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(CNN)   Microsoft only made $16.4 billion in profits last quarter. EVERYBODY DOWNGRADE   (edition.cnn.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Computer, Personal computer, Revenue, Income, Microsoft Windows, Operating system, Windows Vista, Income statement  
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381 clicks; posted to Business » on 25 Jan 2023 at 8:50 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2023-01-25 9:10:29 AM  
I read somewhere that a major driver behind the tech layoffs was to cushion Wall Street expectations ahead of earnings calls this week and next. "Yes we made fewer billions than expected but look at all these people we fired!"

/capitalism
 
2023-01-25 9:28:54 AM  
Capitalism is farking insanity. Tell someone that a company is making that much in profit, and they'd think that company is doing amazingly well. But because it isn't x% MORE profit than previously, it's 'bad'.

Infinite exponential growth is not possible, but capitalism demands it. When the limits are reached and the whole system predictably shiats the bed, they break out the shocked Pikachu faces and/or blame poor people for not spending money they don't have, then go running to the government to demand handouts so they don't actually have to feel the consequences of their stupidity and greed.
 
2023-01-25 9:30:57 AM  
It would have been even higher, but YOU decided to use a pirate copy of Windows98 SE, so you're going to jail.
 
2023-01-25 9:34:47 AM  
The summation of their conference call is... We're not going to see growth for a long, long time.

It was pretty dour and the market, the whole market reacted very badly to it.
 
2023-01-25 9:39:52 AM  
Downgrades and stock price drops don't mean that anyone thinks the results are "bad". But just because the company is very profitable and certain to remain so, does not mean it has infinite value.

If you think $16.4 billion in profits in one quarter is worth over $1.75 trillion, you can probably find sellers for every dollar you are able to put behind that.
 
2023-01-25 9:49:22 AM  

NewportBarGuy: The summation of their conference call is... We're not going to see growth for a long, long time.

It was pretty dour and the market, the whole market reacted very badly to it.


And they still make money hand over fist.  If they can't grow, then they should raise the dividend.
 
2023-01-25 9:50:22 AM  

Rev.K: It would have been even higher, but YOU decided to use a pirate copy of Windows98 SE, so you're going to jail.


True story for everyone out there but any contemporary Windows desktop version will activate using a key from the appropriate Windows 7, 8 or 8.1 SKU . If you have an old PC that still has a product key sticker, you can use that sticker to activate a copy of Windows on at least one new computer or virtual machine. This has never stopped working since Windows 10 came out and it works with Windows 11 as well.

I walked around my town's recycling center and picked up probably 50 keys from dead laptops.
 
2023-01-25 9:52:25 AM  

LordJiro: Capitalism is farking insanity. Tell someone that a company is making that much in profit, and they'd think that company is doing amazingly well. But because it isn't x% MORE profit than previously, it's 'bad'.

Infinite exponential growth is not possible, but capitalism demands it. When the limits are reached and the whole system predictably shiats the bed, they break out the shocked Pikachu faces and/or blame poor people for not spending money they don't have, then go running to the government to demand handouts so they don't actually have to feel the consequences of their stupidity and greed.


Not capitalism.  It's the people who have hung onto the words of Milton Friedman who said the corporation is beholden to the shareholders.  That's when this BS started.
 
2023-01-25 10:30:33 AM  

Rapmaster2000: NewportBarGuy: The summation of their conference call is... We're not going to see growth for a long, long time.

It was pretty dour and the market, the whole market reacted very badly to it.

And they still make money hand over fist.  If they can't grow, then they should raise the dividend.


Oh, dear god... Yeah. Still profitable as all hell. Just no growth which mean no stock appreciation which freaks out the TRADERS not the investors.

Smart investors will let it pull back.. buy and if it pulls back more, buy more.

That company is just a place you throw money and forget about it.
 
2023-01-25 11:09:08 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Rapmaster2000: NewportBarGuy: The summation of their conference call is... We're not going to see growth for a long, long time.

It was pretty dour and the market, the whole market reacted very badly to it.

And they still make money hand over fist.  If they can't grow, then they should raise the dividend.

Oh, dear god... Yeah. Still profitable as all hell. Just no growth which mean no stock appreciation which freaks out the TRADERS not the investors.

Smart investors will let it pull back.. buy and if it pulls back more, buy more.

That company is just a place you throw money and forget about it.


I keep trimming my position because it gets too big and then I wish I hadn't because whatever I put the money into doesn't perform as well as the Microsoft shares I sold to get it.
 
2023-01-25 11:20:51 AM  

LordJiro: Capitalism is farking insanity. Tell someone that a company is making that much in profit, and they'd think that company is doing amazingly well. But because it isn't x% MORE profit than previously, it's 'bad'.

Infinite exponential growth is not possible, but capitalism demands it. When the limits are reached and the whole system predictably shiats the bed, they break out the shocked Pikachu faces and/or blame poor people for not spending money they don't have, then go running to the government to demand handouts so they don't actually have to feel the consequences of their stupidity and greed.


Meh, try harder. Pretty much every analyst (amateur or pro) I've read agrees Microsoft is a solid company. The valuation is the question mark, and there's nothing weird about asking whether it's a smart move to pay 25x earnings for a company growing at 1.9 percent (and forecasting worse) when the historic multiples have been 25 percent below that.
 
2023-01-25 11:25:14 AM  

Rapmaster2000: NewportBarGuy: Rapmaster2000: NewportBarGuy: The summation of their conference call is... We're not going to see growth for a long, long time.

It was pretty dour and the market, the whole market reacted very badly to it.

