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(The Philadelphia Inquirer)   Happy Festivus. Air your grievances and partake in the feats of strength   (inquirer.com) divider line
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    More: PSA, Festivus, Seinfeld, O'Keefe, Cosmo Kramer, Jerry Stiller, Frank Costanza, warped mind of Frank Costanza, Seinfeld fan  
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1592 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2022 at 3:49 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
homeless_need_help [TotalFark]
2022-12-23 1:21:41 PM  
GRIEVANCE: I'M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL OF YOU PEOPLE "FUNNYING' MY REALLY SMART COMMENTS!
 
KodosZardoz
2022-12-23 3:50:05 PM  
I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!
 
God--
2022-12-23 3:50:25 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Mrtraveler01
2022-12-23 3:52:17 PM  

KodosZardoz: I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!


YOU COULDN'T SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE...
 
baronbloodbath [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-23 3:54:21 PM  
My fear of strength was hosting a Festivus party on Saturday not knowing my appendix had burst.

Does that count?

/I got better
//I'm accepting donations for my medical bills in the name of The Human Fund
///my medical bills thus far are $10 for antibiotics- don't send me money all at once, you cheapskates!
 
Metastatic Capricorn [TotalFark]
2022-12-23 3:56:34 PM  

God--: [Fark user image 850x864]


files.mastodon.socialView Full Size
 
Metastatic Capricorn [TotalFark]
2022-12-23 3:58:51 PM  
Half of a disused clothesline in my yard was knocked over with a lawnmower (I'll get the other half down after the thaw).

It is now my Festivus pole.

lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
skyotter
2022-12-23 3:59:00 PM  
My non-distracting Festivus sweater
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
farkitallletitend
2022-12-23 4:02:15 PM  
Jessica Biel and Meghan Fox wearing nothing but their socks is not what I'll get for Christmas. Again.
 
OtherLittleGuy [BareFark]
2022-12-23 4:03:42 PM  
Why no D'Vana Tendi Birthday Thread?

/you got something against Starfleet Junior Officers of Orion Descendants?
 
Tom Marvolo Bombadil
2022-12-23 4:03:53 PM  

Mrtraveler01: KodosZardoz: I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!

YOU COULDN'T SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE...


WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING?
 
shinji3i
2022-12-23 4:05:43 PM  
I'M farkING TIRED OF ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO COMMENT IN THE CATURDAY THREADS BUT DON'T PUT UP A PICTURE OF YOUR FREN OR AT LEAST A MEME!
 
Black_Lazerus
2022-12-23 4:07:39 PM  
Good Morning this is Black Lazerus: as you know Festivus is here and since you couldn't join the celebration due to your Faith/religion, i have called you to air my grievances,
 
Professor Horatio Hufnagel
2022-12-23 4:08:31 PM  

Metastatic Capricorn: God--: [Fark user image 850x864]

[files.mastodon.social image 637x1446]


Cheers Intro (1982)
Youtube hiJ2SRgN9Zs


/Happy Festivus also
 
OtherLittleGuy [BareFark]
2022-12-23 4:16:22 PM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: Mrtraveler01: KodosZardoz: I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!

YOU COULDN'T SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE...

WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING?


Because we are all her:

pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
TheCableGuy
2022-12-23 4:28:40 PM  
I have absolutely no problems with any of you people!
 
A Screaming Man with Two-Toned Shoes
2022-12-23 4:44:39 PM  

baronbloodbath: My fear of strength was hosting a Festivus party on Saturday not knowing my appendix had burst.

/I got better



Fark user imageView Full Size


/seriously, friend, happy to hear it!
 
Rattrap007
2022-12-23 5:30:27 PM  

Mrtraveler01: KodosZardoz: I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!

YOU COULDN'T SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE...


Lost your train of thought?
 
Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient
2022-12-23 5:30:29 PM  
Don't email the help desk on the afternoon last day before the holiday break and expect us to talk your through the process of submitting an expense claim on the financial system (on which we have no access and experience) because you can't be half-assed enough to A) get your claims filed promptly, or B) read the farking instructions that the Finance department emails you every couple of months.

