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(WTAJ)   Man admits that he drank, "not nearly enough," said he was, "here," and was about to be released to his family when he tried to snack like Dahmer   (wtaj.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Misdemeanor, Timothy Rossetti, Assault, security officer's finger, Felony, Medical personnel, affidavit of probable cause, security officer  
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2554 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2022 at 10:05 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-12-04 7:16:45 PM  
No matter where you go, there you are.
 
2022-12-04 7:21:33 PM  
All Cops Are Bite-size
 
2022-12-04 8:53:44 PM  
He sounds fun.  A real party animal. Get him a muzzle and he can come over, we're playing Cards Against Humanity.
 
2022-12-04 10:09:40 PM  
"Police: Drunk man charged with biting security officer in State College"

Is that a euphemism?

/Ooh! He bit 'im, right in the ol' "State College"!
 
2022-12-04 10:09:54 PM  
This is easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in State College, PA.
 
2022-12-04 10:20:56 PM  
6pm? Dude.
 
2022-12-04 10:25:46 PM  

Ivo Shandor: No matter where you go, there you are.


rare B-52s reference.   nice.
 
2022-12-04 10:26:50 PM  

Straight Outta Wells Branch: This is easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in State College, PA.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-04 10:26:50 PM  
FTFA:  "A man was charged with biting a security officer's finger..."

Maybe he should have pulled it.
 
2022-12-04 10:27:48 PM  
State College? Must be a Tuesday.
 
2022-12-04 10:40:26 PM  
i wish i could drink enough to black out.
 
2022-12-04 10:41:02 PM  

Straight Outta Wells Branch: This is easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in State College, PA.


People in State College, PA would gleefully say that too...
 
2022-12-04 10:43:08 PM  
remember folks; drinking makes you cool and gives you fun stories you may/may not be able to remember later.

/sure he'll have fun explaining to the judge
 
2022-12-04 10:44:22 PM  

tembaarmswide: i wish i could drink enough to black out.


This.
I'm almost 50.
I've blacked out 1.5 times.
My birthday i drank Flaming Dr Peppers with each person that showed up.  Passed out in the restroom at some point.

The next I assume I blacked out.
I drank half a case of natty daddy.  Woke up and the other half was gone. I must of drank it OR tossed it 🤷‍♂
 
2022-12-04 10:49:18 PM  

Straight Outta Wells Branch: This is easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in State College, PA.


I lost my car.  Like, literally misplaced it!  In my defense, I was doing deliveries, and thought it wouldn't take that long, so I walked.  I turned the wrong way, and spent like 45 minutes trying to figure out where in downtown I'd parked.
 
2022-12-04 10:53:52 PM  

Incident on 57th Street: FTFA:  "A man was charged with biting a security officer's finger..."

Maybe he should have pulled it.


Can't fart anymore if you ain't got no finger to pull after somebody chews it off.

pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-04 10:54:17 PM  
But for some reason, we can't legalize weed and outlaw liquor.

I was in the Navy, and saw my share of violent drunks. Never saw a violent stoner.

I'd like to see many drugs be legalized, with strict production and dosage, and encourage their use in safe spaces; convert a bar into an LSD or shroom place, and the "bouncers" are there to keep people safe. Have places for the opioid users; clean needles, the drugs are supplied by the government to ensure purity, and they have Narcan on hand.

Instead, this guy gets a felony record and will spend 6-8 months in jail. Will lose his job, etc. The Republican wet dream. Back on the chain gang...
 
2022-12-04 11:05:09 PM  

bluorangefyre: Straight Outta Wells Branch: This is easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in State College, PA.

I lost my car.  Like, literally misplaced it!  In my defense, I was doing deliveries, and thought it wouldn't take that long, so I walked.  I turned the wrong way, and spent like 45 minutes trying to figure out where in downtown I'd parked.


Why were you delivering things drunk?
 
2022-12-04 11:06:32 PM  

fatalvenom: Straight Outta Wells Branch: This is easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in State College, PA.

People in State College, PA would gleefully say that too...


And that's the problem right there with State College, PA.
 
2022-12-04 11:07:56 PM  
When asked if he knew where he was, Rossetti reportedly said "here."

See, he was hoping the cop'd be like, ... "I guess you got me there, mister. Take the cuffs off, boys. He knows where he is. We all know. We're right here. Right here."  And the music would swell, as tears and singing break out, and the men begin to dance arm in arm, and the women appear and serve everyone dishes of meat and bread while the camera pulls out into the sky, and the credits roll.
 
2022-12-04 11:15:20 PM  

fatalvenom: bluorangefyre: Straight Outta Wells Branch: This is easily the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened in State College, PA.

I lost my car.  Like, literally misplaced it!  In my defense, I was doing deliveries, and thought it wouldn't take that long, so I walked.  I turned the wrong way, and spent like 45 minutes trying to figure out where in downtown I'd parked.

Why were you delivering things drunk?


duh,because it's more fun.
 
2022-12-04 11:18:14 PM  

Prof. Frink: 6pm? Dude.


It was a 4pm kick-off.  The tailgating lots opened at 8am.  It was the last game of the season.  He was found wandering the road that the Stadium is on (granted, about 8 blocks or so away).  He's just a stupid kid that drank too much.
 
2022-12-04 11:22:03 PM  
Pairs well with hangover in holding cell and diaria
 
2022-12-04 11:23:23 PM  

Stud Gerbil: Ivo Shandor: No matter where you go, there you are.

rare B-52s reference.   nice.


No man ...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-05 12:04:42 AM  
That could be song lyrics.

I want to eat like Dahmer
Dance like Jagger
Smoke like Willie
Then I would have swagger
 
2022-12-05 12:50:10 AM  
i dont get the call an ems and check him out, release to a family member and end up at the hospital junk... throw him in the drunk tank... get an egg mcmuffin and a hangover and do it again tuesday.
 
2022-12-05 1:21:41 AM  

Raider_dad: Stud Gerbil: Ivo Shandor: No matter where you go, there you are.

rare B-52s reference.   nice.

No man ...
[Fark user image 488x352]


It's also a line from Girl from Ipanema Goes to Greenland
 
2022-12-05 1:41:00 AM  

Stud Gerbil: Raider_dad: Stud Gerbil: Ivo Shandor: No matter where you go, there you are.

rare B-52s reference.   nice.

No man ...
[Fark user image 488x352]

It's also a line from Girl from Ipanema Goes to Greenland


For the record, I was thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai one.
 
2022-12-05 9:54:41 AM  

look! a robot!: i dont get the call an ems and check him out, release to a family member and end up at the hospital junk... throw him in the drunk tank... get an egg mcmuffin and a hangover and do it again tuesday.


As someone that had a similar incident over a decade ago in the same town... State College/University Park doesn't have a drunk tank.  If you are deemed too drunk to care for yourself, you get taken to the hospital, where they confiscate your clothes and make you wait it out there.  If you're lucky, you get an I.V., but most just getstuck there for several hours before being given back their clothes and sent home in a taxi.

You get a public drunkenness and/or disorderly conduct (~$120 fine, totals ~$450 after court costs are added in) and ~$4,000 in hospital and EMS fees and (at least in my case), the final nudge needed to stop drinking.
 
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