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(Texas Monthly)   The 2003 Austin that appeared on the show was still largely a town of stoners and students; Dallas would be more likely to start shooting back   (texasmonthly.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, The Zombies, Zombie, Zombie apocalypse, Fungus, San Antonio, Texas, Apocalypse, city's traffic  
•       •       •

1154 clicks; posted to Fandom » and STEM » on 26 Jan 2023 at 12:50 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2023-01-26 12:02:29 PM  
Let's not encourage to be MORE texan.

mkay?
 
2023-01-26 12:42:22 PM  
Austin has a secret weapon...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-26 1:01:12 PM  
In Dallas, people going insane and attacking others would be assumed to be on their way to or from work.
 
2023-01-26 1:08:48 PM  
Well, that was boring. Reminder Texas Monthly: If you're gonna do something goofy like rate the survivability of cities in the event of a zombie/mushroom apocalypse, you really need to lean into it.

Also: Anyone rating Houston a death trap because of the inability to get out has never lived there. Those people know more about driving in dangerous situations than Baja race guys. You have to have skillz just to get to the HEB and buy milk.
 
2023-01-26 1:09:20 PM  
Yeah, Austin hasn't been cool since the turn of the century.
 
2023-01-26 1:39:45 PM  
Who gives a f**k?
They can have it.
 
2023-01-26 1:56:51 PM  
I'll never understand why Amarillo is considered west Texas instead of North Texas considering it is much further north than Dallas.
 
2023-01-26 2:07:44 PM  

Gift Horses Mouth: I'll never understand why Amarillo is considered west Texas instead of North Texas considering it is much further north than Dallas.


It's more of a cultural thing than a geographic thing in that case.
 
2023-01-26 2:13:19 PM  

JammerJim: Gift Horses Mouth: I'll never understand why Amarillo is considered west Texas instead of North Texas considering it is much further north than Dallas.

It's more of a cultural thing than a geographic thing in that case.


East Texas is woods and swamps, or at least somewhere in transition from that to desert, Amarillo is plain old desert as far as I know (never been there).

/Still don't trust Zoom
 
2023-01-26 2:19:46 PM  
Lubbock has been an apocalyptic zombie wasteland for decades.  Nobody really noticed.
 
2023-01-26 2:28:59 PM  
2003 Austin was a vibrant, affordable city that still had black people and mexicans in it. It wasn't "stoners and students" and it sure as shiat wasn't a town. It had character, too bad nobody wanted to keep austin weird.

Gift Horses Mouth: I'll never understand why Amarillo is considered west Texas instead of North Texas considering it is much further north than Dallas.


I'll never understand why "the midwest" is actually just the middle of the country.

Anything from Fredericksburg on West is not worth acknowledging
 
2023-01-26 2:30:15 PM  

moothemagiccow: I'll never understand why "the midwest" is actually just the middle of the country.


East Coast bias is real as Christian and white.
 
2023-01-26 2:40:36 PM  

steve_wmn: East Texas is woods and swamps, or at least somewhere in transition from that to desert, Amarillo is plain old desert as far as I know (never been there).


If you define "transition" as "several hundred miles of plains and prairie with some woods mixed in, plus the Hill country if you take a more southerly route", then yeah, you could say that.

We may be ruled by the Cowboy Taliban, but we at least have some cool biological diversity -- for a while yet.
 
2023-01-26 2:46:00 PM  

steve_wmn: JammerJim: Gift Horses Mouth: I'll never understand why Amarillo is considered west Texas instead of North Texas considering it is much further north than Dallas.

It's more of a cultural thing than a geographic thing in that case.

East Texas is woods and swamps, or at least somewhere in transition from that to desert, Amarillo is plain old desert as far as I know (never been there).


Amarillo is more plains than it is dessert. El Paso OTOH is dessert. Been to both
 
2023-01-26 2:53:39 PM  

Gift Horses Mouth: Amarillo is more plains than it is dessert. El Paso OTOH is dessert. Been to both


Fark rule: No facts about Texas from posters who have been to Texas in Texas threads. Modminuets, arrest this person.
 
2023-01-26 3:07:32 PM  
Austin in 2003 was not just potheads and students... Sure, lots of them, but plenty of Texas types as well.
 
