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(Daily Mail)   Vladimir Poopin   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: News  
•       •       •

7694 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Dec 2022 at 11:29 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



218 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-12-02 10:40:32 AM  
A frail old fascist named Vlad
Banged up his coccyx real bad
He fell in his manse
And shiat in his pants
But none of this happened, comrade.
 
2022-12-02 10:44:31 AM  
The fact that the incident's details even made it out of his inner circle is quite telling.

He's rapidly losing power and the oligarchs are sick of losing their billions, and have enough influence over the people around Vlad to influence his hasty exit either from power or from life itself.

A coalition of oligarchs could approach key members of Putin's detail and tell them that if Vlad had a nasty accident and slipped on his tea, they'll each get $25,000,000.
 
2022-12-02 10:45:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 10:46:47 AM  
99.9999999% of the time I will not take pleasure at someone dealing with cancer and falling down the stairs and soiling themselves.

Putin definitely falls in that 0.0000001%.

I hope he laid there for hours in his own filth screaming "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
 
2022-12-02 10:52:17 AM  
I must say that there are few more fitting deaths for Putin than an accidental fall.
 
2022-12-02 10:59:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


This might just be the first act in the 3-part "Ukraine war resolved by Putin's death" production. Might solve some problems?
 
2022-12-02 11:11:03 AM  
th.bing.comView Full Size


Time to die.
 
2022-12-02 11:16:11 AM  
(╯°□°)╯┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻
 
2022-12-02 11:17:30 AM  
The Russian shiat has invaded the pants, time to launch the nuclear farts. Mutually assured defecation!
 
2022-12-02 11:31:08 AM  
I hope it was extremely painful.

Hope he's still in pain.
 
2022-12-02 11:31:50 AM  
He'll probably start walking in to doors next, maybe fall out a window.

Is clumsy old man.
 
2022-12-02 11:31:58 AM  
So, a Tuesday at any random Farker's house?
 
2022-12-02 11:32:04 AM  
Impressive.  

Not many Russian leaders these days manage to survive falling down the stairs.
 
2022-12-02 11:32:11 AM  
Russian leader bruised his coccyx as he slipped down seven steps, reports say

He bruised his what?
 
2022-12-02 11:32:30 AM  

This Is Bold Text: I must say that there are few more fitting deaths for Putin than an accidental fall.


Needs more windows.
 
2022-12-02 11:32:47 AM  
I hope there's a Death of Stalin style farce produced about this in 2075
 
2022-12-02 11:32:51 AM  
media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 11:33:01 AM  

Psychopusher: A frail old fascist named Vlad
Banged up his coccyx real bad
He fell in his manse
And shiat in his pants
But none of this happened, comrade.


You get a "you magnificent bastard" award.
 
2022-12-02 11:33:19 AM  
This is the level of dignity I want from Russia's leaders.
 
2022-12-02 11:33:24 AM  
Are we honestly linking to pure speculation? Ooooh a telegram channel, it must be accurate!
 
2022-12-02 11:33:27 AM  
May he feel like he's got a large pinecone halfway lodged in his butt for the remainder of his days.
 
2022-12-02 11:33:33 AM  

scottydoesntknow: 99.9999999% of the time I will not take pleasure at someone dealing with cancer and falling down the stairs and soiling themselves.

Putin definitely falls in that 0.0000001%.

I hope he laid there for hours in his own filth screaming "I've fallen and I can't get up!"


I may take no pleasure in his illness - but I want it to stop him from doing what he is doing.
 
2022-12-02 11:33:35 AM  
He's fine. He's in peak healt---


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 11:33:43 AM  
On himself for a change.
 
2022-12-02 11:33:58 AM  

pornopose: Are we honestly linking to pure speculation?


First time here?
 
2022-12-02 11:34:06 AM  
Since this was the Daily Fail, I now doubt the existence of stairs, Putin and poop.
 
