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(Herald Journal News)   Police are at a loss to explain why teens have apparently been randomly chopping down trees in people's yards, and hypothesize it must be one of those social-media challenges   (hjnews.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Discrimination, Core issues in ethics, uninvited tree-choppings, residential properties, Nazi Germany, Racism, southern part of the valley, Personality psychology  
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2423 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2023 at 6:50 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



83 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2023-01-24 6:20:22 PM  
I told that birch it better have my money.
 
2023-01-24 6:42:15 PM  
I remember being 16.
I planted hundreds of thousands of trees for conservation projects

fark these dicks
 
2023-01-24 6:54:48 PM  
do they have any idea what they could charge people to do it to trees they want gone ?

tree work costs a fortune around here
 
2023-01-24 6:55:16 PM  
Firewood?
 
2023-01-24 6:56:01 PM  
I'll wager that it's some neighborhood Karen. "Must be one a those TikTok kids" is a convenient scapegoat.
 
2023-01-24 6:57:32 PM  
Hopefully they'll take a trip to my house.  It would save me some money.
 
TWX
2023-01-24 6:57:49 PM  
Theft and Shrubbery?

/obscure?
 
2023-01-24 6:58:16 PM  
Wood?
Cut that out.
 
2023-01-24 6:58:19 PM  

kindms: do they have any idea what they could charge people to do it to trees they want gone ?

tree work costs a fortune around here


Would you hire a bunch of kids to cut down at tree at your house? There is a reason why tree work is expensive. Its a dangerous job that requires skilled labor and proper insurance.
 
2023-01-24 6:58:38 PM  

TWX: Theft and Shrubbery?

/obscure?


Ni.
 
2023-01-24 6:58:52 PM  
Treelaw states that some mature trees will cot you a million if you illegally chop it down.  Kind hope they catch the vandals, for the example.

You KNOW someone filmed it.
 
TWX
2023-01-24 6:58:54 PM  

WelldeadLink: TWX: Theft and Shrubbery?

/obscure?

Ni.


Nope.
 
2023-01-24 6:59:59 PM  
My money is on: Initiation ritual for the George Washington Fan Club. The next step is to not lie about doing it.

They should limit the targeted trees to cherry, but waddia gonnadoo?
 
2023-01-24 7:01:07 PM  
They were Bradford pear trees.

They self-destructed.
 
2023-01-24 7:01:41 PM  

TWX: WelldeadLink: TWX: Theft and Shrubbery?

/obscure?

Ni.

Nope.


Would I lie to you?
 
2023-01-24 7:02:14 PM  
In my day, we were choppin' broccoli...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 7:04:29 PM  

kindms: do they have any idea what they could charge people to do it to trees they want gone ?

tree work costs a fortune around here


I smartied you because I used to do "tree work". Anybody remotely competent you hire knows it's bloody dangerous, takes a lot of planning, AND proper gear (mucho $) to do it right. Or you can become an internet meme, and not the recycled cool one from a few days ago here on Fark.
 
2023-01-24 7:05:22 PM  
It's all fun and games until an overzealous home/gun owner pops you in the chest. Americans love their property.
 
2023-01-24 7:05:35 PM  

max_pooper: kindms: do they have any idea what they could charge people to do it to trees they want gone ?

tree work costs a fortune around here

Would you hire a bunch of kids to cut down at tree at your house? There is a reason why tree work is expensive. Its a dangerous job that requires skilled labor and proper insurance.


most tree crews ive ever seen are usually a bunch of guys who made questionable life decisions and one guy with his shyte together,

so a 16 year old on a tree crew wouldnt necessarily be out of bounds

would i hire them ? not if there wasnt an adult or something in the crew
 
2023-01-24 7:05:53 PM  

TWX: Theft and Shrubbery?

/obscure?


In some of parts it would be Theft and Sodomy if the perps were caught.
 
2023-01-24 7:08:07 PM  
drink 1 tree in 60 seconds?
 
2023-01-24 7:08:46 PM  
What some kids will do to become president... <shakes head>
 
2023-01-24 7:10:49 PM  
I would absolutely go batsh*t if some punk cut down one of my trees.
This sh*t is not ok.
 
2023-01-24 7:11:03 PM  
I blame Saruman
 
2023-01-24 7:11:10 PM  

Somaticasual: What some kids will do to become president... <shakes head>


You ain't lyin!
 
2023-01-24 7:11:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 7:13:55 PM  

kindms: max_pooper: kindms: do they have any idea what they could charge people to do it to trees they want gone ?

tree work costs a fortune around here

Would you hire a bunch of kids to cut down at tree at your house? There is a reason why tree work is expensive. Its a dangerous job that requires skilled labor and proper insurance.

most tree crews ive ever seen are usually a bunch of guys who made questionable life decisions and one guy with his shyte together,

so a 16 year old on a tree crew wouldnt necessarily be out of bounds

would i hire them ? not if there wasnt an adult or something in the crew


The folks who helped us manage our silver maple's end of life fit this description exactly. They made our dog a rope toy on the spot and we were blown away by their skill as they took our beast of a tree down.

We didn't judge. They were amazing.
 
2023-01-24 7:14:05 PM  

educated: I would absolutely go batsh*t if some punk cut down one of my trees.
This sh*t is not ok.