2023-01-26 4:10:06 PM  

moothemagiccow: 2003 Austin was a vibrant, affordable city that still had black people and mexicans in it. It wasn't "stoners and students" and it sure as shiat wasn't a town. It had character, too bad nobody wanted to keep austin weird.


I strongly considered staying and going to UT:Austin in 2005... but I kind of had the feeling it was going to sh*t quickly based upon all the people from the Northeast I met who had moved there, so I went back home. Haven't been back in jesus... nearly 20 years? But heard it is absolutely nothing like it was. 

It really was a special place.
 
2023-01-26 5:10:33 PM  

BretMavrik: Austin has a secret weapon...

[Fark user image image 400x300]


I really should rewatch that. The last time I saw it was on vhs.
 
2023-01-26 5:11:35 PM  

TheSubjunctive: Lubbock has been an apocalyptic zombie wasteland for decades.  Nobody really noticed.


Lubbock hasn't been the same since Buddy Holly died.
 
2023-01-26 5:15:25 PM  

NewportBarGuy: moothemagiccow: 2003 Austin was a vibrant, affordable city that still had black people and mexicans in it. It wasn't "stoners and students" and it sure as shiat wasn't a town. It had character, too bad nobody wanted to keep austin weird.

I strongly considered staying and going to UT:Austin in 2005... but I kind of had the feeling it was going to sh*t quickly based upon all the people from the Northeast I met who had moved there, so I went back home. Haven't been back in jesus... nearly 20 years? But heard it is absolutely nothing like it was. 

It really was a special place.


I used to go down to visit at least 3 or 4 times a year from 1998 to 2004. It was fun.
Now, it's like an overpriced hipster theme park version of itself with even worse traffic.
 
2023-01-26 6:08:34 PM  

Gift Horses Mouth: I'll never understand why Amarillo is considered west Texas instead of North Texas considering it is much further north than Dallas.


It's also quite a bit west of Dallas.
 
2023-01-26 6:13:50 PM  
We're unlikely to know for sure, but the odds seem pretty good that the Dallas that exists in The Last of Us's 2023 universe barely exists at all, after a few days of skirmishes between locals, an encroaching military dictatorship, and zombified mushroom people.

That's just Dallas...
 
2023-01-26 6:14:05 PM  
Fun fact: Dallas has tunnels. They're pretty nice, too. I mean, they wouldn't be nice after a zombie apocalypse, they'd be a death trap, but still.
 
2023-01-26 10:00:28 PM  

Gift Horses Mouth: I'll never understand why Amarillo is considered west Texas instead of North Texas considering it is much further north than Dallas.


Why is Virginia etc. considered "The South" but SoCal isn't?
 
2023-01-26 10:03:12 PM  
Quote from the article: 'a TV version of Austin that looks suspiciously like Alberta, Canada.' Which part of Alberta? Alberta is very nearly the size of Texas. You talkin' about the mountains, the wheat fields, the oil sands, the Badlands, what?
 
2023-01-26 10:03:19 PM  

NewportBarGuy: moothemagiccow: 2003 Austin was a vibrant, affordable city that still had black people and mexicans in it. It wasn't "stoners and students" and it sure as shiat wasn't a town. It had character, too bad nobody wanted to keep austin weird.

I strongly considered staying and going to UT:Austin in 2005... but I kind of had the feeling it was going to sh*t quickly based upon all the people from the Northeast I met who had moved there, so I went back home. Haven't been back in jesus... nearly 20 years? But heard it is absolutely nothing like it was. 

It really was a special place.


You can thank the tech boom for that. Where you had a lot of diversify before are...condos. So many condos and highrise luxury apartments.
 
2023-01-26 10:09:30 PM  

the money is in the banana stand: Why is Virginia etc. considered "The South" but SoCal isn't?


East Coast bias is real as Christian and white.
 
2023-01-26 10:41:01 PM  
Houston has "bad traffic"?

Are these people actually suffering from a learning disability?  Houston has a better road system than almost any city in the nation, arguably, and in the context of Texas specifically it's not even slightly arguable.  And that road system is designed with movement in and out of the city in mind more than getting from one part of the city to another, something that unlike any other Texas city explicitly includes full evacuations of the population (Hurricanes, bro).

If your plan in a zombie apocalypse is to get out of town... though I don't know why you'd think areas less populated by living humans would be less populated by undead creatures with none of the needs or drives that create human population density patterns, but whatever... Houston is literally first pick if you're stuck with a starting location in North America.

