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(USA Today)   Memphis SCORPION unit exterminated   (usatoday.com) divider line
96
    More: Followup, Crime, John Jay College of Criminal Justice, Law, Police, Africana studies, City, Law enforcement agency, Memphis Police Department  
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2751 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2023 at 7:05 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



96 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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rotsky [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 5:19:44 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


"Their behavior is so irrepressible that they will act in a certain way, no matter what the consequences, death included."
 
Shostie [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 5:25:00 PM  
Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?
 
ralphjr [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 5:26:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
sinner4ever
2023-01-28 5:51:33 PM  
Welcome to the newest members of the Venom unit.
 
null [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 5:56:09 PM  
Meanwhile, at the cops' bar:

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
null [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 5:57:18 PM  

Shostie: Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?


Like all bullies and groups of insecure man-children everywhere, the answer is "to sound tough".
 
fnordfocus [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 5:57:19 PM  
I'm assuming either the police union will sue and the courts will order the unit reinstate or the department will create a new unit with a slightly different name like SPIDER and the same mission and staff?
 
Bootleg [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 6:09:14 PM  
SCORPION, huh? Are they going to reform as REPTILE or SUB-ZERO?

/Maybe RAIDEN?
 
Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste
2023-01-28 6:28:32 PM  
Maybe not create units characterized by extreme antagonism toward their target populations?
 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 6:31:03 PM  
They cast a cloud of dishonor of the term "scorpion"?

Seriously?
 
khitsicker [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 6:36:48 PM  
Are they going to fire all the cops in the unit too? If not what's the point.
 
weddingsinger [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 6:41:28 PM  

Bootleg: SCORPION, huh? Are they going to reform as REPTILE or SUB-ZERO?

/Maybe RAIDEN?


Never Raiden. He was a good guy trying to protect humanity. The very thought of helping people makes cops sick.
 
weddingsinger [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 6:44:00 PM  

Shostie: Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?


They're big Roger Corman fans?

media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
HighlanderRPI
2023-01-28 7:09:39 PM  
Finally, they brought out the Guntron

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:11:05 PM  
So what will it be called now, HYDRA?
 
Kit Fister [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:11:43 PM  
Cobra unit still on duty:

flxt.tmsimg.comView Full Size
 
Kit Fister [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:12:48 PM  

Gyrfalcon: So what will it be called now, HYDRA?


ManBearPig
 
leeksfromchichis [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:13:58 PM  

Shostie: Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?


Why do a bunch of terrorists have a terrorist sounding name?
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

Think before you ask tautological questions!
 
flamingboard
2023-01-28 7:13:59 PM  

Shostie: Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?


Because they think they are the heroes in an 80's action movie.
 
johnny queso
2023-01-28 7:14:49 PM  
how about the entire farking department?
 
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:16:26 PM  
There is only one scorpion unit that police should be a part of.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
AmbassadorBooze
2023-01-28 7:18:32 PM  
Why even name a unit the scorpion unit?  Save that for the military.  For the units that are tasked with killing everything and then they get put into cryosleep when not needed.

Start renaming all police units.  Basic units can be called cuddly love units.  And the more extreme units can be called "we are cucks and live being cuckolds, please degrade us and make sure we know we are sissy cum buckets" units.  Only people who are secure enough in their own state of being could handle the name.

Problem solved.
 
rzrwiresunrise
2023-01-28 7:18:47 PM  
The fact that such a unit existed & decided a venomous arachnid was the best mascot to convince ppl to support them is... surely there's a moral to be learned here.
 
DoBeDoBeDo [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:21:13 PM  
Street Crimes Operation to Restore Peace in Our Neighborhoods

They were just confused, thought the were supposed to DO the Street Crimes instead of PREVENT them.  Simple mistake really.
 
SwiftFox
2023-01-28 7:21:23 PM  
"Street Crimes Operation to Restore Peace in Our Neighborhoods.  Should be either SCORPON or SCOTRPION
 
hardinparamedic [OhFark]
2023-01-28 7:21:31 PM  
Okay now do the whole county departments.

Eliminating one unit won't change a damn thing. It's multiple agencies. It's Shelby county, Germantown, Collierville, Bartlett and Millington.
 
Lsherm [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:21:55 PM  
January 29, 2023
For Immediate Release
Memphis, TN

The Memphis police department (MPD) announced today the creation of the groundbreaking "Black Widow" crime fighting unit, which is in no way related to the recently discontinued Scorpion unit. Firstly, this unit has TWO words in the name. Secondly, the five police officers who were fired in the wake of Tyre Nichol's death will almost certainly not be a part of the new Black Widow unit, at least not at the beginning.
 
Vacation Bible School
2023-01-28 7:22:04 PM  

rzrwiresunrise: The fact that such a unit existed & decided a venomous arachnid was the best mascot to convince ppl to support them is... surely there's a moral to be learned here.


They looked at the Punisher logo and thought it didn't go far enough.
 
erik-k [OhFark]
2023-01-28 7:25:43 PM  
My Mother-in-Law is a Scorpion
Youtube 9CfiBv-Tm6s

/All of SexualLobster's animations combined are still less farked up than a police gang murdering an innocent guy on camera
 
Mole Man
2023-01-28 7:26:26 PM  
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
Sexy Jesus [recently expired TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:26:38 PM  

Shostie: Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?


Why do police vehicles now look like Deceptions? Why do so many of them wear battle fatigues? I think it started with the mirrored sunglasses.
 
Duck_of_Doom [OhFark]
2023-01-28 7:29:03 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Street Crimes Operation to Restore Peace in Our Neighborhoods

They were just confused, thought the were supposed to DO the Street Crimes instead of PREVENT them.  Simple mistake really.