2022-12-02 11:34:31 AM  
bruised his coccyx

Oh god. If this is true, he'll be wearing one of those ass donuts for a few weeks.

If you kick someone in the coccyx, their bowels are going to relax involuntarily.
 
2022-12-02 11:34:36 AM  
Sort of a good describes his Ukraine invasion.
 
2022-12-02 11:34:43 AM  
I generally don't wish death on anyone but for Putin I'll make an exception. That flight of stairs really let us down.
 
2022-12-02 11:34:47 AM  

markie_farkie: The fact that the incident's details even made it out of his inner circle is quite telling.


Yeah, and if any of it is true, a bodyguard or two is about to die. The consequences always happen to the wrong person.
 
2022-12-02 11:34:50 AM  
Could not have happened to a better person.  I fully endorse this to continue.
 
2022-12-02 11:34:52 AM  

freakdiablo: Russian leader bruised his coccyx as he slipped down seven steps, reports say

He bruised his what?


Landed on his ass, and bruised his tailbone.
 
2022-12-02 11:35:18 AM  
Even if these stories aren't true, I hope he's aware every time one of them is printed because he will know that there will be some number of people reading these who will believe every word.

This story for example: He's going to know that there are hundreds or thousands of people in the world who will read this and totally believe that he fell down some stairs and shiat his pants on the journey.

And there's not a goddam thing he can do about it.
 
2022-12-02 11:35:55 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 11:36:00 AM  
How are we sure this isn't something someone claiming to be on the inside made up?

Hearing that his health is failing that hard and that his inner circle might be turning on him sounds too good to be true.
 
2022-12-02 11:36:07 AM  
In Soviet Russia, pants shiat you!
 
2022-12-02 11:36:15 AM  
Also, he blows goats
I have proof

/I don't
/neither do they
 
2022-12-02 11:36:19 AM  

freakdiablo: Russian leader bruised his coccyx as he slipped down seven steps, reports say

He bruised his what?


"Tailbone", colloquially. A bruise would have been painful.

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: I hope it was extremely painful.

Hope he's still in pain.


Same. If true, this is happy news. If it's a fable, it's embarrassing nevertheless and still fun to imagine it happening.
 
2022-12-02 11:36:22 AM  

markie_farkie: The fact that the incident's details even made it out of his inner circle is quite telling.


Assuming it happened and because it's being reported by the Daily Mail it means Putin may not even exist.
 
2022-12-02 11:36:32 AM  
I'm starting to like these Russian stairs.
 
2022-12-02 11:36:33 AM  
Too good to be true, something that humiliates Putin and makes him look weak/frail actually became public knowledge, and it's the Mail reporting it?  Yeah, I don't buy this as legit just yet.
 
2022-12-02 11:36:34 AM  
Dumb and Dumberer - Bob Saget funny bathroom poop scene (HD)
Youtube ohlW9SbhLzc
 
2022-12-02 11:37:09 AM  
Of all of the ways I'd have wanted Putin to leave this ethereal realm, shamefully dying of ass cancer while dropping grogans involuntarily ranks amongst the top.
 
2022-12-02 11:37:18 AM  
UKRAINE IS PROTECTED. PUTIN MUST GO DOWN THE STAIRS.
 
2022-12-02 11:37:49 AM  
Lol. Are we at the war propaganda stage where we are literally calling the guy "poppy pants?"
 
2022-12-02 11:37:51 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 11:37:51 AM  
Great behinds think alike.

snopes.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 11:37:55 AM  

extrafancy: Sort of a good describes his Ukraine invasion.


I can typing.
 
2022-12-02 11:38:39 AM  
I'm Putin!

I'M PUTIN!
 
2022-12-02 11:39:16 AM  

Psychopusher: A frail old fascist named Vlad
Banged up his coccyx real bad
He fell in his manse
And shiat in his pants
But none of this happened, comrade.


Kudos.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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