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(MassLive)   Old and Busted: Secret woods porn. New Hotness: Secret woods grenade   (masslive.com) divider line
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    More: Strange, Privacy policy, Facebook, Hand grenade, Terms of service, State police, Privacy, Police, Bomb disposal  
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2240 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2023 at 12:50 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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edmo [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-30 12:38:24 PM  
Kudos to the kids. In my day, with my friends, it would have been 50/50 whether we told someone or just set the things off.
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 12:52:25 PM  
Basic Training, Ft Knox, circa 1987

On the grenade course, the drill sgt had a few extra laying around and asked me if I wanted to throw them.

Of course, I said yes.

The only problem is, see, after you throw them? You have to duck behind the wall and can't look to see them blow up.
 
BunchaRubes
2023-01-30 1:02:34 PM  
The grenade was "100% real," McGrath said. But it had hollowed out and was not dangerous, police found.

Then it wasn't 100% real.
 
Darth Funjamin
2023-01-30 1:05:37 PM  
I found secret woods beer once.

It was Bud Light. In hindsight, I would have preferred porn, but any beer is good beer when you're 14.
 
wild9
2023-01-30 1:07:43 PM  
Oh man...the secret woods porn spot was usually also littered with used condoms :(
 
doctorguilty
2023-01-30 1:07:59 PM  
Ah, porn in the woods. Things were simpler then.
 
Billy Bathsalt
2023-01-30 1:09:17 PM  
We did Boy Scout newspaper/magazine recycling drives.  Much porn was collected by us.
 
watching the trump puddle dry
2023-01-30 1:09:46 PM  
People of a certain age will never understand how common the secret pornography stash in the woods was, I can remember the first instinct of finding a busted car in the wood being... oh I bet there's some playboys in there, 9 out times you only found wasps and hornets
 
Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs
2023-01-30 1:09:58 PM  
My boy's wicked smaht.

Ya like apples?

How ya like pineapples? <tosses grenade through diner window>
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 1:11:50 PM  

doctorguilty: Ah, porn in the woods. Things were simpler then.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Congo
2023-01-30 1:12:05 PM  
All wood has explosive potential.
 
stuffy
2023-01-30 1:12:13 PM  

edmo: Kudos to the kids. In my day, with my friends, it would have been 50/50 whether we told someone or just set the things off.


My buds and I weren't that smart. We definitely would have pulled the pin.
 
pounddawg
2023-01-30 1:13:26 PM  
Ahh woods porn, the world was so much simpler then.
 
Eightballjacket [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 1:14:25 PM  

watching the trump puddle dry: People of a certain age will never understand how common the secret pornography stash in the woods was, I can remember the first instinct of finding a busted car in the wood being... oh I bet there's some playboys in there, 9 out times you only found wasps and hornets


I didn't know woods porn was common until I kept reading about it on fark. I though my neighborhood was the only one that had a couple stacks of old Oui, Hustler and Penthouse stashed in the woods behind our house.
 
guestguy
2023-01-30 1:17:03 PM  

watching the trump puddle dry: People of a certain age will never understand how common the secret pornography stash in the woods was, I can remember the first instinct of finding a busted car in the wood being... oh I bet there's some playboys in there, 9 out times you only found wasps and hornets


Were the wasps and hornets jackin' it to playboys?
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 1:17:13 PM  
In the old days, there wouldn't be a news story. There'd be a handful of confused neighbors, What used to be tree, and three kids with a great story.

//also timmy, who may or may not have a limp for a while.
 
BrerRobot
2023-01-30 1:17:46 PM  

Darth Funjamin: I found secret woods beer once.

It was Bud Light. In hindsight, I would have preferred porn, but any beer is good beer when you're 14.


Bud Light tastes like piss huh.
 
schubie
2023-01-30 1:18:03 PM  
As gross and violent as internet porn is, I feel like leaving a few Playboys around the woods for my son to find.
 
Sexy Jesus [recently expired TotalFark]
2023-01-30 1:20:28 PM  
My dad and I built a software system in the 80s  for the scrap metal business. We partnered up with a single yard and develeoped there.  I used to wander the yard for breaks when I could not stand any more Televideo green.  I found this pile of farking bombs, little football bombs with fins and 10ga. shells in the nose.  Owner said, Tell Nobody. He had someone scoop them up with a loader and dump them in some shears.  Nothing happened.  I thought they were from WWI but they looked too new. He said they were from some program where Iowa would bomb beaver dams from the air.  I want that job.
 
Calehedron
2023-01-30 1:21:10 PM  

steklo: Basic Training, Ft Knox, circa 1987

On the grenade course, the drill sgt had a few extra laying around and asked me if I wanted to throw them.

Of course, I said yes.

The only problem is, see, after you throw them? You have to duck behind the wall and can't look to see them blow up.


