Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mediaite)   Kimmel: "Seeing Trump return to the campaign trail is just sad. Like when Jordan went to play for the Wizards." A Grand Wizard, if you will   (mediaite.com) divider line
66
    More: Amusing, New Hampshire, Republican Party (United States), Donald Trump, Loyalty, Jimmy Kimmel, Workweek and weekend, campaign trail, Monday night opening monologue  
•       •       •

1333 clicks; posted to Politics » on 31 Jan 2023 at 11:05 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



66 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Private_Citizen [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 10:28:25 AM  
I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.
 
king of vegas
2023-01-31 11:06:49 AM  
I think he feels it gives him criminal immunity while he's a candidate, plus lots of free money.
 
Johnson [BareFark]
2023-01-31 11:09:38 AM  
TFG:  Some people compare me to Michael Jordan!
 
Zerochance
2023-01-31 11:11:00 AM  

Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning,


CItation?  Nobody's ever lost money betting on the stupidity of Americans, particularly the American conservative.
 
HighOnCraic
2023-01-31 11:11:12 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Mrtraveler01
2023-01-31 11:12:13 AM  
As I get older, I find that Kimmel's brand of sarcastic humor resonates with me more and more.
 
The Reverend Sam Hill [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 11:14:43 AM  

Zerochance: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning,

CItation?  Nobody's ever lost money betting on the stupidity of Americans, particularly the American conservative.


"No one in this world, so far as I know-and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me-has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby." -- H. L. Mencken

/Maybe Herschel Walker was the first?
 
RasIanI
2023-01-31 11:15:29 AM  
"Yellvis"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Derek Force
2023-01-31 11:15:34 AM  
to be fair, we was really sad on his first campaign trail too.... but so many americans are complete idiots.
 
Mrtraveler01
2023-01-31 11:15:40 AM  

The Reverend Sam Hill: /Maybe Herschel Walker was the first?


And he still got way too close to winning.
 
Minus1Kelvin
2023-01-31 11:15:51 AM  

The Reverend Sam Hill: Zerochance: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning,

CItation?  Nobody's ever lost money betting on the stupidity of Americans, particularly the American conservative.

"No one in this world, so far as I know-and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me-has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby." -- H. L. Mencken

/Maybe Herschel Walker was the first?


But like just barely tho.
 
Im_Gumby
2023-01-31 11:17:13 AM  

Mrtraveler01: As I get older, I find that Kimmel's brand of sarcastic humor resonates with me more and more.


I find that I miss girls jumping on trampolines.

/and the Foobies tab.
//It was a simpler time.
///three, like in Total Recall
 
realmolo
2023-01-31 11:17:40 AM  

Zerochance: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning,

CItation?  Nobody's ever lost money betting on the stupidity of Americans, particularly the American conservative.


Yeah, to say they won't nominate him is foolish.

The non-batshiat-insane wing of the Republican party (what's left of them) still kind-of runs the show. Barely. And they want to get rid of Trump, but they know that they need his supporters to win. But they haven't figured out how to get his supporters without *also* getting Trump.

In the end, they will take Trump again if they think he'll bring the votes. No question. So don't write him off yet.
 
guestguy
2023-01-31 11:17:49 AM  

Zerochance: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning,

CItation?  Nobody's ever lost money betting on the stupidity of Americans, particularly the American conservative.


First of all: username doesn't check out?

Second: I didn't buy the "He has no chance" argument the first time around; I'm sure as hell not going to fall into that trap now.
 
Mrtraveler01
2023-01-31 11:18:17 AM  

Im_Gumby: Mrtraveler01: As I get older, I find that Kimmel's brand of sarcastic humor resonates with me more and more.

I find that I miss girls jumping on trampolines.

/and the Foobies tab.
//It was a simpler time.
///three, like in Total Recall


Kind of funny how the two hosts of that show went on two very different career trajectories.
 
LarryDan43
2023-01-31 11:19:08 AM  
Trump can still win primaries.
 
