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(The Onion)   The Onion remains America's most respected news source   (theonion.com) divider line
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    More: Satire, Morality, Memphis Police Department, Police, Chief of police, Causality, Suffering, upcoming release of body-cam footage, deadly beating of Tyre Nichols  
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5587 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Jan 2023 at 10:26 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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WickerNipple [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 9:02:54 AM  
Davis went on to insist that any sign of unrest would only give the forces of unconscionable evil an excuse to impose even more wanton suffering on those who have no choice but to endure it.

^
 
BolshyGreatYarblocks
2023-01-28 10:28:09 AM  
Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.
 
mistahtom
2023-01-28 10:33:49 AM  
Similar to Men in Black using tabloids for information, more and more it seems like The Onion is some sort of CIA publication.

Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?
Youtube FzoXQKumgCw
 
odinsposse
2023-01-28 10:39:03 AM  
But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.
 
cwheelie
2023-01-28 10:39:21 AM  
That's not even satire - that's brilliant
 
Lonestar
2023-01-28 10:41:18 AM  
https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/26/us/what-we-know-tyre-nichols-death/index.html

The attorneys for the family are describing the videos as heinous.

"What did I do?"

Nothing Tyre, you did nothing. You were black, that is all.
 
jso2897 [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 10:44:57 AM  

odinsposse: But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.


Here in L.A., my local Liberal MediaTM has been breathlessly showing footage of people shouting at cops, along with exhortations to be terrified and enraged about it.
 
switterstilts
2023-01-28 10:45:04 AM  

cwheelie: That's not even satire - that's brilliant


That's not even just brilliant - it's art
 
Someone Else's Alt [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 10:45:38 AM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.


Looking forward to the video of your successful use of a firearm against police and getting away with it.
 
LordJiro [BareFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 10:48:27 AM  

Lonestar: https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/26/us/what-we-know-tyre-nichols-death/index.html

The attorneys for the family are describing the videos as heinous.

"What did I do?"

Nothing Tyre, you did nothing. You were black, that is all.


Yep. Doesn't even matter that his murderers were also black, because when it comes down to it, the only 'race' that matters in that situation is 'cop'.

The American police system is not salvageable. It's nothing more than an organized crime syndicate given state protection. The whole farking thing needs to be torn down and rebuilt.
 
jso2897 [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 10:48:59 AM  

Someone Else's Alt: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.

Looking forward to the video of your successful use of a firearm against police and getting away with it.


A heavily and irresponsibly armed populace is one of the cop's perennial arguments for more, bigger, and more powerful armaments, as well as more suppressive protocols and policies.
 
Lonestar
2023-01-28 10:51:30 AM  

LordJiro: Lonestar: https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/26/us/what-we-know-tyre-nichols-death/index.html

The attorneys for the family are describing the videos as heinous.

"What did I do?"

Nothing Tyre, you did nothing. You were black, that is all.

Yep. Doesn't even matter that his murderers were also black, because when it comes down to it, the only 'race' that matters in that situation is 'cop'.

The American police system is not salvageable. It's nothing more than an organized crime syndicate given state protection. The whole farking thing needs to be torn down and rebuilt.


Actually the fact that they are black is the only reason why they got fired in the 1st place. Notice there was 10 cops around this situation? There were also firemen. All cops in this should be fired at the very least.
 
gimmeafuckinname
2023-01-28 10:52:17 AM  
Anybody watch the video?

I can't bring myself to do it.....
 
CarnySaur [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 10:53:03 AM  
I didn't want to watch the video yesterday when the news was about to show it, so I switched over to the "Decades" channel for a distraction, and they were playing the audio from the Apollo 1 test cockpit fire from 1967, so I got to be horrified anyway.
 
Peki
2023-01-28 10:53:18 AM  

gimmeafarkinname: Anybody watch the video?

I can't bring myself to do it.....


Yes. It was horrific.
 
gilgigamesh
2023-01-28 10:53:18 AM  

jso2897: odinsposse: But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.

Here in L.A., my local Liberal MediaTM has been breathlessly showing footage of people shouting at cops, along with exhortations to be terrified and enraged about it.


I think it's important to point out that all the people who predicted Memphis would burn to the ground yesterday were wrong. Protests were largely peaceful, and Memphis is still there.  Why? Because the perpetrators are apparently being brought to justice.

Rioting is rational. It is the voice of the people crying out against corrupt injustice.  If the people see justice being done, they don't riot. Simple as that.

It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.
 
