Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Des Moines Register)   Worst hotel in the world granted operating license after inspectors found sex toys in the microwave   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line
53
    More: Sick, Hotel, Feces, Kitchen, Microwave oven, Ownership, Bedroom, Smoke detector, Bathroom  
•       •       •

3790 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2023 at 3:45 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
ImpendingCynic
2023-01-28 8:49:12 PM  
Fawlty Toywers?
 
fatassbastard [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 9:56:11 PM  
Sex Toys in the Microwave

Wasn't that an Aerosmith album?
 
BizarreMan [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 2:22:39 AM  

fatassbastard: Sex Toys in the Microwave

Wasn't that an Aerosmith album?


Pink Floyd song on "The Wall"?  Crazy, sex toys in the microwave he is crazy.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 2:47:07 AM  
I don't know, it sounds like it might be alright.
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2023-01-29 3:49:09 AM  
"Sometimes a cucumber is just a cucumber, inspector."
 
Neondistraction
2023-01-29 3:49:42 AM  
The owner agreed to dispose of the microwave oven.

But what about the dildo?
 
Perfectly Normal Beast [BareFark]
2023-01-29 3:53:02 AM  
Something something hot sex.
 
Freschel [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 4:01:09 AM  
Hey who hasn't put sex toys in the microwave oven?
 
Spice Must Flow
2023-01-29 4:07:21 AM  

fatassbastard: Sex Toys in the Microwave

Wasn't that an Aerosmith album?


Yeah, with those classic love songs, Big Ten Inch (Record), and Dude Looks Like a Sex Toy in the Microwave.
 
khatores
2023-01-29 4:13:34 AM  
Back in November of 2021 I went out to Houston to meet some friends and we stayed in a hotel that had a machete under the bed.

When I checked out I showed the desk clerk. Fortunately I had driven there from Florida so I was able to take my glorious souvenir home.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
MikeyFuccon
2023-01-29 4:26:15 AM  
TripAdvisor reviews of this fine establishment are here. Yeah, it's one of the worst in the city (46th out of 49 Des Moines hotels for which TripAdvisor have sufficient reviews to rate).

Minimal maintenance and short-staffing so serious that guests can't even count on not finding trash in rooms on check-in are common complaints. Clearly previous management had left no corner uncut.

I hope the new ones got a bargain on the place. I wonder how aware of the situation they were before agreeing to buy the place.
 
MikeyFuccon
2023-01-29 4:26:54 AM  
Yeah, this is one of the worst in the city (46th out of 49 Des Moines hotels for which TripAdvisor have sufficient reviews to rate).

Minimal maintenance and short-staffing so serious that guests can't even count on not finding trash in rooms on check-in are common complaints. Clearly previous management had left no corner uncut.

I hope the new ones got a bargain. I wonder how aware of the situation they were before agreeing to buy the place.
 
Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist
2023-01-29 4:32:27 AM  

MikeyFuccon: Yeah, this is one of the worst in the city (46th out of 49 Des Moines hotels for which TripAdvisor have sufficient reviews to rate).

Minimal maintenance and short-staffing so serious that guests can't even count on not finding trash in rooms on check-in are common complaints. Clearly previous management had left no corner uncut.

I hope the new ones got a bargain. I wonder how aware of the situation they were before agreeing to buy the place.


You can say that again!
 
sidailurch
2023-01-29 4:36:18 AM  
Where were they supposed to put it, the toilet? That's just unsanitary.
 
bughunter [BareFark]
2023-01-29 5:02:22 AM  

Freschel: Hey who hasn't put sex toys in the microwave oven?


I dated a gal that put hers in the dishwasher.

So the microwave doesn't sound *too* far fetched.

I wouldn't recommend more than about 15 seconds, though...
 
MikeyFuccon
2023-01-29 5:08:46 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: MikeyFuccon: Yeah, this is one of the worst in the city (46th out of 49 Des Moines hotels for which TripAdvisor have sufficient reviews to rate).

Minimal maintenance and short-staffing so serious that guests can't even count on not finding trash in rooms on check-in are common complaints. Clearly previous management had left no corner uncut.

I hope the new ones got a bargain. I wonder how aware of the situation they were before agreeing to buy the place.

You can say that again!


I didn't actually mean to. Sorry about the double post.
 
Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist
2023-01-29 5:08:53 AM  

bughunter: Freschel: Hey who hasn't put sex toys in the microwave oven?

I dated a gal that put hers in the dishwasher.

So the microwave doesn't sound *too* far fetched.

I wouldn't recommend more than about 15 seconds, though...


