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(Tasting Table)   Bartending red flag drinks. Okay Farkers, who is guilty of ordering any of these?   (tastingtable.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Cocktail, Bartender, Vodka, Alcoholic beverage, red flags, Gin, most seasoned drinker, Distilled beverage  
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932 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 01 Dec 2022 at 2:50 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-12-01 3:57:33 AM  
I do appreciate that this

Fark user imageView Full Size


was followed almost immediately by this.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-12-01 3:58:58 AM  
ALASKAN POLAR BEAR HEATER
Youtube -jfvHBFRk9Q
 
2022-12-01 4:42:29 AM  
5 Nightmare Drinks ordered by actual humans | How to Drink
Youtube YX-Vhm_7r5U
 
2022-12-01 4:43:59 AM  
Oops that was the second.  Here's the first
4 Insane Drinks Ordered by Real People | How to Drink
Youtube jozdlXQW_eA
 
2022-12-01 5:30:34 AM  
Whatever. Beer please.
 
2022-12-01 5:41:57 AM  
Jack and Coke, and I don't mean the soda
 
2022-12-01 6:14:16 AM  
Used to know a guy who'd always order Spanish Coffee no matter how busy or understaffed the bar was. He'd then get all offended when some swamped bartender didn't want to get out the special stemware, make a fresh pot of coffee, and use a flame to heat up the glass while 25 other people waited to order normal drinks.
 
2022-12-01 6:19:08 AM  
I called two before looking at the article--Long Island Iced Tea and Vodka Red Bull.  The rest aren't red flags in that sense but just drinks that bartender doesn't like making or had a weird pet peeve about like OJ and vodka.
 
2022-12-01 6:23:07 AM  
I take the cucumber bruised.

cdn.pastemagazine.comView Full Size
 
2022-12-01 7:27:56 AM  
I disagree with "top shelf vodka" in a bloody marry. Not because I think top shelf is fancy.
But because often the bar brand is farken ARISTOCRAT vodka. Filthy, filthy nasty stuff. Whose skanky taste of embalming fluid fights it's way to the surface of any drink. Same with their Rum.
 
2022-12-01 7:44:04 AM  
Mea culpa, I have ordered Long Island Iced Tea.

But, in my defense, I hadn't turned 21 yet and I was a moron.
And it got you really farked up, a lot faster than beer.
 
2022-12-01 7:45:29 AM  
Bourbon, neat, double.
 
2022-12-01 7:53:16 AM  
Am I the only one that reads these bar tending articles and just read it as:

1) Actual thing to know about
2) Old timey thing that doesn't get made anymore
3-11) Bartender just hates doing their job and rolls their eyes when anyone orders anything more complex than a beer
 
2022-12-01 7:58:29 AM  
 
2022-12-01 7:59:41 AM  

Klivian: Am I the only one that reads these bar tending articles and just read it as:

1) Actual thing to know about
2) Old timey thing that doesn't get made anymore
3-11) Bartender just hates doing their job and rolls their eyes when anyone orders anything more complex than a beer


You're not the only one. My thoughts were that most of these are here because they're a pain in the ass to make.
 
2022-12-01 7:59:42 AM  
Back when I was drinking a friend and I went into a fancy bourbon bar in Chicago. Sat for a while and drank 5 or 6 nice bourbons, chatted with the bartender. As we were wrapping up the bartender asked if we wanted anything else and I blank faced said ' how about an appletini?' He looked stunned, started stammering, 'well, I don't know if we have the stuff...' until I couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. He looked so relieved. We left a nice tip.
 
2022-12-01 8:58:40 AM  
bartenders are insufferable coonts who expect to be tipped for opening a beer or pouring a shot
 
2022-12-01 9:09:11 AM  
Any body ever heard of a Hop-skip?

Its like an LI Iced tea.
 
2022-12-01 9:16:26 AM  

Klivian: Am I the only one that reads these bar tending articles and just read it as:

1) Actual thing to know about
2) Old timey thing that doesn't get made anymore
3-11) Bartender just hates doing their job and rolls their eyes when anyone orders anything more complex than a beer


Back in my drinking days, my Supreme strategy for a night.

Buy 3 beers. Tip $1. That's a 1/3rd tip.

Switch to 2 fancy drinks, which is a legitimate $1 tip. You drink gets made first, because you are worth the time.
 
2022-12-01 9:42:41 AM  
In the Battletech universe their were sci-fi books written on the subject and one of them described the drinks the mech jockeys would drink called PPCs. The drink consisted of two shots of grain alcohol flavored 1 a shot of regular liquor. Each of the five houses had its own variation. For example House Steiner would have 2 shots of grain and one shot of vodka, etc.

Naturally we incorporated this into our table top game nights.
 
2022-12-01 9:48:12 AM  
Pina Colada's were the worst. We were a sports bar and not equipped to make them properly, still had em on the menu thanks to the cokehead owner and managers, and they were frequently (but not frequently enough to make it efficient) ordered due to being next to the beach. Pain in the ass to clean the blender afterwords, and almost universally the Pina Colada customers were poor tippers and bad drunks.

