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(Axios)   Absolutely nothing   (axios.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Virtual reality, chief metaverse officers, big companies, Dot-com bubble, talent agency CAA, Edwina Fitzmaurice, next big thing, F  
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1527 clicks; posted to Business » on 30 Nov 2022 at 10:20 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



26 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-11-30 10:23:56 AM  
The Metaverse is just like going outside of your house except it costs money to go there.  Welcome to the Future!
 
2022-11-30 10:32:26 AM  
Cashing their paychecks just fine.
 
2022-11-30 10:34:51 AM  
Say it Again!

/War!
//DRTFA
 
2022-11-30 10:40:15 AM  
I remember when 3D TVs were being developed and you'd read tech sites with leaks of supposed features and etc etc.

Then they were released to the masses, expecting massive fanfare for a revolutionary product that would change how consumers consumed media. And then no one bought them because it sucked and added nothing to the experience.

I also remember when they were hyping that standing cart thing the tourists in DC ride around. It's so pointless and ignored I don't even remember it's name.

Anyway, one day the "metaverse" will be added to that list. It's not going to fail because the tech is bad or shiat or there's no good use cases or ways to monetize it, because I think if the tech were good enough you could have some ways to monetize it. It's going to fail because I think people want a less immersive digital existence, not more. Dating apps are going out of favor, etc.

Also, the way these guys are positioning it, shows what's driving it. They're trying to integrate with blockchain and nfts and all that nonsense and people see the hustle and aren't buying the hype. It's like that recent episode of mythic quest where Dana explains people see the obvious cash grab and preemptively fark off.
 
2022-11-30 10:44:50 AM  

Cubansaltyballs: I also remember when they were hyping that standing cart thing the tourists in DC ride around. It's so pointless and ignored I don't even remember it's name.


The Segway.  It ended production a few years ago:

In January of 2001, a startup news website broke a huge technology story: A charismatic millionaire was secretly developing an incredible invention, one that would change the world, in his lab in New Hampshire. The news came via a leaked, secret book proposal, which had just sold to the academic publisher Harvard Business School Press for $250,000. Within hours, the story was everywhere.

The proposal quoted Steve Jobs saying the invention would be "as significant as the personal computer." Jeff Bezos said it was "revolutionary." But what was surprising about the book deal wasn't merely the praise the invention and its inventor, Dean Kamen, garnered from tech world luminaries. It wasn't merely the substantial investment the inventor had received from famed venture capitalist John Doerr, the largest in the firm Kleiner Perkins' history. What stood out most of all was the detail that Harvard was paying a quarter-million dollars for the book-and it didn't even know what the invention was. The inventor was paranoid about leaks, and the book's author withheld that information from the proposal. No one-not even the literary agent who had submitted the proposal to editors, swearing them to secrecy-knew what the invention was. All they knew was the single word of the book's title: IT.
 
2022-11-30 10:48:40 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Cubansaltyballs: I also remember when they were hyping that standing cart thing the tourists in DC ride around. It's so pointless and ignored I don't even remember it's name.

The Segway.  It ended production a few years ago:

In January of 2001, a startup news website broke a huge technology story: A charismatic millionaire was secretly developing an incredible invention, one that would change the world, in his lab in New Hampshire. The news came via a leaked, secret book proposal, which had just sold to the academic publisher Harvard Business School Press for $250,000. Within hours, the story was everywhere.

The proposal quoted Steve Jobs saying the invention would be "as significant as the personal computer." Jeff Bezos said it was "revolutionary." But what was surprising about the book deal wasn't merely the praise the invention and its inventor, Dean Kamen, garnered from tech world luminaries. It wasn't merely the substantial investment the inventor had received from famed venture capitalist John Doerr, the largest in the firm Kleiner Perkins' history. What stood out most of all was the detail that Harvard was paying a quarter-million dollars for the book-and it didn't even know what the invention was. The inventor was paranoid about leaks, and the book's author withheld that information from the proposal. No one-not even the literary agent who had submitted the proposal to editors, swearing them to secrecy-knew what the invention was. All they knew was the single word of the book's title: IT.


The most significant contribution to society that the Segway had was making everyone forget how to spell 'segue'.
 
2022-11-30 10:51:11 AM  

tricycleracer: The most significant contribution to society that the Segway had was making everyone forget how to spell 'segue'.