Thank You Black Jesus! [BareFark]
2023-01-31 11:23:39 AM  

Johnson: TFG:  Some people compare me to Michael Jordan!


god i can hear it in his obnoxious voice in my head
 
palelizard
2023-01-31 11:24:49 AM  

HighOnCraic: [Fark user image 425x231]


Jordan apparently didn't do that badly personally, it's just the rest of the Wizards sucked.
 
Subtonic
2023-01-31 11:25:31 AM  
Trump has less than no chance at being the GOP nominee, let alone winning the presidency. He is a sideshow clown, a distraction from the usual boring political wonkiness of your typical politicians. As soon as the race starts to get serious, he will be quickly resigned to the dustbin, a forgotten joke as the adults take back control of the room. Only a fool would take this person as a serious contender. So let's at least keep the discussion within the realm of reality and actual possibility.
 
HighOnCraic
2023-01-31 11:27:27 AM  

palelizard: HighOnCraic: [Fark user image 425x231]

Jordan apparently didn't do that badly personally, it's just the rest of the Wizards sucked.


I remember being impressed by his rebounding stats. I guess a little bit of Rodman rubbed off on him...
 
monsatano [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-31 11:29:07 AM  

HighOnCraic: palelizard: HighOnCraic: [Fark user image 425x231]

Jordan apparently didn't do that badly personally, it's just the rest of the Wizards sucked.

I remember being impressed by his rebounding stats. I guess a little bit of Rodman rubbed off on him...


Ewww
 
Gestalt
2023-01-31 11:30:06 AM  

Johnson: TFG:  Some people compare me to Michael Jordan!


"Many, many people are saying I am the Michael Jordan of winning elections, bigly!"
 
Eunice's Social Calendar [recently expired TotalFark]
2023-01-31 11:32:46 AM  
Ah...jordan to the wiz was awesome...though as a wizards fan it's a selfish take...and as a wizards fan you take the moral "victories" like "seeing jordan live in your uni" knowing full well that what you are watching is "a bit stupid at best."  trump was stupid out of the gate.
 
hammettman
2023-01-31 11:40:26 AM  

Zerochance: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning,

CItation?  Nobody's ever lost money betting on the stupidity of Americans, particularly the American conservative.


That's a bingo.
 
Super Chronic
2023-01-31 11:43:57 AM  
No way. If Hillary Clinton were to run, that would be Jordan on the Wizards. Trump is Blake Bortles trying out with the Rams.
 
Muta
2023-01-31 11:48:18 AM  

Im_Gumby: Mrtraveler01: As I get older, I find that Kimmel's brand of sarcastic humor resonates with me more and more.

I find that I miss girls jumping on trampolines.

/and the Foobies tab.
//It was a simpler time.
///three, like in Total Recall


And if you didn't find girls jumping on trampolines then you're just not smart enough to understand the multiverse just as not understanding the multilevel humor of Pickle Rick means you're an idiot.
 
Sentient
2023-01-31 11:48:46 AM  

Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.


I think there's a good chance he gets the nomination.

If DeSantis gets it, he'll get all republican votes, plus about half of the magats, but the other half will be 'trump or no voite'... and the republicans lose. If they put trump back in the race, he'll still get all republican votes, plus all the magats, which could be enough. It was once before.

That's the math they're doing at RNC HQ right now, and I think it all rests on who trump's VP pick is. Power at all costs; country be damned.
 
PawisBetlog [BareFark]
2023-01-31 11:49:17 AM  

Mrtraveler01: Im_Gumby: Mrtraveler01: As I get older, I find that Kimmel's brand of sarcastic humor resonates with me more and more.

I find that I miss girls jumping on trampolines.

/and the Foobies tab.
//It was a simpler time.
///three, like in Total Recall

Kind of funny how the two hosts of that show went on two very different career trajectories.