Tarl3k
2023-01-28 10:53:44 AM  
That's perfect satire, but the pain of this tragedy is still too fresh to laugh at it.  I'm not 100% sure that I agree with the poster here who says that the police system in this country needs to be burned to the ground and rebuilt, but I'm becoming more convinced every day.
 
Peki
2023-01-28 10:53:59 AM  

Someone Else's Alt: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.

Looking forward to the video of your successful use of a firearm against police and getting away with it.


It's when people stop caring about getting away with it that shiat will change.
 
DoctorCal [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 10:55:49 AM  

gilgigamesh: jso2897: odinsposse: But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.

Here in L.A., my local Liberal MediaTM has been breathlessly showing footage of people shouting at cops, along with exhortations to be terrified and enraged about it.

I think it's important to point out that all the people who predicted Memphis would burn to the ground yesterday were wrong. Protests were largely peaceful, and Memphis is still there.  Why? Because the perpetrators are apparently being brought to justice.

Rioting is rational. It is the voice of the people crying out against corrupt injustice.  If the people see justice being done, they don't riot. Simple as that.

It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.


The problem is that people who want the public to embrace that narrative send goons in to break shiat.
 
gilgigamesh
2023-01-28 10:57:36 AM  

DoctorCal: gilgigamesh: jso2897: odinsposse: But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.

Here in L.A., my local Liberal MediaTM has been breathlessly showing footage of people shouting at cops, along with exhortations to be terrified and enraged about it.

I think it's important to point out that all the people who predicted Memphis would burn to the ground yesterday were wrong. Protests were largely peaceful, and Memphis is still there.  Why? Because the perpetrators are apparently being brought to justice.

Rioting is rational. It is the voice of the people crying out against corrupt injustice.  If the people see justice being done, they don't riot. Simple as that.

It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The problem is that people who want the public to embrace that narrative send goons in to break shiat.


That's true, but that's a different problem.

Fortunately, that didn't happen this time.
 
QuesoDelicioso [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 11:00:18 AM  

LordJiro: Doesn't even matter that his murderers were also black, because when it comes down to it, the only 'race' that matters in that situation is 'cop'.


I suspect that this is why we're seeing a less than full-throated defense of the cops in this situation. Right-wing dickheads were falling all over themselves to stick up for Derek Chauvin, but they're curiously quiet now.
 
ChimpMitten
2023-01-28 11:01:19 AM  

gimmeafarkinname: Anybody watch the video?

I can't bring myself to do it.....


Yeah.  They pulled him out of the car at a red light without any warning, couldn't get his hands cuffed and kept yelling at him to get on the ground when he already was, tried tazing him but it got caught on his coat so he ran from being violently assaulted for no reason.  They catch up to him, get him on the ground and keep yelling and start kicking him in the head.  Someone pulls pepper spray and they get him in the face as well as spraying themself.  He's dazed and stands up with somone holding his arm and one of the cops starts repeatedly punching him in the face.  Eventually they gey him cuffed and sit him against a car.  He keeps falling over.  Other police show up and they start joking about it and making up their bullshiat cover story.  He was high, he grabbed my gun at the traffic stop and ran.  One cop complains that his leg is sore from chasing him and he'll feel that in the morning.
 
deadsanta
2023-01-28 11:01:59 AM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.


They make anti-guns now?!? I waaaant  one!

/sung in ann magnuson's voice
 
RyogaM
2023-01-28 11:02:09 AM  

gilgigamesh: It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.


The Rodney King riots happened not when the video came out, but when the cops who beat King were found not guilty of it later.  Riots in the face of injustice tend to be rational.
 
Weatherkiss [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-28 11:02:38 AM  
We ready to defund/abolish the police yet? No? Okay, I'll come back and ask again after the next tragedy the police cause.
 
gilgigamesh
2023-01-28 11:02:45 AM  

RyogaM: gilgigamesh: It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The Rodney King riots happened not when the video came out, but when the cops who beat King were found not guilty of it later.  Riots in the face of injustice tend to be rational.


Correct.
 
Basket Of Deplorables
2023-01-28 11:03:20 AM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.


Good luck shooting at police! Let us all know how that works out for ya
 
Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger
2023-01-28 11:03:23 AM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.


Having a gun would have helped Tyre Nichols how, exactly?
 
Serious Black
2023-01-28 11:04:48 AM  

RyogaM: gilgigamesh: It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The Rodney King riots happened not when the video came out, but when the cops who beat King were found not guilty of it later.  Riots in the face of injustice tend to be rational.


