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(Yahoo)   Woman tries to open airplane door mid-flight once she realizes she's going to Ohio   (yahoo.com) divider line
66
    More: Obvious, Flight attendant, Southwest Airlines flight, woman bit, flight attendant, 34-year-old woman, Airline, flight attendants, exit door  
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2836 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2022 at 5:25 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



66 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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hegelsghost
2022-11-30 5:30:48 AM  
Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.
 
ArcadianRefugee
2022-11-30 5:34:57 AM  
She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says.

Lady, when people tell you to do stupid things, you don't follow through, you say "Shut up, dick."
 
skinink [OhFark]
2022-11-30 5:35:45 AM  
"She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says."

What a jerk he is. He also told her to fly Southwest, and go to Ohio.
 
thealgorerhythm
2022-11-30 5:37:12 AM  

hegelsghost: Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.


Maybe not. What if the original sermon on the mount was really some insane diatribe about blessing the cheesemakers and things got out of hand? These aren't very bright people.
 
August11 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-30 5:38:50 AM  
She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says.

Imagine a heaven filled with this.
 
Unobtanium [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-30 5:40:41 AM  
Then the flight made an emergency landing in Little Rock, Arkansas, and officers arrested the woman.

Okay, she's suffered enough.
 
Pants full of macaroni!! [BareFark]
2022-11-30 5:49:52 AM  
Wow, Ohio really dodged a bullet there, huh?
 
Hoopy Frood
2022-11-30 6:01:08 AM  
The woman faces two federal charges: assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction and interference with flight crew members and attendants.

Maritime?
 
Mr. Coffee Nerves [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2022-11-30 6:12:03 AM  
Later, handing Jesus a $5, Satan chuckled "A bet is a bet. I didn't think you had it in you, dude."
 
Pextor
2022-11-30 6:15:54 AM  
There's nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain.
I really like Drew Carey, and I'd love to see the Rock and Roll hall of fame.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 6:19:04 AM  

Hoopy Frood: The woman faces two federal charges: assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction and interference with flight crew members and attendants.

Maritime?


Sure they were in the jet stream.
 
Hey Nurse! [OhFark]
2022-11-30 6:20:34 AM  

Pextor: There's nothing wrong with Ohio...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Gleeman [BareFark]
2022-11-30 6:32:32 AM  

Hoopy Frood: The woman faces two federal charges: assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction and interference with flight crew members and attendants.

Maritime?


Guess the court flag was fringed?
 
tuxq
2022-11-30 6:36:04 AM  
Just in case anyone here ever faces this situation, it is not possible to open those doors until the cabin has been depressurized.
Let them fight with it, I recommend taking video to laugh at them later, but it's not happening.
 
Diocletian's Last Cabbage [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 6:38:15 AM  
Having been to both states, I would think you would think that Ohio is a step up from Texas.  But you do you.
 
Pert
2022-11-30 6:40:27 AM  

hegelsghost: Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
punkwrestler
2022-11-30 6:44:01 AM  

skinink: "She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says."

What a jerk he is. He also told her to fly Southwest, and go to Ohio.


To be fair she was getting out of Texas....
 
punkwrestler
2022-11-30 6:45:53 AM  

thealgorerhythm: hegelsghost: Man, Jesus' advice has sure. gone downhill since the Sermon on the Mount days.

Maybe not. What if the original sermon on the mount was really some insane diatribe about blessing the cheesemakers and things got out of hand? These aren't very bright people.


That's just grate!
 
Muta
2022-11-30 6:48:59 AM  

punkwrestler: skinink: "She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says."

What a jerk he is. He also told her to fly Southwest, and go to Ohio.

To be fair she was getting out of Texas....


But ended up in Arkansas.
 
Tom Marvolo Bombadil
2022-11-30 6:50:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
soupafi
2022-11-30 6:54:06 AM  
Why do people freak out? You literally can't open the door
 
Rent Party
2022-11-30 6:57:52 AM  
Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says."

