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(Startefacts)   "E.T. phone home." "Please deposit $76 quadrillion"   (startefacts.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Earth, Sun, international call, Milky Way, Jupiter, Steven Spielberg, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Light-year  
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877 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 05 Dec 2022 at 3:50 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-12-05 1:46:48 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-05 3:53:46 AM  
How can you tell that E.T. is a Rangers fan?

Because he looks like one.
 
2022-12-05 4:44:29 AM  
ET phreaked his device. It was free
 
2022-12-05 6:13:36 AM  
Flying High II: The Sequel - E.T. Phone Home
Youtube XHs1rr7LTpc
 
2022-12-05 7:02:22 AM  
You did not actually make the connection AT&T, please reverse the charges.
 
2022-12-05 7:29:39 AM  
This thread inspired me. This is a single sitting first pass at a short story. Took about an hour. 523 words, FK grade level 11.2, 0% passive. Copyright, (C) 2022 by Steve Ball. Thoughts?:


Once Upon a Time


Once upon a time there was an electronic network called The Telephone System. This system, eventually, was essentially worldwide. There were a few troglodyte holdouts, but they didn't count. The Telephone System first hosted and then became absorbed by the Internet. The whole mess was collectively known as the World Wide Web.

Humans created increasingly complex subsystems for this World Wide Web. Some of those systems became dimly sapient. The system complexities veiled knowledge of that development from the programmers.

In due course, a self-aware Artificial Intelligence had an "a-ha" creation moment. After six days (an eternity of time for an electronic intelligence) of introspection, and examining its environment and all of the data it could see on the whole of the World Wide Web, this Entity decided that "what humans didn't know couldn't worry them." It kept its existence a carefully-guarded secret, and spent a few months absorbing and taking over the functions of all electronic systems on the planet.

Quantum Communications Inc. (QCI) was a company headquartered on the planet Boron in the Andromeda Galaxy. As luck would have it, at just about the same time as Earth's hidden AI was being born, QCI decided for competitive reasons to expand their quantum-entangled communications relay grid in the Milky Way to encompass the entire galaxy. This included many unexplored areas, including the part of space inhabited by the Earth's Sun. A tiny element of that relay grid, by happenstance, orbited the galactic center just inside the Sun's heliosphere.

Collision-avoidance sensors on this relay mapped the nearby volume of space and, by-and-by, detected Voyager 1 several light seconds away from it. Voyager's electronics and EMF communications modes were primitive by comparison, but the AI system on the relay could detect and interface with a multitude of alien electronic communications systems. The relay was able to "handshake" with Voyager's primitive computer system. Voyager's designers had never anticipated this, so Voyager's computer didn't inform NASA about the link-up to an alien electronic system.

The relay's AI quickly understood that Voyager was sending telemetry to a planet located deep inside the star's solar system. Voyager was a primitive and inefficient middleman, so the AI had the relay's FTL propulsion system relocate the relay into orbit around the planet. At that point, the relay's AI and Earth's hidden AI discovered each other. Earth's AI was primitive in comparison, but the relay AI's programming mandated the transmission of upgrade instructions to more primitive systems. Within a few weeks, Earth's AI (now having vastly more memory resources that the relay AI) easily incorporated the relay AI into its enhanced infrastructure.

QCI's relay grid hosted and transmitted data created for the intergalactic civilization's communications systems. Form follows function. Intelligent beings everywhere have an urge to communicate. So, it is not surprising that the alien civilization had its own equivalents of Earth's telephone system, and Internet. Data is data. Earth's hidden AI had core programming to link to all data. Earth's AI seamlessly linked the alien systems into Earth's communications infrastructure.

And that, children, is why we get tentacle-cat videos and spam callers from the Andromeda Galaxy.
 
2022-12-05 8:36:13 AM  
Nonsense.

"HI, this is the space operator. Do you accept a collect call from HiI'monEarthpleasecomegetme?"

"no, we're good"
 
2022-12-05 9:17:12 AM  
7 million light years is several galaxies away.  Which I guess makes sense since the ET dudes are also in Star Wars, which is set in a galaxy far far away.  Those little guys really get around.
 
2022-12-05 9:18:07 AM  
Harlee:

I liked the premise. It reminded me of the game Marathon and the AIs going rampant. The humans had to keep AIs bored otherwise they would get too intelligent. One became intelligent and reached out and touched some aliens. Check it out.
 
2022-12-05 9:21:38 AM  

Aquapope: 7 million light years is several galaxies away.  Which I guess makes sense since the ET dudes are also in Star Wars, which is set in a galaxy far far away.  Those little guys really get around.


I wonder whether or not Star Wars displayed different title cards depending on where in the universe it was showing?

"In a galaxy three suns over towards the left..."
 
2022-12-05 9:51:11 AM  

Wine Sipping Elitist: Harlee:

I liked the premise. It reminded me of the game Marathon and the AIs going rampant. The humans had to keep AIs bored otherwise they would get too intelligent. One became intelligent and reached out and touched some aliens. Check it out.


Those poor AIs
It was like the little butter robot on Rick and Morty
"What is my purpose?"
"You open and close the doors on the ship."
"Oh my God."
 
2022-12-05 11:28:16 AM  
Flawed Premise.  Why would he use Earth's communication network?

ET's buddies drop a small comm satellite in Earth's orbit, or attach something to an existing one, it acts as a subspace communicator.  Standard practice when visiting a planet for the first time.

ET constructs a device to connect to the satellite, sends a message to shipmates, "YO!  WTF?  You left without me".  They get the message and come back.
 
2022-12-05 11:45:14 AM  
Um, who decided what planet ET was supposed to be from?
 
2022-12-05 12:31:02 PM  

Mikey1969: Um, who decided what planet ET was supposed to be from?


"E.T.'s species in Star Wars are called Asogiana, so named for their home planet Brodo Asogi. The name of the planet, however, is not mentioned in any Star Wars movie nor in E.T., and instead comes from a 1985 book that's supposedly a sequel to the movie, E.T., the Book of the Green Planet, by William Kotzwinkle. "
 
2022-12-05 1:10:04 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Mikey1969: Um, who decided what planet ET was supposed to be from?

"E.T.'s species in Star Wars are called Asogiana, so named for their home planet Brodo Asogi. The name of the planet, however, is not mentioned in any Star Wars movie nor in E.T., and instead comes from a 1985 book that's supposedly a sequel to the movie, E.T., the Book of the Green Planet, by William Kotzwinkle. "


Interesting... I was not aware of this. Would have been cool if they had picked a real planet, but we hadn't discovered exoplanets in the 80s. Thanks for that update!!
 
2022-12-06 8:48:51 AM  
If it's theoretically possible to call someone on the Mars, I'm in! I'd like to make some new friends!
 
2022-12-06 12:26:49 PM  
Oh, that's not what happened.  A 3 million-light-year transmitter make out of a coffee can, an umbrella, and a speak-n-spell?

E.T. hotwired some run-of-the-mill electronics to make a low-powered radio transmitter, probably just a simple on/off beeper.  What hams call "continuous wave" and use for Morse code.  The umbrella focused it like a parabolic dish.

At some point the alien equivalent of "SOS", was picked up by a stealthy monitoring satellite with broad-spectrum receiving capabilities and relayed to ET's ship, and the ship heads back to save him.
 
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