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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.  

Had a great visit to extreme northern Chicago.  I did not miss driving in Chicago holiday traffic at all.  Storm handled a little under half of the trip, which was awesome - I worked in the car on the way up.  Got to see Dill on the way up at Strange Brew Coffee - he set me up with a large nitro that kept me wide awake for the next 48 hours.  Did not get to see Dill on the way back, because as expected at least one of the eight cousins brought a contagion for Thanksgiving.  Ended up being not COVID, but it involves a cough that lingers for two weeks.  And only Sierra caught it.  No idea why the rest of us didn't.  

Storm's heading up to check out Carnegie Mellon this weekend, so I'm home with the other two.  No big plans here, probably will play some games with them or check out new anime.  By the way, "Spy × Family" is so good I can recommend it sight unseen.  Super tight writing, great concept, highly recommended.  

Speaking of holiday stuff, check out the Farketplace - Farkers who own small businesses are showing off their wares, definitely check their stuff out.  Also we've got the 2022 Fark Fiction Anthology as well.    

No Fark News Livestream this week - the news cycle is exceptionally slow, unfortunately.  Everyone was hungover from the holiday weekend, I guess.  We should be back next week, however!

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End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Cake Hunter had an idea for Twitter
Farking Clown Shoes summed up how patrons were able to stop the Club Q shooter
shinji3i enhanced a game with some realistic struggles
SBinRR had questions about the rescue of a cruise ship passenger who fell overboard
edmo revealed the point a man proved by robbing a bank with a note written on his birth certificate while wearing an ankle monitor
fragMasterFlash reacted to Wil Wheaton's takedown of Elon Musk
snowblur had faint praise for Trump
khitsicker knew why it's especially stupid to attack an LGBTQ club
Bootleg argued that there was one good reason why Musk shouldn't have ended Twitter's business with some law firms
Johnson figured a Lyft driver who preaches to passengers would appreciate this trade

Smart:
Marcus Aurelius had a take on why Elon Musk seems to be making terrible decisions with Twitter
null considered how Musk ended up in this position
NewportBarGuy looked at some reasons why shoppers weren't waiting to trample each other for doorbuster deals
danvon noticed that Musk can be somewhat inconsistent
edmo found this one weird trick that Colorado kids can use to get rid of teachers they don't like
snowblur gave credit for SpaceX's successes
firefly212 shared stories about cops not being helpful when hate crimes are reported to them
kbronsito had an idea for American Automobile Association's marketing
Magorn told us how one neighborhood addressed hate crimes

CSB Sunday Morning theme: What is your claim to fame?
Smart: freddyV helped get a federal law changed
Funny: Rent Party broke the Navy's swear jar

Politics Funny:
dionysusaur spelled out why you don't want to borrow Chuck Grassley's vacuum cleaner
hugram had information about Nick Fuentes' background
Pocket Ninja was shocked that a certain group would become violent
Nah'mean knew why Donald Trump didn't want House Democrats to gain access to his tax records
bloobeary helped a fellow Farker who wanted to understand a letter from the special counsel in investigations into Trump

Politics Smart:
Sorelian's Ghost tried to figure out what Lauren Boebert meant when she said that Ron DeSantis is "America's governor"
bostonguy pointed out that the Republican Party is consistent
mrshowrules had suggestions for conversation topics over holiday meals
NotCodger defended Herschel Walker
KingBiefWhistle explained why the "false flag" narrative for mass shootings arose


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba earned a few dollars
Yammering_Splat_Vector's luge partner was out of uniform
artifishy revealed the true architects of the pyramids
RedZoneTuba found a promotional opportunity for Dick Butt
whatsupchuck showed us that these beach benches have a secret function
RedZoneTuba redid the Paramount logo
samsquatch had famous men ignoring each other
zeon made a haunting version of the 2022 World Cup mascot
samsquatch put this famous pig in "Vertigo"
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed how Popeye gets his clothes to fit over his arms and legs

Farktography theme: Thanksgiving
MorningBreath was thankful for a very good and pretty girl


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Elderly couple attacked at Elton John concert two nights earlier than is alright

When hot dog vendors go to war, there can only be one wiener

The Merriam-Webster word of the day for November 22 is leonine, as in "The most significant catholic prelate of the middle ages was Pope Leonine"

Was it over when the Germans got bombed at Pearl Harbor?

Walker, Texas Resident

Doctors admit to faking the COVID outbreak to manipulate government and military

To be honest, my dad's the governor and I think you should greenlight this submission

I don't think Planters really thought this one through

The first labor strike took place over 3,000 years ago in Egypt. Workers were striking for better pay, better conditions and not being forced to walk sideways all the time

WhatsApp leaks data of 500 million users. That's Meta

China builds a 26-story building. The tenants are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives

Cham-WOW


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although I'm still a bit confused as to the idea behind naming your catering service meant for charity events anything to do with "swamp." On the Quiz itself, no one made it to the 1000 club, which means I'm stuck eating fried shrimp and catfish by my lonesome. Denjiro came out on top with 980, followed by Cake Hunter in second with 933 and SecondaryControl in third with 892. No Catchy Nickname made fourth with 887, and Glockenspiel Hero made it into the top 5 with 853.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the word "depredation" and how it's used in the fishing industry. Only 20% of quiztakers caught the article about the company attempting to prevent depredation by lacing fishing nets with capsaicin extract and knew that the word referred to predator animals stealing catch from nets. I'm thinking the company didn't count on the dolphins liking the new spicy flavored shrimp. Maybe next time lace it with something that doesn't taste good, like Waffle House when you haven't been drinking.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which country's players declined to sing their national anthem at the 2022 World Bribery Cup. 86% of quiztakers knew that the Iranian players decided to sit this one out in solidarity with the protests against the hardline Islamic rule in their country, which kind of makes the 9 minutes of stoppage time yesterday seem a bit sympathetic to what they're gonna have to go through upon their return. Hopefully they'll be met on the tarmac by thousands of screaming fans waving their hijabs in support of their courage and good play. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what product Heinz UK was bringing back out of retirement. Only 34% of quiztakers caught the article about the return of Heinz Beanz Pizza after being discontinued 19 years ago. I don't know what to say about a country that puts baked beans on pizza, other than this is the same country that thinks baked beans are part of a complete breakfast. I'm of the opinion that the only reason they brought it back is because of Brexit, as the EU must have said "Hell no" to that.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which artist's ticket sales have prompted a long overdue investigation into Ticketmaster and Live Nation. 96% of quiztakers knew that the botched rollout of tickets for Taylor Swift's latest tour have prompted the Department of Justice to look into possible antitrust violations. Personally I've never trusted Ticketmaster, but I'm all in favor of anything that will let me see my favorite artist without paying a crapload of money to a middleman who can't even name any of their number one hits. Also, how long until Taylor Swift is dating Pete Davidson?

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it again on Friday.