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(Popular Science)   Someone actually used the words "best", "non-alcoholic", and "drinks" in the same headline in a positive way. I can't even   (popsci.com) divider line
39
    More: Fail, Alcoholic beverage, Citrus, Coffee, Alcohol by volume, Alcoholism, Drink, Non-alcoholic beverages, best non-alcoholic drinks  
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417 clicks; posted to Food » on 07 Jan 2023 at 1:13 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
syrynxx [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 9:37:08 AM  
Not into sugary alternatives. Kinda curious about Guinness Zero.
 
Racingtown [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 11:37:38 AM  

syrynxx: Not into sugary alternatives. Kinda curious about Guinness Zero.


Guinness zero is good.  Very close to the original, just minus the alcohol bite.

The athletic IPAs are also good.  Better than most low alcohol versions out there.
 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 12:00:46 PM  
Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.
 
DoctorCal [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 12:03:30 PM  
I think I'll put a padlock on my pants and watch some porn.
 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 12:42:46 PM  
There are days when you want a drink, but you don't want a drink.
 
Breaker Moran [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 1:00:17 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.


As a drunk who doesn't drink anymore, I find non-alcoholic and low alcohol beverages as repulsive as I once thought them to be absolutely pointless.  Éviter les ersatz partout, I say.
 
ThomasPaineTrain [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 1:14:36 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.


Speaking from my own experience in recovery, I would definitely ask them instead of just springing it on them to see what their preference is. Even just the smell can trigger some nasty reflexes, memories, or thoughts in a recovering alcoholic, much less the taste.

People have offered to get me N/A beer many times, and I flat out refuse. Every bad memory I have of drinking overshadows any good memory of drinking by orders and orders of magnitude. I'm done with the stuff. That being said, I can be around booze and smell it just fine, but that's me personally. The only person who can speak for your friend in regards to their comfort level is your friend.

Don't get me wrong, it's great that you want to be thoughtful for your friend, but this disease is a mental monster that behaves differently in each alcoholic's head. Prudence and caution are us drunks' good friends.
 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 1:33:03 PM  

Breaker Moran: Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.

As a drunk who doesn't drink anymore, I find non-alcoholic and low alcohol beverages as repulsive as I once thought them to be absolutely pointless.  Éviter les ersatz partout, I say.


ThomasPaineTrain: Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.

Speaking from my own experience in recovery, I would definitely ask them instead of just springing it on them to see what their preference is. Even just the smell can trigger some nasty reflexes, memories, or thoughts in a recovering alcoholic, much less the taste.

People have offered to get me N/A beer many times, and I flat out refuse. Every bad memory I have of drinking overshadows any good memory of drinking by orders and orders of magnitude. I'm done with the stuff. That being said, I can be around booze and smell it just fine, but that's me personally. The only person who can speak for your friend in regards to their comfort level is your friend.

Don't get me wrong, it's great that you want to be thoughtful for your friend, but this disease is a mental monster that behaves differently in each alcoholic's head. Prudence and caution are us drunks' good friends.


Noted.  Thanks.
 
baka-san [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 1:41:31 PM  
Or, ya know, sparkling water and some types os fruit juice
Tasty without pretending to be something else
 
mcmnky
2023-01-07 1:57:25 PM  
The best non-alcoholic drink is Dr Pepper.
 
ThomasPaineTrain [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 2:03:11 PM  

mcmnky: The best non-alcoholic drink is Dr Pepper.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Count_Crackula
2023-01-07 2:08:19 PM  
The author seems more insufferable than the perpetually drunk bastard at your local dive bar.
 
Count_Crackula
2023-01-07 2:16:22 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.


The best non-alc stuff out there are the ones that don't try and claim to mimic a spirit. A bottle calling themselves non-alc gin will be disappointing because it doesn't have the same weight and mouth feel as real gin. The ones that don't do this are lke a new category altogether.

As far as brands go, check out Wilderton and Seedlip, particularly Seedlip Garden. They're lighter, botanical expressions. The Pathfinder is also excellent, and they're root and hemp-based, so the flavor will be on the butter, funky side.
 
ZMugg [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 2:26:29 PM  

mcmnky: The best non-alcoholic drink is Dr Pepper.


th.bing.comView Full Size

Fizzy Robitussin.
Yum!

baka-san: Or, ya know, sparkling water and some types os fruit juice
Tasty without pretending to be something else


Or... plain water.

