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(Mercury News)   All I want is for my wedding guests to dress like bananas and worship me in silence for the entire reception. Why is my fiance being so selfish and unreasonable?   (mercurynews.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm  
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524 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 09 Dec 2022 at 8:40 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



24 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-12-08 9:49:49 PM  
Dude, turn and run. Run fast and run far.
 
2022-12-09 3:11:45 AM  

felching pen: Dude, turn and run. Run fast and run far.


And when you can't run any further, find someone to carry you.
 
2022-12-09 4:21:16 AM  
A land war in Europe comes as no surprise.
 
2022-12-09 6:09:20 AM  
This guy should run so fast he leaves a smoke outline of himself behind *and* a him-shaped hole in the wall next to the door.
 
2022-12-09 6:24:53 AM  

Ghastly: felching pen: Dude, turn and run. Run fast and run far.

And when you can't run any further, find someone to carry you.


And when they can't carry you any further, get in a car and go as fast as you can.
 
2022-12-09 8:39:26 AM  
And when the car runs out of gas, steal another one and keep going.
 
2022-12-09 8:54:25 AM  

vudukungfu: And when the car runs out of gas, steal another one and keep going.


Until it gets you to a plane.
 
2022-12-09 9:01:50 AM  
Look. We all want to be Lord Hastur but...no...I'm...I'm sorry. He who must not be named...no! Nooooooooo!
 
2022-12-09 9:12:40 AM  
I wasn't aware I could make requests like this.

I want all of the guests at my wedding to dress up like extras in the Double Deuce.  The women will look like groupies for a hair metal band and the dudes will wear shirts with the sleeves ripped off.  I'll be the guy not wearing a shirt.
uncletnuc.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-09 9:15:27 AM  

Demetrius: vudukungfu: And when the car runs out of gas, steal another one and keep going.

Until it gets you to a plane.


And fly the plane to Cape Canaveral and get on the Falcon 9 taking off in 2 days.
 
2022-12-09 9:44:05 AM  

mcmnky: And fly the plane to Cape Canaveral and get on the Falcon 9 taking off in 2 days.


And strap yourself to the second stage.
 
2022-12-09 11:00:37 AM  

DannyBrandt: mcmnky: And fly the plane to Cape Canaveral and get on the Falcon 9 taking off in 2 days.

And strap yourself to the second stage.


<back up a few steps>.
Fark her sister first
<ok, now run like hell>
 
2022-12-09 11:29:52 AM  
She wants to be surrounded by phallic objects all day at her wedding and be worshiped by said phallic objects?

Sounds like the honeymoon is going to be all hotdog-down-a-hallway.
 
2022-12-09 12:10:10 PM  
Found her picture

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-09 12:33:16 PM  
Queen Kong
Youtube 4dH_Jyawl4Q
 
2022-12-09 1:21:58 PM  
 
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-09 2:21:54 PM  
Appropriately enough, this is the ad that is I'm seeing next to this thread:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Seriously, the letter seems like a prank, but as a devoted reader of advice columns, you have to suspend disbelief or it's no fun.
 
2022-12-09 4:25:06 PM  
I don't see the appeal of this.
 
2022-12-09 8:11:47 PM  
There should be a cartoon silhouette hole in the wall as this guy flees.
 
2022-12-10 12:27:51 AM  
The Yellow request.   Is she buying their outfits? Does everyone pick their own shade of yellow?   There is no way that could live up to whatever image she has in her head.
 
2022-12-10 1:43:06 AM  
You can boss your bridal party around (until they get fed up and abandon you), but you can't demand that kind of bullshiat of your guests.
 
2022-12-10 12:16:30 PM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size


Like This?
 
2022-12-10 4:15:52 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-10 6:48:20 PM  
I want him to support me, even if we disagree on something.

And he wants you to support him, even if you disagree on something.
Isn't it funny how that works?


Picture of the bride:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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