This is literally true for me.  I had heard that word, but never had seen it spelled.
 
2022-11-30 10:52:15 AM  
Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
Youtube GB7mHxdHlRY
 
2022-11-30 11:05:43 AM  
bLoCkcHaiN!
 
2022-11-30 11:06:34 AM  
The immersive net like snowcrash or neuromancer or whatever would be neat if weren't owned by a single entity. That would keep it inline with the supposed freedom for all aspect that todays internet is in the process of losing. Having the immersive net owned by Facebook would suck as all hell. I think it is funny that Google doesn't seem to be trying to compete. I guess Alphabet mgmt still remembers google+.
 
2022-11-30 11:07:46 AM  

McGrits: The immersive net like snowcrash or neuromancer or whatever would be neat if weren't owned by a single entity. That would keep it inline with the supposed freedom for all aspect that todays internet is in the process of losing. Having the immersive net owned by Facebook would suck as all hell. I think it is funny that Google doesn't seem to be trying to compete. I guess Alphabet mgmt still remembers google+.


The Matrix: An Alphabet Company
 
2022-11-30 11:16:35 AM  
How's Decentraland doing these days?
 
2022-11-30 11:26:02 AM  
The brand is garbage and it's owned by a robot. People are leaving social media in general because it's a toxic hell hole full of bots and spam.

I also don't want to have to buy a new computer every 2 years because they keep adding useless clutter to the VR "experience" and up the specs.
 
2022-11-30 12:36:50 PM  
Who needs the metaverse when zombo.com exists?
 
2022-11-30 12:44:30 PM  
I'm going to break this down for all of the slow kids in the back: Unless and until someone creates the Holodeck from Star Trek, if something like that is even physically possible, virtual reality will NEVER become a mainstream thing.  A niche market, maybe.

Nobody wants to wear those farking headsets, no matter how light or comfortable they get. This has already been tried way back in the 90's and it failed then. Better graphics and sound and an Internet connection don't solve the fundamental problem here.

Do something with lasers and holograms or jam a probe into my brain a la The Matrix. This shiat will never get off the ground as long as people have to put on the head gear.
 
2022-11-30 12:45:11 PM  
We haven't yet developed the metabro culture, so we're nowhere near peak metahype.
 
2022-11-30 12:51:42 PM  

mudesi: I'm going to break this down for all of the slow kids in the back: Unless and until someone creates the Holodeck from Star Trek, if something like that is even physically possible, virtual reality will NEVER become a mainstream thing.  A niche market, maybe.

Nobody wants to wear those farking headsets, no matter how light or comfortable they get. This has already been tried way back in the 90's and it failed then. Better graphics and sound and an Internet connection don't solve the fundamental problem here.

Do something with lasers and holograms or jam a probe into my brain a la The Matrix. This shiat will never get off the ground as long as people have to put on the head gear.


Ehhh... I think if someone can get them down to the size of a pair of sunglasses, even bulky ones, that would be an exceptionally popular product.  There are issues with focal distance with that, though and the solutions are tricky.
 
2022-11-30 12:55:40 PM  
They're trying to find each other in-game. It's really hard when your server only has 8 people
 
2022-11-30 1:15:04 PM  
In most corporations, tech especially, there are people who do things and people who plan things.
The planners always have to come up with something "new" to justify their paycheck. No judgment, just sayin'. Most of the "new" stuff isn't new, it's a slightly different, not necessarily better, way of doing shiat people have always done. Eating, communicating, entertainment, etc.

The people who actually build this shiat (the actual fabricators or factory people, the designers and people in charge of whatever "programming" is necessary to make this shiat work) are seen as easily replaced, as opposed to the "visionaries" who dream it up.

It's always seemed the exact opposite to me, that there's a surplus of assholes who think they have a great, visionary idea (LOL), while people who can actually make those often stupid ideas work well are hard to find.
 
2022-11-30 1:32:55 PM  

OptionC: mudesi: I'm going to break this down for all of the slow kids in the back: Unless and until someone creates the Holodeck from Star Trek, if something like that is even physically possible, virtual reality will NEVER become a mainstream thing.  A niche market, maybe.