May not apply to Michigan.
 
Bukharin
2023-01-07 2:33:29 PM  
I havent had Moxie in decades.
 
Count_Crackula
2023-01-07 2:56:15 PM  

Count_Crackula: Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.

The best non-alc stuff out there are the ones that don't try and claim to mimic a spirit. A bottle calling themselves non-alc gin will be disappointing because it doesn't have the same weight and mouth feel as real gin. The ones that don't do this are lke a new category altogether.

As far as brands go, check out Wilderton and Seedlip, particularly Seedlip Garden. They're lighter, botanical expressions. The Pathfinder is also excellent, and they're root and hemp-based, so the flavor will be on the butter, funky side.


Bitter, not butter. Curse my fat fingers.
 
bigbadideasinaction
2023-01-07 3:41:46 PM  
99 times out of a hundred you can do better with a quality packaged beverage and some additional flavor over anything intended to be an alcohol substitute. This stuff is just an ad.

The best part is most of the time people are making "cocktails" that are glorified mixed drinks where the alcohol flavor is mostly lost anyway. Add a flavoring agent to your pop and get it over with.

Combine:
1) Cinnamon simple syrup, vanilla simple syrup, a ginger simple, cardamom, allspice, honey syrup, etc.
2) A bit of lemon or lime juice, maybe unsweetened pineapple juice
3) A drink that isn't super sweet, like a ginger beer, chinotto, a bitter tonic etc.

Call it something fancy. There, a better mocktail.

If you're willing to have theoretically non-zero but microscopic abv, pick up flavors of bitters and add a dash or two to compliment.

Like:
Honey syrup (3:1 mix of honey:water for pourability), 3/4 oz lemon juice, ginger beer.

3/4 oz cola syrup, 3/4 oz lime juice, allspice syrup depending on your taste/sweetness of the cola syrup, shake, top with club soda and mix slightly

Tomato juice, 3/4 oz lime, homemade rosemary-basil syrup, Worcestershire and hot sauce, shake and serve over ice.
 
turbocucumber [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 4:44:48 PM  
Glass of fresh, clean, spring water.
 
Ker_Thwap [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 4:54:56 PM  
Not everything is marketed to/designed for only you.  Weird how that works.
 
leeksfromchichis [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 5:18:45 PM  
Racingtown:

Guinness zero is good.  |  Very close to the original.


Which is it?
 
Excelsior [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 6:01:45 PM  

Breaker Moran: Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.

As a drunk who doesn't drink anymore, I find non-alcoholic and low alcohol beverages as repulsive as I once thought them to be absolutely pointless.  Éviter les ersatz partout, I say.


FWIW: Very few alcoholics overdrink because liked the taste/flavor so much.

If anything, giving a recovering alcoholic alcohol-free versions of alcoholic drinks will do far more harm than good, and I'd expect him to be much happier with a pop/soda or even water than something masquerading as the booze which may well have ruined their life/relationship/whatever.
 
Turbo Cojones
2023-01-07 6:17:58 PM  
RIP Coke with lime
 
MDI_BugMan
2023-01-07 7:13:33 PM  
I've got a Sodastream, and a whole bunch of different sugar-free drink mixes.  Wyler's Cherry makes an awesome soda, as does Sonic Cherry Limeade.  I'm also a big fan of all the Hawaiian Punch and Sunkist flavours.  There's a bunch of Jolly Rancher ones, and if you like watermelon Jolly Rancher candy, the drink mix makes the most amazing soda.
 
jlee4677 [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 7:29:33 PM  
Personally I find non alcoholic beer as worthless as decaffeinated coffee, what's the point?
 
abhorrent1
2023-01-07 8:01:20 PM  
I drink non-alcoholic twisted tea. It's called Iced Tea.
 
talkyournonsense
2023-01-07 8:25:47 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.


Honestly a lot of people in recovery don't want the zero alcohol stuff because it could lead to a relapse. Best bet, buy some fancy sodas or sparkling juices, they'll probably be happier.
 
anuran
2023-01-07 10:16:32 PM  
There are plenty of good non alcoholic beverages that aren't fizzy sugar water. Hops water. Bitters and soda. Kava. A whole ocean of Temperance and Prohibition drinks. Barley water. Switchel. Teas. Tisanes. Yerba Maté. Aztec style chocolate. Juices. Yaupon. Cannabis drinks for those so inclined. I could go on for a long time.