It's not elm or maple, either. I don't know what they're doing it fir, but you can probably cedar videos online.
 
2023-01-24 7:16:43 PM  
Damn kids.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 7:17:06 PM  
As long as they tell the truth about it later, it is considered heroically American.
 
2023-01-24 7:17:22 PM  

Gentlequiet: They were Bradford pear trees.

They self-destructed.


I have no idea why people keep planting them. They have a life expectancy of 25 years but rarely make it past 20.
 
2023-01-24 7:17:38 PM  
Betting on some crazy ass Mormon kids who have been denied adequate access to sex and drugs.
 
2023-01-24 7:18:24 PM  

monkeyboycjc: kindms: do they have any idea what they could charge people to do it to trees they want gone ?

tree work costs a fortune around here

I smartied you because I used to do "tree work". Anybody remotely competent you hire knows it's bloody dangerous, takes a lot of planning, AND proper gear (mucho $) to do it right. Or you can become an internet meme, and not the recycled cool one from a few days ago here on Fark.


They're not chopping down giant maples, that would be too much work. Probably some little decorative trees with a 4" trunk.

TFA is blocked so I'm assuming.
 
2023-01-24 7:18:44 PM  
Most kids get over the urge to do this in the middle of the woods by the time they're in 5th grade. Unfortunately these kids weren't allowed to play in the woods or even unsupervised and you get teens doing stupid shiat like this.
 
2023-01-24 7:19:55 PM  

ZMugg: My money is on: Initiation ritual for the George Washington Fan Club. The next step is to not lie about doing it.

They should limit the targeted trees to cherry, but waddia gonnadoo?


Somaticasual: What some kids will do to become president... <shakes head>


The cherry tree was a genteelism for having impregnated slaves.
 
2023-01-24 7:22:10 PM  

WickerNipple: I told that birch it better have my money.


Annnnddd we're done here.

/can't top that
//thread's over folks, go home
 
2023-01-24 7:23:44 PM  
I cannot tell a lie!

I don't know.
 
TWX
2023-01-24 7:24:44 PM  

ZMugg: TWX: WelldeadLink: TWX: Theft and Shrubbery?

/obscure?

Ni.

Nope.

Would I lie to you?


Mmmhmm.

One of the incredible tales of Bob Mortimer.
 
2023-01-24 7:26:25 PM  
"Gimme an article on trees or something. And do lots of puns. Have it to me by 4pm."
 
2023-01-24 7:26:58 PM  
First rule of Arbor Club: You do not talk about Arbor Club.
 
2023-01-24 7:30:16 PM  
Yeah, I chopped a lot of wood as a teen. Never outside though.
 
2023-01-24 7:33:41 PM  

WelldeadLink: Wood?
Cut that out.


Harelip!! Harelip!!
 
2023-01-24 7:39:41 PM  

buravirgil: ZMugg: My money is on: Initiation ritual for the George Washington Fan Club. The next step is to not lie about doing it.

They should limit the targeted trees to cherry, but waddia gonnadoo?

Somaticasual: What some kids will do to become president... <shakes head>

The cherry tree was a genteelism for having impregnated slaves.


Man that story went on for generations but the first time I heard it, the only question in my mind was why would he cut down a cherry tree? Cherries were probably one of the few really good things you had to snack on back then. Dumb story, but people still buy it.
 
2023-01-24 7:42:03 PM  
Damn Madison Cawthorn copycats
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 7:46:44 PM  

nolanvoid1: Yeah, I chopped a lot of wood as a teen. Never outside though.


Sounds like you were really missing out!

Great way to meet the neighbors.
 
2023-01-24 7:51:49 PM  
Behind a paywall? For shame.
 
2023-01-24 7:52:44 PM  

max_pooper: kindms: do they have any idea what they could charge people to do it to trees they want gone ?

tree work costs a fortune around here

Would you hire a bunch of kids to cut down at tree at your house? There is a reason why tree work is expensive. Its a dangerous job that requires skilled labor and proper insurance.


Well, yes. That's why you hire kids. They're expendable.
 
2023-01-24 7:54:26 PM  

Gentlequiet: They were Bradford pear trees.

They self-destructed.


Lots of those in my neighborhood.  One neighbor would have them trimmed ala "crepe murder" and they were solid af and never had any problems other than his wife wanted them gone when they got too big.  I grabbed some of the wood - it's destined to become guitar necks, it's wonderful.

Another neighbor just trims his a little now and again.  Most of his trees are good but a couple split.

Then there's the neighbor that never trims his trees and adds another cargo strap every couple years.
 
2023-01-24 7:54:35 PM  
Again...I'll ask the same question I did in another thread about this sort of comment...

WHY are police or other public officials holding press conferences and editorializing on cases??

Just do your damn job, and do it correctly..You're not being paid to entertain the public, or write editorials..
If you want to aggrandize yourself, go do something else that's not on the public dime..

Using your position in public sector jobs to make a name for yourself in the newspapers or TV and using
your record of doing your job to climb  the political ladder (I'm looking at you Public Prosecutors!!)  should NOT be a thing.. Climbing on the backs of other peoples misfortunes to make yourself look good is not
only sick, it should be illegal or at the very least,(And against the Bar Association rules specifically) to do.
 
2023-01-24 7:56:31 PM  
Maybe they are following the gospel of woodcutter from devil on a blue dress.
 
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