I used to put mine in an instapot but I changed to an air fryer to keep up with the times.
 
Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist
2023-01-29 5:09:43 AM  

MikeyFuccon: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: MikeyFuccon: Yeah, this is one of the worst in the city (46th out of 49 Des Moines hotels for which TripAdvisor have sufficient reviews to rate).

Minimal maintenance and short-staffing so serious that guests can't even count on not finding trash in rooms on check-in are common complaints. Clearly previous management had left no corner uncut.

I hope the new ones got a bargain. I wonder how aware of the situation they were before agreeing to buy the place.

You can say that again!

I didn't actually mean to. Sorry about the double post.


Don't mind me, was just being an ass. Has happened to me a few times.
 
johnphantom
2023-01-29 5:09:52 AM  

bughunter: Freschel: Hey who hasn't put sex toys in the microwave oven?

I dated a gal that put hers in the dishwasher.

So the microwave doesn't sound *too* far fetched.

I wouldn't recommend more than about 15 seconds, though...


Did she regularly have guests over for dinner?  That is disgusting.
 
DannyBrandt [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 5:15:33 AM  
That's why going to an adult toy shop is so much better than buying online. It's like going to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and you can ask the knowledgeable sales team important questions like "can I put this vibrator in the dishwasher?" and "Is this dildo microwave safe?"
 
Spiritual Pagan [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 5:36:10 AM  
Those are the kind of shenanigans I'd expect from a Super 8 or America's Best Value Inn
 
Samfucious [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 5:37:30 AM  
Is this some new metaphor I haven't heard, like "bun in the oven"?
 
BitwiseShift
2023-01-29 5:42:03 AM  
Obviously not a fine hotel where there's a working fireplace in the suite for warming the dildo properly.
 
FarkingSmurf
2023-01-29 5:43:18 AM  
You're supposed to sanitize your buttplugs in the coffee pot you heathens.
 
SanityIsAFullTimeJob
2023-01-29 6:06:22 AM  
"...a prong of some kind stuck in a bathroom electrical outlet..."
 
berylman [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 6:12:08 AM  
Ah the Baymont Inn & Suites in Des Moines. Truly the last bastion of sophisticated civilization. To see it fallen so far wrenches the heart.
Key & Peele - Continental Breakfast
Youtube st21dIMaGMs
 
BumpInTheNight [OhFark]
2023-01-29 6:45:21 AM  

SanityIsAFullTimeJob: "...a prong of some kind stuck in a bathroom electrical outlet..."


That's the detail that'd make me nope out of a room.
 
sinko swimo
2023-01-29 6:52:56 AM  

Spiritual Pagan: Those are the kind of shenanigans I'd expect from a Super 8 or America's Best Value Inn


really? you have seen those brand name inns shuttered for lack of license, shabby unhealthy conditions and customers doing untoward things? please share these stories with us.
 
ViolentEastCoastCity [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 7:15:48 AM  
Watch Dan Bell's "Another Dirty Room" series and you'll never want to stay in a hotel again.
 
dryknife [BareFark]
2023-01-29 7:40:48 AM  
Even the money they paid off the building inspectors with was filthy
 
LesserEvil [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-29 7:41:39 AM  
Who the hell leaves perfectly good sex toys behind?
 
Halfabee64 [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 7:53:42 AM  

BumpInTheNight: SanityIsAFullTimeJob: "...a prong of some kind stuck in a bathroom electrical outlet..."

That's the detail that'd make me nope out of a room.


I've noped out on a room for far less (e.g. funky smell, bathtub ring).
 
Binx
2023-01-29 8:43:49 AM  

Freschel: Hey who hasn't put sex toys in the microwave oven?


You savage! They belong in the dishwasher on the sanitize setting.
 
MythDragon
2023-01-29 9:01:34 AM  

Freschel: Hey who hasn't put sex toys in the microwave oven?


images.paramount.techView Full Size
 
1funguy
2023-01-29 9:02:05 AM  

khatores: Back in November of 2021 I went out to Houston to meet some friends and we stayed in a hotel that had a machete under the bed.

When I checked out I showed the desk clerk. Fortunately I had driven there from Florida so I was able to take my glorious souvenir home.

[Fark user image image 425x318]


Looks like a murder weapon to me. Looks like we will be sending a couple squad cars by to pick it / you up for questioning.

Let's just make this easy. Type your address below and hit the Add Comment button like a nice boy.

Now, we do a little contracting with a Cuban contractor since our offices are so busy, so if a couple suspicious looking guys just show up at your door driving a lifted 69 Chevrolet just get in the car.

