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(The Daily Beast)   "Putin's Chef" Prigozhin will die after being hit point blank by a hellfire missile during a drone strike after being given a massive LSD overdose, jabbed with a polonium-tipped umbrella and pushed out a window   (thedailybeast.com) divider line
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    More: Obvious, Russia, Yevgeny Prigozhin, target of an assassination attempt, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov, Wagner Group, assassination attempts, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, murder of the Wagner boss  
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6148 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 25 Jan 2023 at 12:05 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Lambskincoat [TotalFark]
2023-01-24 6:28:32 PM  
He talks about getting assassinated like how I talk about getting fired. As unpleasant as getting fired is, I prefer it to high window defenestration, umbrella injection that looks like death from heart attack, or even the polonium tea.
 
enry [TotalFark]
2023-01-24 6:40:07 PM  
Protzebie!
 
Exile On Beale Street [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-24 7:52:41 PM  

Lambskincoat: He talks about getting assassinated like how I talk about getting fired. As unpleasant as getting fired is, I prefer it to high window defenestration, umbrella injection that looks like death from heart attack, or even the polonium tea.


"...and he MEANT it, man."
cdn3.whatculture.comView Full Size
 
coffeetime [TotalFark]
2023-01-24 7:56:32 PM  
I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-24 8:45:46 PM  
So even Prigozhin knows the war effort is doomed and is probably negotiating for a new identity that will allow him to retire quite comfortably with a new identity while some random cadaver takes his place as a dead man on the battlefield?
 
edmo [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-24 10:21:44 PM  
Do they mean "chef" as in German meaning "boss?"
 
somedude210 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-24 10:41:31 PM  
The rumor of his soon-to-be death means Putin is still mulling it over and hasn't decided to have him executed yet. Wonder if he wants to see if his chef can make a souffle out of mashed Russians first
 
Spice Must Flow [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 12:08:28 AM  

edmo: Do they mean "chef" as in German meaning "boss?"


It's french, like chef inspector Clouseau.
 
darkmythology
2023-01-25 12:09:52 AM  

somedude210: The rumor of his soon-to-be death means Putin is still mulling it over and hasn't decided to have him executed yet. Wonder if he wants to see if his chef can make a souffle out of mashed Russians first


Well, that would solve the food part of their supply problems...
 
Gyrfalcon
2023-01-25 12:09:56 AM  
There are worse ways to go.
 
mongbiohazard [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 12:15:39 AM  

coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.


The target's on the front side though (metaphorically speaking). When the round comes from the back - and it's intentional - that's back to being an assassination.
 
MrHormel [recently expired TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-25 12:17:47 AM  
Or drinking this 
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Gyrfalcon
2023-01-25 12:28:31 AM  

mongbiohazard: coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.

The target's on the front side though (metaphorically speaking). When the round comes from the back - and it's intentional - that's back to being an assassination.


What if it comes from the side?
 
mongbiohazard [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 12:33:03 AM  

Gyrfalcon: mongbiohazard: coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.

The target's on the front side though (metaphorically speaking). When the round comes from the back - and it's intentional - that's back to being an assassination.

What if it comes from the side?


What if it's the dreaded candiru?
 
proteus_b
2023-01-25 12:37:03 AM  

coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.


special military operation zone, you surely meant?
 
falkone32
2023-01-25 12:38:09 AM  
Prigozhin is getting a little big for himself. He's got a private army with growing experience, is taking credit for larger military successes while poo-pooing the military, and is making propaganda appearances to show the image of a front-line leader.
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 12:38:12 AM  
... on to a pile of exploding bullets.

Just finishing the headline, don't mind me.
 
dyhchong
2023-01-25 12:38:22 AM  
Putin can't be far away from rocking out this sign on an aircraft carrier:
assets.rbl.msView Full Size
 
wedelw
2023-01-25 12:38:49 AM  

MrHormel: Or drinking this [Fark user image 425x512]


Thanks for that.
I don't know if I'm impressed or depressed.
Sorta want.
Sorta repulsed.
 
Trik
2023-01-25 12:41:05 AM  
And there will be much celebrating
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 12:41:28 AM  

edmo: Do they mean "chef" as in German meaning "boss?"


th.bing.comView Full Size
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 12:42:29 AM  
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!
 
princhester
2023-01-25 12:46:58 AM  
Subtlety isn't really Putin's strong point, is it?
 
Gyrfalcon
2023-01-25 12:47:09 AM  
How fanatical are the Wagner Group? I mean, how badly would they take the assassination of their general?
 
Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 12:49:37 AM  

Gyrfalcon: How fanatical are the Wagner Group? I mean, how badly would they take the assassination of their general?


As long as they get paid, I'm sure they're fine with it.
 
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo
2023-01-25 12:55:18 AM  
One of the main reasons for the beef between Prigzy and Gerasimov is over cancelled catering contracts.  Seriously.
 
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo
2023-01-25 12:57:45 AM  

Gyrfalcon: How fanatical are the Wagner Group? I mean, how badly would they take the assassination of their general?


They're mercenaries, they'll do whatever the person paying them tells them.  The real ones to watch for are the Kadyrovites: they're Muslim nuts who have their current generals dad's picture on their flags.  Wagner is a professional organization, the Kadys are a cult.
 
untoldforce
2023-01-25 1:02:39 AM  

dyhchong: Putin can't be far away from rocking out this sign on an aircraft carrier:
[assets.rbl.ms image 850x478]


They only have one carrier (sort of, it's a cross between a carrier and a missile cruiser) and it's in dry dock after several major issues and fires.

I think it's been in dry dock for five years or so at this point.
 
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo
2023-01-25 1:06:44 AM  

untoldforce: dyhchong: Putin can't be far away from rocking out this sign on an aircraft carrier:
[assets.rbl.ms image 850x478]

They only have one carrier (sort of, it's a cross between a carrier and a missile cruiser) and it's in dry dock after several major issues and fires.

I think it's been in dry dock for five years or so at this point.


I think the dry dock sank and now it's just tied up to a regular dock.  They can't move it because it's too rusted out and would fall apart.
 
Irisclara
2023-01-25 1:17:05 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Nicholas D. Wolfwood [OhFark]
2023-01-25 1:18:56 AM  

enry: Protzebie!


Anyone here remember Donald Knuth?

A computer scientist back from the early days of computing, he is perhaps best known for the textbook series "The Art of Computer Programming".  He also created the TeX computer-typesetting system used for scientific and mathematical publishing, which I believe is still in use.

Among his lesser-known achievements was some writing he did for MAD Magazine, in particular "The Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures".

The-Potrzebie-system-of-weights-and-measures.pdf (webmadness.net)
 
Nicholas D. Wolfwood [OhFark]
2023-01-25 1:21:32 AM  

dyhchong: Putin can't be far away from rocking out this sign on an aircraft carrier:
[assets.rbl.ms image 850x478] [View Full Size image _x_]


Yeah, *right*!

WhereTheHell is *Putin* going to get an Aircraft Carrier?
 
whereisian
2023-01-25 1:38:11 AM  

mongbiohazard: Gyrfalcon: mongbiohazard: coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.

The target's on the front side though (metaphorically speaking). When the round comes from the back - and it's intentional - that's back to being an assassination.

What if it comes from the side?

What if it's the dreaded candiru?


I had to look that up, so now the group benefits.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru_(fish)

I'm pretty sure something useful spilled out of my brain to make room for that piece of trivia.
 
batlock666
2023-01-25 1:58:08 AM  

falkone32: Prigozhin is getting a little big for himself. He's got a private army with growing experience, is taking credit for larger military successes while poo-pooing the military, and is making propaganda appearances to show the image of a front-line leader.


Really?
 
batlock666
2023-01-25 2:02:25 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Gyrfalcon: How fanatical are the Wagner Group? I mean, how badly would they take the assassination of their general?

They're mercenaries, they'll do whatever the person paying them tells them.  The real ones to watch for are the Kadyrovites: they're Muslim nuts who have their current generals dad's picture on their flags.  Wagner is a professional organization, the Kadys are a cult.


Kadyrovites? The ones that sustained heavy losses, because they were more interested in making Tik Tok videos?
 
Neondistraction
2023-01-25 2:03:18 AM  

whereisian: mongbiohazard: Gyrfalcon: mongbiohazard: coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.

The target's on the front side though (metaphorically speaking). When the round comes from the back - and it's intentional - that's back to being an assassination.

What if it comes from the side?

What if it's the dreaded candiru?

I had to look that up, so now the group benefits.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru_(fish)

I'm pretty sure something useful spilled out of my brain to make room for that piece of trivia.


Just remember that while the fish is indeed real the whole thing about swimming up the urethra is a myth.
 
Neondistraction
2023-01-25 2:05:09 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Gyrfalcon: How fanatical are the Wagner Group? I mean, how badly would they take the assassination of their general?

They're mercenaries, they'll do whatever the person paying them tells them.  The real ones to watch for are the Kadyrovites: they're Muslim nuts who have their current generals dad's picture on their flags.  Wagner is a professional organization, the Kadys are a cult.