Cement Mixers are pranks friends would try to pull on eachother, and we wouldn't serve them inside.

You'd be giving us your keys before getting a long island ice-tea.

Ordering top-shelf anything in a mixed drink was great. Those people were usually trying to impress someone and tipped well.

I didn't serve drinks long enough to get so snooty/bitter that I'd have a problem with someone ordering OJ and vodka, or any other drink 'in the wrong order'. You're not a "Mixologist" or a misunderstood artist, you're a socially acceptable drug dealer.

Mocktail is a silly name. Just ask for a cocktail without the alcohol, and get props for being a designated driver.

Also glad I wasn't bartending when red bull and vodka became a thing.
 
2022-12-01 9:53:11 AM  

Barricaded Gunman: Used to know a guy who'd always order Spanish Coffee no matter how busy or understaffed the bar was. He'd then get all offended when some swamped bartender didn't want to get out the special stemware, make a fresh pot of coffee, and use a flame to heat up the glass while 25 other people waited to order normal drinks.


on busy nights, our blender was broken more often than a McDonald's ice cream machine

/don't order drinks that take five minutes to make in a crowded bar
 
2022-12-01 9:58:03 AM  

Random Celebrity Insult Generator: Barricaded Gunman: Used to know a guy who'd always order Spanish Coffee no matter how busy or understaffed the bar was. He'd then get all offended when some swamped bartender didn't want to get out the special stemware, make a fresh pot of coffee, and use a flame to heat up the glass while 25 other people waited to order normal drinks.

on busy nights, our blender was broken more often than a McDonald's ice cream machine

/don't order drinks that take five minutes to make in a crowded bar


Me, just realizing now thanks to your comment, that I could have said the blender was broken.

🤦‍♂
 
2022-12-01 10:13:35 AM  
I used to drink Long Islands as my "one or two and done" drink.

But then again I had a much higher tolerance at the time, and I'd usually space them out if I was having more than one.

/these days it's just rum
//other half stopped letting me mix my own Long Islands at home parties for somereason.
 
2022-12-01 11:09:12 AM  
LOL, my pet peeve is the stupid Guinness "perfect" pour. Why would I want  to stare at my beer sitting under a tap for 10 minutes while you make 50 other drinks?  It can settle just as easily where I can reach it. I've literally turned around and walked out of bars when they wont straight pour my beer. I don't give a shiat about what some ridiculous ad campaign says. Are you serving it from a wooden barrel? No? Then STFU and hand me my beer.
 
2022-12-01 11:12:50 AM  
Any old Ohio Staters may recall a little bar on north campus called the Black Forest Inn. They had a drink called the Black Forest Fire: shot of 151 rum, shot of 151 tequila, and a splash of Tobasco sauce. Never tried it, too much respect for my esophagus and stomach lining.

/The only mixed drink that I've ever specified the booze brand in are martinis.
 
2022-12-01 11:12:54 AM  
in the form of a 22-year-old with a pension for showing off while throwing down a Flaming Dr. Pepper.

Hey, if you can get a pension these days you're super lucky. Even better at 22, and still better if you can get it just for drinking.

Clearly the author meant a PENDANT for showing off. Because you get a medal. Idiot.
 
2022-12-01 11:19:07 AM  
Ok, WTF is a "red flag" drink? I was assuming it was a list of complicated drinks that bartenders hate to make, and in a couple of those listed that seems to be the case, but not in all of them.

The first one was the Angle Shot, which is code for women in need of help, ok, I guess that qualifies as a type of "red flag".

They go onto the long island ice tea, which any bartender with 3 months experience and easily make. They explain the drinks disputed origin, and how it's high alcohol content packs a punch. So which part of that is the "red flag"?

The last drink on the list is a farkin screwdriver, and seems to only be listed because some people call it "Orange juice and vodka" and the author apparently thinks it should be "vodka and orange juice" instead.

I'm starting to think the author used the term "Red Flag" as pure click-bait.
 
2022-12-01 11:48:39 AM  
Author needs to look up what "red flag" means.
Most of those drinks were just stupid, disgusting, or complicated.
 
2022-12-01 12:17:41 PM  

PoweredByIrony: in the form of a 22-year-old with a pension for showing off while throwing down a Flaming Dr. Pepper.

Hey, if you can get a pension these days you're super lucky. Even better at 22, and still better if you can get it just for drinking.

Clearly the author meant a PENDANT for showing off. Because you get a medal. Idiot.


The word you're looking for is PENITENT

/22 year old with a pension for drinking sounds like a Wisconsin thing
 
2022-12-01 12:36:06 PM  
adj_m:
Ordering top-shelf anything in a mixed drink was great. Those people were usually trying to impress someone and tipped well.

csb time:

Waitress: "Do you want something from the bar?"
Me: "I'll have a bourbon and ginger ale."
Waitress: "Any particular bourbon?"
Me: "I just ordered a bourbon and ginger ale.  Do I sound like someone who cares what bourbon I get?"

