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(Local10 WPLG)   Ancient Egyptian Goddess with unusual strength visits Miami. Proceeds to act like drunken tourist   (local10.com) divider line
51
    More: Florida, Tupac Shakur, first officer, Crime, Emily Thomas Lochten, arrest report, MIAMI BEACH, ancient Egypt, Washington Avenue  
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4067 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2022 at 11:54 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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yahyahyah [TotalFark]
2022-12-12 8:57:35 PM  
Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2022-12-12 11:29:40 PM  
PCP or crank?
 
Klippoklondike [TotalFark]
2022-12-12 11:57:56 PM  
This DLC for Assassin's Creed: Origins is weird
 
Magorn [TotalFark]
2022-12-12 11:58:18 PM  
Neil Gaiman warned us:

media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-12-12 11:58:38 PM  

yahyahyah: Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?


Is it mine?  I'm all Set
 
Madman drummers bummers [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-13 12:04:02 AM  
Let's cheer her on:

Ra! Ra! Ra!
 
johnny_vegas [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 12:04:54 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: yahyahyah: Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?

Is it mine?  I'm all Set


Isis what you did there, you Bastet
 
khatores
2022-12-13 12:07:39 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: yahyahyah: Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?

Is it mine?  I'm all Set


I'll pay for her ride home when she gets out, but only if she takes a new bus.
 
Mad-n-FL
2022-12-13 12:08:07 AM  
So, when DOES Moonknight season two release?
 
scalpod
2022-12-13 12:24:25 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
ClintonTyree [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 12:26:57 AM  

johnny_vegas: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: yahyahyah: Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?

Is it mine?  I'm all Set

Isis what you did there, you Bastet


Ra, Ra, Ra!

/Anubis joint was low class when I walked in
 
Diocletian's Last Cabbage [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 12:31:04 AM  
Those people should've run!  Should've run so pharaoh way!
 
baronbloodbath [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-13 12:32:56 AM  

Diocletian's Last Cabbage: Those people should've run!  Should've run so pharaoh way!


Couldn't get away.
 
fragMasterFlash [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-13 12:34:28 AM  
Come on down, you're the next contestant on Jail House Detox!!!

/Thursday nights at 10:00
//Only on OAN
 
Spiritual Pagan [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 12:36:39 AM  
Plot for Mummy 4
 
gameshowhost [OhFark]
2022-12-13 12:38:25 AM  
The one child that Will Smith refuses to speak of.
 
MagnusBarefoot
2022-12-13 12:38:53 AM  
I met a "God" once, many moons ago at a Legalize Weed music festival. Came up to our group, pupils so blown no iris was left, and the creepiest smile on his face. We found out the next day he was either hippy tripping (mushrooms and acid) or hippy flipping (MDMA/"Molly" and mushrooms).

"I'm God!" He declared.

"Hi God!" We all said in our best non- condescending voices. What else do you say?

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course we do!"

"I'll prove it!" He says, and pulls a set of keys out of his pocket.  "If I wasn't God, would I do this?" And turns and throws them into the fire.

Let me take a moment to describe the fire pit. The fire pit was a cylindrical container, like a 55-gallon drum, on its side cut in half lengthwise - EXCEPT that the "drum" was ~25 FEET long and ~12 FEET in diameter; I heard it was an old underground fuel storage tank from a gas station. They threw entire picnic tables into this thing regularly.

The point is, it's not like it would be possible to just get a stick and fish them back out; and with as hot as it got in the bottom is entirely possible they might not resemble keys by the time the pit was cool enough to retrieve them.

We stared, agape, as he wandered off to inform others of his newfound God-hood.

Next afternoon was leaving time, and we see the erstwhile God, looking haggard and plenty human in the light of day, wandering camp to camp. He stops by our camp "Hey I know this is a long shot but any chance you've seen some keys to [car make]? They're my roommates and I lost them."

We at least got to bring his search to an end, but I'll never forget the horrified look on his face when we described what happened.  Never did hear about the aftermath, as we left shortly thereafter.
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-12-13 12:42:51 AM  

MagnusBarefoot: I met a "God" once, many moons ago at a Legalize Weed music festival. Came up to our group, pupils so blown no iris was left, and the creepiest smile on his face. We found out the next day he was either hippy tripping (mushrooms and acid) or hippy flipping (MDMA/"Molly" and mushrooms).

"I'm God!" He declared.

"Hi God!" We all said in our best non- condescending voices. What else do you say?

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course we do!"

"I'll prove it!" He says, and pulls a set of keys out of his pocket.  "If I wasn't God, would I do this?" And turns and throws them into the fire.

Let me take a moment to describe the fire pit. The fire pit was a cylindrical container, like a 55-gallon drum, on its side cut in half lengthwise - EXCEPT that the "drum" was ~25 FEET long and ~12 FEET in diameter; I heard it was an old underground fuel storage tank from a gas station. They threw entire picnic tables into this thing regularly.