Americans wouldn't hate cops so much if American cops were simply held to the same standards as any other gang member were when they commit dastardly acts.
 
RyogaM
2023-01-28 11:05:11 AM  

RyogaM: gilgigamesh: It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The Rodney King riots happened not when the video came out, but when the cops who beat King were found not guilty of it later.  Riots in the face of injustice tend to be rational.


I just realized I copied what your comment said, almost exactly.  I'm still a little sleepy.
 
Gpzjock
2023-01-28 11:05:41 AM  

LordJiro: Lonestar: https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/26/us/what-we-know-tyre-nichols-death/index.html

The attorneys for the family are describing the videos as heinous.

"What did I do?"

Nothing Tyre, you did nothing. You were black, that is all.

Yep. Doesn't even matter that his murderers were also black, because when it comes down to it, the only 'race' that matters in that situation is 'cop'.

The American police system is not salvageable. It's nothing more than an organized crime syndicate given state protection. The whole farking thing needs to be torn down and rebuilt.


Why don't you give all that Army surplus equipment the cops got to keep to Ukraine.
If they can't play nice take all the toys away.
cdn.abcotvs.comView Full Size
 
Eddie Barzoom
2023-01-28 11:05:46 AM  

Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.

Having a gun would have helped Tyre Nichols how, exactly?


He'd have suffered less before he died.
 
gilgigamesh
2023-01-28 11:06:46 AM  

RyogaM: RyogaM: gilgigamesh: It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The Rodney King riots happened not when the video came out, but when the cops who beat King were found not guilty of it later.  Riots in the face of injustice tend to be rational.

I just realized I copied what your comment said, almost exactly.  I'm still a little sleepy.


Well no, you brought up another good example that adds support to that point.

Now go get some coffee.
 
Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger
2023-01-28 11:08:02 AM  

DoctorCal: gilgigamesh: jso2897: odinsposse: But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.

Here in L.A., my local Liberal MediaTM has been breathlessly showing footage of people shouting at cops, along with exhortations to be terrified and enraged about it.

I think it's important to point out that all the people who predicted Memphis would burn to the ground yesterday were wrong. Protests were largely peaceful, and Memphis is still there.  Why? Because the perpetrators are apparently being brought to justice.

Rioting is rational. It is the voice of the people crying out against corrupt injustice.  If the people see justice being done, they don't riot. Simple as that.

It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The problem is that people who want the public to embrace that narrative send goons in to break shiat.


No that's too shiatty dot jpg
 
deadsanta
2023-01-28 11:08:11 AM  

Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.

Having a gun would have helped Tyre Nichols how, exactly?


Actually, he said an "anti-gun," so presumably you would point your anti-gun at a gun, pull the trigger, and both would disappear.  Or explode cataclysmically.  Not a very well thought-out product.
 
Gpzjock
2023-01-28 11:09:44 AM  

Weatherkiss: We ready to defund/abolish the police yet? No? Okay, I'll come back and ask again after the next tragedy the police cause.


It will have to form an orderly queue along with preventing school shootings and universal healthcare.
None of this is going to happen as long as assholes say they aren't the problem.
 
Elliot8654
2023-01-28 11:09:51 AM  

Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger: DoctorCal: gilgigamesh: jso2897: odinsposse: But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.

Here in L.A., my local Liberal MediaTM has been breathlessly showing footage of people shouting at cops, along with exhortations to be terrified and enraged about it.

I think it's important to point out that all the people who predicted Memphis would burn to the ground yesterday were wrong. Protests were largely peaceful, and Memphis is still there.  Why? Because the perpetrators are apparently being brought to justice.

Rioting is rational. It is the voice of the people crying out against corrupt injustice.  If the people see justice being done, they don't riot. Simple as that.

It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The problem is that people who want the public to embrace that narrative send goons in to break shiat.

No that's too shiatty dot jpg


I mean....

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
jso2897 [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 11:10:03 AM  

deadsanta: Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.

Having a gun would have helped Tyre Nichols how, exactly?

Actually, he said an "anti-gun," so presumably you would point your anti-gun at a gun, pull the trigger, and both would disappear.  Or explode cataclysmically.  Not a very well thought-out product.


Well, it would be if we could make enough of them.
 
RyogaM
2023-01-28 11:10:14 AM  

Serious Black: Americans wouldn't hate cops so much if American cops were simply held to the same standards as any other gang member were when they commit dastardly acts.