Jesus was simply trying to educate this poor soul on the laws of physics God created, and to which we are all subject.   The lesson plan was "Lady fights with door and learns about air pressure, fluid dynamics, and pressure vessel physics."   Once she was back in her seat, Jesus was going to explain the math about why she was unable to open the door in flight, so when she landed she could go through life with a whole new perspective and be a better person for it.

What Jesus didn't count on is that people who hear voices in their heads are farkin' crazy, and should be locked up for their own, and everyone else's safety.

/ Jesus told me all this
 
Ragin' Asian [recently expired TotalFark]
2022-11-30 7:06:00 AM  
This is a nightmare I relive. My grandfather was spiraling into dementia so I had to move him to the Philippines where he could get affordable 24 hour care. The 18 hour flight to Hong Kong was hell. The spitting on the floor and accosting attendants only scratched the surface. I dozed for a minute and the next thing I know, Papa was attempting to open the cabin door over the Pacific. Dementia doesn't take one's physical strength like Alzheimer's. Two other people were needed to wrestle him away.
 
Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle
2022-11-30 7:36:52 AM  
F'ing Jesus - it's always love thy neighbour this and crash the airplane that.
 
thealgorerhythm
2022-11-30 7:37:03 AM  

Ragin' Asian: This is a nightmare I relive. My grandfather was spiraling into dementia so I had to move him to the Philippines where he could get affordable 24 hour care. The 18 hour flight to Hong Kong was hell. The spitting on the floor and accosting attendants only scratched the surface. I dozed for a minute and the next thing I know, Papa was attempting to open the cabin door over the Pacific. Dementia doesn't take one's physical strength like Alzheimer's. Two other people were needed to wrestle him away.


Look on the bright side: you never had to take him to Ohio
 
Nick Nostril
2022-11-30 7:37:49 AM  
As an Ohioan, I can commiserate.
 
Flowery Twats
2022-11-30 7:47:42 AM  

Hoopy Frood: The woman faces two federal charges: assault within maritime and territorial jurisdiction and interference with flight crew members and attendants.

Maritime?


Gold fringe around the door
 
Flowery Twats
2022-11-30 7:49:30 AM  

tuxq: Just in case anyone here ever faces this situation, it is not possible to open those doors until the cabin has been depressurized.
Let them fight with it, I recommend taking video to laugh at them later, but it's not happening.


I winder what her plans were after she got the door open?  That first step's a doozy.
 
KStDrew
2022-11-30 7:53:22 AM  
FTA: "The bitten passenger was taken to the hospital for antibiotics and a hepatitis shot, the complaint says."

What about rabies shot?
 
GaijinH
2022-11-30 8:02:04 AM  
FTA: A woman bit another passenger after trying to open an exit door during a Southwest Airlines flight

Hey, I think I saw that movie on Netflix.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
musicmanboston
2022-11-30 8:03:36 AM  

KStDrew: FTA: "The bitten passenger was taken to the hospital for antibiotics and a hepatitis shot, the complaint says."

What about rabies shot?


/shakes tiny fist.
//beat me to it
 
1funguy
2022-11-30 8:09:33 AM  
Texas, huh..?

Texas.

Huh.
 
Gaythiest Elitist [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 8:14:50 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
JimbobMcClan
2022-11-30 8:17:53 AM  

Pextor: There's nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain.
I really like Drew Carey, and I'd love to see the Rock and Roll hall of fame.


Cleveland and Dayton are the only Brightspots.

Cleveland for the music scene, Dayton for all the Aviation museums and food
 
chitownmike
2022-11-30 8:28:27 AM  

Pextor: There's nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain..


I'm guessing you've never been there
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 8:36:53 AM  

Pextor: I'd love to see the Rock and Roll hall of fame.


For any serious rock fan, this is the mecca. For the casual person who just likes rock music, it's a good way to spend a rainy day.