Subby being an ignorant drunk is no reason for anyone else to do the same
 
anuran
2023-01-07 10:18:50 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.


Yeah. They aren't great
 
talkyournonsense
2023-01-07 10:53:54 PM  

anuran: There are plenty of good non alcoholic beverages that aren't fizzy sugar water. Hops water. Bitters and soda. Kava. A whole ocean of Temperance and Prohibition drinks. Barley water. Switchel. Teas. Tisanes. Yerba Maté. Aztec style chocolate. Juices. Yaupon. Cannabis drinks for those so inclined. I could go on for a long time.

Subby being an ignorant drunk is no reason for anyone else to do the same


Bitters are minimum 40% alcohol
 
tintar [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 11:46:06 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Has anyone tried the zero-alcohol "spirits" out there?  I mean, it seems a f*cking premium to pay for bourbon flavor, but I do have a friend who's in recovery and was thinking I could have some on hand for her at the next get-together.


as an inveterate (lapsed) alcoholic, personally I'd probably really hate that?

things I love (not even in place of alcohol, I just simply love these)
chilled switchel or shrub
ginger-water
citrus-water
ginger beer or fizzy lemonade (home lacto fermented using active whey and minimal sugar. make sure not to allow hardening)
chilled plain seltzer over ice, with ~1/5 fruit juice or lemonade
1/2 hibiscus infusion + 1/2 rose hips infusion, over ice*
sparkling ice brand stevia drinks over ice, cut with small amount water or seltzer

*seriously, a nice 1gal pitcher that fits in their fridge, plus 2 1lb bags of Davidson's infusions, might make for a successful gift...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
anuran
2023-01-07 11:52:49 PM  

talkyournonsense: anuran: There are plenty of good non alcoholic beverages that aren't fizzy sugar water. Hops water. Bitters and soda. Kava. A whole ocean of Temperance and Prohibition drinks. Barley water. Switchel. Teas. Tisanes. Yerba Maté. Aztec style chocolate. Juices. Yaupon. Cannabis drinks for those so inclined. I could go on for a long time.

Subby being an ignorant drunk is no reason for anyone else to do the same

Bitters are minimum 40% alcohol


Not all brands. Dram's brand is glycerin based
 
tintar [TotalFark]
2023-01-07 11:57:13 PM  

anuran: There are plenty of good non alcoholic beverages that aren't fizzy sugar water. Hops water. Bitters and soda. Kava. A whole ocean of Temperance and Prohibition drinks. Barley water. Switchel. Teas. Tisanes. Yerba Maté. Aztec style chocolate. Juices. Yaupon. Cannabis drinks for those so inclined. I could go on for a long time.

Subby being an ignorant drunk is no reason for anyone else to do the same


oh yeah that too! my tea cabinet has both soba tea and roasted barley. both make excellent hot teas and also cold teas. dammit now I could really go for either of those, but I'm still imprisoned in the hell-rehab where very little PT even takes place, but they remain consistent with the enforced sleep deprivation driving me steadily into psychosis. also there is only lipton teabags here.

/and also, yes, screw you Subs!

//seriously, the 9 week medical coma was more fun than this
///plus the drugs were probably better?
 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2023-01-07 11:59:00 PM  
Thanks to all for educating me on how to be a good friend to someone I'm trying to support.

Yeah, tintar - I keep things on hand for her like that - in rural Alaska, sodas are ridiculously expensive (12-packs of Pepsi are on sale this week for $13.99 this week, for example).  So I make interesting fruity things for her.  Herbal tea beverages, too.  I always make sure there's a nice selection of beverages on hand for those who choose not to do alcohol, for whatever reason.

/not wearing pants
 
tintar [TotalFark]
2023-01-08 12:01:03 AM  

anuran: talkyournonsense: anuran: There are plenty of good non alcoholic beverages that aren't fizzy sugar water. Hops water. Bitters and soda. Kava. A whole ocean of Temperance and Prohibition drinks. Barley water. Switchel. Teas. Tisanes. Yerba Maté. Aztec style chocolate. Juices. Yaupon. Cannabis drinks for those so inclined. I could go on for a long time.

