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(Self Magazine)   Step 1: Realize how much better you are than everyone else, then post in the comments   (self.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Thought, Rage, Feeling, Anger, science of anger, self-directed anger, self-recrimination, awful way  
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1036 clicks; posted to STEM » on 30 Nov 2022 at 2:50 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-30 2:20:47 PM  
I'm better than many, worse than a significant number of others.

But love myself unconditionally almost every day, and two times on Saturday.
 
2022-11-30 3:11:18 PM  
*walks in, sees headline*

Welp....

*walks right back out again*
 
2022-11-30 3:11:52 PM  
Human Resource - Dominator (Beltram Mix)
Youtube tgf2W3dmglo
 
2022-11-30 3:20:54 PM  
While reading the article I thought "wow, this author needs therapy" but I guess that was kinda the point?

Every once in a while something floats up out of the vault of deep memory to make me cringe and feel a little guilty before I resolve to do better next time and get on with my day.  Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.
 
2022-11-30 3:21:19 PM  
Harry and Paul - The Apprentice 'Better Than You'
Youtube VD529ONAICU
Historical Apprentice - YouTube
 
2022-11-30 3:21:45 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 3:21:48 PM  

wingedkat: While reading the article I thought "wow, this author needs therapy" but I guess that was kinda the point?

Every once in a while something floats up out of the vault of deep memory to make me cringe and feel a little guilty before I resolve to do better next time and get on with my day.  Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.


Hmm, and I guess I walked into that.  Well done subby.
 
2022-11-30 3:35:09 PM  

wingedkat: Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.


No, it's not.

If I could be any other way I would.

I've been "stuck" since I was a child.

There is no therapy.
 
2022-11-30 3:49:21 PM  
whats the external not internal focused version of this?  where you look back on things that happened in the past and fantasize about how it would have been so incredibly enjoyable if, instead of doing the right thing and handling a stressful situation like an adult, you had violently murdered someone with a pair of scissors or run them over with your car?  b/c i do that semi-regularly.  specific people and instances back 15+ years.

i'm the most non-violent person ever in actual practice.  but its a happy place.
 
2022-11-30 4:37:38 PM  

wingedkat: While reading the article I thought "wow, this author needs therapy" but I guess that was kinda the point?

Every once in a while something floats up out of the vault of deep memory to make me cringe and feel a little guilty before I resolve to do better next time and get on with my day.  Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.


We are all born into this world as cringe.  Naked, wet, ignorant and crying.  The purpose of human existence is learning to either overcome or embrace the Original Cringe.
 
2022-11-30 4:38:42 PM  

Valter: wingedkat: Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.

No, it's not.

If I could be any other way I would.

I've been "stuck" since I was a child.

There is no therapy.


I don't know your truth

But the first time I remember wanting to die was at 6 years old. I started smoking weed and meth at 14. Many attempts and a few institutionalizations later. I still wanted to die. When I turned 18, I stopped the psych meds and moved out on my own. I went through every drug (except opioids) trying to find escape. Then I found my person. He help me see what I was missing. Eventually I quit the other drugs. I found a new way to view life. And one day many years later I woke up in the morning and didn't want to die.

I didn't think it was possible. But I am here now, living my best life. I thought I was stuck. I thought it was just the way I was. It wasn't. And I hope one day you can find peace too.
 
2022-11-30 4:40:43 PM  
Man, oh man, the fur that'd be flying if you so much as hinted at this article in TFD...
 
2022-11-30 4:55:51 PM  

wingedkat: While reading the article I thought "wow, this author needs therapy" but I guess that was kinda the point?

Every once in a while something floats up out of the vault of deep memory to make me cringe and feel a little guilty before I resolve to do better next time and get on with my day.  Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.


This is actually a very astute observation. In emotionally healthy families, children learn how to move on from difficult experiences.

In emotionally unskilled families, children do not learn how to move on. Rather, they typically notice that their mistakes result in disproportionately painful punishments and learn to ruminate on their mistakes in order to avoid future punishment.

So even though I as an adult know how to move on from cringeworthy mistakes, there's still a part of my brain that is a child who's afraid of my abusive father and makes it hard for me to move on. This is why I'm in therapy.
 
2022-11-30 5:52:13 PM  

wingedkat: While reading the article I thought "wow, this author needs therapy" but I guess that was kinda the point?


The biggest difference between having a wise teacher/mentor and a therapist is that you have to pay the therapist for the advice.
 
2022-11-30 6:20:07 PM  

Boudyro: I'm better than many, worse than a significant number of others.

But love myself unconditionally almost every day, and two times on Saturday.


Stuart Smalley - Daily Affirmations
Youtube 6ldAQ6Rh5ZI
 
2022-11-30 6:41:37 PM  

Boudyro: I'm better than many, worse than a significant number of others.

But love myself unconditionally almost every day, and two times on Saturday.


So on Saturday you use both hands?
 
2022-11-30 7:12:31 PM  

Fisty McLargebutt: wingedkat: While reading the article I thought "wow, this author needs therapy" but I guess that was kinda the point?

Every once in a while something floats up out of the vault of deep memory to make me cringe and feel a little guilty before I resolve to do better next time and get on with my day.  Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.

This is actually a very astute observation. In emotionally healthy families, children learn how to move on from difficult experiences.

In emotionally unskilled families, children do not learn how to move on. Rather, they typically notice that their mistakes result in disproportionately painful punishments and learn to ruminate on their mistakes in order to avoid future punishment.

So even though I as an adult know how to move on from cringeworthy mistakes, there's still a part of my brain that is a child who's afraid of my abusive father and makes it hard for me to move on. This is why I'm in therapy.


Do something right, no one remembers. Do something wrong, and it's brought up every night at dinner for years as to why you are a failure and are going to amount to nothing.

Jokes on them, I didn't die of stage 4 lung cancer that metastasized to the brain. But he ended up living to 84, so...uh...I don't have to listen to him anymore.
 
2022-11-30 9:59:55 PM  
i wouldn't answer this if you begged me
 
2022-11-30 11:58:17 PM  

Fisty McLargebutt: wingedkat: While reading the article I thought "wow, this author needs therapy" but I guess that was kinda the point?

Every once in a while something floats up out of the vault of deep memory to make me cringe and feel a little guilty before I resolve to do better next time and get on with my day.  Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.

This is actually a very astute observation. In emotionally healthy families, children learn how to move on from difficult experiences.

In emotionally unskilled families, children do not learn how to move on. Rather, they typically notice that their mistakes result in disproportionately painful punishments and learn to ruminate on their mistakes in order to avoid future punishment.

So even though I as an adult know how to move on from cringeworthy mistakes, there's still a part of my brain that is a child who's afraid of my abusive father and makes it hard for me to move on. This is why I'm in therapy.


After revisiting my comment, I realize I made it sound like it was easy to do.

It isn't, and I didn't mean to make it sound that way.  Sometimes it's a monumental task to push the memory and emotions back down.

I've learned to push it back with a lot of therapy and life experience.
 
2022-12-01 12:06:14 AM  

Valter: wingedkat: Dwelling and getting angry or upset is definitely not helpful.

No, it's not.

If I could be any other way I would.

I've been "stuck" since I was a child.

There is no therapy.


I know I made it sound easy, but it isn't, even when I'm in my best mindset.

I know very well that being depressed can make it feel impossible.

I've been stuck myself, unable to give up the anger and pain and guilt, unable to stop reliving the moment.

I learned to push it back and not dwell through pain and anger and a well, a lot of therapy.

I'm sorry I made it sound easy, that was wrong of me.

I hope you can find what you need to push back the memories and move on.
 
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