Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Cruises can be the absolute best way to travel, assuming you don't mind Norovirus, Coronavirus, RSV, Legionnaire's Disease, Influenza, Hepatitis A, or rich assholes   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Cruise ship, Cruise line, Holland America Line, Ship, cruise ship, husband-to-be, recent episode of Bravo, little effort  
•       •       •

2053 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2022 at 7:05 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



83 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-12-03 2:16:36 PM  
Don't forget screaming children. Unless it's a Virgin cruise.
 
2022-12-03 2:22:25 PM  
balcony room is the only way to go
 
2022-12-03 2:45:06 PM  

goodluckwiththat: balcony room is the only way to go


..when it comes to suicidal ideation on a cruise excursion.
 
2022-12-03 2:58:18 PM  
Yeah...much like Comicon. Dragoncon.
Or a Fark Party
 
2022-12-03 3:08:14 PM  
The Best "host Hotels" prices I can find for Dragon Con. Is around 280 a night...with mandatory 4 night stay.
So, around 1200 for the weekend. And that does not include meals, luggage handling, or testical fondling . Or complimentary buffet.

And unlike a cruise, if you get a balcony room with a view for megabucks a night....when you open the window and step outside....YOU'RE NOT IN ATLANTA.

But in dragoncon you can still brush butts with smelly dudes fighting over duncan doughnuts and first edition X-Men comics.
 
2022-12-03 3:29:22 PM  

Breaker Moran: goodluckwiththat: balcony room is the only way to go

..when it comes to suicidal ideation on a cruise excursion.


that is just cruel.
my ideation of a great vacation  LOL
 
2022-12-03 3:31:08 PM  

optikeye: The Best "host Hotels" prices I can find for Dragon Con. Is around 280 a night...with mandatory 4 night stay.
So, around 1200 for the weekend. And that does not include meals, luggage handling, or testical fondling . Or complimentary buffet.

And unlike a cruise, if you get a balcony room with a view for megabucks a night....when you open the window and step outside....YOU'RE NOT IN ATLANTA.

But in dragoncon you can still brush butts with smelly dudes fighting over duncan doughnuts and first edition X-Men comics.


why would I ever want to brush butts with smelly dudes?
 
2022-12-03 4:34:56 PM  
The two cruises we took, on Norwegian, the other Disney were fantastic. We had such a good time.
But post pandemic, I don't think we're going to take another one.
 
2022-12-03 5:23:10 PM  
Not even if they were free.
 
2022-12-03 6:41:48 PM  
Floating petri dish.
 
2022-12-03 7:02:46 PM  
Cruises seem like a nightmare to me. I'm an introvert that also has claustrophobia. All those people stuck together with no where to go to escape them unless you hide in your room. Ugh!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-03 7:07:33 PM  

Yaw String: Don't forget screaming children. Unless it's a Virgin cruise.


disorientedtheology.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-03 7:08:41 PM  

Yaw String: Don't forget screaming children. Unless it's a Virgin cruise.


Unless you're the screaming child.
 
2022-12-03 7:13:15 PM  

kabloink: Cruises seem like a nightmare to me. I'm an introvert that also has claustrophobia. All those people stuck together with no where to go to escape them unless you hide in your room. Ugh!


Sameul Johnson said something like, "Going to sea is like going to prison, with the added danger of drowning."
 
2022-12-03 7:13:46 PM  
Rich assholes don't take cruises. "Rich" assholes take cruises. Rich assholes have their own vessels.
 
2022-12-03 7:14:04 PM  
I have absolutely no intention of ever going on a cruise.  There is nothing whatsoever appealing about them.
 
2022-12-03 7:14:36 PM  
... nobody with any real money is going to be on a cruise liner.
 
2022-12-03 7:15:22 PM  
Carnival cruise ships and most large liners look like hell to me.  However my family took a cruise back in the 90s on a ship that was much smaller than the ones you see today, and it was lovely. Not too crowded, we didn't destroy the port when we pulled in, but there was always something to keep you entertained.
 
2022-12-03 7:16:50 PM  
Except the Jones act gets in the way. Can't have my Panamanian flagged ship crewed by Filipinos take passengers between US ports.
 
2022-12-03 7:18:34 PM  

Rene ala Carte: Not even if they were free.


You sound poor.
 
