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(NJ.com)   Carjacking falls flat after trio fails to notice that the car they are swiping was waiting for a tire change   (nj.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Automobile, deflated trio of carjackers, Rayj Durant, Walgreens parking lot Wednesday, flat tire, Carjacking, Hazma Williams, Gordons Corner Road  
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1834 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2022 at 6:35 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-12-01 6:43:20 PM  
Some guys tried to steal my truck out of the Home Depot parking lot.

They didn't know the reason it was still parked there was because it wouldn't start, due to an intermittent electrical short which would drain the battery.

I walked right up on them. They kept trying to start it all the way until I was damn near in their faces yelling at them, "won't start, will it farkers? Sucks, doesn't it farkers?"

They ran away. Cops didn't care, of course.
 
2022-12-01 7:04:09 PM  

Another one of them varmits: Some guys tried to steal my truck out of the Home Depot parking lot.

They didn't know the reason it was still parked there was because it wouldn't start, due to an intermittent electrical short which would drain the battery.

I walked right up on them. They kept trying to start it all the way until I was damn near in their faces yelling at them, "won't start, will it farkers? Sucks, doesn't it farkers?"

They ran away. Cops didn't care, of course.


Be glad they ran - coulda gone in other directions.  Frustrated thieves sometimes aren't the best dynamite monkeys to taunt

/depending on which perspective you define "best" from I suppose
 
2022-12-01 7:12:49 PM  
i.etsystatic.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-01 7:46:30 PM  
Hey, they only had to get it a few blocks to the flea market, and then it would have blended in with every other fenced good there.
 
2022-12-01 7:50:57 PM  

Another one of them varmits: Some guys tried to steal my truck out of the Home Depot parking lot.

They didn't know the reason it was still parked there was because it wouldn't start, due to an intermittent electrical short which would drain the battery.

I walked right up on them. They kept trying to start it all the way until I was damn near in their faces yelling at them, "won't start, will it farkers? Sucks, doesn't it farkers?"

They ran away. Cops didn't care, of course.


I once owned a $200 car with damage on all four sides. (Bought it for one easy payment.) The father of my buddy that did the damage was a pro mechanic that it hummed mechanically past 200,000 miles. Loved that car! I always got a lot of space on the road and in parking lots--could leave the keys in it anywhere.

(Made a few bucks when I junked it!)
 
2022-12-01 8:15:59 PM  
im.ezgif.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-01 8:20:20 PM  

LineNoise: Hey, they only had to get it a few blocks to the flea market, and then it would have blended in with every other fenced good there.


But they ran up Gordon's Corner instead... I'm actually surprised they made it as far as the temple.
 
2022-12-01 8:26:06 PM  

damageddude: LineNoise: Hey, they only had to get it a few blocks to the flea market, and then it would have blended in with every other fenced good there.

But they ran up Gordon's Corner instead... I'm actually surprised they made it as far as the temple.


Maybe they couldn't go to the flea market because it wasn't sunday Sunday SUNDAY!
 
2022-12-01 8:34:02 PM  

H31N0US: damageddude: LineNoise: Hey, they only had to get it a few blocks to the flea market, and then it would have blended in with every other fenced good there.

But they ran up Gordon's Corner instead... I'm actually surprised they made it as far as the temple.

Maybe they couldn't go to the flea market because it wasn't sunday Sunday SUNDAY!


Truck-a-saurus was scheduled to be there, and don't want to mess with him.

Whats going on with the raceway these days? I know they stopped doing the regular events like they did in the past (used to run my mustang down there in the 90s, like all good jersey boys do).
 
2022-12-01 8:39:30 PM  

LineNoise: H31N0US: damageddude: LineNoise: Hey, they only had to get it a few blocks to the flea market, and then it would have blended in with every other fenced good there.

But they ran up Gordon's Corner instead... I'm actually surprised they made it as far as the temple.

Maybe they couldn't go to the flea market because it wasn't sunday Sunday SUNDAY!

