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(NJ.com)   Dear Miss Manners, my mom wants me to treat waiters as slaves and I want to treat them as people. Who's right?   (nj.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Waiting staff, DEAR MISS MANNERS, Domestic worker, Etiquette, GENTLE READER, service positions, well-mannered mother, Miss Manners  
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509 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Main » on 30 Nov 2022 at 10:20 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-30 8:42:19 AM  
Suggested response:

Fark user imageView Full Size


I didn't say that it was the right response.
 
2022-11-30 9:49:28 AM  
A night out for dinner is not a master/slave role playing game.
 
2022-11-30 10:35:53 AM  
Your mom wants you to beat the waitress?
/Is Balenciaga her favorite designer?
 
2022-11-30 10:36:11 AM  
I doubt this is true. Someone must want attention.
 
2022-11-30 10:37:49 AM  
Ok so let's say this story is true (it isn't) so this moron needed to write to someone to ask if being polite to another human was wrong.
 
2022-11-30 10:38:01 AM  
Be less nice to your mother.
 
2022-11-30 10:43:04 AM  
As Immanuel Kant said, "do not treat humans as a means, only as ends."

He also said: "biatch, I don't have time to listen to your life story.  Just bag my groceries, and don't put the bread at the bottom of the bag where it will get smooshed.  I'M WATCHING YOU!!"
 
2022-11-30 10:45:29 AM  
I wonder how much mucus the Mom has eaten over the years.
 
2022-11-30 10:55:20 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Ok so let's say this story is true (it isn't) so this moron needed to write to someone to ask if being polite to another human was wrong.


I see you've never worked in a restaurant before.
 
2022-11-30 11:07:49 AM  
As someone that worked in food service as a line cook and dishwasher, the proper nomenclature for a waiter is 'food biatch'.
 
2022-11-30 11:14:10 AM  
The one who doesn't get cum served in their food.
 
2022-11-30 11:15:30 AM  

Lambskincoat: A night out for dinner is not a master/slave role playing game.


Don't kink shame.
 
2022-11-30 11:17:53 AM  
The waiter is there to serve you food, not serve you.
 
2022-11-30 11:28:08 AM  

Lambskincoat: A night out for dinner is not a master/slave role playing game.


It sometimes is. Don't judge me.
 
2022-11-30 12:03:29 PM  

meanmutton: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Ok so let's say this story is true (it isn't) so this moron needed to write to someone to ask if being polite to another human was wrong.

I see you've never worked in a restaurant before.


Or in retail.  The two worst jobs I have ever held were waiting tables in a high end Italian restaurant and overnight clerk in a 24 hour Las Vegas gift shop.  Auditioning in Hollywood was less demeaning, and producers can be some real assholes.
 
2022-11-30 12:06:37 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Ok so let's say this story is true (it isn't) so this moron needed to write to someone to ask if being polite to another human was wrong.


Maybe not... If you went out with someone (like your mother), and this happened, you might want to biatch about it. But I don't see someone going on FB or Twitter to badmouth their own mother, since there are pretty strong odds that if mom isn't a follower, someone else that knows her is. So they decide to get their off of their chest, but as anonymous as possible.

I just say this because it would definitely piss me off enough to say something to someone else myself. Maybe this is just their way of venting, I don't know. But, having been a waiter, I definitely know that there are people who feel that waiters are actually part of "the staff", so this is nowhere near being out of the realm of possibility.
 
2022-11-30 12:12:34 PM  
Oh, and someone needs to advise Miss Manners that mixed metals in jewelry is actually in fashion.  Silver and copper is quite attractive, as is multiple colors of gold mixed together.
 
2022-11-30 12:14:24 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Ok so let's say this story is true (it isn't) so this moron needed to write to someone to ask if being polite to another human was wrong.


Even if the specific anecdote referenced in the article didn't happen, surely you're aware that people like this exist. The purpose of these columns isn't to make you believe this specific incident happened, but to illustrate a very common breach of social etiquette, and what you, the reader, can do to ensure you don't behave like the b*tch in the article.

Nobody actually thinks these are "real," and you're not intelligent for pointing it out.
 
2022-11-30 12:25:31 PM  
When my mom started with dementia, she was horrible to take out to a meal.  She'd tell the waitress that she'd be pretty if she lost some weight, or tell a waiter that his earrings made him look like a sissy, or tell them that their tattoo looked trashy.

We did a lot of takeout.
 
2022-11-30 12:27:40 PM  
Remind mom that she's months away from assisted living where she can go "Karen" on the staff without any consequences whatsoever!
'Enjoying that Depends arse sauté, battleaxe?'
 
2022-11-30 12:58:32 PM  

moresugar: As Immanuel Kant said, "do not treat humans as a means, only as ends."


Is that a translation from the German word for "bottoms"?
 
2022-11-30 1:42:00 PM  

moresugar: As Immanuel Kant said, "do not treat humans as a means, only as ends."


He was, they say, very rarely stable.
 
2022-11-30 2:08:46 PM  
Miss Manners shouldn't have hidden this wonderful single-sentence smack at the very end.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 2:11:18 PM  
Some people really don't seem to be happy unless they have someone to look down upon.
 
2022-11-30 2:32:12 PM  

Dodo David: Suggested response:

[Fark user image 640x333]

I didn't say that it was the right response.


But it is.
 