Amarillo is... that's farking west texas ag country, you'd be farked instantly by lack of gas stockpiles and operations to keep mobile and terrain that favors the zombies a lot more than living people once what little gas you have runs out, plus a much more widely and less-predictably scattered starting population of zombies.  And you're turbofarked if it's one of the zombie curses that jumps the species barrier and the cows start coming back.

// Also: the fact that there's an ocean full of farking boats, floating platforms, and regular water traffic by Houston is a downside in this situation?  Are these aquatic mermaid-zombies?  Are these zombies that can operate and maintain watercraft?  Can the zombies fly helicopters in this scenario?  What even is this?  Even the Walking Dead's braindead spinoffs picked up on the basic 'boat = safe' thing.
 
2023-01-26 11:13:23 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Houston has "bad traffic"?


Houston insecurity is real. And earned.
 
2023-01-26 11:21:55 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Houston has "bad traffic"?

Are these people actually suffering from a learning disability?  Houston has a better road system than almost any city in the nation, arguably, and in the context of Texas specifically it's not even slightly arguable.  And that road system is designed with movement in and out of the city in mind more than getting from one part of the city to another, something that unlike any other Texas city explicitly includes full evacuations of the population (Hurricanes, bro).

If your plan in a zombie apocalypse is to get out of town... though I don't know why you'd think areas less populated by living humans would be less populated by undead creatures with none of the needs or drives that create human population density patterns, but whatever... Houston is literally first pick if you're stuck with a starting location in North America.

Amarillo is... that's farking west texas ag country, you'd be farked instantly by lack of gas stockpiles and operations to keep mobile and terrain that favors the zombies a lot more than living people once what little gas you have runs out, plus a much more widely and less-predictably scattered starting population of zombies.  And you're turbofarked if it's one of the zombie curses that jumps the species barrier and the cows start coming back.

// Also: the fact that there's an ocean full of farking boats, floating platforms, and regular water traffic by Houston is a downside in this situation?  Are these aquatic mermaid-zombies?  Are these zombies that can operate and maintain watercraft?  Can the zombies fly helicopters in this scenario?  What even is this?  Even the Walking Dead's braindead spinoffs picked up on the basic 'boat = safe' thing.


Hi, Houstonian here. Grew up and lived here all my life. We are in a constant state of growth when it comes to our roadways. Traffic is really bad here. The 610 stretch from 45 all the way past the Galleria to 59 is always horrible. The 290 project took well over 2 decades and despite the huge expansion to I-10, it is almost time to do it AGAIN. 45 from The Woodlands all the way down to Clear Lake is the most dangerous and terrible stretches of freeway that I have ever encountered. I can drive from my house to Austin almost as fast as I can get all the way across Houston sometimes in heavy traffic.

While major freeways are designed for through traffic, especially I-10, you hit major slowdowns from the East starting almost in Baytown until you get through Brookshire now. What Houston is lacking is either an elevated or dedicated bypasses for HOV and 18-wheelers. Our HOV is right down the middle of the damn freeway and dumps everyone into gridlock constantly. There are far better uses and designs for it. The interchanges are maniacally constructed also. Good luck getting over 4-6 lanes of traffic immediately 2 hours on either side of peak rush hour traffic, only for it to merge to 1 lane and then you have to do the same exact thing. What is really fun are the fun interchanges where ramps cross so it looks like you are going North but really it takes you Southbound. 59/610 is so incredibly white-knuckle bad.

Now, for a zombie apocalypse, it really depends where in Houston you are. Did you try to evacuate Houston during Rita? I did. 26 hours straight drive to Dallas. That drive normally takes 4 hours. Almost ran out of gas twice I think? It was pure and utter chaos and that was when we had a good amount of advance notice and weren't in the midst of a crisis. I DO agree with the premise that depending where you are would greatly impact your odds of survival. Being near the port, NASA or Galveston would put you in a good position. It would be really difficult however if you were inside the Loop or had to cross the city.

If I had to pick somewhere to get to, it probably would be toward Clear Lake / NASA. 45 South would probably be a no-go, but I know of at least 2 back routes and do have a couple ATVs that could make it if I really had to with my bug-out bag. You have the ocean, railroad, favorable geographic elements protecting you, outside of hurricanes, don't really have any risks. If you have a bunker to shelter in, that basically removes any real risk. You could create a choke point and there are tons of resources there. Having an airfield, port, railroad, and a ton of brilliant minds nearby would not hurt.
 
