We limited ours to 4 presents from us and Santa:
Something they want;
Something they need;
Something just for fun;
Something to read.

Because they got presents from relatives, they still got a large number of presents. As teenagers, they began to complain about the annual book. One year the two of them were outright rude about the book and would not even read the inscription. The following year, they got three gifts from us. "But we always get four presents!" We pointed out that they had made it clear that they no longer wanted to receive a book. To be clear, we weren't giving discount copies of The Autobiography of Alex Jones. We worked hard to select books we thought they would love and wrote what we hoped was a meaningful and heartfelt inscription each year. They thought the book would be replaced with something else. Nope, that's not how it works.

Now, that our kids and most of their cousins are young adults, the in-laws have begun to hand out checks for Christmas. That's created a new source of stress. Neither my S.O. or I can compete with the money handed out by the in-laws. I've never liked the complete materialism of the way the in-laws celebrate Christmas. Now, the kids want checks from us also. One of them refused to name anything wanted for Christmas other than money.

This year, we plan to wrap a modest amount of cash, but it's bothering me. Next year, I think maybe we should say "You are adults and we are not ATMs. No cash, checks, or gift cards will be given. Only heartfelt gifts will be exchanged." My S.O. and in-laws disagree. My S.O.  thinks we should give them what they want and, if that's money, then we should give them money even if it is less money (due to our budget) than they asked for.