The events at the top of the museum changes, so check the web site frequently to see what's being displayed. When I was there in 2011 they were featuring "Women in Rock" and among the other things, they had Lady Gaga's meat dress in the center of the room in a self preserving plastic see thru case. But you know, along with Chrissy Hynde's Telecaster and handwritten lyrics by Pat Benatar, it just seemed fitting.
 
MythDragon
2022-11-30 8:45:59 AM  
She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says.

Jesus has been a dick since he started stealing peoples heroin.
images.squarespace-cdn.comView Full Size
 
xanadian [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 9:04:57 AM  

August11: She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says.

Imagine a heaven filled with this.


Sounds like hell.
 
xanadian [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 9:07:30 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Later, handing Jesus a $5, Satan chuckled "A bet is a bet. I didn't think you had it in you, dude."


God and Satan really like to gamble, don't they? First it's Job, now it's this poor lady.

Guess if someone really wants to find Jesus, they should go to Vegas.
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 9:14:54 AM  

MythDragon: Jesus has been a dick since he started stealing peoples heroin.


Disturbing cartoon there. What makes me mad about it is that you don't see the guy in the black shirt's arm. At all. Not even from the shoulder. That's what disturbs me.

oh, and Jesus taking the shot? Not required. He has magic powers that can make him feel like he's on a dope trip 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He didn't need to steal it from the guy in the black shirt.
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 9:17:28 AM  
I mean.. Gross danger to flight and the health and safety of the passengers aside, that's a perfectly acceptable reaction to being told you're going to ohio....
 
UNC_Samurai
2022-11-30 9:24:37 AM  
At least on Southwest, the crazy lady experience is free.  Delta would have charged people a fee for that.
 
CasperImproved
2022-11-30 9:34:30 AM  
I don't know why she would have been upset... There are plenty of MAGAs in Ohio also.
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 9:36:38 AM  

steklo: MythDragon: Jesus has been a dick since he started stealing peoples heroin.

Disturbing cartoon there. What makes me mad about it is that you don't see the guy in the black shirt's arm. At all. Not even from the shoulder. That's what disturbs me.

oh, and Jesus taking the shot? Not required. He has magic powers that can make him feel like he's on a dope trip 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He didn't need to steal it from the guy in the black shirt.


I'm just picturing a followup pane with a really irritated guy in a black shirt and a *very* happy jesus....

//and an artist trying to get better at perspectives....
 
steklo [TotalFark]
2022-11-30 9:42:25 AM  

Somaticasual: and an artist trying to get better at perspectives....


As a young kid, I was always marveled by the art work in Mad Magazine.

Dave Berg, (is that his name?  The Brighter Side?) always drew "real life" Not cartoony like.

Then I was introduced to R. Crumb. Some of his cityscape backgrounds are so detailed. Right down to the power lines and connection boxes, etc.

But I also love a good cartoon.
 
Incog_Neeto
2022-11-30 9:44:24 AM  
Good luck opening that door at 30 thousand feet unless you're the hulk.
 
NevynFox
2022-11-30 9:47:30 AM  
Jesus should look a lot happier as he's riding that heroin wave. Other guy's getting pissed he keeps shooting up to no avail..
 
punkwrestler
2022-11-30 9:57:29 AM  

Muta: punkwrestler: skinink: "She told the passenger "Jesus told her to open the plane door," the complaint says."

What a jerk he is. He also told her to fly Southwest, and go to Ohio.

To be fair she was getting out of Texas....

But ended up in Arkansas.


So a wash?
 
jtown
2022-11-30 10:02:16 AM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
jmsvrsn
2022-11-30 10:11:56 AM  
Perhaps the best way to deal with these situations isn't further training for flight attendents or screening of passengers but a redisn of the airplanes themselves.
If it could be done so that the door could be opened in-flight and only the offending party is sucked out of airplane that would be a win-win situation.
 
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