2023-01-27 12:47:57 AM  

the money is in the banana stand: Jim_Callahan: Houston has "bad traffic"?

Are these people actually suffering from a learning disability?  Houston has a better road system than almost any city in the nation, arguably, and in the context of Texas specifically it's not even slightly arguable.  And that road system is designed with movement in and out of the city in mind more than getting from one part of the city to another, something that unlike any other Texas city explicitly includes full evacuations of the population (Hurricanes, bro).

If your plan in a zombie apocalypse is to get out of town... though I don't know why you'd think areas less populated by living humans would be less populated by undead creatures with none of the needs or drives that create human population density patterns, but whatever... Houston is literally first pick if you're stuck with a starting location in North America.

Amarillo is... that's farking west texas ag country, you'd be farked instantly by lack of gas stockpiles and operations to keep mobile and terrain that favors the zombies a lot more than living people once what little gas you have runs out, plus a much more widely and less-predictably scattered starting population of zombies.  And you're turbofarked if it's one of the zombie curses that jumps the species barrier and the cows start coming back.

// Also: the fact that there's an ocean full of farking boats, floating platforms, and regular water traffic by Houston is a downside in this situation?  Are these aquatic mermaid-zombies?  Are these zombies that can operate and maintain watercraft?  Can the zombies fly helicopters in this scenario?  What even is this?  Even the Walking Dead's braindead spinoffs picked up on the basic 'boat = safe' thing.

Hi, Houstonian here. Grew up and lived here all my life. We are in a constant state of growth when it comes to our roadways. Traffic is really bad here. The 610 stretch from 45 all the way past the Galleria to 59 is always horrible. The 290 project took well over 2 decades and despite the huge expansion to I-10, it is almost time to do it AGAIN. 45 from The Woodlands all the way down to Clear Lake is the most dangerous and terrible stretches of freeway that I have ever encountered. I can drive from my house to Austin almost as fast as I can get all the way across Houston sometimes in heavy traffic.

While major freeways are designed for through traffic, especially I-10, you hit major slowdowns from the East starting almost in Baytown until you get through Brookshire now. What Houston is lacking is either an elevated or dedicated bypasses for HOV and 18-wheelers. Our HOV is right down the middle of the damn freeway and dumps everyone into gridlock constantly. There are far better uses and designs for it. The interchanges are maniacally constructed also. Good luck getting over 4-6 lanes of traffic immediately 2 hours on either side of peak rush hour traffic, only for it to merge to 1 lane and then you have to do the same exact thing. What is really fun are the fun interchanges where ramps cross so it looks like you are going North but really it takes you Southbound. 59/610 is so incredibly white-knuckle bad.

Now, for a zombie apocalypse, it really depends where in Houston you are. Did you try to evacuate Houston during Rita? I did. 26 hours straight drive to Dallas. That drive normally takes 4 hours. Almost ran out of gas twice I think? It was pure and utter chaos and that was when we had a good amount of advance notice and weren't in the midst of a crisis. I DO agree with the premise that depending where you are would greatly impact your odds of survival. Being near the port, NASA or Galveston would put you in a good position. It would be really difficult however if you were inside the Loop or had to cross the city.

If I had to pick somewhere to get to, it probably would be toward Clear Lake / NASA. 45 South would probably be a no-go, but I know of at least 2 back routes and do have a couple ATVs that could make it if I really had to with my bug-out bag. You have the ocean, railroad, favorable geographic elements protecting you, outside of hurricanes, don't really have any risks. If you have a bunker to shelter in, that basically removes any real risk. You could create a choke point and there are tons of resources there. Having an airfield, port, railroad, and a ton of brilliant minds nearby would not hurt.


Houston isn't near an ocean.
 
2023-01-27 1:03:40 AM  

Herr Flick's Revenge: the money is in the banana stand: Jim_Callahan: Houston has "bad traffic"?

Are these people actually suffering from a learning disability?  Houston has a better road system than almost any city in the nation, arguably, and in the context of Texas specifically it's not even slightly arguable.  And that road system is designed with movement in and out of the city in mind more than getting from one part of the city to another, something that unlike any other Texas city explicitly includes full evacuations of the population (Hurricanes, bro).