The point is, it's not like it would be possible to just get a stick and fish them back out; and with as hot as it got in the bottom is entirely possible they might not resemble keys by the time the pit was cool enough to retrieve them.

We stared, agape, as he wandered off to inform others of his newfound God-hood.

Next afternoon was leaving time, and we see the erstwhile God, looking haggard and plenty human in the light of day, wandering camp to camp. He stops by our camp "Hey I know this is a long shot but any chance you've seen some keys to [car make]? They're my roommates and I lost them."

We at least got to bring his search to an end, but I'll never forget the horrified look on his face when we described what happened.  Never did hear about the aftermath, as we left shortly thereafter.


I don't get it.  I've been fried enough to have an hours-long conversation with dwarves that lived in the bushes up on a mountain - and enjoy it - I was happily occupied.  I have never managed to just destroy my/others' shiat for no discernible reason, claim deity-hood, cook babies, or wave my hands in front of my face and stare at trails

/ok I'm lying on the last one
 
MagnusBarefoot
2022-12-13 12:48:43 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: MagnusBarefoot: I met a "God" once, many moons ago at a Legalize Weed music festival. Came up to our group, pupils so blown no iris was left, and the creepiest smile on his face. We found out the next day he was either hippy tripping (mushrooms and acid) or hippy flipping (MDMA/"Molly" and mushrooms).

"I'm God!" He declared.

"Hi God!" We all said in our best non- condescending voices. What else do you say?

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course we do!"

"I'll prove it!" He says, and pulls a set of keys out of his pocket.  "If I wasn't God, would I do this?" And turns and throws them into the fire.

Let me take a moment to describe the fire pit. The fire pit was a cylindrical container, like a 55-gallon drum, on its side cut in half lengthwise - EXCEPT that the "drum" was ~25 FEET long and ~12 FEET in diameter; I heard it was an old underground fuel storage tank from a gas station. They threw entire picnic tables into this thing regularly.

The point is, it's not like it would be possible to just get a stick and fish them back out; and with as hot as it got in the bottom is entirely possible they might not resemble keys by the time the pit was cool enough to retrieve them.

We stared, agape, as he wandered off to inform others of his newfound God-hood.

Next afternoon was leaving time, and we see the erstwhile God, looking haggard and plenty human in the light of day, wandering camp to camp. He stops by our camp "Hey I know this is a long shot but any chance you've seen some keys to [car make]? They're my roommates and I lost them."

We at least got to bring his search to an end, but I'll never forget the horrified look on his face when we described what happened.  Never did hear about the aftermath, as we left shortly thereafter.

I don't get it.  I've been fried enough to have an hours-long conversation with dwarves that lived in the bushes up on a mountain - and enjoy it - I was happily occupied.  I have never managed to just destroy my/others' shiat for no discernible reason, claim deity-hood, cook babies, or wave my hands in front of my face and stare at trails

/ok I'm lying on the last one


Agreed.

In fact, while I never thought about it at the time (at least, not that I recall now) each time I went psycho-tripping I believe I was pretty conscientious to *not* destroy anything because of how I feared I might experience such concentrated entropy.
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-13 12:53:37 AM  
Even goddesses suffer from jet lag, I see.
 
yahyahyah [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 12:58:02 AM  
When someone asks you if you're a god...
 
Sub Human [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-13 1:05:58 AM  
No, I'm known as "The Nameless One" or "She whose name shall not be spoken"

You know, Hastur.
 
CrazyCurt
2022-12-13 1:06:06 AM  
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Fark user image
Amanda Batchelor

Well of course it takes a man to bachelor ...

/ Had to be done.
 
Vtimlin
2022-12-13 1:08:40 AM  
Egyptian goddess of insomnia
 
Nogale
2022-12-13 1:11:19 AM  
"Ptah-da!"
 
Nogale
2022-12-13 1:12:51 AM  
Some Junkie Cosmonaut:

I don't get it.  I've been fried enough to have an hours-long conversation with dwarves that lived in the bushes up on a mountain - and enjoy it - I was happily occupied.  I have never managed to just destroy my/others' shiat for no discer ...

Clearly you're not trying hard enough.
 
Sonnuvah
2022-12-13 1:42:47 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Mad Canadian
2022-12-13 1:49:09 AM  

MagnusBarefoot: I met a "God" once, many moons ago at a Legalize Weed music festival. Came up to our group, pupils so blown no iris was left, and the creepiest smile on his face. We found out the next day he was either hippy tripping (mushrooms and acid) or hippy flipping (MDMA/"Molly" and mushrooms).

"I'm God!" He declared.

"Hi God!" We all said in our best non- condescending voices. What else do you say?

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course we do!"

"I'll prove it!" He says, and pulls a set of keys out of his pocket.  "If I wasn't God, would I do this?" And turns and throws them into the fire.

