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(CNN)   The crypto beatings will continue until morale improves   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Cryptography, .hack, Contract, Encryption, Twitter, Key, number of crypto tokens Friday, Ankr's loyalty token aBNBc  
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1442 clicks; posted to Business » on 02 Dec 2022 at 3:35 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-12-02 3:24:18 PM  
Why is this a problem? It's the sanctity of contract. SANCTITY OF CONTRACT LIVE FREE OR DIE
 
2022-12-02 3:33:42 PM  
Good.
 
2022-12-02 3:37:00 PM  
Code is law. Few understand
 
2022-12-02 3:43:58 PM  
Is this good or bad for bitcoin?
 
2022-12-02 3:51:06 PM  
The hacker minted 6,000,000,000,000,000 tokens. And you thought Jerome Powell was bad.
 
2022-12-02 3:54:35 PM  
Should have used a cole slawlet.
 
2022-12-02 4:10:14 PM  

the_rhino: Is this good or bad for bitcoin?


Everything is good for bitcoin.

Like this: random, no-name cryptocurrency gets hacked? It just means fewer people will buy shiatcoins in the future and will instead go back to bitcoin.
 
2022-12-02 4:11:30 PM  
Repeat after me:

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

That's how countless crypto stories have gone for years now.

Why the fark is anybody still putting money into this, then acting surprised when the next big headline makes their crypto holdings become worthless?? How are people this farking stupid?

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

Worst of all,. form the guys runnijg the show this is a feature, not a bug
 
2022-12-02 4:21:36 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: Repeat after me:

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

That's how countless crypto stories have gone for years now.

Why the fark is anybody still putting money into this, then acting surprised when the next big headline makes their crypto holdings become worthless?? How are people this farking stupid?

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

Worst of all,. form the guys runnijg the show this is a feature, not a bug


Bro Let me tell you about my new coin. It's lit. It's got a picture of a titmouse on the website.

Fark user imageView Full Size


I call it tittycoin.  Gonna be bigger than doge.
 
2022-12-02 4:31:31 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: Repeat after me:

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

That's how countless crypto stories have gone for years now.

Why the fark is anybody still putting money into this, then acting surprised when the next big headline makes their crypto holdings become worthless?? How are people this farking stupid?

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

Worst of all,. form the guys runnijg the show this is a feature, not a bug


How many of these hacks are by the people who wrote the code?
 
2022-12-02 4:48:21 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size


I could watch Crypto Bros lose their fortunes over and over to scammers all day long
 
2022-12-02 5:59:48 PM  
I think it's funny that the persistent sales mantra among bitcoin bulls is 'decentralization!'. Meanwhile the only way this thing can survive is some sort of centralized regulatory agency.
 
2022-12-02 6:14:25 PM  
You exchange Tokens for Credits

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 6:47:38 PM  

soopey: ChibiDebuHage: Repeat after me:

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

That's how countless crypto stories have gone for years now.

Why the fark is anybody still putting money into this, then acting surprised when the next big headline makes their crypto holdings become worthless?? How are people this farking stupid?

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

Worst of all,. form the guys runnijg the show this is a feature, not a bug

Bro Let me tell you about my new coin. It's lit. It's got a picture of a titmouse on the website.

[Fark user image 425x283]

I call it tittycoin.  Gonna be bigger than doge.


I got one better.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 6:52:32 PM  

HighlanderRPI: You exchange Tokens for Credits

[Fark user image image 850x478]


Digital Peggy, I've been waiting for my coin transaction to process for 30 minutes. I am tenacious like bull. You like that.

/Hold please
 
2022-12-02 6:58:11 PM  

Mr. Tweedy: soopey: ChibiDebuHage: Repeat after me:

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

That's how countless crypto stories have gone for years now.

Why the fark is anybody still putting money into this, then acting surprised when the next big headline makes their crypto holdings become worthless?? How are people this farking stupid?

""A hacker managed to exploit a vulnerability in the code of crypto bridge/lender/exchange/token/contract  ______"

Worst of all,. form the guys runnijg the show this is a feature, not a bug

Bro Let me tell you about my new coin. It's lit. It's got a picture of a titmouse on the website.

[Fark user image 425x283]

I call it tittycoin.  Gonna be bigger than doge.

I got one better.

[Fark user image image 850x647]


Whatever. Already working on my next ICO.

pawtracks.comView Full Size


WienerCoin!
 
2022-12-02 7:09:50 PM  

the_rhino: Is this good or bad for bitcoin?


Bitcoin is up almost $1,000 in the last few days, somehow, so I'm gonna say... maybe?
 
2022-12-02 7:43:10 PM  

Phil McKraken: The hacker minted 6,000,000,000,000,000 tokens. And you thought Jerome Powell was bad.


He's maybe 0.5 Bernakes.
 
2022-12-02 7:58:44 PM  
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2022-12-02 8:10:18 PM  

centrifugal bumblepuppy: [Fark user image image 640x704]


Start getting all your advice from that guy.
 
2022-12-02 8:17:07 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 8:37:34 PM  

Phil McKraken: The hacker minted 6,000,000,000,000,000 tokens. And you thought Jerome Powell was bad.