2022-11-30 2:58:25 PM  
DNRTFA, but any excuse for a CSB:

I'm rescuing my elderly dad from Florida after his sudden divorce.  My MAGA sister wants to go along, even though she's afraid of flying.  She kept being an asshole to everyone around us, the Uber drivers, the attendants on the planes, the TSA people, and I kept overtly apologizing to them and thanking them for doing their jobs well.

My sister told me "Ker_Thwap, I'm a strong, hard working woman, and the world isn't full of sunshine and light and you have to be strong if you don't want people to step all over you!"

On the way back she got overly drunk and medicated herself and lost her mind due to a missed flight, so apparently the moral to the story means that being a strong, hard working MAGA woman somehow involved getting wasted on a plane, screaming at the stewardess, running through the airport screaming "stop that plane!" and sobbing uncontrollably in a corner "about how she just wants to go home!"  I'm still a bit fuzzy on how it all works.
 
2022-11-30 3:19:36 PM  

Lambskincoat: A night out for dinner is not a master/slave role playing game.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 4:18:38 PM  

Ker_Thwap: My sister told me "Ker_Thwap, I'm a strong, hard working woman, and the world isn't full of sunshine and light and you have to be strong if you don't want people to step all over you!"


I may not be Al Capone, but it would be a bad idea to mistake my kindness for weakness.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 4:19:36 PM  

Schmerd1948: moresugar: As Immanuel Kant said, "do not treat humans as a means, only as ends."

Is that a translation from the German word for "bottoms"?


Nope, sorry.  He used "Zweck."

Zweck = end (as in "goal")
Hintern = end (as in "bottom")
 
2022-11-30 4:50:52 PM  

Ker_Thwap: DNRTFA, but any excuse for a CSB:

I'm rescuing my elderly dad from Florida after his sudden divorce.  My MAGA sister wants to go along, even though she's afraid of flying.  She kept being an asshole to everyone around us, the Uber drivers, the attendants on the planes, the TSA people, and I kept overtly apologizing to them and thanking them for doing their jobs well.

My sister told me "Ker_Thwap, I'm a strong, hard working woman, and the world isn't full of sunshine and light and you have to be strong if you don't want people to step all over you!"

On the way back she got overly drunk and medicated herself and lost her mind due to a missed flight, so apparently the moral to the story means that being a strong, hard working MAGA woman somehow involved getting wasted on a plane, screaming at the stewardess, running through the airport screaming "stop that plane!" and sobbing uncontrollably in a corner "about how she just wants to go home!"  I'm still a bit fuzzy on how it all works.


I would have been sorely tempted to ask her...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-11-30 6:04:25 PM  
My MiL is friendly to servers, but she can also get demanding. It's annoying and embarrassing, she'll yell across a restaurant to try getting their attention and then bark out that she wants something. I've tried to get her to stop but it's an old habit she just falls into. Especially if she's had a couple drinks.
 
2022-11-30 8:12:04 PM  

psychosis_inducing: Miss Manners shouldn't have hidden this wonderful single-sentence smack at the very end.

[Fark user image image 425x448]


english293.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

Sick burn, Duchess
 
2022-11-30 8:17:37 PM  

Ker_Thwap: DNRTFA, but any excuse for a CSB:

I'm rescuing my elderly dad from Florida after his sudden divorce.  My MAGA sister wants to go along, even though she's afraid of flying.  She kept being an asshole to everyone around us, the Uber drivers, the attendants on the planes, the TSA people, and I kept overtly apologizing to them and thanking them for doing their jobs well.

My sister told me "Ker_Thwap, I'm a strong, hard working woman, and the world isn't full of sunshine and light and you have to be strong if you don't want people to step all over you!"

On the way back she got overly drunk and medicated herself and lost her mind due to a missed flight, so apparently the moral to the story means that being a strong, hard working MAGA woman somehow involved getting wasted on a plane, screaming at the stewardess, running through the airport screaming "stop that plane!" and sobbing uncontrollably in a corner "about how she just wants to go home!"  I'm still a bit fuzzy on how it all works.


I was hoping being carried out by Air Marshalls was part of the story.
 
2022-11-30 9:29:01 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Ker_Thwap: DNRTFA, but any excuse for a CSB:

I'm rescuing my elderly dad from Florida after his sudden divorce.  My MAGA sister wants to go along, even though she's afraid of flying.  She kept being an asshole to everyone around us, the Uber drivers, the attendants on the planes, the TSA people, and I kept overtly apologizing to them and thanking them for doing their jobs well.

My sister told me "Ker_Thwap, I'm a strong, hard working woman, and the world isn't full of sunshine and light and you have to be strong if you don't want people to step all over you!"

On the way back she got overly drunk and medicated herself and lost her mind due to a missed flight, so apparently the moral to the story means that being a strong, hard working MAGA woman somehow involved getting wasted on a plane, screaming at the stewardess, running through the airport screaming "stop that plane!" and sobbing uncontrollably in a corner "about how she just wants to go home!"  I'm still a bit fuzzy on how it all works.

I was hoping being carried out by Air Marshalls was part of the story.


We're white.
 
2022-12-01 6:10:00 AM  

moresugar: As Immanuel Kant said, "do not treat humans as a means, only as ends."

He also said: "biatch, I don't have time to listen to your life story.  Just bag my groceries, and don't put the bread at the bottom of the bag where it will get smooshed.  I'M WATCHING YOU!!"



You think that's bad?  Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women!
 
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