I was at Ft Leonard Wood summer of 87. You got to watch them go off from inside the berm they were being thrown over. My favorite part of that training was the incendiary grenade demonstration. Mid-day, full sun we were on bleachers inside a walled and covered structure with one open wall facing an old Jeep. We were told to turn around and face the back wall before they set it off. It was so bright we cast dark shadows on the walls. When we were told to turn back around, there was a 3 ft hole from the hood to the ground in the Jeep.
 
pounddawg
2023-01-30 1:21:27 PM  

Eightballjacket: watching the trump puddle dry: People of a certain age will never understand how common the secret pornography stash in the woods was, I can remember the first instinct of finding a busted car in the wood being... oh I bet there's some playboys in there, 9 out times you only found wasps and hornets

I didn't know woods porn was common until I kept reading about it on fark. I though my neighborhood was the only one that had a couple stacks of old Oui, Hustler and Penthouse stashed in the woods behind our house.


CSB -- we were building a fort in a vacant lost next to a 4 plex. One day we were working on it and out walks this little biker dude with this cardboard box. He asks -- you guys want this? We look inside the box....it's full of pron. All the good ones, lotsa variety. We just scored a box of woods pron that had never seen the woods.
 
watching the trump puddle dry
2023-01-30 1:26:04 PM  
Looking back, I can trace all my navigation skills to searching for porn in the woods
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 1:26:14 PM  

Calehedron: My favorite part of that training was the incendiary grenade demonstration.


Oh man, I loved those!

I was also the only soldier in my unit to shoot an active LAW.

"back blast area clear!" and pressed the trigger and it hit the tank in the field.

Everyone else had to shoot paint rounds.

good times...
 
strutin
2023-01-30 1:27:34 PM  

steklo: doctorguilty: Ah, porn in the woods. Things were simpler then.

[Fark user image 600x451]


I think I almost saw a boob once..

/good 'ole days weren't all that great, porn-wise
 
karl2025
2023-01-30 1:28:29 PM  
All things considered, I'd rather have the porn.
 
watching the trump puddle dry
2023-01-30 1:39:30 PM  

watching the trump puddle dry: Looking back, I can trace all my navigation skills to searching for porn in the woods


If Shannon tweed can't make you use a compass no one can
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 1:53:37 PM  

strutin: I think I almost saw a boob once..


CSB

My good friend AKA "Eddie Haskel" were hanging out one day in 1976. 6th grade.

He asks me if I want to see naked ladies.  "Sure"

So we walked to the woods near his house, we walk down a path and into some old poorly constructed "fort". We duck inside and he pulls out this old torn weather beaten Penthouse.

I only remember it because it was a 4th of July edition.

He's thumbing through and stopping at all the pages with photos.

"Here, you can take this home Stek, I've seen it a thousand times already"

"Nah, I don't want this, its's in bad shape. If I wanted one,I would buy one myself"

"Oh good luck with that. I tried once at the 7-11 and they laughed at me"
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 1:56:37 PM  

strutin: I think I almost saw a boob once..


CSB

After I moved out of my parents house, dad went and got one of those illegal cable boxes for the house.

As I come home for a visit, I turned on the tv around 10PM and it was some sports network, then all of a sudden, it switched to soft core porn. I was like, "What pray tell magic tv is this?"

Dad walks in...

"Oh I see you've found the "sports" channel. It comes on every night at 10PM. I love the new cable box!"
 
chitownmike
2023-01-30 2:01:45 PM  

BunchaRubes: The grenade was "100% real," McGrath said. But it had hollowed out and was not dangerous, police found.

Then it wasn't 100% real.


100% of the grenade they have is real they just don't have 100% of the grenade
 
justanotherfarkinfarker
2023-01-30 2:02:48 PM  
The grenade was "100% real," McGrath said. But it had hollowed out and was not dangerous, police found.

So then 100% fake. We had dozens of those things back in the 80's (Nam and WWII surplus). Hell you could even get the ones without the bottoms drilled out (you could also get the live fuse bodies and spoon mail order). I know me and my friends lost a few in the woods, some logger will have a fun day in the future.

/we also had the woods porn stash and fort porn stash. I don't really know the point maybe it was like fire and it's in human nature for young men.
 
justanotherfarkinfarker
2023-01-30 2:08:46 PM  

karl2025: All things considered, I'd rather have the porn.


No way, kids these days have it easy on the porn end. Porn stash hidden on a cell. If I was a kid now grenades (even fake) are the hard thing to get, nor would you want to; it's not like back in the day when the cops would maybe tell your parents if they caught you blowing up things or suspected it if there was no real property damage. Now you'd get locked up for drawing a pic of a grenade.
 
KingBiefWhistle
2023-01-30 2:11:41 PM  

Sexy Jesus: Owner said, Tell Nobody.


Dammit Sexy Jesus you had one job
 
Zik-Zak
2023-01-30 2:22:59 PM  

KingBiefWhistle: Sexy Jesus: Owner said, Tell Nobody.

Dammit Sexy Jesus you had one job


He'll get back to you in three days.
 
qlenfg
2023-01-30 2:40:30 PM  
Why did they not call 911 with the phone they took the photo with? Send the cops the photo -- it likely has the GPS coordinates in the metadata.
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 2:53:48 PM  

wild9: Oh man...the secret woods porn spot was usually also littered with used condoms :(


🤮
 
waxbeans [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 2:58:33 PM  

schubie: As gross and violent as internet porn is, I feel like leaving a few Playboys around the woods for my son to find.