Nobody wants to wear those farking headsets, no matter how light or comfortable they get. This has already been tried way back in the 90's and it failed then. Better graphics and sound and an Internet connection don't solve the fundamental problem here.

Do something with lasers and holograms or jam a probe into my brain a la The Matrix. This shiat will never get off the ground as long as people have to put on the head gear.

Ehhh... I think if someone can get them down to the size of a pair of sunglasses, even bulky ones, that would be an exceptionally popular product.  There are issues with focal distance with that, though and the solutions are tricky.


Wasn't that Google Glasses?
 
2022-11-30 1:34:53 PM  
The same thing every C-suite exec does, but without legs.
 
2022-11-30 1:53:10 PM  

ArkPanda: OptionC: mudesi: I'm going to break this down for all of the slow kids in the back: Unless and until someone creates the Holodeck from Star Trek, if something like that is even physically possible, virtual reality will NEVER become a mainstream thing.  A niche market, maybe.

Nobody wants to wear those farking headsets, no matter how light or comfortable they get. This has already been tried way back in the 90's and it failed then. Better graphics and sound and an Internet connection don't solve the fundamental problem here.

Do something with lasers and holograms or jam a probe into my brain a la The Matrix. This shiat will never get off the ground as long as people have to put on the head gear.

Ehhh... I think if someone can get them down to the size of a pair of sunglasses, even bulky ones, that would be an exceptionally popular product.  There are issues with focal distance with that, though and the solutions are tricky.

Wasn't that Google Glasses?


Google glass was more of a limited AR solution that could project a simple HUD onto the glasses.  I thought it was kind of cool and probably could have gone somewhere with the right scaling and marketing*, but very different than immersive VR.

*Sport glasses for cycling, running, golf, some-other-things that would project the info from my garmin onto my glasses would be incredibly useful as long as it didn't add substantial weight
 
2022-11-30 4:25:52 PM  

ArkPanda: McGrits: The immersive net like snowcrash or neuromancer or whatever would be neat if weren't owned by a single entity. That would keep it inline with the supposed freedom for all aspect that todays internet is in the process of losing. Having the immersive net owned by Facebook would suck as all hell. I think it is funny that Google doesn't seem to be trying to compete. I guess Alphabet mgmt still remembers google+.

The Matrix: An Alphabet Company


We're gonna find out in the lawsuits that all these other entities are being funded by Facebook to build out metaverse groups and hiding the money to make it seem like this is spontaneous grass roots interest in their brilliant idea.
 
2022-11-30 4:27:49 PM  

OptionC: mudesi: I'm going to break this down for all of the slow kids in the back: Unless and until someone creates the Holodeck from Star Trek, if something like that is even physically possible, virtual reality will NEVER become a mainstream thing.  A niche market, maybe.

Nobody wants to wear those farking headsets, no matter how light or comfortable they get. This has already been tried way back in the 90's and it failed then. Better graphics and sound and an Internet connection don't solve the fundamental problem here.

Do something with lasers and holograms or jam a probe into my brain a la The Matrix. This shiat will never get off the ground as long as people have to put on the head gear.

Ehhh... I think if someone can get them down to the size of a pair of sunglasses, even bulky ones, that would be an exceptionally popular product.  There are issues with focal distance with that, though and the solutions are tricky.


Look. Here's the idea that will make VR profitable.

VR headsets + porn + flashlight-like device

It's creepy and gross and weird and sad... and the only way to get 20-50m people using VR regularly.
 
2022-11-30 5:36:45 PM  
"I spent a year researching, learning, and now educating and bringing the team along because I see the metaverse and web3 technology as not only having fascinating consumer-facing applications, but also as an important part of creating value inside of organizations as tools that can impact all of our working functions," says Sebastian Brauer, head of metaverse and web3 at furniture retailer Crate & Barrel.

I could a case for where the 'metaverse' takes a scan of your room.  Then Crate&Barrel or whatever retailer lets you move objects around and replace it with stuff in their catalog.  The problem right now is people want this to be pretty photo realistics.  Instead what they get is Money for Nothing guys hauling off their virtual Coca-Cola refrigerators from your virtual Hello Kitty branded custom kitchen (available only to subscribers).
 
2022-11-30 10:22:42 PM  

csi_yellowknife: Say it Again!

/War!
//DRTFA


Good God, y'all!
 
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