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(Daily Mail)   ♫If you go barefoot in the tall grass today/ You're sure of a big surprise♫   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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3113 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2023 at 7:30 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2023-01-24 6:32:25 PM  
A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.
 
2023-01-24 7:33:31 PM  
TFA: 'Not too bad though, I got a free helicopter sight-seeing tour of Fraser Island,' Ben said.

Now I want to bite him
 
2023-01-24 7:33:51 PM  
Aussies say the life-threatening bite could have been avoided if he followed one simple rule

1) Don't go to Australia.
 
2023-01-24 7:36:31 PM  

vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.


You dont own a flat blade shovel?
 
2023-01-24 7:37:39 PM  
Bill Withers - Grandma's Hands (Official Audio)
Youtube TdrChyGb574
 
2023-01-24 7:38:31 PM  
Never leave the toilet seat up?
 
2023-01-24 7:39:06 PM  
British trying to steal the American dumbass tourist schtick.
 
2023-01-24 7:39:50 PM  
Going through the bush anywhere out in the wild is a dumbass move, Darwin fail
 
2023-01-24 7:39:58 PM  
I'll be honest, snakes scare the piss outta me.
 
2023-01-24 7:42:42 PM  
Darwin swings...and misses.
 
2023-01-24 7:43:23 PM  
Is Dingoes and Crabs, some sort of Aussie slang like Netflix and Chill?
 
2023-01-24 7:46:16 PM  
He who made kittens, put snakes in the grass...
 
2023-01-24 7:49:21 PM  

vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.


Friend of mine was trying to get a copperhead out of the rocks around his firepit. Got struck by one fang on his thumb.

Had a rather severe reaction, and needed a wrist-to-elbow fasciotomy to relieve pressure from the swelling. He made sure to share pictures of the open wound. Healed with just a faint scar.

He doesn't poke around rocks anymore.
 
2023-01-24 7:51:01 PM  
lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size


If he had talked to Oak first then he could have battled and captured that Ekans.
 
2023-01-24 7:53:54 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: Aussies say the life-threatening bite could have been avoided if he followed one simple rule

1) Don't go to Australia.


... you might accidentally get killed.

with fear your pants will be filled
 
2023-01-24 7:53:58 PM  

indy_kid: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

Friend of mine was trying to get a copperhead out of the rocks around his firepit. Got struck by one fang on his thumb.

Had a rather severe reaction, and needed a wrist-to-elbow fasciotomy to relieve pressure from the swelling. He made sure to share pictures of the open wound. Healed with just a faint scar.

He doesn't poke around rocks anymore.


Always use tools to attempt to move hazardous snakes

/a .410 will move 'em pretty good - quite possibly to multiple locations
 
2023-01-24 7:57:52 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 8:01:25 PM  
I hope he gets a nice big bill for the helicopter ride!
 
2023-01-24 8:01:45 PM  

indy_kid: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

Friend of mine was trying to get a copperhead out of the rocks around his firepit. Got struck by one fang on his thumb.

Had a rather severe reaction, and needed a wrist-to-elbow fasciotomy to relieve pressure from the swelling. He made sure to share pictures of the open wound. Healed with just a faint scar.

He doesn't poke around rocks anymore.


You better stay away from Copperhead Rock

DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH!
 
2023-01-24 8:04:48 PM  

vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.


When I was a kid it was my dad's job to de-head all such snakes on sight.
 
2023-01-24 8:06:41 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: indy_kid: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

Friend of mine was trying to get a copperhead out of the rocks around his firepit. Got struck by one fang on his thumb.

Had a rather severe reaction, and needed a wrist-to-elbow fasciotomy to relieve pressure from the swelling. He made sure to share pictures of the open wound. Healed with just a faint scar.

He doesn't poke around rocks anymore.

Always use tools to attempt to move hazardous snakes

/a .410 will move 'em pretty good - quite possibly to multiple locations


I had a double barrel 410 the I used both barrels at the same time on a coil of moccasins, probable 4 of them. There were quite a few more pieces afterwards.
 
2023-01-24 8:08:41 PM  
The snake had one simple rule.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 8:19:54 PM  

fmcgalaxie500: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: indy_kid: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

Friend of mine was trying to get a copperhead out of the rocks around his firepit. Got struck by one fang on his thumb.

Had a rather severe reaction, and needed a wrist-to-elbow fasciotomy to relieve pressure from the swelling. He made sure to share pictures of the open wound. Healed with just a faint scar.

He doesn't poke around rocks anymore.

Always use tools to attempt to move hazardous snakes

/a .410 will move 'em pretty good - quite possibly to multiple locations

I had a double barrel 410 the I used both barrels at the same time on a coil of moccasins, probable 4 of them. There were quite a few more pieces afterwards.