If your plan in a zombie apocalypse is to get out of town... though I don't know why you'd think areas less populated by living humans would be less populated by undead creatures with none of the needs or drives that create human population density patterns, but whatever... Houston is literally first pick if you're stuck with a starting location in North America.

Amarillo is... that's farking west texas ag country, you'd be farked instantly by lack of gas stockpiles and operations to keep mobile and terrain that favors the zombies a lot more than living people once what little gas you have runs out, plus a much more widely and less-predictably scattered starting population of zombies.  And you're turbofarked if it's one of the zombie curses that jumps the species barrier and the cows start coming back.

// Also: the fact that there's an ocean full of farking boats, floating platforms, and regular water traffic by Houston is a downside in this situation?  Are these aquatic mermaid-zombies?  Are these zombies that can operate and maintain watercraft?  Can the zombies fly helicopters in this scenario?  What even is this?  Even the Walking Dead's braindead spinoffs picked up on the basic 'boat = safe' thing.

Hi, Houstonian here. Grew up and lived here all my life. We are in a constant state of growth when it comes to our roadways. Traffic is really bad here. The 610 stretch from 45 all the way past the Galleria to 59 is always horrible. The 290 project took well over 2 decades and despite the huge expansion to I-10, it is almost time to do it AGAIN. 45 from The Woodlands all the way down to Clear Lake is the most dangerous and terrible stretches of freeway that I have ever encountered. I can drive from my house to Austin almost as fast as I can get all the way across Houston sometimes in heavy traffic.

While major freeways are designed for through traffic, especially I-10, you hit major slowdowns from the East starting almost in Baytown until you get through Brookshire now. What Houston is lacking is either an elevated or dedicated bypasses for HOV and 18-wheelers. Our HOV is right down the middle of the damn freeway and dumps everyone into gridlock constantly. There are far better uses and designs for it. The interchanges are maniacally constructed also. Good luck getting over 4-6 lanes of traffic immediately 2 hours on either side of peak rush hour traffic, only for it to merge to 1 lane and then you have to do the same exact thing. What is really fun are the fun interchanges where ramps cross so it looks like you are going North but really it takes you Southbound. 59/610 is so incredibly white-knuckle bad.

Now, for a zombie apocalypse, it really depends where in Houston you are. Did you try to evacuate Houston during Rita? I did. 26 hours straight drive to Dallas. That drive normally takes 4 hours. Almost ran out of gas twice I think? It was pure and utter chaos and that was when we had a good amount of advance notice and weren't in the midst of a crisis. I DO agree with the premise that depending where you are would greatly impact your odds of survival. Being near the port, NASA or Galveston would put you in a good position. It would be really difficult however if you were inside the Loop or had to cross the city.

If I had to pick somewhere to get to, it probably would be toward Clear Lake / NASA. 45 South would probably be a no-go, but I know of at least 2 back routes and do have a couple ATVs that could make it if I really had to with my bug-out bag. You have the ocean, railroad, favorable geographic elements protecting you, outside of hurricanes, don't really have any risks. If you have a bunker to shelter in, that basically removes any real risk. You could create a choke point and there are tons of resources there. Having an airfield, port, railroad, and a ton of brilliant minds nearby would not hurt.

Houston isn't near an ocean.


Houston ship channel must be fake news? Houston proper is about 20 to 30 minutes from the ocean...
 
2023-01-27 1:21:35 AM  

the money is in the banana stand: Herr Flick's Revenge: the money is in the banana stand: Jim_Callahan: Houston has "bad traffic"?

Are these people actually suffering from a learning disability?  Houston has a better road system than almost any city in the nation, arguably, and in the context of Texas specifically it's not even slightly arguable.  And that road system is designed with movement in and out of the city in mind more than getting from one part of the city to another, something that unlike any other Texas city explicitly includes full evacuations of the population (Hurricanes, bro).

If your plan in a zombie apocalypse is to get out of town... though I don't know why you'd think areas less populated by living humans would be less populated by undead creatures with none of the needs or drives that create human population density patterns, but whatever... Houston is literally first pick if you're stuck with a starting location in North America.

Amarillo is... that's farking west texas ag country, you'd be farked instantly by lack of gas stockpiles and operations to keep mobile and terrain that favors the zombies a lot more than living people once what little gas you have runs out, plus a much more widely and less-predictably scattered starting population of zombies.  And you're turbofarked if it's one of the zombie curses that jumps the species barrier and the cows start coming back.