And they still make money hand over fist.  If they can't grow, then they should raise the dividend.

Oh, dear god... Yeah. Still profitable as all hell. Just no growth which mean no stock appreciation which freaks out the TRADERS not the investors.

Smart investors will let it pull back.. buy and if it pulls back more, buy more.

That company is just a place you throw money and forget about it.

I keep trimming my position because it gets too big and then I wish I hadn't because whatever I put the money into doesn't perform as well as the Microsoft shares I sold to get it.


Someone said, never looked if it were true or not... but if Gates held all his shares he'd be a Trillionaire at the highest valuation. Or, damn near it.

But, still... it's amazingly well run company. They always find a way to do the right thing when they have to. I mean, right thing to make money... not so much for the customer.
 
2023-01-25 12:11:45 PM  

NewportBarGuy: Rapmaster2000: NewportBarGuy: Rapmaster2000: NewportBarGuy: The summation of their conference call is... We're not going to see growth for a long, long time.

It was pretty dour and the market, the whole market reacted very badly to it.

And they still make money hand over fist.  If they can't grow, then they should raise the dividend.

Oh, dear god... Yeah. Still profitable as all hell. Just no growth which mean no stock appreciation which freaks out the TRADERS not the investors.

Smart investors will let it pull back.. buy and if it pulls back more, buy more.

That company is just a place you throw money and forget about it.

I keep trimming my position because it gets too big and then I wish I hadn't because whatever I put the money into doesn't perform as well as the Microsoft shares I sold to get it.

Someone said, never looked if it were true or not... but if Gates held all his shares he'd be a Trillionaire at the highest valuation. Or, damn near it.

But, still... it's amazingly well run company. They always find a way to do the right thing when they have to. I mean, right thing to make money... not so much for the customer.


Before he started selling, Bill Gates owned 2 billion shares of Microsoft. If he had kept it all he would have hit a net worth more than $650 billion. Not quite a trillion but insane none the less.
 
2023-01-25 12:23:07 PM  

blackminded: I read somewhere that a major driver behind the tech layoffs was to cushion Wall Street expectations ahead of earnings calls this week and next. "Yes we made fewer billions than expected but look at all these people we fired!"

/capitalism


Can't speak for every tech company, but Microsoft appears to have decided to kill off a bunch of unprofitable product / service lines in AR / Mixed Reality, metaverse etc. and those product teams made up the bulk of the layoffs. If that's true, then I think it's a decent move - why keep people around if you're going to kill that product.
 
2023-01-25 12:25:03 PM  

NewportBarGuy: Rapmaster2000: NewportBarGuy: The summation of their conference call is... We're not going to see growth for a long, long time.

It was pretty dour and the market, the whole market reacted very badly to it.

And they still make money hand over fist.  If they can't grow, then they should raise the dividend.

Oh, dear god... Yeah. Still profitable as all hell. Just no growth which mean no stock appreciation which freaks out the TRADERS not the investors.

Smart investors will let it pull back.. buy and if it pulls back more, buy more.

That company is just a place you throw money and forget about it.


Even with the latest report, they beat earnings estimates (which is good).  It is revenue where they came up short (which is bad) and the growth of their Cloud services started showing signs of slowing (which is concerning but not earth shattering).  Microsoft will be able to recover from it.
 
2023-01-25 12:30:52 PM  
$16.4b... Isn't that like licensing 3 16 core SQL servers?
 
2023-01-25 12:35:50 PM  

LordJiro: Capitalism is farking insanity. Tell someone that a company is making that much in profit, and they'd think that company is doing amazingly well. But because it isn't x% MORE profit than previously, it's 'bad'.

Infinite exponential growth is not possible, but capitalism demands it. When the limits are reached and the whole system predictably shiats the bed, they break out the shocked Pikachu faces and/or blame poor people for not spending money they don't have, then go running to the government to demand handouts so they don't actually have to feel the consequences of their stupidity and greed.


It's hilarious how your interpretation of TFA is an almost perfect opposite of what it says.

I just don't understand how people make it to adulthood not understanding simple concepts like the fact that current results will affect projections of future results.
 
2023-01-25 1:57:33 PM  

Gift Horses Mouth: $16.4b... Isn't that like licensing 3 16 core SQL servers?


//Oracle seen in the corner, furiously taking notes on "what the market will bear"
 
2023-01-25 2:37:39 PM  

max_pooper: Before he started selling, Bill Gates owned 2 billion shares of Microsoft. If he had kept it all he would have hit a net worth more than $650 billion. Not quite a trillion but insane none the less.


Thanks for the check on that one!

Yeah, $650B? Wow... That's just... that's just insane.
 
2023-01-25 3:21:01 PM  
Yep. I'm surprised that I still have a gig, TBH. In the distant past, Microsoft used to toss the dash-trash first, to retain employees, but that doesn't appear to be happening at least within Azure.
 
2023-01-25 9:21:22 PM  
Can layoffs ever just be that a surge has ended, efficiency peaked, and excess staff get removed?

Does it need to be a grand conspiracy of monocle wearing billionaires scheming against the common man?
 
2023-01-25 10:11:46 PM  

DeathByGeekSquad: Does it need to be a grand conspiracy of monocle wearing billionaires scheming against the common man?


On Fark?  Yes.  Always.
 
2023-01-26 12:29:30 PM  

BMFPitt: DeathByGeekSquad: Does it need to be a grand conspiracy of monocle wearing billionaires scheming against the common man?

On Fark?  Yes.  Always.


In that case, Fark has remained unchanged for decades, we demand improvements!!!111

QoL OVER PROFITS!

/i kid
 
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