Truck-a-saurus was scheduled to be there, and don't want to mess with him.

Whats going on with the raceway these days? I know they stopped doing the regular events like they did in the past (used to run my mustang down there in the 90s, like all good jersey boys do).


Don't know. Went there a couple times in high school because a friend of mine raced his KTM there sometimes and the squad would go out and represent.

I sometimes take 539 up from LBI to avoid GSP traffic, almost always on Sunday, and it's never open. I think some developer bought it and is having trouble getting permits to do what they want.

So, Jersey stuff, mostly.
 
2022-12-01 8:42:32 PM  

H31N0US: I sometimes take 539 up from LBI to avoid GSP traffic, almost always on Sunday, and it's never open. I think some developer bought it and is having trouble getting permits to do what they want.


yeah i know they ran into trouble with the town for noise stuff, and some of the crowd they attracted (as if you could class up that part of Monmouth county), and pulled back on what they did. I heard talk that they were going to just do bikes, or maybe a road course or something along those lines at the time.

On one hand its a shame, it was cool having a place like that where you could have some fun, but holy shiat the people it attracted (myself at the time included).
 
2022-12-01 8:45:18 PM  

LineNoise: H31N0US: I sometimes take 539 up from LBI to avoid GSP traffic, almost always on Sunday, and it's never open. I think some developer bought it and is having trouble getting permits to do what they want.

yeah i know they ran into trouble with the town for noise stuff, and some of the crowd they attracted (as if you could class up that part of Monmouth county), and pulled back on what they did. I heard talk that they were going to just do bikes, or maybe a road course or something along those lines at the time.

On one hand its a shame, it was cool having a place like that where you could have some fun, but holy shiat the people it attracted (myself at the time included).


There's always Limerock.  I had a Mitsu VR-4 in the 90s and the guys at work used to try to get me to go beat on my car there. I never did.
 
2022-12-01 8:48:53 PM  

LordOfThePings: [im.ezgif.com image 500x834]


Labor laws - it's illegal for fire someone for performing their assigned duties
 
2022-12-01 8:52:48 PM  

H31N0US: I had a Mitsu VR-4 in the 90s and the guys at work used to try to get me to go beat on my car there. I never did.


I'm pretty sure you could still find parts of my differential on the track at englishtown from a Mustang vs Camaro night down there, 20+ years later.

No worries though, i had another shiatty one back in it a week later out of the Summit catalog.
 
2022-12-01 8:53:26 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: LordOfThePings: [im.ezgif.com image 500x834]

Labor laws - it's illegal for fire someone for performing their assigned duties


Call it a layoff.
 
2022-12-01 8:59:54 PM  
Englishtown...Manalapan

Carjackers take their chances in Monmouth county. In all likelihood a given car will have a flat tire, a dead battery or be out of gas.
 
2022-12-01 9:05:42 PM  

LordOfThePings: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: LordOfThePings: [im.ezgif.com image 500x834]

Labor laws - it's illegal for fire someone for performing their assigned duties

Call it a layoff.


Downsizing.  "Sorry the criminal market is oversaturated atm..."
 
2022-12-01 9:12:47 PM  

jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]


I only drive three on a tree.
 
2022-12-01 9:15:22 PM  

jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-01 9:18:46 PM  

Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]


....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?
 
2022-12-01 9:43:41 PM  

raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?


I think that's the joke.
 
2022-12-01 9:46:44 PM  

raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?


Probably not, but the first time I saw a VW Bug I think young me got confused because the diagram on the shifter was a bunch of slashies.
 
2022-12-01 9:54:11 PM  

knbwhite: raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?

Probably not, but the first time I saw a VW Bug I think young me got confused because the diagram on the shifter was a bunch of slashies.


I've told the story before, but i taught a friend to drive stick, about a week before he went to eastern europe and had to drive one for the first time.

I neglected to mention how not all cars use the same shift pattern. He couldn't speak czech, let alone read it, so the manual and whatever it said on the stick wasn't of help.