I can top that without even consciously trying. I mowed a state park a while infested with timber rattlesnakes and their favorite dinner, bunny rabbits. Well, you get and stoned for that work, and tune out with a massive walk behind gravely self propelled mower, headphones on, cant hear a thing. SHACLACKY. Look down, there is gore everywhere. My feet are still present so I inspect. Rattlesnake chopped up like a sushi roll. I assemble it's mangled bits on the road. Maybe 4 feet long. A dozen chunks at least. But the head was missing. Those things still can bite, and I have to make another pass at some point. I start to worry, and every shrub and bush brushing against my leg has me jumping like his snake buddies are out to get revenge. Then the boss comes by and tells at me for killing it because 'endangered' or something. I'm like... dude. If it knew it was in danger it should have farked off at the sound of the mower.
 
2023-01-24 8:23:39 PM  
If you go out in the bush today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go out in the bush today
You'd better go in disguise!For every snake that ever there was will gather there for certain
Because today's the day the Snakey snakes have their picnic
 
2023-01-24 8:25:10 PM  

vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.


I used to live right next to a river in Virginia and the cottonmouths had a nasty habit of hanging out everywhere you'd naturally want to step if you were walking along a riverbank. They are mean, spiteful animals. Thankfully, they don't seem to bite nearly as often as people think, the worst we ever got was that gaping mouth display they use as a warning.

My ex-wife was terrified of snakes, so occasionally I'd come home and she would announce "killed another cottonmouth today" and it would inevitably be a northern watersnake, a garter snake, ratsnake, or some other harmless species of snake. Seriously, the woman was a snake-killing machine, but I don't think she ever killed an actual cottonmouth.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 8:25:31 PM  
Barefoot?  I guess British tourists don't expect things like goatheads, cacti, and scorpions.
 
2023-01-24 8:27:13 PM  

Subtonic: Then the boss comes by and tells at me for killing it because 'endangered' or something. I'm like... dude. If it knew it was in danger it should have farked off at the sound of the mower.


Feel free to come out to California with the mower.  Aren't any endangered rattlesnakes out here, 'cause we got plenty and then some.  Massacre away, none of the species are protected

/they really are not on the list because the populations are extensive, not because of dumb decisions by the state or something
 
2023-01-24 8:28:23 PM  

Lsherm: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

I used to live right next to a river in Virginia and the cottonmouths had a nasty habit of hanging out everywhere you'd naturally want to step if you were walking along a riverbank. They are mean, spiteful animals. Thankfully, they don't seem to bite nearly as often as people think, the worst we ever got was that gaping mouth display they use as a warning.

My ex-wife was terrified of snakes, so occasionally I'd come home and she would announce "killed another cottonmouth today" and it would inevitably be a northern watersnake, a garter snake, ratsnake, or some other harmless species of snake. Seriously, the woman was a snake-killing machine, but I don't think she ever killed an actual cottonmouth.

[Fark user image 850x1275]


The top image needs to be labeled "M16"
 
2023-01-24 8:34:02 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Lsherm: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

I used to live right next to a river in Virginia and the cottonmouths had a nasty habit of hanging out everywhere you'd naturally want to step if you were walking along a riverbank. They are mean, spiteful animals. Thankfully, they don't seem to bite nearly as often as people think, the worst we ever got was that gaping mouth display they use as a warning.

My ex-wife was terrified of snakes, so occasionally I'd come home and she would announce "killed another cottonmouth today" and it would inevitably be a northern watersnake, a garter snake, ratsnake, or some other harmless species of snake. Seriously, the woman was a snake-killing machine, but I don't think she ever killed an actual cottonmouth.

[Fark user image 850x1275]

The top image needs to be labeled "M16"


She's my ex-wife, not a journalist. But I agree, that's funnier:

Fark user imageView Full Size


I went with AR-15 out of respect for the original guy who did the gun guide, because that's what he used.
 
2023-01-24 8:34:40 PM  

Lsherm: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

I used to live right next to a river in Virginia and the cottonmouths had a nasty habit of hanging out everywhere you'd naturally want to step if you were walking along a riverbank. They are mean, spiteful animals. Thankfully, they don't seem to bite nearly as often as people think, the worst we ever got was that gaping mouth display they use as a warning.

My ex-wife was terrified of snakes, so occasionally I'd come home and she would announce "killed another cottonmouth today" and it would inevitably be a northern watersnake, a garter snake, ratsnake, or some other harmless species of snake. Seriously, the woman was a snake-killing machine, but I don't think she ever killed an actual cottonmouth.

[Fark user image image 850x1275]


Heh. I used to be warned of them the same way when I was a kid in South Carolina. We still caught as many reptiles as we could anyways, including a massive snapping turtle with a garbage can. We showed it off but the adults were all 'go dump it in the ditch right now'. You wouldn't believe the size of the bullfrogs.
 
2023-01-24 8:37:08 PM  

HighlanderRPI: Is Dingoes and Crabs, some sort of Aussie slang like Netflix and Chill?


Well yeah, with ugly women who have crabs
 
2023-01-24 8:42:59 PM  

SBinRR: British trying to steal the American dumbass tourist schtick.


Idiot Poms are an article of faith among Aussies.  That schtick belonged to the British long before the average dumbass American figured out where Australia is.

/at least the Yanks don't whinge as much
 
2023-01-24 8:45:23 PM  
Thaaaaat shiat is dingo.
 