2022-12-03 7:20:55 PM  
If I ever go on one I want a giant sea monster to grab the boat and cause a B movie level drama before sinking it.
 
2022-12-03 7:23:32 PM  
I worked in 285-ft long oceangoing research vessels for decades. When my first wife wanted to take an Alaska cruise, I told her I'd feel like I was a postman taking a hike on his day off. The food was worse, it was crowded, and worst of all I had to pay instead of getting paid.
 
2022-12-03 7:25:45 PM  

Yaw String: Don't forget screaming children. Unless it's a Virgin cruise.


Or the random water just crashing through the window and killing you.
 
2022-12-03 7:27:03 PM  

claytonemery: kabloink: Cruises seem like a nightmare to me. I'm an introvert that also has claustrophobia. All those people stuck together with no where to go to escape them unless you hide in your room. Ugh!

Sameul Johnson said something like, "Going to sea is like going to prison, with the added danger of drowning."


I totally misread that and was wondering why he didn't say MOTHER farkER once.
 
2022-12-03 7:32:46 PM  
I went on an Alaskan cruise in 2012.  If you really going for the 'I wonder what it feels like being a herded sheep" feeling, it's great.  Alaska itself was awesome.  The cruise itself is great in one of the following situations:

1) You're with some significant other and you just want to have sex the entire time you're not on an excursion
2) You have young kids and want to do family stuff
3) You're really old and want to do old people things
4) You're just looking to hook up a bunch of times

Otherwise, it doesn't have a lot going for it.  I wasn't in a position to do any of those four things.  Plus, I got sick and was out of commission two days.
 
2022-12-03 7:34:51 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-03 7:44:19 PM  
I prefer to site benders in my very own living room, thanks.
 
2022-12-03 7:44:43 PM  
I'm going on a cruise next month. No worries here
 
2022-12-03 7:45:05 PM  

jmr61: Rene ala Carte: Not even if they were free.

You sound poor.


...a perfect time for me to toss this into the discussion...
Bill Burr Cruise Ship Routine
Youtube p-VLyZyHkTU

 
2022-12-03 7:45:52 PM  
Maybe subby needs to get off food stamps and welfare, don't need to be rich to go on a cruise.
 
2022-12-03 7:52:09 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: I have absolutely no intention of ever going on a cruise.  There is nothing whatsoever appealing about them.


To you.  It's almost like different people like different things!!
I actually just booked one today, 50% off and free booze package as part of an extended cyber Monday deal.
For me it's a very relaxing vacation.  Once your on the ship there is not travel, no choices really I just do whatever I want, that and I love the ocean.  I could sit on the top deck and watch it for days.

Other times I like vacations with action, rides etc like hiking or skiing but sometimes I need to just do nothing but watch the ocean and drink for a week.

You don't like them that's fine, there is plenty of stuff I don't like but don't feel the need to shun something just because I dont like it.

Then again this is fark where everyone hates everything except beer and caturday.
 
2022-12-03 7:52:39 PM  
After working at Carnival for a month, getting "guests" off the ship and on, I have no desire to ever go on a cruise.

I asked a guy this morning how the cruise went, and he responded "I've lost a lot of faith in humanity."
 
2022-12-03 7:53:21 PM  

rudolphojones424: Maybe subby needs to get off food stamps and welfare, don't need to be rich to go on a cruise.


This.  Most people on the cruise I was on probably were in the $40k-$70k and seemed like it was probably the only trip they'll take in the year.
 
2022-12-03 7:55:20 PM  
I just got back from a two week vacation traveling from Italy to Greece on a 7 day cruise. The cruise was an amazing way to relax and see a few more locations in between  our 13 thousand steps a day hikes.

/Staying in Monemvasia was pure bliss!
 
2022-12-03 7:55:49 PM  

Creoena: I went on an Alaskan cruise in 2012.  If you really going for the 'I wonder what it feels like being a herded sheep" feeling, it's great.  Alaska itself was awesome.  The cruise itself is great in one of the following situations:

1) You're with some significant other and you just want to have sex the entire time you're not on an excursion
2) You have young kids and want to do family stuff
3) You're really old and want to do old people things
4) You're just looking to hook up a bunch of times

Otherwise, it doesn't have a lot going for it.  I wasn't in a position to do any of those four things.  Plus, I got sick and was out of commission two days.