So he assumed, "Hey, its like 2000, I'm in eastern europe....maybe Reverse just hasn't got here yet.

And spent the better part of a week driving a car planning every move knowing he needed gravity, or getting out and pushing, to back up, to the amusement of the locals.
 
2022-12-01 9:56:47 PM  

raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?


The R is in the wrong spot, in mine it's where the 6 is.
 
2022-12-01 9:58:27 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?

I think that's the joke.


The guy follows those instructions to jerk off and never gets anywhere.
 
2022-12-01 9:58:36 PM  

pirviii: raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?

The R is in the wrong spot, in mine it's where the 6 is.


The joke is, while the R isn't in a crazy place for some brands\years, the rest of the pattern is wrong on every car. So its like you want to sound like you know what you are talking about based off one little factoid you know, which is, like the kind of person who would get a tattoo like that....which makes it meta....

I think? Or is that the joke? Man my head hurts.
 
2022-12-01 10:10:11 PM  

LineNoise: knbwhite: raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?

Probably not, but the first time I saw a VW Bug I think young me got confused because the diagram on the shifter was a bunch of slashies.

I've told the story before, but i taught a friend to drive stick, about a week before he went to eastern europe and had to drive one for the first time.

I neglected to mention how not all cars use the same shift pattern. He couldn't speak czech, let alone read it, so the manual and whatever it said on the stick wasn't of help.

So he assumed, "Hey, its like 2000, I'm in eastern europe....maybe Reverse just hasn't got here yet.

And spent the better part of a week driving a car planning every move knowing he needed gravity, or getting out and pushing, to back up, to the amusement of the locals.


Sounds like he figured it out. Man, when I was stationed in England I had a standard shift left hand drive van, a standard shift right hand drive VW, and a motorcycle. Got used to it.
 
2022-12-01 10:12:55 PM  
"COME ON, SH*THEAD, LET'S GO!"
 
2022-12-01 10:15:24 PM  

LineNoise: knbwhite: raygundan: Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]

....has anything ever built used that pattern?  Ever?

Probably not, but the first time I saw a VW Bug I think young me got confused because the diagram on the shifter was a bunch of slashies.

I've told the story before, but i taught a friend to drive stick, about a week before he went to eastern europe and had to drive one for the first time.

I neglected to mention how not all cars use the same shift pattern. He couldn't speak czech, let alone read it, so the manual and whatever it said on the stick wasn't of help.

So he assumed, "Hey, its like 2000, I'm in eastern europe....maybe Reverse just hasn't got here yet.

And spent the better part of a week driving a car planning every move knowing he needed gravity, or getting out and pushing, to back up, to the amusement of the locals.


He waz supposed to put it in H.
 
2022-12-01 10:25:31 PM  
puffy999:

Simpsons did it?
 
2022-12-01 10:58:17 PM  
Luckily tractors, farm trucks, combines and dirt bikes all had manuals when I was growing up.  So I guess I'm qualified to steal anything now.
 
2022-12-01 11:11:23 PM  

jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]


Cool. But I want a version that jumbles which gear is in which location. Don't want to provide guidance to thieves.
 
2022-12-01 11:14:17 PM  

Raider_dad: jtown: [i.etsystatic.com image 340x270]

[Fark user image image 370x497]


... yes, like this.
 
2022-12-01 11:16:44 PM  

emonk: Luckily tractors, farm trucks, combines and dirt bikes all had manuals when I was growing up.  So I guess I'm qualified to steal anything now.


Yeah?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-02 5:35:59 AM  

Another one of them varmits: Some guys tried to steal my truck out of the Home Depot parking lot.

They didn't know the reason it was still parked there was because it wouldn't start, due to an intermittent electrical short which would drain the battery.

I walked right up on them. They kept trying to start it all the way until I was damn near in their faces yelling at them, "won't start, will it farkers? Sucks, doesn't it farkers?"

They ran away. Cops didn't care, of course.


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/please do tell, it has alot of rust does it? And your proud of it.
 
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