// Also: the fact that there's an ocean full of farking boats, floating platforms, and regular water traffic by Houston is a downside in this situation?  Are these aquatic mermaid-zombies?  Are these zombies that can operate and maintain watercraft?  Can the zombies fly helicopters in this scenario?  What even is this?  Even the Walking Dead's braindead spinoffs picked up on the basic 'boat = safe' thing.

Hi, Houstonian here. Grew up and lived here all my life. We are in a constant state of growth when it comes to our roadways. Traffic is really bad here. The 610 stretch from 45 all the way past the Galleria to 59 is always horrible. The 290 project took well over 2 decades and despite the huge expansion to I-10, it is almost time to do it AGAIN. 45 from The Woodlands all the way down to Clear Lake is the most dangerous and terrible stretches of freeway that I have ever encountered. I can drive from my house to Austin almost as fast as I can get all the way across Houston sometimes in heavy traffic.

While major freeways are designed for through traffic, especially I-10, you hit major slowdowns from the East starting almost in Baytown until you get through Brookshire now. What Houston is lacking is either an elevated or dedicated bypasses for HOV and 18-wheelers. Our HOV is right down the middle of the damn freeway and dumps everyone into gridlock constantly. There are far better uses and designs for it. The interchanges are maniacally constructed also. Good luck getting over 4-6 lanes of traffic immediately 2 hours on either side of peak rush hour traffic, only for it to merge to 1 lane and then you have to do the same exact thing. What is really fun are the fun interchanges where ramps cross so it looks like you are going North but really it takes you Southbound. 59/610 is so incredibly white-knuckle bad.

Now, for a zombie apocalypse, it really depends where in Houston you are. Did you try to evacuate Houston during Rita? I did. 26 hours straight drive to Dallas. That drive normally takes 4 hours. Almost ran out of gas twice I think? It was pure and utter chaos and that was when we had a good amount of advance notice and weren't in the midst of a crisis. I DO agree with the premise that depending where you are would greatly impact your odds of survival. Being near the port, NASA or Galveston would put you in a good position. It would be really difficult however if you were inside the Loop or had to cross the city.

If I had to pick somewhere to get to, it probably would be toward Clear Lake / NASA. 45 South would probably be a no-go, but I know of at least 2 back routes and do have a couple ATVs that could make it if I really had to with my bug-out bag. You have the ocean, railroad, favorable geographic elements protecting you, outside of hurricanes, don't really have any risks. If you have a bunker to shelter in, that basically removes any real risk. You could create a choke point and there are tons of resources there. Having an airfield, port, railroad, and a ton of brilliant minds nearby would not hurt.

Houston isn't near an ocean.

Houston ship channel must be fake news? Houston proper is about 20 to 30 minutes from the ocean...


Gulf of Mexico is not an ocean.

/Ninja Warrior Trainer
 
2023-01-27 9:52:08 AM  

Herr Flick's Revenge: the money is in the banana stand: Herr Flick's Revenge: the money is in the banana stand: Jim_Callahan: Houston has "bad traffic"?

Are these people actually suffering from a learning disability?  Houston has a better road system than almost any city in the nation, arguably, and in the context of Texas specifically it's not even slightly arguable.  And that road system is designed with movement in and out of the city in mind more than getting from one part of the city to another, something that unlike any other Texas city explicitly includes full evacuations of the population (Hurricanes, bro).

If your plan in a zombie apocalypse is to get out of town... though I don't know why you'd think areas less populated by living humans would be less populated by undead creatures with none of the needs or drives that create human population density patterns, but whatever... Houston is literally first pick if you're stuck with a starting location in North America.

Amarillo is... that's farking west texas ag country, you'd be farked instantly by lack of gas stockpiles and operations to keep mobile and terrain that favors the zombies a lot more than living people once what little gas you have runs out, plus a much more widely and less-predictably scattered starting population of zombies.  And you're turbofarked if it's one of the zombie curses that jumps the species barrier and the cows start coming back.

// Also: the fact that there's an ocean full of farking boats, floating platforms, and regular water traffic by Houston is a downside in this situation?  Are these aquatic mermaid-zombies?  Are these zombies that can operate and maintain watercraft?  Can the zombies fly helicopters in this scenario?  What even is this?  Even the Walking Dead's braindead spinoffs picked up on the basic 'boat = safe' thing.