My mom bought me the Madonna Playboy issue. September 1985. The center fold was hotter. Still think she is the only playmate worth a crap. After 40 years.  40? 🤷‍♂
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 2:59:58 PM  

waxbeans: Still think she is the only playmate worth a crap. After 40 years.  40? 🤷‍♂


A friend of mine bought her "Sex" book.

I would rather read "The Joy Of Sex".
 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-30 3:18:22 PM  
Was the porn wet and soggy because of the rain and being left outside or because someone jizzed all over it 150 times?

We'll just never be sure, now will we.
 
Promo Sapien
2023-01-30 3:23:51 PM  

steklo: waxbeans: Still think she is the only playmate worth a crap. After 40 years.  40? 🤷‍♂

A friend of mine bought her "Sex" book.

I would rather read "The Joy Of Sex".


I would rather spend an afternoon sexing parrots at the pet store.

Not copulating with them, just determining their gender for the store records. Far more fun than any Madonna vanity project, which is every Madonna project.
 
Another Government Employee
2023-01-30 3:24:26 PM  

edmo: Kudos to the kids. In my day, with my friends, it would have been 50/50 whether we told someone or just set the things off.


My brother and I had a couple of duds we had found as kids. We knew enough to use a fairly long stick first.

/ You could get hollowed-out ones from the local Army Surplus store
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 3:48:23 PM  

Promo Sapien: Far more fun than any Madonna vanity project


When she first came out in the 80's I said to myself..."This one is going to be trouble"

I said the same thing about Britney Spears too.
 
Barricaded Gunman
2023-01-30 4:08:26 PM  

Eightballjacket: I didn't know woods porn was common until I kept reading about it on fark. I though my neighborhood was the only one that had a couple stacks of old Oui, Hustler and Penthouse stashed in the woods behind our house.


Same.
 
Fear the Clam
2023-01-30 4:20:13 PM  

Eightballjacket: I didn't know woods porn was common until I kept reading about it on fark. I though my neighborhood was the only one that had a couple stacks of old Oui, Hustler and Penthouse stashed in the woods behind our house.


Fact: No one ever bought a copy of Oui. They're only stolen, given, or found.
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 4:30:07 PM  

Fear the Clam: They're only stolen, given, or found.


My uncle is 6 years older than me and he was studying photography while in High School.

One day he gives me a box of his Marvel comics and I guess he forgot that's where he put his porn stash. He had some Oui's Huslters, Penthouse and few other odd ones...I can't recall the names of.

"Oui?"  back then I had no idea that was french for "yes". I figured it meant "naked".
 
qlenfg
2023-01-30 4:42:20 PM  
steklo: ...One day he gives me a box of his Marvel comics and I guess he forgot that's where he put his porn stash. He had some Oui's Huslters, Penthouse and few other odd ones...I can't recall the names of.

Yeah, those were porn, not art. Playboy was at least a bit more artistic and not in your face. 

A friend of the family, who was a welder, had every Playboy centerfold from the beginning, up to current, taped up in his workshop. Whenever I got to go along to get something welded, I was told to stay outside, or look down at the floor.
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 4:57:23 PM  

qlenfg: A friend of the family,


Elementary school aged, a new boy moves across the street from me. My age. We were friends instantly.

I was over and using the guest bathroom and there's a basket next to the toilet. Filled with Playboy and Penthouse.

I asked him about it.

"They're my Dad's. Did you look at any?"

"no"

"My mom puts them in there in the basket"

"Why on earth would she do that?"

"She doesn't want them in the master bedroom and she never uses the guest bathroom"

"oh"
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2023-01-30 5:16:04 PM  

guestguy: watching the trump puddle dry: People of a certain age will never understand how common the secret pornography stash in the woods was, I can remember the first instinct of finding a busted car in the wood being... oh I bet there's some playboys in there, 9 out times you only found wasps and hornets

Were the wasps and hornets jackin' it to playboys?


Yellow-jacketin' it
 
handsome boy model
2023-01-30 6:09:16 PM  

steklo: doctorguilty: Ah, porn in the woods. Things were simpler then.

[Fark user image 600x451]



Dag-nabbit, you've initiated the launch sequence.

(ziiiiip)

Off to my bunk for a bit . . .
 
MythDragon [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 7:01:27 PM  

steklo: Basic Training, Ft Knox, circa 1987

On the grenade course, the drill sgt had a few extra laying around and asked me if I wanted to throw them.

Of course, I said yes.

The only problem is, see, after you throw them? You have to duck behind the wall and can't look to see them blow up.


I didn't care to.  The second that thing left my hand, I was down.  You wouldn't happen to be the reason the DS throws his body over yours to keep you from popping your head up before the grenade goes off, would you?
 
MythDragon [TotalFark]
2023-01-30 7:03:30 PM  
But was it a hand grenade?
Frankenstein
Youtube I8nonWmNhjI
 
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