Everything is gonna be fine.
 
MythDragon
2023-01-29 9:02:13 AM  

khatores: Back in November of 2021 I went out to Houston to meet some friends and we stayed in a hotel that had a machete under the bed.

When I checked out I showed the desk clerk. Fortunately I had driven there from Florida so I was able to take my glorious souvenir home.

[Fark user image image 425x318]


Paige, no!
 
NathanAllen
2023-01-29 9:09:35 AM  

khatores: Back in November of 2021 I went out to Houston to meet some friends and we stayed in a hotel that had a machete under the bed.

When I checked out I showed the desk clerk. Fortunately I had driven there from Florida so I was able to take my glorious souvenir home.

[Fark user image image 425x318]


That's a good one.

As a rule I always check between the mattresses at hotel rooms.

Four guns, all loaded (cleared and given to front desks)
Marijuana (kept that) and pills (front desk)
Lots of creepy porn mags (front desk)

Never a machete though, especially a nasty corroded one like that.
 
Prof. Frink [BareFark]
2023-01-29 9:42:18 AM  

Neondistraction: The owner agreed to dispose of the microwave oven.

But what about the dildo?


"Oh, just stick it somewhere in case someone comes for it."
 
iamskibibitz
2023-01-29 10:05:15 AM  

fatassbastard: Sex Toys in the Microwave

Wasn't that an Aerosmith album?


Sure was. You might recall the hit, "Love in an Incubator."
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 10:06:24 AM  
I'd think that the kind of people who'd go to a hotel like that would not be troubled at finding sex toys in their microwave.
 
Turbo Cojones
2023-01-29 10:09:08 AM  

MikeyFuccon: TripAdvisor reviews of this fine establishment are here. Yeah, it's one of the worst in the city (46th out of 49 Des Moines hotels for which TripAdvisor have sufficient reviews to rate).

Minimal maintenance and short-staffing so serious that guests can't even count on not finding trash in rooms on check-in are common complaints. Clearly previous management had left no corner uncut.

I hope the new ones got a bargain on the place. I wonder how aware of the situation they were before agreeing to buy the place.


Here in Lower Alabama, the majority of similar establishments are traded from one absentee owner to another every few months. It's a Ponzi scheme of denial and laundering.

Most live in Asia, and they get out quick.  The amusing Trip Advisor reviews remain.
 
Foolkiller
2023-01-29 10:48:39 AM  
In the microwave? I call him Hot Carl.
 
cheeseaholic
2023-01-29 11:00:42 AM  
As long as it was an edible sex toy, I say that's fair.
 
SN1987a goes boom
2023-01-29 11:07:19 AM  
No license? They should just close and rebrand as short term apartments...and then airbnb out the spaces for 2x the price.  More money, less regulation.
 
Hinged
2023-01-29 11:08:30 AM  
When you're getting into motels (hotels) and such, I think that discarded dildos are part of the territory - along with used condoms, coke bags and odd stains... everywhere.

Did I mention the hidden cameras?
 
Chompachangas [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 11:16:07 AM  
Sex Toys in the Microwave is my spoof song on Born in the USA
 
Foolkiller
2023-01-29 11:29:11 AM  

Hinged: When you're getting into motels (hotels) and such, I think that discarded dildos are part of the territory - along with used condoms, coke bags and odd stains... everywhere.

Did I mention the hidden cameras?


I thought Chuck Berry died.
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 11:39:22 AM  
"The owner agreed to dispose of the microwave oven."
<chuckle>
 
Fairmont
2023-01-29 12:23:22 PM  
So to summarize for those too lazy to RTFA the inspector found:
- toilet bowls that were visibly soiled with accumulated debris and feces.
- accumulations of trash behind the beds and cabinets
- a soiled shirt stuffed in the ice bucket
- rodent droppings in the breakfast-area
- dead gnats and dead fleas in the kitchen

Not to mention the sex toy in the microwave. Only way I'd set foot in this place is if someone disinfected it with a flamethrower.
 
LoneVVolf [TotalFark]
2023-01-29 12:58:16 PM  

Freschel: Hey who hasn't put sex toys in the microwave oven?


Not more than once.  Silicone doesn't share a resonant frequency with water, so microwaves do almost nothing to heat it.  A pitcher of hot water is where it's at.
 
Displayed 50 of 53 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments
This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

Want more stories with less ads? Try

TotalFark

It's what the cool kids are doing.
It also helps us pay the bills.

learn more | sign up
On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.