Hi, Houstonian here. Grew up and lived here all my life. We are in a constant state of growth when it comes to our roadways. Traffic is really bad here. The 610 stretch from 45 all the way past the Galleria to 59 is always horrible. The 290 project took well over 2 decades and despite the huge expansion to I-10, it is almost time to do it AGAIN. 45 from The Woodlands all the way down to Clear Lake is the most dangerous and terrible stretches of freeway that I have ever encountered. I can drive from my house to Austin almost as fast as I can get all the way across Houston sometimes in heavy traffic.

While major freeways are designed for through traffic, especially I-10, you hit major slowdowns from the East starting almost in Baytown until you get through Brookshire now. What Houston is lacking is either an elevated or dedicated bypasses for HOV and 18-wheelers. Our HOV is right down the middle of the damn freeway and dumps everyone into gridlock constantly. There are far better uses and designs for it. The interchanges are maniacally constructed also. Good luck getting over 4-6 lanes of traffic immediately 2 hours on either side of peak rush hour traffic, only for it to merge to 1 lane and then you have to do the same exact thing. What is really fun are the fun interchanges where ramps cross so it looks like you are going North but really it takes you Southbound. 59/610 is so incredibly white-knuckle bad.

Now, for a zombie apocalypse, it really depends where in Houston you are. Did you try to evacuate Houston during Rita? I did. 26 hours straight drive to Dallas. That drive normally takes 4 hours. Almost ran out of gas twice I think? It was pure and utter chaos and that was when we had a good amount of advance notice and weren't in the midst of a crisis. I DO agree with the premise that depending where you are would greatly impact your odds of survival. Being near the port, NASA or Galveston would put you in a good position. It would be really difficult however if you were inside the Loop or had to cross the city.

If I had to pick somewhere to get to, it probably would be toward Clear Lake / NASA. 45 South would probably be a no-go, but I know of at least 2 back routes and do have a couple ATVs that could make it if I really had to with my bug-out bag. You have the ocean, railroad, favorable geographic elements protecting you, outside of hurricanes, don't really have any risks. If you have a bunker to shelter in, that basically removes any real risk. You could create a choke point and there are tons of resources there. Having an airfield, port, railroad, and a ton of brilliant minds nearby would not hurt.

Houston isn't near an ocean.

Houston ship channel must be fake news? Houston proper is about 20 to 30 minutes from the ocean...

Gulf of Mexico is not an ocean.


The Gulf is the farking Atlantic.
 
2023-01-27 1:17:40 PM  

slobberbone: the money is in the banana stand: Why is Virginia etc. considered "The South" but SoCal isn't?

East Coast bias is real as Christian and white.


Also, American slavery worked best in well watered areas. It wouldn't have gotten past the deserts even if it had been legal there. "The South" basically means slave states.
 
2023-01-27 1:29:47 PM  

stoli n coke: The Gulf is the farking Atlantic.


Violation. Fact in Texas thread.

The rest of you can resume postings about how your racist state is superior to other racist states.
 
2023-01-27 5:57:20 PM  

moothemagiccow: 2003 Austin was a vibrant, affordable city that still had black people and mexicans in it.


Let's not fictionalize.  It was still whitebred as shiat and Mexicans were widely relegated to the other side of 35.
 
2023-01-27 6:00:56 PM  

stoli n coke: NewportBarGuy: moothemagiccow: 2003 Austin was a vibrant, affordable city that still had black people and mexicans in it. It wasn't "stoners and students" and it sure as shiat wasn't a town. It had character, too bad nobody wanted to keep austin weird.

I strongly considered staying and going to UT:Austin in 2005... but I kind of had the feeling it was going to sh*t quickly based upon all the people from the Northeast I met who had moved there, so I went back home. Haven't been back in jesus... nearly 20 years? But heard it is absolutely nothing like it was. 

It really was a special place.

I used to go down to visit at least 3 or 4 times a year from 1998 to 2004. It was fun.
Now, it's like an overpriced hipster theme park version of itself with even worse traffic.


I went to UT in 99.  People where whining then that Austin was ruined and hasn't been the same since the 80s.  I presume in the 80s people were whining that it was ruined in the 60s.
 
2023-01-27 6:02:35 PM  

Herr Flick's Revenge: Gulf of Mexico is not an ocean.


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