Do they have an adjacent group of neighborhood watch called Citizens On Patrol?
 
tricycleracer
2023-01-28 7:29:50 PM  

Bootleg: SCORPION, huh? Are they going to reform as REPTILE or SUB-ZERO?

/Maybe RAIDEN?


No Knock Raiden
 
Sexy Jesus [recently expired TotalFark]
2023-01-28 7:30:36 PM  
You can change the names of units and shuffle them around all you like but the same number of violent cocksuckers will be on the streets from day to day.  This is, literally, the least they could do.  What does it cost them? Some costs sunk in decals and letterhead. Who gives a shiat?
 
starsrift
2023-01-28 7:32:24 PM  
There's kind of some interesting numbers in the article and other places about the unit. Just under 350 homicides a year before the unit's formation, the unit made 566 arrests - so in the ballpark of an anti-homicide unit for the city - but they only actually brought homicide down by 10%.

Sorry, I just think that kind of data is interesting. Not really related to the horror that occurred.
 
Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion
2023-01-28 7:32:54 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Maybe not create units characterized by extreme antagonism toward their target populations?


Maybe stop thinking of people are "target populations".
 
johnny queso
2023-01-28 7:33:36 PM  

Gyrfalcon: So what will it be called now, HYDRA?


MANCHILD!
 
maudibjr
2023-01-28 7:34:35 PM  
What unit will be tasked with the other 349 murders in memphis
 
zez
2023-01-28 7:36:31 PM  
How about they name the new one STRIKE team?

i.guim.co.ukView Full Size
 
Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion
2023-01-28 7:36:52 PM  

Vacation Bible School: rzrwiresunrise: The fact that such a unit existed & decided a venomous arachnid was the best mascot to convince ppl to support them is... surely there's a moral to be learned here.

They looked at the Punisher logo and thought it didn't go far enough.


These idiot cops that wear the Punisher logo don't even have any understanding of the character. The character is extremely anti-cop to. Like, extremely. Wearing the logo makes them look like complete morons.
 
AmbassadorBooze
2023-01-28 7:37:22 PM  

Sexy Jesus: You can change the names of units and shuffle them around all you like but the same number of violent cocksuckers will be on the streets from day to day.  This is, literally, the least they could do.  What does it cost them? Some costs sunk in decals and letterhead. Who gives a shiat?


If we renamed the units to "jizz mops", with at least one of the levels of called "sissy boy chastity cage", how many of the violent white supremacists are gonna stay with the force?  If everybody on the street called them sissy jizz mops all day every day?  You think they would stay?  If their plaques and medals were renamed "biggest butt plug insertion" and "total cum slut", you think the white supremacists would stay?

We can solve this problem with words.  And that's coming from me.  Mr nuke it all.  All we have to do is degrade the cops into the dirt.  And make them take it.  Like little biatch sluts.  That's the new name of the investigative units.
 
Begoggle
2023-01-28 7:38:52 PM  
"While the heinous actions of a few casts a cloud of dishonor on the title SCORPION"

Republicans think this makes sense.
 
Begoggle
2023-01-28 7:41:25 PM  

khitsicker: Are they going to fire all the cops in the unit too? If not what's the point.


If they do what is the point?
Why are people obsessed with getting cops fired?
That accomplishes nothing, you know.
It's like getting fired from working at McDonald's.
Where would such a worker ever find another place to work???
 
Spartapuss
2023-01-28 7:41:43 PM  

Begoggle: "While the heinous actions of a few casts a cloud of dishonor on the title SCORPION"

Republicans think this makes sense.


wompampsupport.azureedge.netView Full Size
 
starsrift
2023-01-28 7:41:49 PM  

AmbassadorBooze: Sexy Jesus: You can change the names of units and shuffle them around all you like but the same number of violent cocksuckers will be on the streets from day to day.  This is, literally, the least they could do.  What does it cost them? Some costs sunk in decals and letterhead. Who gives a shiat?

If we renamed the units to "jizz mops", with at least one of the levels of called "sissy boy chastity cage", how many of the violent white supremacists are gonna stay with the force?  If everybody on the street called them sissy jizz mops all day every day?  You think they would stay?  If their plaques and medals were renamed "biggest butt plug insertion" and "total cum slut", you think the white supremacists would stay?

We can solve this problem with words.  And that's coming from me.  Mr nuke it all.  All we have to do is degrade the cops into the dirt.  And make them take it.  Like little biatch sluts.  That's the new name of the investigative units.


Well, that, and there will be an entirely different sort of person who wants to join the force.
 
maddermaxx
2023-01-28 7:45:46 PM  

Shostie: Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger
2023-01-28 7:46:23 PM  

hardinparamedic: Okay now do the whole county departments.

Eliminating one unit won't change a damn thing. It's multiple agencies. It's Shelby county, Germantown, Collierville, Bartlett and Millington.


But what about Shelbyville, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook?
 
Autoerotic Defenestration
2023-01-28 7:46:44 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Maybe not create units characterized by extreme antagonism toward their target populations?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
SimonElectric
2023-01-28 7:49:22 PM  
Who could imagine that having a group of officers who operate under the assumption that everyone they meet is the hardest  criminal in the land and that they should stop at literally nothing to get them off the street could possible go wrong?


LA CRASH aka Training Day
Baltimore Gun Trace Task Force aka Omar Little in Blue
NYC Street Crime Unit aka Amadou Diallo murderers
 
natazha [BareFark]
2023-01-28 7:49:53 PM  

Shostie: Why do they even have a unit named like a villainistic international terrorism organization in a c-list 80s action cartoon featuring transforming boats or some other dumb thing?


To make it easy for the gangster wantabes to know what unit to join.
 
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