There's nothing worse than a monster who thinks he's right with god.
 
winedrinkingman
2023-01-25 2:10:17 AM  
Why would Ukraine kill Prigozhin?  He is one of their most effective generals.  The man's leadership has probably killed more Orcs than any other commander in this war.
 
Excelsior
2023-01-25 2:32:57 AM  
Seems like about as legitimate of a target as they get, during this illegitimate war.
 
leeksfromchichis [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 2:38:26 AM  

coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.


Assassinations can be legal military actions also.  It's still a targeted killing vs just random violence during battle.

If you get too pedantic, it's not a real "Assassination TM" if it wasn't conducted by the Order of Assassins, and they haven't existed officially since the Mongols wiped them out. Everything else is just sparkling murder.
 
leeksfromchichis [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 2:42:54 AM  

whereisian: mongbiohazard: Gyrfalcon: mongbiohazard: coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.

The target's on the front side though (metaphorically speaking). When the round comes from the back - and it's intentional - that's back to being an assassination.

What if it comes from the side?

What if it's the dreaded candiru?

I had to look that up, so now the group benefits.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru_(fish)

I'm pretty sure something useful spilled out of my brain to make room for that piece of trivia.


y.yarn.coView Full Size


Bit cold in Russia or Ukraine for it, but I guess heated aquariums are a thing...
 
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo
2023-01-25 3:01:11 AM  
You Are So Repressed | Metalocalypse | Adult Swim
Youtube yA-KWOd2dpg
 
PunGent
2023-01-25 3:56:57 AM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: enry: Protzebie!

Anyone here remember Donald Knuth?

A computer scientist back from the early days of computing, he is perhaps best known for the textbook series "The Art of Computer Programming".  He also created the TeX computer-typesetting system used for scientific and mathematical publishing, which I believe is still in use.

Among his lesser-known achievements was some writing he did for MAD Magazine, in particular "The Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures".

The-Potrzebie-system-of-weights-and-measures.pdf (webmadness.net)


I had no idea they were the same person...
 
trappedspirit
2023-01-25 3:57:27 AM  
The Kremlin claims Ukraine could be plotting to take out Yevgeny Prigozhin. But could Putin and co. be laying the groundwork for something themselves?

Stopped reading there.  Everything you need to know about anything is compressed into the first couple of sentences of a daily bestiality article.
 
PunGent
2023-01-25 3:58:09 AM  

leeksfromchichis: coffeetime: I don't think it's an assassination when he is an active combatant in a war zone.  Pretty sure that's called a target.

Assassinations can be legal military actions also.  It's still a targeted killing vs just random violence during battle.

If you get too pedantic, it's not a real "Assassination TM" if it wasn't conducted by the Order of Assassins, and they haven't existed officially since the Mongols wiped them out. Everything else is just sparkling murder.


They're still around.  They just used the Mongols to fake their own deaths.
 
nakmuay
2023-01-25 4:28:41 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Tyrone Slothrop
2023-01-25 4:33:12 AM  

enry: Protzebie!


madmagazine.comView Full Size
 
LarrySouth
2023-01-25 4:48:52 AM  

PunGent: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: enry: Protzebie!

Anyone here remember Donald Knuth?

A computer scientist back from the early days of computing, he is perhaps best known for the textbook series "The Art of Computer Programming".  He also created the TeX computer-typesetting system used for scientific and mathematical publishing, which I believe is still in use.

Among his lesser-known achievements was some writing he did for MAD Magazine, in particular "The Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures".

The-Potrzebie-system-of-weights-and-measures.pdf (webmadness.net)

I had no idea they were the same person...


Nor I...
 
Father_Jack [TotalFark]
2023-01-25 5:00:28 AM  
easiest way to do this would to be tell UA where he is next time he's near the front, and let the magic of HIMARS do the rest.

then RU can say he was just a battlefield casualty, he gets his martyrdom etc and everyone's happy. Well except for him of course since he's dead. but whatever.
 
princhester
2023-01-25 5:38:45 AM  

Father_Jack: easiest way to do this would to be tell UA where he is next time he's near the front, and let the magic of HIMARS do the rest.

then RU can say he was just a battlefield casualty, he gets his martyrdom etc and everyone's happy. Well except for him of course since he's dead. but whatever.


If Putin decides to kill Prigozhin, Putin will want people to know he ordered it.  Putin wants those around him to know they live or die at his will.  That's why his assassinations are so obvious, with only the tiniest figleaf of plausible deniability.
 
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