I really enjoyed both of them in their years on Kevin and Bean, which is where they both got their starts
 
Thank You Black Jesus! [BareFark]
2023-01-31 11:49:48 AM  

Subtonic: Trump has less than no chance at being the GOP nominee, let alone winning the presidency. He is a sideshow clown, a distraction from the usual boring political wonkiness of your typical politicians. As soon as the race starts to get serious, he will be quickly resigned to the dustbin, a forgotten joke as the adults take back control of the room. Only a fool would take this person as a serious contender. So let's at least keep the discussion within the realm of reality and actual possibility.


says increasingly ne4v
 
Thank You Black Jesus! [BareFark]
2023-01-31 11:50:31 AM  

Thank You Black Jesus!: Subtonic: Trump has less than no chance at being the GOP nominee, let alone winning the presidency. He is a sideshow clown, a distraction from the usual boring political wonkiness of your typical politicians. As soon as the race starts to get serious, he will be quickly resigned to the dustbin, a forgotten joke as the adults take back control of the room. Only a fool would take this person as a serious contender. So let's at least keep the discussion within the realm of reality and actual possibility.

says increasingly ne4v


GOD DAMN IT

increasingly nervous man for seventh time this week
 
Super Chronic
2023-01-31 11:51:27 AM  

Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.


As we learned in 2016, voters aren't as smart as we'd like to give them credit for: https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/3827864-trump-leads-biden-in-hypothetical-2024-matchup-poll/
 
Shaggy_C
2023-01-31 11:55:37 AM  

HighOnCraic: [Fark user image 425x231]


It always cracks me up that Jordan spends his retirement drinking an entire glass full of scotch in the middle of the day. There's like 4 shots in there.
 
Sumo Surfer
2023-01-31 11:56:08 AM  

Mrtraveler01: As I get older, I find that Kimmel's brand of sarcastic humor resonates with me more and more.


Wait until you make it to adulthood
 
Mrtraveler01
2023-01-31 11:58:36 AM  

Sumo Surfer: Mrtraveler01: As I get older, I find that Kimmel's brand of sarcastic humor resonates with me more and more.

Wait until you make it to adulthood


I'm already there. I've just gotten more cynical.
 
Deus Ex Macguffin [BareFark]
2023-01-31 12:00:42 PM  

Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.


Everyone said he had no chance of winning in 2016.
 
strapp3r
2023-01-31 12:01:24 PM  
"i've never been more ready!"

i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
EyeballKid
2023-01-31 12:02:23 PM  
The People You're Paying to Be in Shorts | Dorktown
Youtube F3_whi6KuLo
Good an excuse as any to show when Mike pulled the greatest tank job in basketball history; like he was betting on every Bobcats loss thinking, "What are they gonna do, make me run the Birmingham Barons for a couple months as punishment?"

It's long, but it's worth your time.
 
strapp3r
2023-01-31 12:02:29 PM  

Deus Ex Macguffin: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.

Everyone said he had no chance of winning in 2016.


plenty of his old disciples ain't biting that turd sammich again
 
NuclearPenguins [TotalFark]
2023-01-31 12:03:04 PM  

Super Chronic: No way. If Hillary Clinton were to run, that would be Jordan on the Wizards. Trump is Blake Bortles trying out with the Rams.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Gestalt
2023-01-31 12:11:01 PM  

strapp3r: plenty of his old disciples ain't biting that turd sammich again


If nothing more, a good chunk of them are busy taking a dirt nap.
 
palelizard
2023-01-31 12:13:17 PM  

strapp3r: Deus Ex Macguffin: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.

Everyone said he had no chance of winning in 2016.

plenty of his old disciples ain't biting that turd sammich again


So they say. I don't believe them.
 
whidbey
2023-01-31 12:17:27 PM  

palelizard: strapp3r: Deus Ex Macguffin: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.

Everyone said he had no chance of winning in 2016.

plenty of his old disciples ain't biting that turd sammich again

So they say. I don't believe them.