2023-01-24 8:48:46 PM  
If only he had kept a mongoose around
 
2023-01-24 8:55:52 PM  

Lsherm: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Lsherm: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

I used to live right next to a river in Virginia and the cottonmouths had a nasty habit of hanging out everywhere you'd naturally want to step if you were walking along a riverbank. They are mean, spiteful animals. Thankfully, they don't seem to bite nearly as often as people think, the worst we ever got was that gaping mouth display they use as a warning.

My ex-wife was terrified of snakes, so occasionally I'd come home and she would announce "killed another cottonmouth today" and it would inevitably be a northern watersnake, a garter snake, ratsnake, or some other harmless species of snake. Seriously, the woman was a snake-killing machine, but I don't think she ever killed an actual cottonmouth.

[Fark user image 850x1275]

The top image needs to be labeled "M16"

She's my ex-wife, not a journalist. But I agree, that's funnier:

[Fark user image 850x1275]

I went with AR-15 out of respect for the original guy who did the gun guide, because that's what he used.


Snake A47:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-24 8:59:15 PM  

vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.


That reminds me of a time I saw a huge caterpillar (5 or 6 inches long) chomping away at some plant in the backyard when I was a young teen.  I relocated it to the patio and a few minutes later I was back inside and saw a bird swoop down and grab it.

It wasn't a snake and it wasn't a hawk, but that was cool although I felt a little bad wondering what kind of butterfly it might have turned into.  We had a few copperheads and hognose snakes too, but the only interesting thing was when the hognose played dead. It didn't fool me, but they're not poisonous.
 
2023-01-24 9:22:41 PM  

My Sober Alt: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

That reminds me of a time I saw a huge caterpillar (5 or 6 inches long) chomping away at some plant in the backyard when I was a young teen.  I relocated it to the patio and a few minutes later I was back inside and saw a bird swoop down and grab it.

It wasn't a snake and it wasn't a hawk, but that was cool although I felt a little bad wondering what kind of butterfly it might have turned into.  We had a few copperheads and hognose snakes too, but the only interesting thing was when the hognose played dead. It didn't fool me, but they're not poisonous.


Hognoses can be so friggin dramatic with that shiat, they are hilarious. I swear, if they had hands, they'd throw one up against their forehead in the swoon gesture while shouting, "Lo, I have been slain!"
 
2023-01-24 9:25:54 PM  
I may have been bitten by one of the most poisonous snakes in the world. Time to make a Tik Tok.
 
2023-01-24 9:47:27 PM  
Good old Daily Fail: Trying to make OUTRAGE out of any old story.
 
2023-01-24 10:30:51 PM  

Lsherm: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

I used to live right next to a river in Virginia and the cottonmouths had a nasty habit of hanging out everywhere you'd naturally want to step if you were walking along a riverbank. They are mean, spiteful animals. Thankfully, they don't seem to bite nearly as often as people think, the worst we ever got was that gaping mouth display they use as a warning.

My ex-wife was terrified of snakes, so occasionally I'd come home and she would announce "killed another cottonmouth today" and it would inevitably be a northern watersnake, a garter snake, ratsnake, or some other harmless species of snake. Seriously, the woman was a snake-killing machine, but I don't think she ever killed an actual cottonmouth.

[Fark user image image 850x1275]


Did she murder trouser snakes?
 
2023-01-24 10:48:19 PM  

knbwhite: Did she murder trouser snakes?


Christ, you came out of hiding to make THAT joke?
 
2023-01-25 12:50:57 AM  
I'm surprised he wasn't strangled by paramedics given his vacation destination.
 
2023-01-25 2:15:32 AM  

Lsherm: knbwhite: Did she murder trouser snakes?

Christ, you came out of hiding to make THAT joke?


It was supposed to be a softball. A lot of folks blast their exes here.
 
2023-01-25 7:20:00 AM  
Walking through the high dry grass...

King of The Mountain (2011 Remaster)
Youtube YPYBoKb9YfA
 
2023-01-25 11:19:43 AM  

Subtonic: vudukungfu: A small copperhead somhow came out of the hiding today. It was in the bags of mulch staying warm, but for whatever reason was out and coiled by the garage door. I picked it up and tossed it way WAY out in the yard it is too cold for it to move back and some hawk might spot it and grab a quick bite. I have copperheads and rattlers all over. What with the rocks. I'm always moving rocks.

You dont own a flat blade shovel?


There was one right there.
He was cold
 
2023-01-25 2:59:15 PM  
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2023-01-25 3:19:26 PM  
genner:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Beefy men with sticks going out into the tall grass and wailing on a L2 Rattata.
 
2023-01-26 6:42:45 AM  
I normally try to re-locate, this was an early morning and didn't have the time.  You can't leave a Diamond Back rattle snake alive at your door step, they will build a den and multiply.

Yes they still move for up to an hour after you cut their heads off.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2023-01-26 6:46:42 AM  

dyhchong: genner:
[Fark user image 225x225]


Do like the Los Angeles cops and do it while on duty.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/12/us/los-angeles-officers-fired-playing-pokemon-go-trnd/index.html
 
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