I long for the day when cops realize that protecting the bad cops in their departments just leads to the public hating every cop, everywhere.  They are actively creating the hatred they face by refusing to do something as simple as not allow their fellow cops to be violent, raging assholes.  Of course, the job attracts violent, raging assholes, so I will be long dead before that realization ever happens.
 
gilgigamesh
2023-01-28 11:10:35 AM  

Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger: DoctorCal: gilgigamesh: jso2897: odinsposse: But if anyone, anywhere breaks a window that proves that all protestors are violent out of control thugs.

Here in L.A., my local Liberal MediaTM has been breathlessly showing footage of people shouting at cops, along with exhortations to be terrified and enraged about it.

I think it's important to point out that all the people who predicted Memphis would burn to the ground yesterday were wrong. Protests were largely peaceful, and Memphis is still there.  Why? Because the perpetrators are apparently being brought to justice.

Rioting is rational. It is the voice of the people crying out against corrupt injustice.  If the people see justice being done, they don't riot. Simple as that.

It's irresponsible to play into the assumption that rioters are unhinged violent animals looking for an excuse to break shiat. Remember that the next time this happens.

The problem is that people who want the public to embrace that narrative send goons in to break shiat.

No that's too shiatty dot jpg


He's not wrong.
 
QuesoDelicioso [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 11:12:37 AM  

Hunter Biden's Oversized Yogurt Slinger: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Joking aside, this is why I'm anti-gun control.

Having a gun would have helped Tyre Nichols how, exactly?


Five on one is long odds even if you're heavily armed. Now, five on five and everyone's armed, that's when the calculus changes. Cops are notoriously cowardly after all.
 
Needlessly Complicated [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 11:12:44 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
RasIanI
2023-01-28 11:12:59 AM  

QuesoDelicioso: LordJiro: Doesn't even matter that his murderers were also black, because when it comes down to it, the only 'race' that matters in that situation is 'cop'.

I suspect that this is why we're seeing a less than full-throated defense of the cops in this situation. Right-wing dickheads were falling all over themselves to stick up for Derek Chauvin, but they're curiously quiet now.


Turns out some level of accountability such as that received by Chauvin is enough for many, many observors. For decades we were all assured that if police faced any accountability, that society would fall apart.
 
jso2897 [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 11:16:29 AM  
Yesterday, I turned on the TV and my local news (I live in LA) was showing footage from downtown LA.
There were some protestors walking down a street, shouting at some cops who were walking along with them, flanking them. Nobody was doing anything to anybody.
Meanwhile, the talking head who was providing the voice over was going into hysterics about "violent protest" and every related fear-trigger she could come up with.
The media is pretty much all corporate fascist propaganda at this point, and they aren't trying to hide it anymore.
 
RasIanI
2023-01-28 11:16:46 AM  

Gpzjock: LordJiro: Lonestar: https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/26/us/what-we-know-tyre-nichols-death/index.html

The attorneys for the family are describing the videos as heinous.

"What did I do?"

Nothing Tyre, you did nothing. You were black, that is all.

Yep. Doesn't even matter that his murderers were also black, because when it comes down to it, the only 'race' that matters in that situation is 'cop'.

The American police system is not salvageable. It's nothing more than an organized crime syndicate given state protection. The whole farking thing needs to be torn down and rebuilt.

Why don't you give all that Army surplus equipment the cops got to keep to Ukraine.
If they can't play nice take all the toys away.
[cdn.abcotvs.com image 850x478]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Karma Chameleon
2023-01-28 11:18:55 AM  
I was going to support police reform until they said defund, I swear. But now I have to support police brutality. Thanks liberals.
 
gilgigamesh
2023-01-28 11:28:12 AM  

Karma Chameleon: I was going to support police reform until they said defund, I swear. But now I have to support police brutality. Thanks liberals.


Now I know Bill Maher's Fark handle.
 
WelldeadLink
2023-01-28 11:29:26 AM  
The Onion is the style of our time.
 
ChimpMitten
2023-01-28 11:29:38 AM  

Karma Chameleon: I was going to support police reform until they said defund, I swear. But now I have to support police brutality. Thanks liberals.


I support social workers as the primary response for many situations where police are involved, but only if they are well armed, unaccountable, filtered and trained to be rascist sociopaths, and encouraged to drink heavily to deal with their emotional issues.
 
Richard Freckle [TotalFark]
2023-01-28 11:30:09 AM  

switterstilts: cwheelie: That's not even satire - that's brilliant

That's not even just brilliant - it's art


art is now just statement of fact.
 
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