Let me take a moment to describe the fire pit. The fire pit was a cylindrical container, like a 55-gallon drum, on its side cut in half lengthwise - EXCEPT that the "drum" was ~25 FEET long and ~12 FEET in diameter; I heard it was an old underground fuel storage tank from a gas station. They threw entire picnic tables into this thing regularly.

The point is, it's not like it would be possible to just get a stick and fish them back out; and with as hot as it got in the bottom is entirely possible they might not resemble keys by the time the pit was cool enough to retrieve them.

We stared, agape, as he wandered off to inform others of his newfound God-hood.

Next afternoon was leaving time, and we see the erstwhile God, looking haggard and plenty human in the light of day, wandering camp to camp. He stops by our camp "Hey I know this is a long shot but any chance you've seen some keys to [car make]? They're my roommates and I lost them."

We at least got to bring his search to an end, but I'll never forget the horrified look on his face when we described what happened.  Never did hear about the aftermath, as we left shortly thereafter.


Why did God need car keys?
 
Caelistis
2022-12-13 1:56:05 AM  

CrazyCurt: ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
[Fark user image 86x86]
Amanda Batchelor

Well of course it takes a man to bachelor ...

/ Had to be done.


Huh. I didn't know the Green Goblin had any daughters.
 
Nuff Said McFarky
2022-12-13 2:07:58 AM  
Wanted for questioning:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
CrazyCurt
2022-12-13 2:27:26 AM  
The headline gave me the weirdest ... feeling.

/ Woo oh oh feelings.
 
daffy
2022-12-13 3:05:13 AM  
These are the worse puns. I love them.
 
LesterB
2022-12-13 3:48:03 AM  
Was it her?

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-12-13 4:52:55 AM  

Nogale: Some Junkie Cosmonaut:

I don't get it.  I've been fried enough to have an hours-long conversation with dwarves that lived in the bushes up on a mountain - and enjoy it - I was happily occupied.  I have never managed to just destroy my/others' shiat for no discer ...

Clearly you're not trying hard enough.


I'm not sure I could try harder than 14 tabs at once

/it was an accident of sorts
//some had fallen behind a desk and sat there just drying out for 2 years
///we figured obviously they had degraded/evaporated over the years I mean c'mon - so we just split the remnants of the sheet
////turns out they hadn't much - if at all.  Don't do that kids - shiat got... weird
 
Gordon Bennett [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-12-13 5:21:58 AM  

Mad Canadian: Why did God need car keys?


To start his starship.
 
bostonguy [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 6:59:19 AM  
A woman who claimed to be a "God from ancient Egypt" was arrested Sunday afternoon

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
CheatCommando [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 7:26:42 AM  

yahyahyah: Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?


Thoth says "not me, I had last time."
 
NathanAllen
2022-12-13 7:26:53 AM  
Is a God from Ancient Egypt different than an Ancient Egyptian God?
 
Izo [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 8:26:03 AM  
Ever notice its always some 'god', royalty, warrior?  You never hear people claiming to be some farm worker from ancient Mesopotamia.

Marie Antionette must have about a thousand reincarnations to complete.
 
jclaggett
2022-12-13 9:26:50 AM  

Mugato: PCP or crank?


It's Florida. So...bath salts.
 
hegelsghost
2022-12-13 9:33:29 AM  
For a Goddess, she does not look very well.
 
Some Junkie Cosmonaut
2022-12-13 9:47:18 AM  

hegelsghost: For a Goddess, she does not look very well.


She's the goddess of lost weekends that you're glad you don't remember
 
discoballer
2022-12-13 10:07:05 AM  

Magorn: Neil Gaiman warned us:

[media-amazon.com image 329x500]


Good thing nobody tried to have sex with her.
 
Slypork
2022-12-13 10:43:45 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Slaxl
2022-12-13 11:13:48 AM  
Thats why you don't travel without your Jaffa guards.
 
apotheosis27
2022-12-13 11:32:53 AM  
I used to live a block away from there.  There are many gods in South Beach.
 
Biser
2022-12-13 11:38:28 AM  
Is she a Ferengi?  Or possibly part Ferengi?
 
ObscureNameHere
2022-12-13 11:43:30 AM  

ClintonTyree: johnny_vegas: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: yahyahyah: Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?

Is it mine?  I'm all Set

Isis what you did there, you Bastet

Ra, Ra, Ra!

/Anubis joint was low class when I walked in


I Thoth we weren't to be making Egyptian God puns....
 
CheatCommando [TotalFark]
2022-12-13 2:25:57 PM  

ObscureNameHere: ClintonTyree: johnny_vegas: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: yahyahyah: Whose turn is it to bail out Sekhmet?

Is it mine?  I'm all Set

Isis what you did there, you Bastet

Ra, Ra, Ra!

/Anubis joint was low class when I walked in

I Thoth we weren't to be making Egyptian God puns....


Osirisly?
 
stuffy
2022-12-13 2:33:55 PM  
Didn't know Ancient Egyptians had a Goddess of Brain Fried.
 
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