/ yes, I know the drink has a name - it's a screwdriver, right?
// and yes, I know I might have sounded a bit dickish in my response
/// but, in my defense, I had been drinking
//// and I gave her a good tip
 
2022-12-01 12:39:03 PM  
List is lame.

I was expecting things like a group of college kids ordering irish car bombs or something.

/I do love me an irish car bomb every once in awhile.
//When others order them, next to me, I move.
///Rule of three....
 
2022-12-01 12:51:23 PM  
When you order your Long Island Iced Tea order it "extra long" and then wink at the bartender.

/you'll thank me later
 
2022-12-01 1:09:06 PM  

LordBeavis: I called two before looking at the article--Long Island Iced Tea and Vodka Red Bull.  The rest aren't red flags in that sense but just drinks that bartender doesn't like making or had a weird pet peeve about like OJ and vodka.


Back in my younger days I used to make good economic use of happy hour LI iced teas, a good way to get staggering fast.
 
2022-12-01 1:10:12 PM  

RogermcAllen: When you order your Long Island Iced Tea order it "extra long" and then wink at the bartender.

/you'll thank me later


I don't like the sound of that at all, no sir.
 
2022-12-01 2:29:45 PM  
How about a Chicago Handshake?
 
2022-12-01 2:32:32 PM  

kmfjd: bartenders are insufferable coonts who expect to be tipped for opening a beer or pouring a shot


You forgot the spit. You're the type of person who drinks a lot of saliva.
 
2022-12-01 2:56:27 PM  
How to tell me you're thinking of running for congress without telling me you're thinking of running for congress.
 
2022-12-01 3:09:33 PM  

Clash City Farker: In the Battletech universe their were sci-fi books written on the subject and one of them described the drinks the mech jockeys would drink called PPCs. The drink consisted of two shots of grain alcohol flavored 1 a shot of regular liquor.


Heh, when I was a teen in NC, we used to dilute our white lightning with schnapps.  Lemon schnapps was the least offensive... but harder to find.  Most people went with peach, but I hate artificial peach flavor.

The most disgusting was root beer, followed closely by cinnamon.

I gave up trying to like any of it, and just drizzle a half an ounce of the 'shine over a glass of ice, and sip the melt.
 
2022-12-01 3:30:38 PM  

Slypork: How about a Chicago Handshake?


Fark user imageView Full Size

Ugh... Malört...
 
2022-12-01 4:43:33 PM  
Every bar in Edmonton can somehow manage to get their hands on a bottle of this:
cdn.shopify.comView Full Size

What the heck is so complicated about it? An ounce is an ounce is an ounce. 
(well, 30 ml.)
 
2022-12-01 4:43:53 PM  
Sh*t People Say to Bartenders
Youtube McMWRA4Tzw0
 
2022-12-01 5:03:37 PM  

LL316: kmfjd: bartenders are insufferable coonts who expect to be tipped for opening a beer or pouring a shot

You forgot the spit. You're the type of person who drinks a lot of saliva.


found one, they just can't help themselves
 
2022-12-01 5:31:21 PM  

Needlessly Complicated: Slypork: How about a Chicago Handshake?

[Fark user image 425x263] [View Full Size image _x_]
Ugh... Malört...


My son brought some home for Thanksgiving for me to try. He poured shots for about 6 of us. Everyone made the patented Malort faces...except me. It wasn't the best thing I've ever tasted but it was definitely not the worst. He dared me and I had a second shot. Now I know I can win a bar bet.
 
2022-12-01 6:03:32 PM  

Slypork: Needlessly Complicated: Slypork: How about a Chicago Handshake?

[Fark user image 425x263] [View Full Size image _x_]
Ugh... Malört...

My son brought some home for Thanksgiving for me to try. He poured shots for about 6 of us. Everyone made the patented Malort faces...except me. It wasn't the best thing I've ever tasted but it was definitely not the worst. He dared me and I had a second shot. Now I know I can win a bar bet.


Yeah, I tried it once. It actually wasn't THAT bad. Tasted like some kind of grapefruit liqueur with an insanely bitter aftertaste. I'm not in a hurry to drink more but it's not the most awful thing I've ever tasted.

The way people described it, it honestly sounded like it would be more like fermented sewage with a side of vomit.

Now, Miller High Life... I think that  actually tasted worse.
 
2022-12-02 6:39:40 AM  

moresugar: adj_m:
Ordering top-shelf anything in a mixed drink was great. Those people were usually trying to impress someone and tipped well.

csb time:

Waitress: "Do you want something from the bar?"
Me: "I'll have a bourbon and ginger ale."
Waitress: "Any particular bourbon?"
Me: "I just ordered a bourbon and ginger ale.  Do I sound like someone who cares what bourbon I get?"

/ yes, I know the drink has a name - it's a screwdriver, right?
// and yes, I know I might have sounded a bit dickish in my response
/// but, in my defense, I had been drinking
//// and I gave her a good tip


"Table 4 wants a top shelf bourbon with a ginger ale"

;)
 
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