As long as TFG is being given the Cadillac Attention Treatment, negative or positive, there is no certainty about whether he could retake power or not.

Which is why we shouldn't be playing this shiat and outright condemning what he does. No comedy, no skits, nothing.
 
Deus Ex Macguffin [BareFark]
2023-01-31 12:18:45 PM  

strapp3r: Deus Ex Macguffin: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.

Everyone said he had no chance of winning in 2016.

plenty of his old disciples ain't biting that turd sammich again


All I'm saying is don't underestimate him.  Vote in droves - vote like you think he's going to win.  Trump would absolutely run third-party against DeSantis, and if that happens and it splits the republican vote, it will be a great day for democracy.

But don't underestimate Donnie Two Scoops.
 
Rent Party
2023-01-31 12:18:48 PM  

Subtonic: Trump has less than no chance at being the GOP nominee, let alone winning the presidency. He is a sideshow clown, a distraction from the usual boring political wonkiness of your typical politicians. As soon as the race starts to get serious, he will be quickly resigned to the dustbin, a forgotten joke as the adults take back control of the room. Only a fool would take this person as a serious contender. So let's at least keep the discussion within the realm of reality and actual possibility.


chronicle.brightspotcdn.comView Full Size


/ oh hai
 
Tax Boy
2023-01-31 12:19:53 PM  

Johnson: TFG:  Some people compare me to Michael Jordan!


"I'm a much better golfer though. And many people don't know this, but I played basketball in high school, and I could have gone professional. Maybe even better than Jordan, if I didn't have those bone spurs."
 
Rent Party
2023-01-31 12:20:15 PM  

strapp3r: Deus Ex Macguffin: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.

Everyone said he had no chance of winning in 2016.

plenty of his old disciples ain't biting that turd sammich again


He got more votes the second time around than he did the first.   They'll not only bite it, they'll gobble it down and declare it the best sammich anyone has ever had.
 
AtomPeepers
2023-01-31 12:20:40 PM  

palelizard: strapp3r: Deus Ex Macguffin: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning, but he's so incredibly vain and petty that if they don't give him the nod (and they won't), he'll do everything in his power to destroy them for their "disloyalty". He'd straight up run 3rd party against DeathSentence, and run alt candidates in the Senate and House races.
And I may need to see a doctor for my permanent erection.

Everyone said he had no chance of winning in 2016.

plenty of his old disciples ain't biting that turd sammich again

So they say. I don't believe them.


Can I say how much better the world would be if Trump would just stroke out?

We are running into a political season, filled with the good old ultraviolence all thanks to him. All he has his grievances.

He used to know how to at least pretend to care about what his base cared about. Now it's like he's still pretending it's Festivus and he's dragging his grievance pole around.  What he says, doesn't resonate with them very much anymore. He's out of season.
 
Iworkformsn
2023-01-31 12:21:01 PM  

Zerochance: Private_Citizen: I'm loving it. He has no chance of winning,

CItation?  Nobody's ever lost money betting on the stupidity of Americans, particularly the American conservative.


Right?!
If it's a Biden / Trump rematch, I figure it'll be closer than before.
 
palelizard
2023-01-31 12:22:30 PM  

Deus Ex Macguffin: Vote in droves - vote like you think he's going to win.  Trump would absolutely run third-party against DeSantis, and if that happens and it splits the republican vote, it will be a great day for democracy.


Eh. That will let the Dems keep the White House, but it might drive record voting on the right and the down-ticket races won't have that level of division.
 
palelizard
2023-01-31 12:24:19 PM  

Tax Boy: Johnson: TFG:  Some people compare me to Michael Jordan!

"I'm a much better golfer though. And many people don't know this, but I played basketball in high school, and I could have gone professional. Maybe even better than Jordan, if I didn't have those bone spurs."


He won't remember the bone spurs.
 
Displayed 50 of 66 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments
This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

If you like these links, you'll love

TotalFark

Total access
Total knowledge
Total Fark

learn more | sign up
On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.