Subby being an ignorant drunk is no reason for anyone else to do the same

Bitters are minimum 40% alcohol

Not all brands. Dram's brand is glycerin based


beware Underberg - it's 44% and yet sold unguarded on supermarket shelves, even children can buy it (don't ask)
 
talkyournonsense
2023-01-08 12:32:58 AM  

tintar: anuran: talkyournonsense: anuran: There are plenty of good non alcoholic beverages that aren't fizzy sugar water. Hops water. Bitters and soda. Kava. A whole ocean of Temperance and Prohibition drinks. Barley water. Switchel. Teas. Tisanes. Yerba Maté. Aztec style chocolate. Juices. Yaupon. Cannabis drinks for those so inclined. I could go on for a long time.

Subby being an ignorant drunk is no reason for anyone else to do the same

Bitters are minimum 40% alcohol

Not all brands. Dram's brand is glycerin based

beware Underberg - it's 44% and yet sold unguarded on supermarket shelves, even children can buy it (don't ask)


I worked hospitality for almost 2 decades. The staff that came in for day shift and made themselves the "bartender's hangover cure" Ginger ale, lime, and ALL the bitters, I know what it is. It always kills me when the non-alc list at the restaurant has a drink with bitters in it, yo, you're only fooling yourself there my alcoholic comrade, ammirite?
 
anuran
2023-01-08 12:48:40 AM  

tintar: oh yeah that too! my tea cabinet has both soba tea and roasted barley. both make excellent hot teas and also cold teas. dammit now I could really go for either of those, but I'm still imprisoned in the hell-rehab where very little PT even takes place, but they remain consistent with the enforced sleep deprivation driving me steadily into psychosis. also there is only lipton teabags here.

/and also, yes, screw you Subs!

//seriously, the 9 week medical coma was more fun than this
///plus the drugs were probably better?


Would you like us to mail you better tea?
 
tintar [TotalFark]
2023-01-08 2:57:03 AM  

anuran: tintar: oh yeah that too! my tea cabinet has both soba tea and roasted barley. both make excellent hot teas and also cold teas. dammit now I could really go for either of those, but I'm still imprisoned in the hell-rehab where very little PT even takes place, but they remain consistent with the enforced sleep deprivation driving me steadily into psychosis. also there is only lipton teabags here.

/and also, yes, screw you Subs!

//seriously, the 9 week medical coma was more fun than this
///plus the drugs were probably better?

Would you like us to mail you better tea?


ah, what a kindness that would be! alas, my window is too shaded for sun tea, there's no refrigerator access for cold tea, and no electronics are allowed aside from toothbrushes and razors (what an odd tea, that!)

what I wouldn't give for a hot water machine, my lab-glass kettle, and a tin of lady grey!
 
anuran
2023-01-08 10:03:39 AM  

jlee4677: Personally I find non alcoholic beer as worthless as decaffeinated coffee, what's the point?


To slightly misquote Emo Philips " It's like giving a midget in a Brownie uniform to Matt Gaetz."
 
mikefinch
2023-01-08 9:25:22 PM  

talkyournonsense: tintar: anuran: talkyournonsense: anuran: There are plenty of good non alcoholic beverages that aren't fizzy sugar water. Hops water. Bitters and soda. Kava. A whole ocean of Temperance and Prohibition drinks. Barley water. Switchel. Teas. Tisanes. Yerba Maté. Aztec style chocolate. Juices. Yaupon. Cannabis drinks for those so inclined. I could go on for a long time.

Subby being an ignorant drunk is no reason for anyone else to do the same

Bitters are minimum 40% alcohol

Not all brands. Dram's brand is glycerin based

beware Underberg - it's 44% and yet sold unguarded on supermarket shelves, even children can buy it (don't ask)

I worked hospitality for almost 2 decades. The staff that came in for day shift and made themselves the "bartender's hangover cure" Ginger ale, lime, and ALL the bitters, I know what it is. It always kills me when the non-alc list at the restaurant has a drink with bitters in it, yo, you're only fooling yourself there my alcoholic comrade, ammirite?


By that logic anything that has vanilla or other extracts in it is out aswell.

I'm fairly certain the herbs in bitters will make you vomit in larger quantities so I'm not sure if you could even really drink them. You would have to slam an entire bottle and it likely wouldn't stay down.
 
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