I'm not paid nearly enough to care about your crisis until after the new year.
 
bughunter [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-12-23 5:44:49 PM  
I'm celebrating Festivus with a shiny, brand-spanking new positive COVID test!

My grievance is that I tested negative 2 weeks ago when I felt sick.  Then on the first day I feel 100% better, I swab and it comes back positive.  Mother.... fkkr.

My feat of strength is that I'm still making a 16-lb standing rib roast for Xmas.  The entire family has tested positive, and we already have the roast, so WTF not?
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-23 6:02:42 PM  
I guess I picked the right day to double-down on my workout. Yay me.
 
groppet
2022-12-23 6:27:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
NathanAllen
2022-12-23 7:06:12 PM  
Grievance: I'm sick of running into assholes all day.
 
NathanAllen
2022-12-23 7:27:49 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: Don't email the help desk on the afternoon last day before the holiday break and expect us to talk your through the process of submitting an expense claim on the financial system (on which we have no access and experience) because you can't be half-assed enough to A) get your claims filed promptly, or B) read the farking instructions that the Finance department emails you every couple of months.

I'm not paid nearly enough to care about your crisis until after the new year.


I feel your pain.

/dealt with a stupid inquiry today
//on PTO
///fark rude and stupid co-workers.
 
nursetim
2022-12-23 7:34:37 PM  

NathanAllen: Grievance: I'm sick of running into assholes all day.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
bughunter [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-12-23 7:38:43 PM  

nursetim: NathanAllen: Grievance: I'm sick of running into assholes all day.

[Fark user image 425x402]


(That's the joke.)
 
bughunter [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-12-23 7:45:54 PM  

bughunter: My grievance is that I tested negative 2 weeks ago when I felt sick. Then on the first day I feel 100% better, I swab and it comes back positive. Mother.... fkkr.


So I just got off the phone with a nurse.  (Apparently they call everyone who tests positive at the clinic I go to.)

She said that they're starting to find that people who are fully vaxxed and boosted will frequently show a false negative early in the course of a COVID infection, but then test positive later.

For up to 90 days later, on a PCR test.

Not a typo:  Ninety.  Days.

Holy Fkk.  If that's true, I have a new grievance.

My employer requires I pass a covid test every two weeks, and rapid tests are not accepted.  Now I'm going to test positive for two months or more?  Long after I've recovered?

(And what the fark is the point of testing if it's not going to catch the disease when I'm contagious?!?)

I'm not sure I believe this nurse...
 
Bith Set Me Up
2022-12-23 8:07:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Somacandra [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-23 10:46:35 PM  

bughunter: So I just got off the phone with a nurse.  (Apparently they call everyone who tests positive at the clinic I go to.)

She said that they're starting to find that people who are fully vaxxed and boosted will frequently show a false negative early in the course of a COVID infection, but then test positive later.


My doc told me this also. Felt like shiat and like I had COVID again. This was months after I had had it. Weeks after the latest booster. Home test negative. Went in for tridemic PCR test and found out I had RSV.

That shiat be nasty.
 
Sgygus [TotalFark]
2022-12-23 11:21:00 PM  
My grievance: My browser keeps trying to finish my sentences.  That's my spouse's job.
My feet of strength: I haven't posted a grammatical mistake on fark for an entire year.

/tada!
 
morg
2022-12-24 12:41:20 AM  
I'm sure I'm not the only one where drunk dad on holidays hiats a little too close to home. I think I was 19 or 20 the last time I walked out of holiday dinner crying. I haven't had any contact with that SOB for twenty years. Don't even know if he's still alive and I don't care. The sad part is his sister died shortly after I broke contact and she and her husband had just adopted a kid. I have no idea what's going on with my cousin because my aunt's husband's family thinks dad is as much of an asshole as I do.Fortunately that is a big family so it should have worked out as well as it could.
 
morg
2022-12-24 12:53:45 AM  
A couple years after I broke off contact I received a drunken, rambling, Chrismas voice mail from the man. Except he thought he was talking to my brother. For fark's sake, get your shiat together, man. I apologize if this is too much information, that Festivus story really strikes a chord and I don't think people realize how traumatized that writer really is.
 
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