So good for just about everyone.  I have been on 3 cruises and have never felt like being herded like sheep except when you get on and off... here is a tip, leave late and come back early and avoid the crowds.   8 billion people on a planet where 71% is covered with water.  There are going to be lines at just about anything you want to do that is even remotely interesting to the masses unless your rich
 
2022-12-03 7:56:57 PM  

kabloink: Cruises seem like a nightmare to me. I'm an introvert that also has claustrophobia. All those people stuck together with no where to go to escape them unless you hide in your room. Ugh!

[Fark user image image 283x279]


I think I would enjoy a cruise if I were a brazilianaire.  The service first class passengers got was outstanding sounding, and I assume improvements have been made.

Other than that, the lower class experience I could afford sounds like being stuck in a hotel with no door. You don't really need to leave a nice hotel to enjoy yourself, but it's nice to have the option. Especially a "family friendly" one.
 
2022-12-03 7:57:59 PM  
Airplane 2 - The Love Boat
Youtube JPvag43XbgQ
 
2022-12-03 7:59:07 PM  
I really enjoyed the cruise I went on, I'd do it again.

I'm pretty much immune to anything though.
 
2022-12-03 8:00:53 PM  
leeksfromchichis:

first class passengers on the Titanic and its sister vessels.  And these days the boats float better and they avoid icebergs!
 
2022-12-03 8:04:23 PM  

leeksfromchichis: leeksfromchichis:

first class passengers on the Titanic and its sister vessels.  And these days the boats float better and they avoid icebergs!


That's b/c we're melting all the icebergs w/ fossil fuels!
 
2022-12-03 8:05:31 PM  

rudolphojones424: Maybe subby needs to get off food stamps and welfare, don't need to be rich to go on a cruise.


I just booked one today to Alaska.  50% off, free drink package, 150 minutes wifi which I will not use, $50 per person per port for excursions and buy1 get 1 free flight.  $2500 for 2 for a balcony suite and 1 600 flight.
Definitely not for the rich.
 
2022-12-03 8:17:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/Cruises - not even once.
//Over a decade in the navy and I still find cruises... 'wrong'.
 
2022-12-03 8:30:40 PM  
HI from Juneau.  If you cruise to Alaska, you'll probably stop in my town.
Carnival Miracle undocking 7-31-21
Youtube 8vb3dPSLsBk
 
2022-12-03 8:30:56 PM  

Yaw String: Don't forget screaming children. Unless it's a Virgin cruise.


There's a youth pastor joke in here but I'm not touching anything.

Unlike a youth pastor.
 
2022-12-03 8:38:15 PM  

goodluckwiththat: optikeye: The Best "host Hotels" prices I can find for Dragon Con. Is around 280 a night...with mandatory 4 night stay.
So, around 1200 for the weekend. And that does not include meals, luggage handling, or testical fondling . Or complimentary buffet.

And unlike a cruise, if you get a balcony room with a view for megabucks a night....when you open the window and step outside....YOU'RE NOT IN ATLANTA.

But in dragoncon you can still brush butts with smelly dudes fighting over duncan doughnuts and first edition X-Men comics.

why would I ever want to brush butts with smelly dudes?


Apparently so you can bond over your shared juvenalia fetish.
 
2022-12-03 8:39:13 PM  
it was filled with teenagers, and 20-somethings who appeared to be drinking their body weight. I've never seen so many neon bikinis. Our fellow cruisers were loud, chatty, and gave me a headache.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-03 8:42:21 PM  
I caught Legionnaires at a very nice hotel in Gatlinburg Tennessee that a huge indoor pool with a huge hot tub right next to it and a small water park. Take both times I had rona add together multiply by 10. I literally though I was going to die. I was drowning slowly. Was in ICU 11 days.
 
2022-12-03 8:43:36 PM  

optikeye: Yeah...much like Comicon. Dragoncon.
Or a Fark Party


The beer is better at a Fark party.
 
2022-12-03 8:48:45 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: I have absolutely no intention of ever going on a cruise.  There is nothing whatsoever appealing about them.


There is no more efficient way to visit exotic ports of call and get a t-shirt from the local Hard Rock Cafe.
 
2022-12-03 8:49:42 PM  
Cruise ships always make me fantasize about a U-Boat full of 100 year olds still roaming around out there.
 
Displayed 50 of 83 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.