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(Yahoo)   Woman tries to open airplane door mid-flight once she realizes she's going to Ohio   (yahoo.com) divider line
28
    More: Obvious, Flight attendant, Southwest Airlines flight, woman bit, flight attendant, 34-year-old woman, Airline, flight attendants, exit door  
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2835 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2022 at 5:25 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
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Mr. Coffee Nerves [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-30 6:12:03 AM  
34 votes:
Later, handing Jesus a $5, Satan chuckled "A bet is a bet. I didn't think you had it in you, dude."
 
Tom Marvolo Bombadil
2022-11-30 6:50:03 AM  
27 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
skinink [OhFark]
2022-11-30 5:35:45 AM  
25 votes:
"She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says."

What a jerk he is. He also told her to fly Southwest, and go to Ohio.
 
hegelsghost
2022-11-30 5:30:48 AM  
19 votes:
Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.
 
Pert
2022-11-30 6:40:27 AM  
17 votes:

hegelsghost: Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Unobtanium [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-30 5:40:41 AM  
16 votes:
Then the flight made an emergency landing in Little Rock, Arkansas, and officers arrested the woman.

Okay, she's suffered enough.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 6:19:04 AM  
14 votes:

Hoopy Frood: The woman faces two federal charges: assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction and interference with flight crew members and attendants.

Maritime?


Sure they were in the jet stream.
 
Gaythiest Elitist [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 8:14:50 AM  
14 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Rent Party
2022-11-30 6:57:52 AM  
11 votes:
Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says."

Jesus was simply trying to educate this poor soul on the laws of physics God created, and to which we are all subject.   The lesson plan was "Lady fights with door and learns about air pressure, fluid dynamics, and pressure vessel physics."   Once she was back in her seat, Jesus was going to explain the math about why she was unable to open the door in flight, so when she landed she could go through life with a whole new perspective and be a better person for it.

What Jesus didn't count on is that people who hear voices in their heads are farkin' crazy, and should be locked up for their own, and everyone else's safety.

/ Jesus told me all this
 
Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle
2022-11-30 7:36:52 AM  
9 votes:
F'ing Jesus - it's always love thy neighbour this and crash the airplane that.
 
MythDragon
2022-11-30 8:45:59 AM  
9 votes:
She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says.

Jesus has been a dick since he started stealing peoples heroin.
images.squarespace-cdn.comView Full Size
 
thealgorerhythm
2022-11-30 7:37:03 AM  
8 votes:

Ragin' Asian: This is a nightmare I relive. My grandfather was spiraling into dementia so I had to move him to the Philippines where he could get affordable 24 hour care. The 18 hour flight to Hong Kong was hell. The spitting on the floor and accosting attendants only scratched the surface. I dozed for a minute and the next thing I know, Papa was attempting to open the cabin door over the Pacific. Dementia doesn't take one's physical strength like Alzheimer's. Two other people were needed to wrestle him away.


Look on the bright side: you never had to take him to Ohio
 
thealgorerhythm
2022-11-30 5:37:12 AM  
7 votes:

hegelsghost: Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.


Maybe not. What if the original sermon on the mount was really some insane diatribe about blessing the cheesemakers and things got out of hand? These aren't very bright people.
 
Pants full of macaroni!! [BareFark]
2022-11-30 5:49:52 AM  
6 votes:
Wow, Ohio really dodged a bullet there, huh?
 
Gleeman [BareFark]
2022-11-30 6:32:32 AM  
6 votes:

Hoopy Frood: The woman faces two federal charges: assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction and interference with flight crew members and attendants.

Maritime?


Guess the court flag was fringed?
 
jtown
2022-11-30 10:02:16 AM  
4 votes:
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
TypoFlyspray
2022-11-30 11:42:35 AM  
4 votes:

Pert: hegelsghost: Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.

[Fark user image 425x319]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
dbirchall [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-30 11:25:12 AM  
3 votes:
Hope it wasn't because of this sign...

archive.jsonline.comView Full Size
 
Pextor
2022-11-30 6:15:54 AM  
2 votes:
There's nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain.
I really like Drew Carey, and I'd love to see the Rock and Roll hall of fame.
 
Hey Nurse! [OhFark]
2022-11-30 6:20:34 AM  
2 votes:

Pextor: There's nothing wrong with Ohio...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Flowery Twats
2022-11-30 7:47:42 AM  
2 votes:

Hoopy Frood: The woman faces two federal charges: assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction and interference with flight crew members and attendants.

Maritime?


Gold fringe around the door
 
Flowery Twats
2022-11-30 7:49:30 AM  
2 votes:

tuxq: Just in case anyone here ever faces this situation, it is not possible to open those doors until the cabin has been depressurized.
Let them fight with it, I recommend taking video to laugh at them later, but it's not happening.


I winder what her plans were after she got the door open?  That first step's a doozy.
 
KStDrew
2022-11-30 7:53:22 AM  
2 votes:
FTA: "The bitten passenger was taken to the hospital for antibiotics and a hepatitis shot, the complaint says."

What about rabies shot?
 
KarmicDisaster [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-30 10:20:29 AM  
2 votes:
What's her Truth Social handle?
 
JimbobMcClan
2022-11-30 8:17:53 AM  
1 vote:

Pextor: There's nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain.
I really like Drew Carey, and I'd love to see the Rock and Roll hall of fame.


Cleveland and Dayton are the only Brightspots.

Cleveland for the music scene, Dayton for all the Aviation museums and food
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 9:14:54 AM  
1 vote:

MythDragon: Jesus has been a dick since he started stealing peoples heroin.


Disturbing cartoon there. What makes me mad about it is that you don't see the guy in the black shirt's arm. At all. Not even from the shoulder. That's what disturbs me.

oh, and Jesus taking the shot? Not required. He has magic powers that can make him feel like he's on a dope trip 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He didn't need to steal it from the guy in the black shirt.
 
UNC_Samurai
2022-11-30 9:24:37 AM  
1 vote:
At least on Southwest, the crazy lady experience is free.  Delta would have charged people a fee for that.
 
farkitallletitend
2022-11-30 10:38:59 AM  
1 vote:

hegelsghost: Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.


Nahhh just the caliber of people.
 
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