500-Main-St-North-Little-Rock-AR-72114/119592718_zpid/

CSB: Friend bought it a number of years ago before the area took off as an arts/bar district.  We got a tour, including the large room with concrete floors and drains.  It's now law offices, an art gallery and his very cool home.  It has a kick butt walled garden on 2 sides.  Zillow's stats are wrong.
 
cyberspacedout
2023-01-31 5:08:01 PM  

Claude Ballse: Mikey1969: Hell yeah, I've had the thing planned for years. Make it a mixed business. Mikey's Crematorium and Barbecued Ribs.

Already been done...sort of.

We had a local barbecue joint here in Vegas over on Rainbow Blvd. that went out of business years ago.

It reopened as a crematorium.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 600x400]

https://www.nolandalla.com/look-what-this-las-vegas-barbecue-joint-turned-into/amp/


By any chance, did the barbecue joint serve fried green tomatoes?
 
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