If you can spend $50 in gas and mint 6 trillion more of something; i'm gonna go ahead and say that it wasn't worth anything in the first place
 
2022-12-02 8:58:24 PM  
"Initial analysis is developer private key was hacked, and the hacker updated the smart contract to a more malicious one,"


Not "updated to a malicious one", it was "updated to a more malicious one"
 
2022-12-02 9:41:41 PM  

pacified: Code is law. Few understand


One of the funniest things that I've ever read about in crypto was investors in some shiatcoin demanding that the founder "honor the smart contract."
 
2022-12-02 10:24:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size



/creepy coin is goona buttsex
 
2022-12-02 11:56:31 PM  

hardinparamedic: [i.imgflip.com image 850x564]

I could watch Crypto Bros lose their fortunes over and over to scammers all day long


That's my new NFT
 
2022-12-03 1:35:04 AM  

Yankees Team Gynecologist: pacified: Code is law. Few understand

One of the funniest things that I've ever read about in crypto was investors in some shiatcoin demanding that the founder "honor the smart contract."


"Smart contact" is an amazing marketing ploy for something whose correct name could be "ha ha we can unilaterally change the rules at any time by inserting the rule that says we can change the rules at any time and oh by the way you've just given us permission to empty your entire wallet."
 
2022-12-03 1:55:06 AM  
FTA: "Initial analysis is developer private key was hacked

Hahahaha. First, hacking a developer anything should never give access to anything in production. It's utterly  absurd unless you want employees to be able to steal from you.

Second, if private keys could be hacked then billions could be stolen from traditional finance. The computing power to hack a private key is so ginormous it would take millions of dollars worth of hardware many years. Public/private key encryption even in free versions like PGP is , unlike your mom, impregnable.

The statement is so many levels of stupid.
 
2022-12-03 2:12:36 AM  

mofa: Yankees Team Gynecologist: pacified: Code is law. Few understand

One of the funniest things that I've ever read about in crypto was investors in some shiatcoin demanding that the founder "honor the smart contract."

"Smart contact" is an amazing marketing ploy for something whose correct name could be "ha ha we can unilaterally change the rules at any time by inserting the rule that says we can change the rules at any time and oh by the way you've just given us permission to empty your entire wallet."


That's optional. Some contracts can't be modified once deployed, and will only ever operate according to the documented algorithms. Which is either good or bad depending on how bug-free it happens to be.
 
2022-12-03 2:49:22 AM  

scanman61: "Initial analysis is developer private key was hacked, and the hacker updated the smart contract to a more malicious one,"


Not "updated to a malicious one", it was "updated to a more malicious one"


Yeah, I noticed that too.
 
2022-12-03 7:23:43 AM  
I believe ~99% of these constant crypto company "hacks" where money suddenly disappears boil down to old-fashioned thievery  by people within the company.

This is what vultures picking at a carcass looks like.
 
2022-12-03 7:27:16 AM  

mofa: Yankees Team Gynecologist: pacified: Code is law. Few understand

One of the funniest things that I've ever read about in crypto was investors in some shiatcoin demanding that the founder "honor the smart contract."

"Smart contact" is an amazing marketing ploy for something whose correct name could be "ha ha we can unilaterally change the rules at any time by inserting the rule that says we can change the rules at any time and oh by the way you've just given us permission to empty your entire wallet."


Isn't that the basis of most rugpulls?
 
2022-12-03 9:29:40 AM  
Visiting r/CryptoCurrency can make you overdose on schadenfreude. Also apparently Sam Bankman-Fried now says he "misaccounted" about $8 Billion. With a B. Can happen to anybody.
 
2022-12-03 9:43:10 AM  
How's that decentralization working out?
 
2022-12-03 11:13:53 AM  

TappingTheVein: Visiting r/CryptoCurrency can make you overdose on schadenfreude. Also apparently Sam Bankman-Fried now says he "misaccounted" about $8 Billion. With a B. Can happen to anybody.


*looks*

Wow, that is an incredible hive of conspiracy theorism, barely-disguised panic, "this is fine"-style denialism, and occasional wailing & gnashing of teeth.

I love how they collectively can't decide whether SBF is a hero destroyed by the regulatory deep state or a collaborator with The Fed who schemed with them to destroy crypto from the inside.

These same people who wanted to escape regulation are now to a man (and they're all @&#%ing male douchebros) absolutely furious the regulators haven't preserved their crypto valuations for them.
 
2022-12-03 12:45:24 PM  

GregInIndy: I believe ~99% of these constant crypto company "hacks" where money suddenly disappears boil down to old-fashioned thievery  by people within the company.

This is what vultures picking at a carcass looks like.


I would not be shocked if that was the plan from the beginning.
1) Get money thru any means necessary, fake loans, sell synthetic shares, etc
2) Do the money laundering thing
3) Get caught, disband around a fall guy
4) Archivist steals all of whatever assets are left
5) 10 years later, it gets parceled out and airdropped to the people who disbanded.
 
2022-12-03 8:16:16 PM  
Haha, every farking time.
 
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